RELIENT K LYRICS

"Who I Am Hates Who I've Been"

I watched the proverbial sunrise
coming up over the Pacific and
you might think I'm losing my mind,
but I will shy away from the specifics...

'cause I don't want you to know where I am
'cause then you'll see my heart
in the saddest state it's ever been.

This is no place to try and live my life.

Pre-Chorus
Stop right there. That's exactly where I lost it.
See that line. Well I never should have crossed it.
Stop right there. Well I never should have said
that it's the very moment that
I wish that I could take back.

Chorus
I'm sorry for the person I became.
I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I'm ready to try and never become that way again
'cause who I am hates who I've been.
Who I am hates who I've been.

I talk to absolutely no one.
Couldn't keep to myself enough.
And the things bottled inside have finally begun
to create so much pressure that I'll soon blow up.

I heard the reverberating footsteps
sinking up to the beating of my heart,
and I was positive that unless I got myself together,
I would watch me fall apart.

And I can't let that happen again
'cause then you'll see my heart
in the saddest state it's ever been.

This is no place to try and live my life.

Pre-Chorus x2
Chorus

Who I am hates who I've been
and who I am won't take the second chance you gave me.
Who I am hates who I've been
'cause who I've been only ever made me...

So sorry for the person I became.
So sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I'm ready to try and never become that way again
'cause who I am hates who I've been.
Who I am hates who I've been.

Mara walked along the sidewalk, heading into some of the skirtier parts of Coruscant's capitol. Luke had no idea of her intentions, nor did he know where she was. Her lightsaber hung by her side, and though she should have been filled with an infinite fear, she was completely numb and careless.

It was when she started seeing more of the Sith symbols spray painted onto the buildings that she knew she was heading into the right territory. Suddenly two Imperials dropped out of nowhere beside her, looking rather vile.

" Jade, you've got some nerve showing your face back here." One of them sneered at her. He was almost twice her size and yet she found herself smiling at him humorously.

" I wish to speak to Darren for a moment." She said to them both, smiling sweetly. Her long coat hid her weapon. The taller Imperial nodded to his companion and then they led her to where Darren was stationed, their eyes constantly watching her.

" Well, well, if it isn't my favorite little traitor. You know, begging won't be enough for forgiveness. You're going to have to add in something else too." Darren hissed out cockily to her.

Mara smirked slightly to herself, a hidden knowledge dancing behind her lowered eyelids.

" I want out, Darren. I don't want to be apart of this, of any of this, anymore."

The expression that crossed Darren's face was priceless and unexplainable. Mara somehow found joy in it.

" You know that the penalty is death."

" I have a right to defend myself against the prosecutor, which would be you." Mara answered him, her voice rising slightly.

" I see you've been doing your homework, Jade. Well, good. Now I won't feel quite so bad about killing you." Darren ignited his lightsaber, the red blade glowing eerily in the dim light. She copied his action and prepared herself to duel; a fight to the death.

000

Darren was the first to make a move, and he swiftly struck his blade towards her, an action that she blocked easily. The clash of blades was the only sound heard throughout the alleyway, and all of the Imperials were silenced as they watched the dance-like movements of the two opponents fighting.

Mara turned, barely missing a blade being plunged into her ribs. She ducked as he turned and tried to catch her head. She immediately began to panic before instinct finally took over and her steps came naturally, her movements smooth.

She began to fight back, boldness entering her blood.

And then her stomach dropped as she heard the sickening slicing of flesh and bone as his blade collided with her forearm. She suddenly paled as her nerves exploded in pain sending her into a state of shock. But still she forced herself to move for the sake of her life. Cradling her injured limb to her chest she backed away from her approaching opponent.

As she backed away her feet stumbled over an object on the ground causing her to fall backwards and onto her back. Her eyes quickly scanned her feet to see what she had tripped over. She could feel bile rise in her throat as she saw the remnants of her arm beneath the souls of her canvas shoes. The severed limb came as a harsh reality and she would have passed out if she were not currently battling her greatest enemy.

Mara scrambled to her feet and kicked at the back of his leg, and to her luck he fell back. She kicked away his fallen weapon and stood over him with her own glowing bright blue.

For the first time she looked down on him and saw fear flickering in his dark eyes. Something within her enjoyed this, and it was that same something that told her to slaughter him; the same thing that made her an Imperial. But then something else within her, she presumed a conscience, was sickened by that maddening glint that shined from his dark orbs. It was the light that kept her sane, the voice of reasoning that told her to let him live.

So she lowered her weapon slowly, watching as a cocky smile broke out across his face….. before she swiftly cut off his arm at the bicep, satisfying both voices within her.

" I don't want your life Darren, just my freedom. So let's call this even; an arm for an arm."

And without giving him any option for reasoning, she walked away into Coruscant's sunset, finally a free woman.