Total Drama Ultimate: Islands!
Episode 20: Thursday's Throwback
Part 4: Pahking-a-tew Punches

...Yeah, this part's going to be shorter than the last part, which shouldn't be too hard since I practically wrote a third of it in one day...at 2 in the morning!

So, yeah, Lowain and Yumeko's thing is happening, Coachman actually does stuff and the Drama Berets also do things on the losing team while an actual disaster happens.

It's a long story and it's not going to be short!

1602jaw: For Aisling, desperate times to call for desperate measures and uh...it does not well for her (not physically) and I'd bet your Ryuko would get angry.
More importantly, mammoths' natural enemies are specifically witches, demon hunters, bank robbers and super-powerful bounty hunters, so they were already dead (Not even joking, you should check the last chapter again, please)

Okay, let's go.


"And we are back with the end of the challenge!" Chris announced. "I can see the fear in there, by the way, 'cause if your team you have to vote off your teammates!"

"I'm not!" Dante remarked.

"Takes a lot to scare a witch." Bayonetta's smirk got wider.

Like the weekend coming in, their rivalry may have been apparent, when it kicked in, everyone could see them speeding through absurd obstacle to absurd obstacle like it wasn't the craziest thing ever.

They were so focused on being ahead of each other that they didn't notice that the most powerful movers were actually moving, as well, as Tanjiro was leapin', Samurai Jack was samurai...-ing, Tails was carrying Reg, Aisling and Mr. Smee, Deadpool teleported, Samus put on the suit, Miko and Clover leaped through the thing like they were in their normal jobs, Michiru flew over the thing with Kipo providing a boost, Mai was a ninja, Shego and Squirrel Girl jumped through and...Sol was just there, running towards the finish...using high jumps where applicable.

That still came out to about...17 out of the 52 players that were navigating the course without that much trouble, minus the occassional burns and stupid injuries that came from the challenge.

The other 39 were trying their best.

"Why is there death-defying rocks?" Sakura didn't have the time to hit them.

"The better question is...what did you expect?" Uraraka floated some of them.

Sakura didn't have an good answer and Uraraka regretted answering the question, but it was soon going to be eighteen...or twenty, because Yumeko and Lowain were together...not for lack of the latter's seperation attempts.

"Uh, I bet there's a long story that totally isn't suspcious." Rock remarked. "Come on, I've seen this show fifty times! There's gonna be-"

"-sex moment, we get it, buddy! Not all of us are like me." JFK bragged, as Rock looked at him incredulously.

"-I was talking about alliances."

"Sure, you were."

While that was happening, Kyo, Yuri, Luigi, Cassie Cage and Tiana (she got carried by Luigi) made it and that was...twenty-seven, since Rock and JFK screamed themselves to the finish line.

"Wow, that was a metal scream."

"Shut up, Rock." JFK said.

There was one obvious question, why was Mikasa and Nobara stuck at the safe area in the middle of the long, winding and wild course that had thrown them up more than a few times.

"You're in an alliance with Shego." Mikasa said.

"No! I hang out with Shego and vote with Shego...that's it." Nobara crossed her arms.

"Cool. You wanna join our little group."

"...No, there's 13 people in there."

"Fair point."

And then they were off again, not noticing that Iori had made it along with Nicole and Riley and soon enough, they were fucking moving like they hadn't moved from the start line.

"I'm so glad that you guys are letting me do this! Last person to make it here gets eliminated" Chris shouted from the finish line, as Sammy was on top of Leshawna. "Good instinct."

"Thank you." Sammy's hair was more frayed.

33, 34 now...out of the remaining 56 contestants had arrived at the finish line.

"You're not welcome, bro." Muscle Man remarked, clearly not in the mood. "Anyways, where the heck's the old man?"

"Please don't ask." Leshawna's hands were free.

"Just wanted to ask."

"I didn't."

Pit made it because it would be insane for him to not make it and the same kind of went for Hsien-Ko and Giovanni, who got their fare share of boils, hilariously singeing only their clothes and not their actual bodies.

"37! Seriously, some of you want to be in the next round, right?" Chris announced. "38...some major players that happen to be in the season that-"

While Tifa just ran through it, Scott Pilgrim got burnt more than a few times in the process...and very hilariously, Pinstripe Potoroo got through it...with only his suit taking the burnt.

"For the love of all that is Italian, why is there fire?" Pinstripe asked.

"Because it's cool! Also, there's only twelve members left in this challenge, so...chop-chop!" Chris announced. "Ten, because Ryuko and Joseph...are...here!"

They weren't wearing much at the moment, that's for sure, but they were still decent for television and it was about to come up to the number that mattered.

How many Smash characters had been in Smash, as of Brawl.

*Mikasa's confessional*

Mikasa had a ton of thoughts about the literal elephant in the room.

"And look at that. The Coachman, legend of being elusive and very cool, is up for elimination again. Why make this alliance at all...actually, what is he doing?"

*Kasumi's confessional*

"I don't know he covered my ears, but I guess it doesn't matter since if my team arrives first, I'll be safe, right?" Kasumi asked. "...Chris would pull a move like that."

*Coachman's confessional*

He didn't look ashamed, just embarrassed.

"...You'd do that wouldn't you if you were bottom 3 and currently being sabotaged by some idiot who can't move properly." Coachman remarked. "...Yelp's a noise, my friend."

*Confessional cut*


Within the awesome misadventures of Kasumi, Coachman, Rapunzel and Legoshi, there was definitely four things that held each other's back.

Coachman being a fat-ass, Legoshi being a slightly scaredy wolf with a passion, Rapunzel's...hair and Kasumi was wondering what the fuck was going on.

Besides dodging more boiling water that still did numbers to the hair girl's head, but Rapunzel was looking to have...not that happen.

"Hey, guess what, Ryuko, Tanya and Catalina have made it! You've got to make it quick or else, you'll be sent home!" Chris announced, Kasumi not hearing that last part.

Kasumi was starting to get suspicious of the old man's "sincere" help.

"No way you're not up to something! I'm not scared of these obstacles!" Kasumi shouted.

"That is true, but you should be careful to focus on what's actually ahead of you, if you don't-" Coachman quietly said, as Kasumi got blown sky high...

...directly upwards.

"What was that?!" Kasumi yelled from on top of the geyser.

"You should be more careful! Your ears are...something."

Kasumi just directly jumped down, as Legoshi realised that-

"Hey, hey, hey, Sokka and Heavy made it and they're...not in a good state AKA...perfectly closed!" Chris saw that the duo were charred.

-he was in this to win it and quickly sprinted, actually throwing Kasumi off completely and leading the aikido practicioner to actually roll on the ground for a couple of seconds.

"Can I carry you, your highness?" Coachman politely asked.

Rapunzel's displeased face showed everything else, but...

...well...

...it was all over...

...for one lady that Yuri was friends with...

"And dang, Legoshi sprints here in not so record time! Where were you?" Chris said.

"...Not here, that's for sure." Legoshi said, hearing a earthquake in his ears.

"Must suck to be stunned."

"Yeah, thanks, man."

Legoshi just waved off Chris, as he got some tinnitus.

"Okay, where were you two, you guys were almost out of the game! Huh, not enough motivation?" Chris asked the "ferocious" duo of Rapunzel and Coachman. "Cool."

"No, he tricked Kasumi! I know this is a game, but that's some underhanded stuff." Rapunzel stated, getting a weak kick on the old man.

"And that's how we won." Coachman took the kick pretty well.

"...That is true 'cause the Fiery Foxes win this round, the Chill Capybaras have to vote three people out of the competition." Chris said. "Besides Kasumi, because she's going straight home!"

Azula just looked at Coachman like she could care less, but she didn't care much, as Miko finally hugged Pit with a display of affection that immediately got split up by each other.

On the other side, Samus broke a random gourd that was there, as Snake wondering what was going on her mind, Sokka was scared...along with the rest of the safe contesants.

Chill Capybaras: 30 (- Kasumi Todoh)

*Kasumi's confessional*

"Apparently what you said came true, mom, I did get messed with by some fool. But this time, he was a smart fool who uses his kindness for evil! That doesn't mean I will stop practicing my dad's arts."

Kasumi just sighed, as she genuinely missed a good chunk of the people.

"That being said, I've met a lot of kind and awesome weirdos, normal guys and whoever was nice to me! Can't even remember all of their names, but still...gonna miss this place."

*Azula's confessional*

"Coachman's first good decision in thirteen episodes, because he really thought he could sacrifice Sol to...some witch to win and he expects me to be impressed. This is still my game, you fool!" Azula had to tell to prove an obvious point.

*Confessional cut*


The Chill Capybaras were either mad or disappointed, as they were plain sure that somebody had to gome other than the two pairs of obvious targets that were both sitting next to each other.

Kasumi may have already been eliminated, but she could definitely throw a vote out there, Legoshi wasn't scared anymore

"Bruh, wolf guy, why are you such a pussy?" Riley asked.

"Because there was a earthquake. What, you weren't scared?" Legoshi asked.

"No! That frown was for strategy."

"...Ok."

Legoshi didn't believe him, mostly because he knew that he was on a one way trip to the elimination zone and also because, he could actually be a threat in the right hands.

Some of the more knowledge-able players knew that.

"Look, Tanjiro, this guy might be cool to you, but from what I know, he can run faster and fight good...which applies to half of the team." Snake said. "And right now, a nine-year old's beating him in an argument."

"But he's not a bad person to be around...and there's nothing with more people that can fight and run good!" Tanjiro explained, as Snake looked at him with one question.

"Who else would you send home?"

"...Oh."

"I don't want to do this as much as you do, but someone has to go."

Tanjiro was actually thinking of someone, as Solid Snake was wondering who the second and third person voted off today would be, but there was another bunch of people that had a much better strategy.

Riley, Catalina, Muscle Man and Tanya may not look like an alliance, but they were definitely one for this next move...even if the former three were actually doing something else.

"I agree with Tanjiro, someone does have to go and aside from Legoshi and Kasumi, who else today would you think should be sent home?" Tanya asked, as there was more than a few eyeballs that were staring at her. "Come on, give me your best answer!"

"Pretty sure it's you, though." Tanjiro just out and said it, surprising a lot of the contestants here. "I mean, you're a mean girl and you don't really help out a lot."

"Elaborate please."

"I never see you around even when in the challenges...that's it."

Tanya just looked at him rather unseriously, as Tanjiro looked plain embarrassed at his very short explaination with a few others actually noticing the one thing that was apparent.

There was definitely some shots that were being thrown around, no thanks to his words.

"To be fair, I did not do that much. You know what is a threat? Tails, practically top 5 in this game from my analysis." Tanya suggested. "...Tifa, who probably could punch the moon. Someone needs actually needs to decide."

"Come on, these guys are probably going to vote anyways, you're only putting an target on yourself." Tails told her, clearly having someone in mind.

"Oh, okay, there's only two more spots to vote someone off." Tanya said. "I'm just putting some suggestions out there."

"...Yeah, that's fair." Tails remarked, as Tifa was a little bit miffed and Tiana was wondering on one thing.

"Anyways, what do you think we're gonna do?" Tiana asked. "Some people have gotta go home and some people aren't really good at this game."

"Yeah...it's not going to be nice and simple. And it'll probably never be." Tails said, somehow right next to the restaurant owner. "That's the cost of making a show like this."

"...Can't believe that we're still here. Thought I was gonna be out way earlier." Tiana remarked, since she wasn't mad about being here.

"Gotta say that you're doing pretty good. Probably won't be out for a short while." Tifa remarked, as the voting discussion was far from dying down. "...Tanya had a point."

"I don't think she did. She just got people mad!" Sokka was starting to yell, startling the other three that was on the opposite side of his table. "Never mind."

*Cassie's confessional*

The soldier had a few things to say.

"I was not born yesterday, nevermind born in a world without enough content to be prepared for any Total Drama season and her randomly suggesting people to send home isn't exactly random. Don't exactly know if she's an alliance or not." Cassie said. "But she really isn't here to have fun."

*Sokka's confessional*

Sokka was relatively not so mad.

"I was thinking about what she said and she was kinda right. We do have to vote off people and someone has to be the best option...Shego's mean, Smee's really funny when he's not on my team and some other people kinda suck!" Sokka shouted. "Man, there's too many good choices."

*Confessional cut*


Speaking of good choices, the alliance that was technically a crew finally reunited in a private space was the beginning of the Drama Berets after doing a shocking elimination.

"Hey, how do I know that you won't be eliminated?" Riley asked. "You did some stupid shit on that table."

"Because I don't really stand out all that much." Tanya explained, as the other alliance members stood up in confusion. "No, seriously."

"Gonna be real with you, you're annoying as shit." Riley said. "And I forgot about you sometimes!"

"...That's a yes." Tanya remarked, clearly in the mood to do the scoop. "So, what are you voting for?"

"Bruh, it's not going to be you, I promise! It's going to be Aisling girl, 'cause she is definiely wildin'!" Riley shouted. "Also, she gotta be a witch, that bitch!"

"Yeah, she was about to get poisoned by that pepperoni, but she just ate it and it was not poisoned. She has to be a bitch!" Catalina shouted.

"Bro, there ain't no real disease!" Muscle Man said. "Still gonna vote for her, 'cause she is really annoying."

Riley and Catalina were in agree on one thing...which was not relevant to the conversation.

"Shut up, hoe, I decided to vote for that bitch first!" Riley declared.

"Where is your grandfather to slap your ass-you know, I'll slap your ass!"

Muscle Man just the two of them actually fighting...until they actuallly started to do some moves, all of which Tanya did not approve of at all, and now, Riley was making many hits on Catalina and Muscle Man was...very much not bored.

"Bro, Catalina, you suck at fighting!" Muscle Man shouted.

"Shut up, you want to fight too." Catalina was blocked a lot of Riley's attacks.

"Nah, we gotta strategize first." Muscle Man said. "You ain't ready for that-"

"Mitch, you're going down too!" Catalina then got smashed down to the ground.

"STAND DOWN BECAUSE I DO NOT STAND UP FOR THIS BULLSHIT!" Tanya got the three other players to stop. "WE VOTE FOR AISLING OR YOU WILL BE OUT!"

The weird thing that she wasn't particularly loud, but she was genuinely commanding to the other members and also managed to attract someone that was pulling another someone along.

"Geez, I'm sorry that I'm fighting a crazy lady. I ain't changing my vote." Riley told her.

"That's not really what I'm talking about. I'm talking about being better people, even in this world of chaos called a reality show." Tanya remarked. "Anyways, I think I might have brung some people."

"Bro, you want to make the alliance bigger?" Muscle Man asked.

"Well, I didn't intend to."

Of course, it brung the two who were ladies in two very different calibers, one of them being a supervillain's sidekick (who is currently in at least two fanfics) and the other a jujutsu sorcerer with dreams of having the drip to...do something.

"Goddamn it, I'm going to kill whoever shouted at me!" Shego was ready to shoot.

"Then you're going to try and kill me." Tanya declared without a hint of hesitation.

Shego just grinned, as Kugisaki Nobara was ready to put down the hammer, not caring that much about the alliance thing...as Shego stopped her for the obvious reason.

The one thing.

"So, I heard you want the white girl from the wild out?" Shego asked.

"Uh, we didn't say that shit. 'cause-" Riley wanted to say.

"Cool, we're gonna join you." Shego stated, as Nobara was just looking at her like she was crazy. "Seriously, pretty sure if you tell, you're gonna be dead!"

"Nope, I won't tell! I'm keeping things strategic 'cause most of these guys are annoying." Nobara told them. "Not that many, though."

"Uh, this team's cool, don't know why you're a hater." Riley just had to say it.

And now the Drama Berets were a squad that all went down to vote one white-skinned girl and maybe someone else that some of the members were voting for, but it was still a total toss-up.

*Tanya's confessional*

"I can't believe I said that while the whole team was listening and at the very least, Legoshi's practically going home, Kasumi will join him and Aisling will also go down. Hopefully, Ryuko goes because she's powerful, insubordinate and meshes with a lot of people...but I don't hope."

*Confessional cut*


In much funnier news, Coachman and Nicole were-

-no, that's it, as Nicole's sound judgement kicked him in the gut.

-they were in the middle of the secondary toilet that was neither a confessional nor visible to most people, but besides the kick, there was one thing.

"Please tell me you're going to vote out that annoying child? Or help me do that." Coachman requested. "He is really annoying and I apparently heard that he's part of an alliance."

"Thanks? Why are you here with me, specifically...you're only the most suspicious guy here after all!" Nicole said with some suspicion.

"Hehehe, I just want someone voted out to prove that I'm not washed up."

"I was going to vote him, anyways, so what sense would that make?"

Nicole just wanted to jump off and The Coachman had someone else's fate sealed and yet, no-one was apparently respectful to him, Azula and Nicole being only one of a many to just mock his lack of success.

"And then-"

"Bye!" Nicole actually jumped.

Mostly because he had his butt handed to him by the triple threat of Dante, Basil and Muscle Man's still playing the game strong and a bit too many survived eliminations that mostly stopped people from eliminating him.

Also, the over the top villainy that practically carried him throughout the whole game didn't exactly help in that department, but now he's messing with the other team.

Yeah, that's it.

Also, Lowain and Yumeko were actually inside the unused toilet that had one thing in mind and it was practically an obvious question.

"Wait, they really do have no toilets!" Lowain remarked.

"Yeah, this place is quite private." Yumeko said. "Soundproof, too."

"...Really, though. It's a toilet, my pooping is not that loud."

There was a moment of awkward silence on the next thing to say, the gambling girl intrigued and the furry cook regretting his own words instantly, as the private toilet room was there.

"I would bet, but..."

Lowain was a bit freaked out.

"...there isn't a toilet." Yumeko was struggling to not vomit.

"Hahahaha." Lowain practically fake-laughed, as the obvious thing come up. "Am I getting pranked strategically or is this for real?"

"Both, because it's a both a strategic move and it is fun to hang out with people who isn't thinking of strategy all of the time." Yumeko explained. "Also, I have poker. Winner gets to vote whoever they want?"

"Weird reward, but okay." Lowain remarked. "So, I want to vote for Luigi, 'cause he stopped doing stuff...I think, can't tell and he's not a real homie."

Yumeko was silent for a second.

"How about that Legoshi guy? He did mess really up hard in that challenge." Yumeko was still shuffling cards.

*Yumeko's confessional*

The gambling girl was genuinely excited.

"The wonders of poker being used to solve situations that don't need poker is amazing! I wonder how this game of poker will go, because I have been short of gambles this week!"

*Confessional cut*

Yumeko looked down at her cards that were just bit weaker than Lowain's whole hand, as he used his eyes and ears to figure out the deal.

"Aw yeah, it's not Luigi time! Just want him to be happy!" Lowain stated.

"That's not a bad motive for wanting someone out. Also, he's probably going to get the most votes-"

"Knew it!" Lowain didn't really cut her off, just instantly responded to her.


Twelve people got votes and a third of them were confused, a third of them wasn't surprised and a third of them was trying to get this elimination over and done with.

Chris had a bunch of marshmallows, the fire was turned on, the wood was set and the tension was already set with the people that only got votes eliminated

"Listen up, you twelve campers! You guys have not only lost the challenge, but also a member already, so only three of you will be joining Kasumi on the Sling-Yacht of Shame!"

There was definitely surrprises in here, despite them being very controversial to their teammates.

Legoshi was practically doomed from his game's performance, Aisling didn't know what a pepperoni was and Scott Pilgrim apparently had some secret info that required a bit of divulging.

"Seriously, dude, some of you messed up really bad! Hahaha, but the first bunch only have one vote to their name!"

Snake wasn't really surprised to be up in this stand.

"And the one vote people are..."

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"...Tiana..."

Tiana was plainly relieved.

"...Cassie..."

Cassie just caught it.

"...Ryuko..."

Ryuko was just giving a bit of a side-eye.

"...Scott Pilgrim..."

Scott genuinely didn't know why he only get one vote, eating the marshmallow all bemused.

"...and Kyo!"

"I wish I knew who the niggas that voted for me were, so that they can stop their bullshit!" Riley complained, as Kyo just ate the marshmellow.

"You just hate them because you sucked." Kyo smugly remarked.

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"And there's two people that have two votes..."

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Riley was starting to get mad about these votes.

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Luigi's teeth were chittering.

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Legoshi was sad and looked like he had been beaten down.

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Aisling was also starting to get mad.

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Snake wasn't that surprised at the number of votes.

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Heavy wasn't really in the mood.

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And finally, Samus, who was deep into her anger arc, got even deeper into it.

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"...Samus and Heavy are safe and still in the game with two votes!"

Samus and Heavy just took it and ate it like it was nothing, which wasn't too far from the truth.

"...it's a weird moment for Snake fans in the audience!"

Snake was starting to think of ways how he could have messed up.

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"Nah, fuck that, who's safe?" Riley asked.

"You don't want to ask that." Snake stated.

"For the record, Kasumi still voted! Snake isn't voted off, though, also with two votes!"

Snake wiped the sweat off his own brow.

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"Legoshi, you got spooked by an earthquake and have sucked in recent challenges..."

Legoshi just shrugged.

"Aisling, you ate a pepperoni, got mad three times and you end up as a witch..."

"I'm a fae, it's a bit different! And I like the trees, so shut up!"

"...Riley, you're an annoying kid according to a lot of your teammates and also, you swear a lot, so our censors have to work harder!"

"Those niggas are snitches and they still lie!"

"...and finally, Luigi, you did something. I don't exactly know what you did, but it must have been bad!"

"Yeah, what did I do?!" Luigi shouted. "Must be some alliance stuff."

"Bruh, you talking crazy." Riley instantly replied.

"And the first one eliminated is..."

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"...Legoshi with 7 votes, I'm not surprised."

"I'm not surprised! I wasn't exactly spooked because of the earthsquake, I swear there was a guy that told me something!" Legoshi spoke.

"Cool and the second player to be eliminated was..."

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"...Aisling also with 6 votes, kinda surprised!"

"Why go for me! There's bigger villains and stupider people, including one kid that is standing right beside me!" Aisling yelled. "I'm sorry, Brendan and Piccolo-man, but I am out of this island! With a good forest and the worst people ever! Some of them from this place, though, are okay."

"That was a whole speech already! And the last safe contestant is..."

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Riley was starting to have a smile, as Luigi was infuriated at the lack of reason for the elimination, not considering the fact that eliminating four different people was really hard.

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"...Riley with three has less than Luigi's four votes! Sorry, Luigi, I guess the forces of the Total Drama don't account for your jump!"

"What moves did I-a make? Did something happen to get that happen, because there's no way that this wouldn't happen without an alliance." Luigi demanded quietly.

"Bruh, you got screwed by an alliance, damn! That sucks for you, but I'm about to get my money up!" Riley bragged.

"I was friend with a ton of these guys! I really went pretty far in this game, so I won't be fooled!"

"Uh...can't talk, right, safe from that boat!" Riley just ran out of the situation.

"Luigi, Legoshi and Aisling, the three of you are about to have a wild ride on the Sling-Yacht! With Kasumi taking the front seat!"


Chris was just hanging out on the Dock of Shame with the four eliminated contestants, who were either outraged at their sudden elimination or were accepted of their questionable performance...with Chris taking the time to wait for Chef.

Chef had a way to push the eliminat-ees to the dock, besides one.

"I swear to all that safe that Coachman actually gets what he really does deserve!" Kasumi shouted. "And I think he said something to Coachman!"

"Yeah, that was the guy! Oh my god, when he gets onto the island, I-"

The boat was going real fast and so, another episode was over.

"Audience guys, some episodes aren't dramatic, but this one had some total drama action to boot and a lot of old faces to boost the ratings quite a bit, keep your eyes open for more of...TOTAL DRAMA: ULTIMATE ISLANDS!"


To be continued in Episode 21...where them giants be stepping onto Pahkitew for some ratings and because they really liked the show!

Kasumi Todoh is one of those people who I both really like and have no idea what to do after this and hey, finally the pre-intro guy segement says something true!

Legoshi's quite literally only one mistake from elimination and he did that mistake that was (suspicious) quite detrimental to his game, not even being able to deal with Coachman.

Aisling may be very powerful and very friendly to the animals, but when you're kinda scary, mad and aren't really social with the rest of the cast, you tend to get a target.

Luigi's literally eliminated 'cause I couldn't find a plot to properly work with getting over his fear of not having Daisy without cutting a few characters that would be cool to the story. Sorry, Luigi fans, he ain't that guy.

Totally not because Reiner was forced to do it and some other people just happened to join in to fight him in an unfamiliar island!

Well, person, so expect some wildness with the 52 campers somehow having a way to keep themselves in check, especially with two powerful alliances in the game...or two and a half.

Azula's playing the mostly honest game, because sometimes, all you have to do is win and your vote will mostly swing your way, especially when your allies are a little bit annoying and mostly friendly.

Coachman's trying to be the villain that everyone doesn't think he is and that's actually kinda interesting because of reasons that I can't elaborate on.