Disclaimer: So don't own anything.
Rating: um, pg13 cause I think I cursed, and the theme of this.
Author: Secretly Porcelain/prin69.
Archive: if you want to, just please ask me first.
Season: um, after Tyr left but before Rhade came.
Spoilers: not really. Unless you didn't know Trance turns gold, then oops….
I'm in a bad mood. And yeah, that pretty much explains this. Reviews will be adored.
Next TimeXxXxXXXxxXXXxxXXXxxxXxxxXXxxXxXxxx
"Next time, next time I will remember to say my prayers as a little girl." Beka said to herself as she walked about the Maru, sniffing and not even bothering to hold back her tears."
"Next time I will not fight with my brother, or whoever, and I will always say 'I love you' and never run away." She swallowed and closed a drawer, after putting away a shirt and finally having the room entirely clean.
"Next time I will say please and thank you and remember all my other manners. I will not be the cause of pain for people I love. I will not be the total failure I am now. I will be worth something. I will matter."
She walked around her bed and opened a box taking something out of it before closing the lid once again. She then walked over to the bad and sat down, took a deep breath to settle herself.
Staring at the metal band in her hand she spoke to it. "Next time, I'll be good enough for the men in my life, you'll see. He won't leave, or if he does he'll refuse to go without me."
"Next time, next time maybe she won't leave me. Maybe she'll love us and then daddy won't be so sad. Maybe I'll be such a good little girl that she'll have to stay."
Her conversation was interrupted by the sounds of banging on the hull of the Maru, and the voice of Trance, dulled somewhat by the metal between them. "And maybe next time if I still mess up I'll be sure to try and fix it when Trance isn't around."
She strained herself to try to hear what the golden girl was saying, and barely made out "Beka no, you don't understand, I need you, the universe needs you."
"Hmmm, you hear that?" She said to the piece of metal, "Apparently I'm needed. Who would have thought? But you know what, I don't need them. Not a single one. Sure, they may need me now, and next week even. I can pilot them, and I can back them up. But then what? Do they ever need me when we're not working? What's that? That's right, no, no they do not."
Her shaky laughter broke into the room as she set the band on her bed and went over to a table to pick something up. "You know, you know what?" She said turning back to the metal on bed. "I tried, I tried so damn hard. I mean, it was never enough for you was it? For anyone really. But you, you I thought, I thought." She sighed. "Nevermind, I don't know what I thought anymore."
She walked closer to the bed so that she was only a few steps away. "But that doesn't matter now does it? You're gone, and I'm alone. And none of them really need me anyway. My mom never did. My dad, well, he's gone too. Raif will be fine without me. And the crew will get along just fine, hah, they probably won't even notice that I'm gone. At least not until they need the Maru for something, they can just toss me out an airlock then, can't they?" she laughed once again, but it came out so sad sounding.
She sighed, "Oh well, that's life for you, or at least mine anyway."
She raised the gun to her body, "But not next time, no, my next life will be different."
A bang sounded out in the bedroom just as Trance came racing in the door. And lying on the bed was a shiny metal band, glistening with fresh blood.
XxXxXXXxxXXXxxXXXxxxXxxxXXxxXxXxxx
Anyone want to take guesses as to what the metal band was, who it was from, and who she was referring to? And remember, reviews are slices of heaven on earth, so review away!
