Chapter 3:

Chi Wants

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Chi is a great cook. I mean it, she really is. She may not be able to eat or taste food, but she sure knows how to put together a good meal.

Still, I had forgotten just how good farm-fresh steak and a baked potato can be. "Mm! Thiffishdewishush!" I said, which would have translated to, "Mm! This is delicious!" if my mouth wasn't full of Mom's home cooking. Mom, Dad and Aki got a kick out of my gobbledegook, and Chi smiled warmly at me as I finished.

"Whoa! Boy, that was great! Thanks for the welcome-home lunch, you guys."

"Not a problem," Dad replied, polishing off his glass of milk. "Heck, if it'll make you consider coming home more often, we'll make you a banquet every night."

"Masao!" Mom whined half-jokingly, "If Hideki takes you up on that, I'm making you figure out how to put together the desserts!"

My dad shrugged a little sheepishly -- he may be big and strong, but he can't cook worth beans, hence why Mom has always been the undisputed Queen of the Kitchen.

"All right! Uncle!" he said, then turned to me. "Son, I'm sorry, but by Her Highness's decree, you'll still be eating the same gruel as the rest of us."

Everyone laughed at that - well, everyone except Chi, who could only watch from her seat beside me, her head cocked to one side, a look on her face that clearly said, Hideki, what just happened? Was something funny? Should I be laughing, too? I felt a bit sorry for her; here I was, laughing it up with my family, and Chi could only sit there without so much as a plate in front of her, probably feeling like an outcast.

As the chuckes died down, I tried to find a way to include my fiancee in the conversation. "Hey, speaking of desserts, Mom, Chi is a pretty good pastry chef. You remember how I told you she has a job at the bakery?"

I heard Mom say "Yes," but what really caught my attention was how Chi's face lit up as we finally arrived at a topic that she could contribute to.

At first, Mom seemed a little uncomfortable addressing Chi, but pretty soon, Chi and my mother were having a fun, animated discussion about everything having to do with European desserts, from apple danishes to lemon meringue pies. At some point, they even started talking about simple, everyday things, like how the Uedas were planning to buy a new house in the suburbs, and how Takako had finally landed her dream job as an elementary school teacher.

Just watching the two of them together, having a normal conversation, made me feel like a hot-air balloon; I think I might have floated up through the roof if I wasn't so full from lunch. That Chi could feel like a part of the family, and that my mother could at least talk to her like a normal person, gave me hope for the rest of the week. Aki was staring at them, a look of sheer amazement on his face, watching what he had thought was a computer holding up her own end of a conversation, smiling and laughing. Even Dad looked amused as he watched Mom and Chi go back and forth, just two women catching up on the latest gossip.

If we can keep this up, I thought, then maybe by Friday ...

Then Chi looked away from my mother, looking suddenly concerned. "Mrs. Motosuwa, what was that noise?"

With everyone quiet, the sound came again, and I recognized it in a second: the lowing of some very unhappy cattle.

Dad smacked his forehead. "Oh, damn, I forgot! I haven't milked the cows all day!"

"The cows sound hurt," Chi said. "Does not milking the cows hurt them?"

I tried to explain. "Well, you see, Chi, the cows we have here are all milk cows. They make milk, then store it up in these things called udders, so that when people milk them, they can just squirt it out. But if they don't get milked, the udders get too full and it hurts. It's kind of like how humans get a stomach ache if they get too full. See?"

Chi nodded. "Chi understands. Chi wants to help milk the cows so that they don't hurt any more."

Dad got up from his chair. "Well, like they say, the more the merrier. Hideki, why don't you go up to the linen closet and get some work clothes for you and your computer here? Aki, you help your mother with the dishes, then come out to the barn when you're finished."

"Okay, Dad," Aki said, and bent over to help Mom clear off the lunch dishes. Meanwhile, I led Chi upstairs and opened up the hall closet, pulling out some denim overalls, a long-sleeved wool shirt, and a pair of boots which looked like they belonged to Mom. "Here, Chi," I said. "Try these on."

"Chi," she said with a nod, and headed for the bathroom. I pulled out some clothes for myself - why I hadn't thought to bring some from home, I don't know - and waited for Chi to finish. When she came out, though, I realized that I hadn't quite gotten the size right; my mother may not be a plus-size, but compared to Chi, she's a giantess, and the clothes hung off my fiancee.

"Hideki?" she said as the shirt's collar dipped down, giving me a very clear view of her chest, "Chi thinks we need to find a smaller outfit."

I blushed. "Er, yeah, I think you're right, Chi." I went back into the closet, rummaged around for another minute or so, and came out with a boy-sized set of clothes which - I hoped - Aki had outgrown. "How's this?" I asked. Chi shrugged and went back into the bathroom, reemerging a moment later in a much better-fitting outfit. The shirt was a bit tight across her chest, but at least she wouldn't give Dad (or, God forbid, my little brother!) a straight view down her cleavage when she leaned over.

"Hey, that's great, Chi!" I said. "You look like a real farm girl."

Chi gave me one of her joyful, radiant smiles. "Chi!" she said happily, and I gave her a quick peck on the cheek as I went in to change.

When Chi and I came back downstairs, Dad had already gone, so we crossed the driveway and headed over to the dairy barn. Inside, we found Dad on his knees, milking one of about twenty perturbed-looking cows, all of which were making a racket as they tried to get our attention.

"About time!" Dad grunted. "Hideki, you and your robot take that first cow on the left and work your way down that side. I'll start on the right side, and when Aki comes out, just send him over to me."

"Got it," I said, grabbing a bucket and leading Chi over to our first "patient". "Now, Chi," I said, "milking a cow is pretty easy. You just keep tugging on the teats, and the milk comes out. You do that for all the teats, then when they all stop giving milk, you go on to the next cow." I gave a tug to demonstrate, and out came a stream of fresh milk.

"Chi milks the cow by tugging? Like this?" Chi gave it a try, and brought forth her own jet of milk - only this time, because some of the stream hit the side of the bucket, she got a splash of warm white stuff on her face as well. Chi fell back, giggling, then turned to me. "Milking the cow is just like milking Hideki!"

I think my face went a deep shade of red, and I could only pray that Dad hadn't overheard. "Uh, not really, Chi. See, all these cows are girl cows, so their teats aren't the same as ... well, you know. That. They're more like your ... um ... er ..." I took a deep breath. "They're like those," I finally said, pointing to her chest.

"Chi?" Chi cocked her head to one side, then pulled on the collar of her shirt and looked down. "But Hideki, Chi's chest doesn't make milk. Do human girls make milk, or do only cows do that?"

By now, my face had gone through red and maroon, and was now on its way to royal purple. "Er, um, yes, Chi, human girls make milk like cows. It's for feeding babies. Can we talk about this later? And please don't show your chest around my Dad!"

Chi just sat there, looking sad. "Cows make milk ... and humans make milk ... but Chi doesn't make milk."

My raging libido suddenly died as I realized what Chi was thinking. "Oh, Chi, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to--"

"What's that?" Dad called. "Hideki, quit messing around with your computer and get a move on!"

"Sorry! Just a sec," I said, then whispered, "Chi, we're gonna have to talk about this later. Do you think you can milk a couple of these cows by yourself?" She nodded and began squeezing out milk like a pro while I went a few stalls further down and started on another cow. Eventually, Aki came in, and after a little while, we all came out of the barn, covered with dirt and hauling four buckets of milk apiece.

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Once we'd gotten the milk tucked safely in the fridge, Chi and I went over to the guest house to clean up and get unpacked before dinner. Luckily, Chi is waterproof, so she took a nice, long shower while I started moving our stuff from the suitcases into the dresser in our bedroom. After a little while, she came out of the bathroom, wrapped in a towel. "Hi, Chi," I said. "Your clothes are in the top drawer."

"Thanks, Hideki," she said. She walked over to the dresser, but stopped and looked at me. "Hideki, since it's 'later', can Chi and Hideki talk for a bit?"

I remembered what had happened in the dairy barn and nodded. "Sure, Chi. Do you want to sit down?"

"Chi," she said, and we both took a seat on the bed.

"Hideki, Chi has been thinking about some things for a while, but ever since Hideki proposed to Chi, Chi feels like those things are more important now."

"What kinds of things?"

Chi was quiet for a bit. "Chi has always known that Chi ... can't do certain things, even though Chi wants to. Some things Chi knows that Mama can fix, especially if Chi and Hideki get married - Mama can help Chi look Hideki's age, and maybe Mama can even give Chi the parts so that Chi and Hideki can ... can be one."

I stared at Chi. "You .. you would ask her to do those things?"

She just smiled at me. "Of course. Hideki works hard not to bring it up, but Chi knows there are some things that Hideki wants, even if Hideki is too nice to ask."

I chuckled. "Chi, you know me way too well. Of course, I think you're still pretty good-looking even as a sixteen-year-old."

Chi's smile brightened for a moment, then her expression darkened as she looked away. "But ... even if Mama helps Chi with those things, there are still some things that Chi will never do because Chi isn't human. Chi is still a persocom. Chi can never have ..."

Now I had a feeling I knew what was on Chi's mind. "What don't you think you can have?" I asked softly, putting a hand on her shoulder.

Chi looked back at me, and as I looked into those deep brown eyes of hers, I felt like I was drowning in two bottomless pools of sadness. Then she bowed her head, and said, almost in a whisper:

"Chi will never have children."

How do you respond to something like that?

Ever since Chi and I realized that we were in love, we'd known that there would be challenges. I had pretty much shrugged them off - I loved Chi for who she was, not just for what she could do. Yes, I'd probably stay a virgin unless Chi actually asked her mother to remove her reset switch, but it had never really bothered me. I'd also expected that things would get awkward as I kept getting older and Chi stayed as young as when she was first made. Even the fact that we couldn't have kids was fine with me - sure, I'd always wanted to be a father, but if that was the price for staying with the woman I loved, it was a very small price to pay.

Every time Chi had asked if I was happy with her, even despite those problems, I'd just smile and say yes, and it was always the truth. As long as I could be together with Chi, the rest just didn't seem to matter.

It had never really occurred to me that Chi might want those things for herself.

"I ... I ... Chi, I don't ..."

She looked up at me, tears running down her cheeks. "Hideki ... maybe it's a mistake for Hideki to marry Chi. If Chi and Hideki are married, Hideki can never be together with anyone else. If Hideki married a human woman, Hideki could have children, even though Chi can't. Hideki could have a different someone special ... someone who could do all the things Chi can't ... and Hideki would be happier."

I tried to come up with something - anything - that might help her feel better, but I was totally at a loss.

So, instead, I wrapped my arms around Chi and held her close. "Chi ... I could never be happy with anyone but you. Remember when you told me that I was your only person? How I was the one just for you?"

"Chi?" she said, still looking down.

I lifted her chin so that our eyes met. "Well, Chi, I feel the same way about you. You're my only person. I wish there was some way I could help you feel better ... something I could do to give you what you want. But ... well ... I may be a human, but there are some things I can't do, either."

"Hideki ... " She stared at me with a mix of sadness, shock and ... could that be ... relief? Then she crushed herself to me and started sobbing. "Chi loves Hideki so much!" she cried into my shoulder. I stroked her long golden hair, holding her tight, trying to help her feel how much I loved her, as though, somehow, I could fill that empty place I hadn't even known Chi had inside her heart.

"I love you, too, Chi," I whispered. "God, I love you, too..."

The next morning, when Mom asked why I had missed dinner, I told her that I'd been too worn out after milking the cows. Dad had just laughed it off, and Aki had called me names like "wimp" and "wienie" in that sweet yet embarassing way that only little brothers can pull off. Still, I didn't regret spending the night talking with my fiancee for a second. So what if I went hungry for one night?

Some things are just more important.

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Many, many thanks to Kikyana Kes for editing and proofreading the first draft. Thank you so much for reading and critiquing every chapter of this fanfic, and for helping make this story the best it can be!

--Q42