Total Drama: Ultimate Islands!
Episode 16: Solo Royale
Part 1: Paintball Battlegrounds!

Scott's back...

...and all hell has broken loose with the breakdown of the teams, as a new alliance is quite literally being made and old ones are steeling themselves for whatever wacky challenge Chris has.

From the title, you can tell that's not that wacky...just a paintball battle royal with 70 (and more) contestants that are fighting to both win the game, get immunity and avoid elimination through mystery means like shooting the other guy over there or throwing some paint grenade.

Also, new alliances are made and old alliances become even stronger, as Tanya's group of randos gain a new member, Dante's accidentally the head of an anti-Coachman and Azula alliance and of course, the strangest alliance...so far.

Yeah, it's going to be rough Episode 16 for our players and the two other returnees are going to come swinging in the next episode...who is it going to be?

Who knows and you could suggest them, really?

But Memeking, glad you liked the chapter overall along with Scott's return and yeah, this chapter's arguably going to be as good as the previous one!

1602jaw, it practically had to be those two...as they weren't the type to make it super far in this season, Mario Party really did a number on the cast (as you can probably see) and yeah, Dale would roast him for gettin' beaten by mascots (or aliens)

Anyways, hope you enjoy it!


"Last time on Total Drama: Ultimate Islands, we had a party! A Mario Party, where all of the games of chance, random-ness and slight insanity crashes on those 79 contestants! We've had explosions, we've had races, we've even had massive skewers that didn't hurt anyone! Seriously, these minigames are kinda messed up, man!"

Chris then laughed.

"Some bet was made apparently, as the alliances got to avoiding casualties of the strategy kind, though some contestants got to be safe from the elimination minigames! Those minigames, though? Cut two players from each and every team...and B got eliminated through the power of Chance Time!"

The host actually took the breather, as there was still a lot to explain.

"Falco & Daphne from the Swordfishes, Robyn & Ram from the Deers, Genos & Judy from the Crows and Tron Bonne & Hank from the Rhinos...they might be missed! Scott Pilgrim's back in the game, but it cost B's spot in the game, man, that's wild."

Scott was just running from a bear in the background.

"And so, the wildest season yet temporarily loses its teams for a few episodes with the 73 remaining contestants in the game! Who's going solo and who's going to take home a victory royale? And who's clutching IT! Find out in TOTAL DRAMA: ULTIMATE ISLANDS!"


I don't know who this intro motherfucker is, but tell him that if he's got a problem with Grove Street, he's got a bunch of bullets ahead of him.

...

...

...

Anyway, what the hell kinda wack name is that?!

- Sweet, 100% genuine quote from GTA: San Andreas (two thousands and three)


The day right after the challenge...

No teams would usually mean the start of an intense game of betrayal, friendship, romance and all sorts of reality show mandated craziness...for the people that knew what a reality show was.

But to the rest of the contestants.

It was like a temporary restriction had been lifted.

Wild friendships could finally be formed.

Interesting alliances could be expanded into even more interesting super alliances.

Temporary enemies became temporary friends.

ALSO, the fifteenth episode was literally one day and Yumeko did things, so it was practically chaos on top of that.

And on top of all of that...

...The two alliances weren't so far away anymore, as Azula was deep asleep, probably dreaming about the nature of imperialism and how she looked when stepping over too many boots to name (mostly Team Avatar and their many, many friends) not caring about the nature of it all.

And then, whatever bet Yumeko had woke up in the best way possible...for whoever made the bet, as she actually realised way earlier and clearly wanted to step on Yumeko's toes.

Mostly because Yumeko, Coachman and Pinstripe were together and up way earlier than Azula somehow expected and there was an explanation in order.

"Yumeko, you can make better jokes than this." Azula sounded aggravated, getting up. "And it's gone on too long."

"Oh, Azula, I bet pretty good today! I've sorted something out." Yumeko didn't even notice Coachman and Pinstripes prime piss taking position.

"Then unsort it." Azula demanded. "...What was that bet?"

"Easy. We both bet that if Coachman beat you in this challenge, then we could forge a new alliance with you...risking our game and risking the chance for elimination." Yumeko explained, like it wasn't a crazy thing. "Wanted to tell you yesterday, but someone told me you liked surprises."

Azula and Pinstripe were both just going with it at this point, sick of that bet and sure that if Yumeko wanted to, she'd be their worst enemy at the flip of a card and Coachman somehow regained his senses.

"Okay, you two, play nice. We may have betrayed some rather regrettable people, but this bet was made for a reason." Coachman stated. "Yumeko's gambling habit."

"And though, it may seem like I'm not very smart. I know a lot of things other than gambling, so it's cool!" Yumeko convinced the other two...mostly.

"Give her a gamble and she will do it..." Coachman then laughed rather proudly.

As though Azula and Pinstripe weren't begrudgingly accepting of the awkward alliance and Harley and Muscle Man were about to swing on someone.

"...and with us two and our four other allies, this competition could be ours!"

Harley and Muscle Man weren't there any more, as though they were sure of the massive mountain of potential bullshit...as Azula and Pinstripe were still unimpressed.

"If we're actually doing strategic plays. Then what were you, Yumeko, doing yesterday?" Azula asked. "Messing around with Tron Bonne?"

"Having a gamble in a minigame, pretty much." Yumeko answered nonchalantly.

"That explains a lot." Azula almost huffed. "...This mess of an alliance has impressive potential, even Coachman thinks he's in control of this thing."

Azula, Pinstripe, The Coachman and Yumeko may have been an alliance of two distinct duos...as Muscle Man was just very not pleased with what the alliance was all about, because it wasn't exactly about something.

Watching from the window with Squirrel Girl all sure of something through hushed whispers.

"Wow, this alliance sucks!" Muscle Man whispered.

"I know, right! Can't believe Harley told me!"

*Muscle Man's confessional*

"Imagine making an alliance out of a bet. Bro, that's some cartoon-type deal and man, I came here to win some money and do some wild shit with my girl!" Muscle Man exclaimed, sure of the Total Drama adventures. "...Dante's got this thing going, dude, can't not join that!"

*Pinstripe confessional*

The weasel was...not excited.

"Okay, so, I'm stuck in the best alliance of all time! Sure Azula's got her head on the right way, but the two who made it apparently have brains, because this alliance was made on a flimsy-ass bet!" Pinstripe exclaimed. "Wow, this doesn't suck that much."

*Harley's confessional"

"Gonna be honest, kinda told Squirrel Girl just for the fun of it, because it sounds really stupid and very real. Dante betrayed his friend outta nowhere, so I'm stickin' with...whatever the fuck we have."

*Confessional cut*


One day later, important decisions that had been made were made, as there were three brooding people in the area...

...or not.

"Bro, these dudes are insane!" Muscle Man shouted. "Kinda sucks that I had to leave the alliance, but those guys are flaming out."

"No way...those four combined are going to pull out some top-tier bullshit." Dante whispered. "Kinda like these guys."

"Really? Kinda looks like they're throwing out moves and plus, I don't know if I should ally with you guys." Squirrel Girl remarked. "Azula's going to flame me if I find out."

"Bro, Yumeko basically broke up the alliance for a bet." Muscle Man chuckled. "Dude, they're gone in three challenges."

"Doubt it, they've got kicking ass potential. Also, you missed the craziest!"

In another place, Dante, Squirrel Girl and Muscle Man were just in the middle of watching Pit's Amazing Smash Tournament With No Money (actual title for the actual tournament, because Lowain and Deadpool accidentally burned the original banner) and there was all sorts of play happening.

Mostly poor plays and genius plays filtered through negative skill and more SDs than any top-decks and...too many people trying to fit in the middle in the audience.

"Whoa, whoa, that's a lot of Smash references, do better things like referencing-" Deadpool said that, as his Steve was doing pretty weirdly.

"I get the feeling that I shouldn't know what's up with you." Scott Pilgrim was playing a mean Cloud.

"Good man!"

"What do you mean, good man?"

And then Scott got footstooled by Steve's Down air, as the finals was over and the amount of people that cheered was really high.

"That's some Looney Tunes original bullshit!" Scott shouted.

"Hahaha, then it's perfect for what I did."

As the 40 people that were also hanging out in the area weren't super sure about Smash, but they were excited for some kind of fun shit to see regardless of their expertise.

"Let's go, Scott! Good job, dude. You even beat the TO." Deadpool exclaimed, as Pit and Miko were...trying to go for a badly hidden kiss.

Somehow, in spite of the both of them falling down...no-one noticed their kiss attempt and they just sped up to the awards ceremony, which was Luigi really just standing there really awkwardly with a half-burnt script.

"Yeah, these winners are in fact winners of...very clean air. Not even joking, there's not even any prizes or something-" Luigi whispered something. "I'm not willing to take Chef's hit."

Scott Pilgrim, Miko and Deadpool happily accepted the regimented prizes of clean soft air and six coins that probably went for a million dollars outside of the competition.

"Yeah, yeah, Pit, I've already got more problems, I don't need one massive one." Luigi said, as he could sense the mean old cook.

"Anyways, so..." Snake whispered in his ear. "...Pretty sure you can handle it."

"Handle what, I'm sorta going through it." Luigi dismissively said. "Like we don't have to do that."

"What are you talking about, though?"

"The coins. Pit said he found them somewhere."

"I said I found them right in the ground! Did you hear that, literally everyone!" Pit yelled, as Snake and Luigi were both...stunned at how they didn't get it.

*Dante's confessional*

The white-haired guy was very much...not tired.

"Gonna be honest, no idea what else is happening? Other than bros bonding over the minutiae of playing games and us establishing a mini-alliance, what's the deal with today?" Dante asked. "...Why does Steve do that?!"

*Deadpool's confessional*

*Confessional cut*


As for the rest of them, Scott not included, they were in the business of exploring nature and/or doing alliance business in the case of a certain quartet that was hanging out in the bushes.

Riley, Tanya, Catalina and through the separation of teams, Khun, were in the business of making it work.

"The maid had it comin'. She was mean, a bitch and very annoying." Riley said.

"The way you said the same thing three times will never not be impressive!" Khun remarked.

"Fuck you...At least you ain't boring." Riley said.

"That's great. Anyways, we need to sort out this voting business, because everyone's either going to be voting for each other or there's going to be strategic votes to get out the strongest guy in the competition!" Khun had a smirk.

"Hold on, I should be saying that! As much as I'd like to get a vote on Samurai Jack, I can sense that he'd do well in whatever challenge he has." Tanya stated. "Tanjiro, though, isn't...in the right headspace."

"Right, so we're killing this guy!" Catalina enthusiastically shouted. "Fuck him."

"He's single, what's up with you?" Riley asked.

"He looks stupid and he's crazy."

"...That's a weird rationale, but we metaphorically agree with you." Tanya said this in an apprehensive way, as Khun was not pleased and Riley was mad. "We're voting off Tanjiro!"

"I know what I said, bitch!"

The four alliance members were awkwardly sitting there, as Heavy joined them and surprised all of them by agreeing with him, as he actually had a few sword slashes on his arms.

"Big kid with a big sword won't hurt me."

"And that is your fault, but you can join us anyways." Tanya said that nonchalantly, as Heavy laughed at her. "I'm not the one that let Tanjiro do some slashing!"

*Heavy's confessional*

The guy was very uncool.

"So, a small lady and white guy told me about Tanjiro voting and I was like...got friends to convince, because I've got skills to convince my people!" Heavy shouted.

*Confessional cut*

Tanjiro and Samurai Jack were having a bit of fun, using their swords to ease their minds...or at the very least, Tanjiro trying to calm down with random logs that were less wood and more...stuff that looks like wood.

The junkyard was open and ready for anyone to fuck some shit up, wherever they needed to or not.

"I know that seeing your worst enemy come back to life is...I should not have said that." Samurai Jack said, cutting another leg cleanly.

"Actually, I think I can beat them!" Tanjiro shouted. "I'm more scared about the things coming back to life."

"Yes, that is terrible, but you cannot worry about it all of the time."

"How, though? You always aren't worried about it." Tanjiro's sword was stuck for a second.

"I am, but I do not let it get to me."

Tanjiro realised, as he slammed another log of wood into the ground and then cut a log down quickly.

"How do you do that?"

"Not sure...but you'll find it." Samurai Jack cut his fourth log of wood. "Is that enough?"

Tanjiro realised through a very clean cut of a log.

"Yeah, I think I've got it!"

"Whoa, I did not know that I was getting an improv therapy session! You two cut pretty damn good, though." Sol remarked. "So, keep working on every part of yourself!"

Tanjiro and Samurai Jack both raised their thumbs with a stoic expression, as Sol barely understood the wholesome conversation.

*Sol's confessional*

"I heard something about us moving to another island and some other alliances. Considering the game, I'm gathering firewood for the next part of this season." Sol said. "Shut up, I don't have anything to admit."

*Confessional cut*


And finally, Eva, Leshawna and Ryuko were up to their business and Leshawna was left far behind like she usually was at this point, especially when they were mad and punching trees down like it was their job.

But the black lady with the big booty and the nerdy boyfriend kept on trying anyways, even as Cassie and Oikawa were running along the same path.

"Hey, what's up, big lady?" Oikawa winked at Leshawna.

"Nothing you interested in!" Leshawna shouted. "What's up with you?"

"Nothing really, aside from getting some exercise." Oikawa said. "And looking at some good looking ladies!"

"Okay, that's all I need to know-"

Another tree went down with some serious punching, as the other three had stopped to see the strange sight of two young adults punching their way through Total Drama.

Leshawna smirked, as Oikawa slightly seethed...right before he calmed down a bit.

"-I swear they were angry, you'd think that they got played!"

"Pretty sure that they did." Leshawna crossed her arms. "Don't know why else they'd be mad."

"Maybe because they're single and can't handle me being single with volleyball professional skills!" Oikawa boasted. "So...I don't really know how this game works."

"I knew that." Leshawna just left the conversation literally, as Oikawa was left standing there thinking about the game.

To be fair, it wasn't like it had affected him so far other than Sokka having a dislike for him and voting with the boys of the former Swordfishes, but Cassie provided a knock of reality.

"You have got to be kidding me? You've got a brain up there, a good one to boot!" Cassie said. "So, you better use it or I'll personally vote you off."

"Funny story..."

Oikawa's train of thought got interrupted by a loud punch from someone.

"...I know how to deal with those two."

"Great, you deal with it, then." Cassie waved off the player's invitation.

"Hey, you've got some strategies, I've got some strategies, so-"

"We'll talk about this later as a strategic group, okay."

"Okay..." Oikawa remarked, downtrodden at the fact that he was maidenless at the moment.

*Oikawa's confessional*

The guy looked frustrated.

"I can't be seen doing this! Another girlfriend broke up with me right before this show started and this show isn't really going to help my girlfriend-getting skills! They'll think I'm a weirdo...which is kinda true, but in a cool way! So, I've got a lot of options." Oikawa confessed.

*Confessional cut*

Ryuko and Eva were both breathing seriously, as their tree punching morning was done and their fists were marked with the efforts of raging, since they were sure of something.

In the middle of McLean Island's woods, there was definitely an effect on some of the places, as the toilets felt the impact of the trees...mostly because the trees landed right next to them.

"Finally, I'm not mad. We probably fucked up a few places." Eva said.

"Yeah, pretty much. Whoever's been eliminated our teammates is gonna stop doing that." Ryuko then realised something. "This was theraputic enough."

"I'm mostly pissed because my...uh...friends left me to be somewhere else." Eva tried to say, poorly covering up her involvement in Khun's alliance.

"...Good enough. I'm starting to think you know who did it and won't tell me."

"Well, I will, but Chris will-"

Ryuko and Eva were pretty close to confronting each other, as Cassie and Oikawa heard...the klaxxon to signify another challenge that was ahead of the contestants and more than likely, full of pain, struggle...and more suffering than needed.

"Come to the mess hall, I've got the best challenge yet! And a special announcement, so miss this and you'll be eliminated from the game!" Chris announced.

"I don't believe it-" Eva crossed her arms.

"Trust me, I will make it happen and so will Chef!"

All four of them realised something very obvious.

*Tails' confessional*

He was obviously very dirty.

"Chris really does put his contestants through the wringer for very odd reasons, which I both commend and dislike a certain amount." Tails complained. "AND THE TOILETS ALSO LOCKED AT THE SAME TIME!"

*Confessional cut*


Chris noticed something very important in the most hilarious way possible.

"Tails...looking as normal as ever!"

The fox had a few shards of glass and some bruises, but other than that, he was pretty much fine and Reg was angrily protecting his best friend.

"Campers, I've got three announcements that I want to drop on you! The first one is the obvious moving to Pahkitew Island business, because this name would be a lie and that's because of today's amazing and special challenge that definitely needed you guys to de-merge!"

The silence in the air could be felt, besides two people that were less than excited.

"Really? There of all places?!" Sammy asked.

"...Actually, it's safe and somehow weirder than before-" Dawn got completely cut off.

"And I need to keep this quick! Second, Scott here isn't the only returning contestants in this challenge and there might even be a new one! Maybe, but there's definitely more returns than you think!"

Scott was suddenly not excited, as Yuri and Mystique Sonia was slapping him together to figure who else it could be.

"And lastly, the top 8 regardless of whatever happens will be immune to any votes that you guys give! A friend, an enemy or some camper, they can't be voted off!"

"Okay, now that's paying my attention!" Scott completely pushed Yuri and Mystique Sonia out of his situation.

"Finally, something good!" Sammy shouted. "...I think I can make it to top 8 of...this challenge."

"And last of all, I'm pretty sure you've figured out the challenge!" Chris announced, as all of the contestants weren't responding. "...You guys are battle each other on Pahkitew Island, Fortnite-style! Simple as that!"

A lot of the contestants were cheering for an pretty obvious reason, as there was one obvious thing that stood out quite obviously...mostly down to the paintball guns that Chef had.

"Okay, that's great. But how are we going to get there?" Sammy was a little bit nervous.

"Eh, we've got something." Chris chuckled, putting up a gas mask.. "Trust me, it really is like Fortnite!"

All of the contestants may have been dusting themselves off or talking about random stuff, but they all realised that they were stuck in the sleeping gas hall.

Even the interns and cooks had masks to move the contestants, as there was only one thing to do before releasing the gas from the room, the lights dimmed just for atmosphere and to also make the campers sleepier through the usage of light.

The interns had one big job to do, as Chris left the place and Chef was ready to get cracking on this job to move the contestants all around the enlarged, artificial island that the season was suddenly set on.


The first one to wake up wasn't even close to being the most adept in quite a sour situation, but they woke up anyways, as Miko and Clover just got up together and immediately pointed their guns towards each other.

And they both realised that this wasn't the same, danger-filled, polarised climate and mostly-mechanical Pahkitew Island that was shown on their televisions or their streaming services.

The sky was still bright, the sun was high in the sky and the cacti was...what were the cacti actually, as they were straight in the middle of a desert zone, new to the half-artifical island and looked at the water spout that was right ahead of them, spitting out water.

It was very clear that it was Pahkitew Island, as they could see some trees and it was no mirage either, as another tree got completely knocked down again.

But the water spout was still miles away.

"Hey, get your own water!" Clover took up a drink of water.

"Cool, I was!" Miko spitefully carried a bottle of water. "We should team up!"

"I thought of it first!"

The two realised that they were getting nowhere with the fighting...especially with the insanely strong competition around shooting like it was nobody's business.

Being the target of two guys that were keeping their distance, as they were dodging and rolling out of the way of the shooters' well-placed shots and sprinting right into a rock.

"Oh my gosh, they're shooting like something's on sale!" Clover was trying to shoot back with her paintball gun.

Miko then did a backflip to do some tactical gun action...even if it wasn't tactical at all, as Clover wasn't getting pelted with a ton of gunfire and Miko was flipping around the clear shots for style points

"I'm outta here, bye!" Miko managed to take some shots, right before running away with one elimination to her name.

Miko and Clover just went off in completely different directions, as they had better things to do than stay lost together and decided to sprint out in the open, avoiding some more shots.

Lowain, Deadpool and Joseph just grumbled at how bad their point blank shots were, especially since Joseph's hands were crackling with energy that made the paintballs straight enough to snipe anyone.

Joseph didn't have great eyes in the artifical dusty desert, Deadpool had enough ammo to supply a Call of Duty paintball match and Lowain was also shooting his butt, trying to imitate a certain assassin gunner from his home series.

Standing behind a rock, they weren't getting the best shots of Clover and Miko was...faceplanting into the dead desert thanks to a completely butchered flip and her getting hit by the shots, as the trio of boys pelted the gamer girl with a lot of paintballs.

Joseph, Deadpool and Lowain were suddenly not behind a rock and they all did the Joestar-created poses, as they eliminated their first player.

"...It's not that big of a deal, though." Lowain said.

"It felt like an appropriate time! And there's going to be a lot more of these!" Joestar shouted. "So, let's get back to looking!"

"We're looking respectfully for anyone shooters out here!" Lowain declared. "Deadpool, why do you have a gun that big?"

"Hey, at least he's got a Tommy gun!"

The two of them was respecting Deadpool's choice to carry a Tommy paintball gun and a machine paintbull gun in both hands, as Lowain had a paintball pistol and Joseph had crackly hands.

*Miko's confessional*

She was really swinging for some heads.

"I can't believe it...Deadpool's my guy if I want to shoot something that looked like some shithead!" Miko shouted, as then she pulled out an axe that disappeared. "...That never happened."

*Confessional cut*


Scott Pilgrim already woke up, as the orange-haired gamer backflipped out of the ground and pull out his Sword of Love quite suddenly in the middle of this quite Canadian area.

The tundra was somehow covered with snow in the middle of July, the guy not even wearing a winter jacket with the sword and then pulling it back in the frigid air of the tree-covered mountainside that held a weird air...considering it was the island that was partially mechancial and still held a notable amount of death traps.

Scott got up to see someone quite unexpected, as he was shooting a frying pan that was being held by someone.

Someone who was wearing a lilac dress and has extremely long hair.

"Didn't you get eliminated?" Scott asked.

"Yeah, but I kinda got uneliminated! Didn't know that Chris...did that." Rapunzel still held the pan.

"Happens a lot." Scott said. "Alright, we can be friends."

"...Cool."

Rapunzel put down the pan, as Scott looked at her rather distractedly and the two of them weren't sure what to do other than to reload and figure out...what the fuck they were doing.

"Alright, we've got a gamer guy and a princess coming back for the wildest battle royale so far! Chaos back in Pahkitew Island, it's more happenin' than you think...after the break!" Chris just switched the show to break.


To be continued in the second part of the paintball survival challenge!

With Scott Pilgrim and Rapunzel.

And all of the chaos that the new alliances bring.

And Joseph, Lowain and Deadpool making questionable jokes.

And the power of love, of course and two additional returnees, which you, the reviewers have an hand in with!