When
Smashers Quit
Chapter Two: Mewtwo
The Pokemon levitated,
hovering right next to a table, putting things together, screwing
bits into other bits. He was isolated from all contact; he was
completely alone in his own peaceful space, so he could work on his
biggest desire, the project that he had been working on for years- a
machine that was started being built years ago. He just had to put
the long metal item together, with the rest of the machine, he just
had to get a hammer, and nail it in. It was so easy, and so perfect.
Even though anger took over this Pokemon for most of the time, he
could still manage a sly grin, a small chuckle, because soon, he
would be the most superior Pokemon! Why? Because he would be the only
Pokemon.
"I just need to hammer this in," raged Mewtwo to
himself. "And twenty year's work will pay off! I will be the only
Pokemon, and I will no longer suffer!"
Mewtwo slowly levitated
the hammer, the screw, and the long metal item. Using his hands to
levitate, he put the long metal item against the rest of the machine,
and put the nail on the long metal item. He waved his left hand to
the right, so the hammer started hitting the nail. Only a few more
hits, and this portable machine will wipe out all Pokemon! He dragged
his left hand back out, and then dragged it right again, making the
nail go in even more. One more hit, and he could activate the
machine, causing all Pokemon but him to perish! He slowly dragged his
hand to the left, and did a small smirk, which normally wouldn't
happen to him, being the raging person he is. He dragged his hand,
which made the hammer levitate left, and then quickly, he dragged
left hand quickly to the right, hitting…
"Hey cool, a
hammer!"
Peach stuck her head between the hammer and the nail,
causing the hammer to hit her.
"Hi Mewtwo, you're a sweet
kitty! Do you want some kitty food? Because you're not getting any,
because I'm eating all of the egg and spoon races!" said Peach,
really fast.
"Peach, get out of the way!" raged Mewtwo, trying
to levitate Peach away from him.
"Oh, are you here to see my
impressions?" asked Peach, really fast. "Because I'm a whale!
Look at me ma, I'm a whale!"
Peach jumped stomach down onto
the table, crushing Mewtwo's machine.
"Yay! I've got another
impression! Do you want to see my impression? I thought it up when I
was walking along the beach with a dead dog, and everyone was staring
at me, because it wasn't actually a dog, I took toad out of his
coffin and started walking around, but anyway, I went to the candy
store, and I found this game, which was called pinball! I played it
for a couple of hours, and then I thought, hey, maybe I should do a
Pac Man impression!" said Peach, really, really,fast.
"Do you wanna see my Pac Man impression, huh? Huh? Huh? Huh?
Bacon!"
Peach did a twirl and looked at Mewtwo.
"Peach, go
away!" raged Mewtwo, who then levitated an anvil, and dropped it on
Peach.
Peach promptly got up from under the anvil, and then looked
at Mewtwo.
"Here's Pac Man!" said Peach.
Peach started
biting big chunks out of Mewtwo's machine, and started
swallowing.
"Peach!" raged Mewtwo. "What do I do now? I'm
going to have to open you up! You foul excuse for a human being! I'm
going to have to cut you open now!"
"Yay, I remember the last
time I played operation!" said Peach.
begin
flashback
Peach hit her head into a wall.
"Ow!"
Peach
hit her head into a wall.
"Ow!"
Peach hit her head into a
wall.
"Ow!"
end flashback
"Hey,
Landlord!" said Falco, knocking on a door.
The door was promptly
opened, and the landlord looked at Falco.
"Yes?" asked the
anthropomorphic pink flamingo landlord.
"I really enjoy this
studio apartment that I rented from you, ma'am!" said Falco.
"I'm
a guy," said the landlord. "And you're evicted!"
"Bu-
But why?" stammered Falco.
"You're not supposed to be
satisfied with low-rent apartments! You're supposed to be depressed
and lonely," said the landlord, who was a pink flamingo, but
male.
"Oh," said Falco, disappointedly. "At least I get the
TV that you gave me!"
"Actually, that's only if you watch
the Cokepsi™ Channel 24 hours a day!"
"Oh," said Falco.
"Well, well guess what? I'm going to get you back, in the worst
way possible!"
Later…
"You're putting
fourteen items in the "Twelve items or less" checkout?" asked
the pink flamingo.
"Yeah, you feel intimidated now?" asked
Falco.
"Uh… how does being uncourteous to a supermarket that
I'm not even associated with intimidate me?"
"Well now that
I've scarred you for life, you'll surely give my apartment back!"
said Falco, evilly.
"But, I've already evicted you!" said
the landlord.
Falco looked angrily at the landlord, and then
looked sad, realising he'd been evicted.
Mewtwo rummaged
through a big pile of assorted instruments and metals.
"How
will I manage to be the only Pokemon, now that that dastardly woman
had to ruin my years of effort?"
Mewtwo lifted a spanner,
and knocked it against the wall.
"Maybe all of this is a
cover, and she knows about my cunning plan…"
Mewtwo looked
slightly surprised as he lifted a giant blueprint out from under the
pile.
"I know, I'll eliminate her!"
Mewtwo forced
an evil grin, and then looked as his blueprint for a giant
destruction machine.
"How should I get rid of her? Nuke her
room?"
Mewtwo pondered that thought for a while, but shook
his head in rejection.
"Nah… because my room would probably
get affected as well…"
Mewtwo stood still, thinking for a
while, but then had an ingenious idea…
"I know… I'll
feed her a Super-Happy-Fun-Burger™© burger!"
Mewtwo
scampered out of his room quickly to the nearest
Super-Happy-Fun-Burger™© chain.
"Hey," said Mewtwo
to a Super-Happy-Fun-Burger™© worker.
"Yes?" replied
the worker at the counter.
Mewtwo leant forward to the worker, as
if he were about to whisper something.
"Can you… Can you make
a really unhealthy, uncooked burger for me to kill someone with?"
whispered Mewtwo to the worker.
"I'm sorry, it's against
company policy to make lethal burgers, as our customer's health is
our greatest concern!" said the worker.
Mewtwo looked at a
wrapped burger that was moving and making clucking sounds.
"I'm
sorry? What did you say?"
"Our customer's health is our
greatest concern!"
The fish fillet rotted.
"Oh," said
Mewtwo, looking at a burger with purple meat. "Uh… I'll get uh…
a… uh… the… Fish Fillet…"
Mewtwo took the burger, and
ran back to Smash Mansion.
"Hey Peach," said Mewtwo, with
a very unconvincing grin on his face. "Burger time!"
Mewtwo
offered Peach the burger, and she ate it up in a few minutes.
Nothing
happened.
"Don't you feel queasy or something?" raged
Mewtwo, angrily.
"No," replied Peach.
"What?" shouted
Mewtwo. "You didn't die, and you wasted me four bucks?"
Peach
nodded while smiling, munching on the Fish Fillet.
"What?"
screamed Mewtwo. "That four dollars was going towards an amusing
bumper sticker to put on my evil Pokemon Death Ray!"
Mewtwo
broke into tears.
"Don't worry," said Peach, patting Mewtwo.
"I'm sure I can fix your Death Ray, after all, I still have two
more wishes from the Wish Fairy!"
Peach smiled triumphantly, and
did a twirl.
"Okay," snorted Mewtwo. "If this, 'Wish
Fairy' exists, then why don't you ask the 'Wish Fairy'
to repair my Pokemon Death Ray!"
"Can do," said Peach,
clicking her fingers.
The Wish Fairy appeared.
"Hello Peach,
you still have two more wishes," said the Wish Fairy.
"Okay,
uh… I wish for… uh… uh… uh… uh…"
"Peach, you want
a Pokemon Death Ray," whispered Mewtwo into Peach's hair.
"Okay,"
said Peach. "I wish for a Pokemon …"
Jigglypuff ran into the
room.
"Jig Ig, Jig Ig? Jig Iggly Puff Uff Puff, ig piggly jig
puff!" said Jigglypuff. "Oh Peach, is the Wish Fairy here?
Ooh, ooh, get a bubble gum dispenser!"
"Okay," said
Peach. "I wish for a Pokemon bubble gum dispenser!"
A Pokemon
bubble gum dispenser appeared. Jigglypuff hugged Peach, then picked
up the bubble gum dispenser and ran away.
"Peach, you immortal
fool!" raged Mewtwo. "Why did you waste that wish? Wish for a
Death Ray, now!"
"Uh… Okay," said Peach. "I wish for a
Pokemon Death Ray!"
A Pokemon Death Ray Appeared.
"Yes!"
shouted Mewtwo. "After my Death Ray almost not being here due to a
Bubble Gum dispenser, I can now wipe out all other Pokemon!"
Mewtwo
cackled evilly.
Peach spilled a conveniently placed coffee.
The
machine melted.
Mewtwo gazed awkwardly, and broke into
tears.
"Don't worry," said Peach, patting Mewtwo. "I'm
sure I can fix your Death Ray, after all, I still have no more
wishes from the Wish Fairy!"
Mewtwo started hyperventilating due
to enormous amounts of crying.
"That's it!" screamed Mewtwo,
ripping a wall in half and knocking expensive items of shelves,
storming towards Master Hand's office. "Master Hand, I
quit!"
"Whatever," said Master Hand, calmly, "It's not
as if you contributed to the tournaments in any way
whatsoever."
Mewtwo used his psychic powers to demolish Luigi's
room (on top of him), and then left.
