Hi! Welcome to my first Ron/Hermione fic! It is rated M because of language and dark themes in later chapters, warnings will come when the time comes. I'm really excited for this, later chapters/concepts will be based on Almost Everything I Wish I'd Said by hey-torch, whose account has since been deleted. For now the first few chapters will be spent establishing where both Ron and Hermione stand.

Enjoy! Please review!


Ron was hiding. Sure, your own bed probably isn't the most brilliant place to do such a thing, but it sure beat the common room. He would've been found in minutes.

Harry's nearby, laying atop his own bed, no doubt pouring over Maurders Map, watching Malfoy.

Besides the chosen ones self assigned task of watching every move the Slytherin makes, it's quiet.

It has been for a while.

There's an obvious divide between the three of them at the moment, or more so, Ron and Hermione. Harry has been forced into the middle of this, so whenever he isn't obsessing over Draco, he usually sits idly, unsure what to say.

Ron knows it's all his fault. Lavender kissed him, sure, but he wasn't exactly fighting her off. Then before he knew it, she was dragging him up to the astronomy tower, and again, he wasn't resisting these advances. When they reached their destination he found Harry and Hermione on the steps. Her head propped on his shoulder as sobs wracked her body.

At the sight of him, she stood. She held her head high and demanded he left. So he did.

And for a fleeting moment the look of pain that found it's way down her face felt good. A swell of pride bubbling deep within him to know that his affections to another girl caused it

To know there was a sliver of hope that maybe, just maybe, she loved him back.

However, the feeling was short lived because when he shut that door, he hadn't bargained he was closing himself off to them. To her.

And he's a complete idiot.

He woke up the next morning, intending to apologize, despite not even fully understanding what he did. But he was stopped. Lavender had walked up and planted a wet one right on him, calling him some dumb pet name, and claiming him her boyfriend.

He just froze.

Snogging her wasn't bad. At least at first.

Eventually, it got harder and harder to imagine Lavender was someone else. Not to mention, the look of pain never left Hermione's face whenever she saw him. It hadn't been worth it.

So he tried to fix it, he really tried.

"Lavender look I," he began one morning after she insisted he walk her to breakfast.

"Silly Won-Won! We can't go snog in the astronomy tower right now, people have class!" She giggled.

There were a lot more attempts on his end and he could've tried harder, but Lavender made it near impossible.

Just yesterday,

"Lavender, I've been meaning to tell you something, you know Christmas is coming up," and I'd hate to ruin your holiday but I just don't think I can see you when we come back to school.

He never got to finished, "oh! I wish I could come to your house for the holidays! You're so sweet to ask, but Mum and Dad have already made arrangements for us to travel! I promise you Easter." And she kissed him.

He better have gotten his shit together by Easter.

"Alright over there?" Harry broke his thoughts.

"Fine." He grunted shifting atop his sheets.

Harry shrugged, Ron wasn't sure if he was going to say more, and merlin he wanted him to. To talk about this all, to maybe even hear about Hermione, how she was.

But Neville came in.

"Harry!" He sounded winded like he'd run up here.

"You okay mate?" The dark haired boy asked, getting up from his bed as Ron did the same.

He huffs some air, "I'm fine, it's not me, it's," his eyes flick momentarily to Ron's, "it's Hermione, I didn't know who else to get." He rambles.

Me. Ron thinks bitterly.

Ron, who got her off that chess board once he'd woken up first year.

Ron ,who sat at her bedside every night when she was petrified.

Ron, who made sure she was still eating during Buckbeak's case.

Ron, who held her after Cedric Diggory had died.

Ron, who helped her recover from the Department of Mysteries over the summer.

Neville should've come and gotten me!

In the back of his head he always feared Harry and Hermione would become more than friends. He just never thought it'd be his doing.

However, he quickly pushes the thought down, because soon the incessant fear that Hermione could possibly be injured is at the forefront of his mind.

"Is she alright? Is she hurt?" Ron asked flustered.

Neville lamely shook his head, he didn't seem very sure of it himself, "I dunno, I don't think so, I just found her, she's a mess. She wouldn't talk to me."

Harry threw down Maurders Map for the first time in weeks and began to charge from the room.

"Let's go Neville, take me to her." His voice was shaky, he needed to get the point across that Ron was not to come, well without saying as much.

And it's not that he didn't think Ron couldn't help or that he didn't care, Harry is just worried whatever Hermione's got going on may have to do with him.

Since that day of the match, in the stairwell, Harry hadn't seen her cry again, at least not in front of him.

One morning, a few days after the incident, Harry was up watching Malfoy move about the castle. Though not on the map, Draco was moving to where Harry knew the Room of Requirement was. Not caring that it was nearing four in the morning, he threw back the covers and made a run for it.

Until something stopped him.

Peering at the map, he noticed another name out of place, Hermione Granger.

Prefect, bookworm, brightest witch of her age, Hermione Granger, was in the common room after curfew.

Worrying something may be wrong, he took a detour through the portrait hole.

There, he found a mass of wild curls splayed all over the velvet couch. And she must've heard the portrait click close making her jump awake.

And upon talking to her, it turns out since the day of the match, Hermione had taken to sleeping on the common room couch rather then her dorm.

Lavender had always been rude to Hermione. Snide comments here snd there on her looks, but it only got worse after she started dating Ron.

"No wonder my Won-Won didn't want her, look at that hair!" She'd say loudly to Parvati as the brunette got ready one morning.

"Hermione Stranger! Isn't that just brilliant! Surprised you haven't thought of it yourself." Lavender tutted proudly before bed a few weeks ago.

And that was fine, Hermione could take it, but what she couldn't take were the ungodly amount of details the blonde spilt rather loudly every single night.

"And then he did this thing with his hands, oh his hands! Parvati have you ever noticed how big they are?" She gushed.

Hermione casted a silencing charm both to drown out her sobs and Lavender's shrill voice.

"We did it!" She announced proudly one evening.

"Did what?" Parvati questioned scandalized.

"It! Oh it was wonderful! He was so amazing. Parvati, I think I'm falling in love!"

After that, she only returned to the room to grab some clothes. Hermione couldn't even bare dressing in there, instead she'd taken up to the Prefect's bathroom.

And maybe this wouldn't be the case if Hermione knew everything Lavender was spewing was complete lie. That whenever she and Ron were together it was only ever just snogging or him running off.

But how would she even know that? It's not like they talked. Not anymore.

Harry was halfway across the room before he noticed Ron following, "Ron..." he trailed regretfully.

He sighed, "please Harry, what if," he can't get the words out, "just in case, please?" The ginger begged.

His best friends stepped closer to him, voice dropping so Neville couldn't hear, "look, I just don't think it's the best thing. I swear to you Ron, if it's bad, if she's got so much as a splinter, I'll have Neville come get you." Harry pleads.

Defeated and hurt, Ron watches the pair hurry off to the staircase.

And if he didn't know he messed up before, he sure knew now.

...

Neville and Harry were rushing down the corridor when a strong grip had pulled back on the formers robes.

"Where are you going? What's wrong?" Ginny had asked them, voice sounding a little terrified.

"It's Hermione," Neville couldn't even finish before the red head interrupted.

"I'm coming." She claimed.

"No, Ginny," Harry told her.

"No, this is Hermione. She's my best friend too you know! Even if it just about my git of a brother, sometimes all you need is another girl. Not some daft idiots who stare at maps all day or date bimbos!" She answered haughtily, a little red in the face.

Harry opened his mouth clearly to protest again.

"Please Harry." It was the third time she'd cut off anyone from speaking.

He sighed in defeat, "look, you go up and make sure Ron doesn't follow. Once Neville brings me to Hermione, he'll come get you."

"Oh and Ron needs a babysitter now?" she raised one eyebrow.

"Well it very well looked like he was ready to curse me when I told him to stay put,"

"Or me!" Neville added.

"Or Neville. Either that or he's gonna come follow, I left the map open on my bed. Just go please. I promise Neville will come back for you and he'll stay with Ron, right mate?"

The Gryffindor gulped. He'd seen Ron angry, but when it had to do with Hermione it could only be described as next level.

"Right." His voice came out a little shaky.

Ginny rolled her eyes, "don't just stand there then! Hurry up!" She scolded, the girl turned and made her way to the boys dorms as the pair scurried in the other direction.

"Where is she anyway?" Harry breathed as they ran through the castle.

"A closet, a potions closet, I think? I heard her when I was walking back from the greenhouse." Neville took a quick turn, "over here!" He hollered.

He stopped in front of the wooden thing, tentatively knocking on it. As Harry ventured closer he could hear the muffled cries.

"Hermione, I've brought Harry, he's going to come in."

No response.

Neville looked worriedly to the Boy-Who-Lived, "it'll be fine Neville. Just get Ginny and stay with Ron please?"

The other boy nodded and ran back to Gryffindor tower.

Harry on the other hand, pushed open the door, finding Hermione as a crumpled piles of robes against a shelf with empty vials. In her hand, he notices a disheveled looking piece of parchment atop some black covered book she'd been reading for weeks.

"Hermione." He calls out tentatively.

Her glassy eyes meet his and she seems to break down all over again, "oh Harry," she moans, "it's terrible! Just terrible."

He slides his way against the shelf and awkwardly places an arm around her, to which she burrows into instantly.

"What is?" He asks softly.

"It's my grandma, my parents have written me, she's fallen very ill, they think she going to," she chokes on the words, "to die!" The witch exclaims sadly.

Harry squeezes her a little tighter. He recalls Hermione mentioning a few times how close she was to her grandmother.

Of course, Ron knew that besides her parents, Hermione's grandmother was the only one who knew she was a witch. She'd confided in the red haired boy that before Hogwarts she had no friends so she'd stay summers with her grandma at her house in the French countryside, but hadn't been since she started doing holidays at The Burrow.

"I'm sorry Hermione. I'm so sorry." With a war raging, he often forgets that people are still suffering in other ways.

"They're traveling to France now, up to her house. She insisted on being comfortable if it happened. My parents, they don't want me to come. To remember her like that." She took a staggering breath, "they don't know I'm not speaking to," she can't get his name out, "I haven't told them I won't be going to the Burrow for holiday and I can't do that to them. Not now."

Her body starts to shake with cries all over again, nothing but heaves expelling from the brunettes mouth.

"Can I read it?" Harry asks after she's calmed a bit.

Hermione simply nods, moving the letter she had been grasping into his awaiting hand.

Everything she was saying had been confirmed on the parchment. Harry even shuttered a little at the last line.

We'll write when we arrive. We love you, please do try and have a lovely holiday with the Weasley's. Don't be too sad.

"I'll just stay here. I can't go." Hermione said groggily, clearly have noticing Harry cringing beside her.

"Can't go where?" Ginny's voice breaks from the doorway


First one done! Stay tuned, next chapter Ginny and Ron finally talk and the truth comes out.

Please review!