Disclaimer: I own nothing; it all belongs to J.K.Rowling. I'm just borrowing the characters to play with for a while. This is for pleasure only, no profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended.


WORLD #333 – The One with No Excuse

A.K. recognized Number Four Privet Drive immediately. While never really a good sign, it wasn't necessarily a bad one either. He snuck his way quietly into the house. He double-checked the cupboard under the stairs out of habit, though he could tell there wasn't anyone in there.

When he got to the littlest bedroom, better known as Dudley's former second bedroom, he pressed his ear up to the door. Only a soft breeze and the sound of sleeping could be heard, so he cast a silencing charm and made his way on in. Harry's bed had been magically enlarged to a respectable looking Queen size, and he saw a pair of pale feet sticking out from under the massive fluffy looking comforter.

A.K. thought there seemed to be a few more lumps than normal, and as he looked around the room he saw not one, but two magical trunks. A.K. bent down to take a peek in them and in the first found his old Invisibility cloak, some Gryffindor robes, and the Marauder's Map. All perfectly normal things that brought A.K. comfort to see. Then he looked into the second trunk and found a bottle of hair gel. This was certainly different. It was when he pulled out another school robe, but this time with the emblem of Slytherin on it, that A.K. stumbled backwards in surprise.

"Wha-" A muffled voice called out from under the comforter. "What's going on?" Harry's head came peeking out from the covers. Only it was the bottom of the covers right next to the pale feet that now appeared to not belong to Harry.

A blonde head popped out from the top of the covers, slowly waking up as well. "Yes, love? Something the matter?"

Harry cracked open an eye to see the sheer disgust and horror on the face of the strange man in his room. He closed his eyes again, wondering if he could go back to sleep. Harry tiredly asked, "Who are you?"

"Avada Kedavra!" A.K. called out hitting the sleepy, young Malfoy scion in the face.

"Avada Kedavra?" the exhausted Harry said as he tenderly rubbed his lover's feet. "That's a pretty silly name," he explained with his wrist bent lazily. "How's aboots I call you A.K. instead?"

"Avada Kedavra!" A.K. insisted aiming towards Harry, who just happened to sit up at the right moment and missed being hit by only millimeters.

"Fine, fine, no nicknames. Got it." Harry said as he leaned backward towards Draco, tiredly wiping the crust from his eyes. He was showing a fair amount of asscrack through the top of his pajama pants. "Drakey Poo? Why isn't my Silver Serpent ticklish anymore?"

A.K. stepped forward and made sure not to miss this time. "Avada Kedavra!"

And just like that Harry Potter was dead.

A.K. just shook his head in disappointment. "How many of these goddamn worlds are there?"

While A.K. wasn't homosexual, and therefore didn't have the best judgment when it comes to attractive males, he still had to admit he could probably do better than Ron. Maybe someone like Oliver or even Seamus. Hell, Bill or Charlie might swing that way. But it doesn't matter what twisted justification a Harry makes. There's no excuse for Malfoy. Or Snape. Ever. Ever ever.

A.K. frowned looking at Harry's surprisingly fit and toned dead body next to the sickly pale ferrety thing. He just shrugged and was whistling a merry tune as he popped away from Privet Drive.

Just a few days later, A.K. was looking down at the terribly easy to kill Voldemort. Even Tom was bleeding pink. A.K. screamed out loud, not expecting an answer, "Is everyone in this entire world a gay male? Is that even possible?"

"Certainly seems that way," Ginny popped out of nowhere and answered in a surprisingly deep voice. "Merlin knows, I've tried." She looked A.K. up and down, weighing his worth. Before smirking and staring at him with her sultry broom cupboard eyes, "What about you?"

A.K. snorted loudly. "Keep trying, Gin-gin." And with a couple of flickers, A.K. was gone again.


WORLD #381 – The One with a Harem

When A.K. appeared, he didn't move. He didn't shift into attack mode. He didn't ask for help or directions. He just stared with no emotion at all showing on his face. Staring back at him was a smiling, content looking Harry Potter. Flanked on either side of him, both with their wands aimed at the intruder and deadly serious, protective looks on their faces were Padma and Parvati Patil. A.K. wasn't sure which was which, as the birthmark on Padma's upper inner thigh was currently hidden by bubble bath suds. And A.K. was the first to admit, he was completely unable to tell their voluptuous, heaving breasts apart.

A.K. just stared at Harry's relatively unconcerned smile, while keeping his peripheral vision on the naked twins in the tub with Harry.

All four of them made no movement to say anything, attack, or relax for well over a minute.

The tension was finally broken when Hermione's head popped up out of the tub, and whipped bubbles and water all around as she shook her hair out of her face. She hadn't noticed A.K. behind her yet, and explained, "Alright. They're plenty good and clean now." She was picking at her teeth with her tongue. "But I could really use some floss."

Hermione saw the twins' attention focused behind her and turned around. She raised an eyebrow at the strange man who seemed unashamed to be staring at her wet dripping body as she stood up in the tub. "How you doing?" she asked curiously.

This apparently broke A.K.'s concentration and he started chuckling happily.

The Patil twins relaxed a bit but kept their wand arms up and ready.

After taking a moment to compose himself, A.K. smirked. "I'm doing pretty good, Hermione."

Any further conversation was interrupted as a harried looking Daphne Greengrass walked in the door and unceremoniously dropped her book bag on the floor. "Merlin, I thought Professor Sinistra wouldn't ever let us out of there." She hadn't noticed who else was in the room and quickly lifted her Hogwarts robes over her head revealing her skimpy sheer green bra and panties. She saw Hermione sitting up, smiling at her, and suddenly took notice of the stranger in the room. She didn't look embarrassed just inquisitive. "Hello."

A.K. smiled happily at her and nodded his head in greeting. "Hi."

She walked over to the tub and jumped in. She smiled at A.K. and quietly asked her tub mates, "Who's that?"

One of the Patils shook her head and said, "We've not yet been introduced. He just… appeared."

"Well," Daphne assured her as she leant back and got all of her hair wet. "I'm sure Hermione is itching to remind us that you cannot apparate in Hogwarts." She closed her eyes and stuck her nose up improperly, nasally imitating the bookworm, "It says so in Hogwarts: A History."

Hermione reached over and snapped Daphne's bra. "I don't sound anything like that!"

"Actually," Harry grinned mischievously. "It was a pretty fair imitation."

"Harry," Hermione snarled playfully.

"It was definitely one of her better impressions," a Patil concurred.

The other Patil added, "Though Hermione always tries to stick her chest out more when she does it," She straightened up and inhaled deeply. "Like this."

"You bitches are horrible!" Hermione moaned as she was outnumbered.

"Oh no," another voice jumped in as she entered the room. "Did Hermione already quote Hogwarts: A History?"

"Susan!" Hermione grumbled. "You're supposed to be on my side."

Susan Bones' robe fell to the ground leaving her soft curvy body completely naked, as she too hopped into the tub. "You've got reason and logic on your side. You don't need me."

Hermione just huffed petulantly and crossed her arms pushing her breasts up again.

A.K. just stood there watching the smile on Harry's face grow with every girl joining him in the tub. No one seemed to be minding him too much.

Next came in Luna who was arguing with an older, extremely attractive blonde who immediately caught A.K.'s eye.

"Narcissa Malfoy?" A.K. said in surprise.

The older woman turned to the newcomer while Luna stripped out of her clothes and put water wings on her arms. Narcissa sneered at A.K. "It's Narcissa Black, for your information. And just who might you be?"

"Hi! It's good to see you." Luna cheerfully welcomed before A.K. could reply. She squeezed A.K.'s arm in greeting before taking a running start and doing a cannonball into the hot tub sloshing suds all around, and giving A.K. enough time to realize Padma was the one on Harry's right.

Narcissa began tastefully removing her many layers of prim and proper robes. She asked Luna, "You know this man?"

Luna resurfaced in the middle of the tub with a smile. "Never seen him before in my life."

"Why is he here?" Narcissa asked as she was down to her modest knickers by now. "Who is this, Harry?"

Harry smiled and shook his head as he wrapped an arm around Susan and Daphne. "Not too sure yet. He just appeared in here a few minutes ago."

Narcissa was by now completely naked and had joined Hermione, Parvati, Padma, Harry, Luna, Susan, and Daphne in the magically expanding tub. She had Harry's feet in her hands and began massaging them. "Do you have a name, stranger?" She asked without even looking at A.K.

"Aye," A.K. assured her. "I most definitely do."

"What a coincidence," Luna jumped in overly excited by A.K.'s response. "I do too! Mine's Luna. What's yours?"

A.K. snickered. "Mine's Harry. But you can call me A.K. since there's already another Harry in here."

"Nice to meet you, A.K.," Harry responded. "Mind if I ask how you got in here?"

A.K. shook his head watching all the girls taking turns rubbing parts of Harry. "Nope. For you Harry, I don't mind a bit."

Harry nodded. "Good to know. I won't ask right now, but probably sometime soon."

Hermione huffed in frustration, knowing Harry did that most likely to annoy her personally.

"Mind if I ask you a question, Harry?" A.K. inquired while Luna seemed to be disappearing underwater.

"Nope, I don't mind." Harry assured him. "But we'll have to see whether I answer it."

A.K. nodded. "Are you… dating, involved, betrothed, or anything similar to any of these beautiful young women?" He smirked and hastily added. "And Malfoy's mum too."

Narcissa snapped a frown in his direction real quick.

Harry chuckled. "Yes, I must admit, I do have something of a harem going on here."

"How'd that happen?" A.K. inquired.

"Well," Harry began looking off in the distance trying to remember it all. "I suppose it all started on my seventeenth birthday. I was called to Gringotts for a meeting about inheritances and other duties. Turns out, there were a few marriage contracts I was unaware of."

"Ahh," A.K. said as comprehension dawned on him.

"Yup," Harry nodded. "About a year before I was born my dad had been captured by Death Eaters. He was locked in a cell with Arthur Bones. They pledged to help each other break out and struck some sort of deal that left me and Susan betrothed. Arthur got out, but my dad got captured again. Then he was placed in a cell with Arthur Greengrass."

"Oh dear," A.K. whispered with wide eyes.

"Exactly." Harry assured him while the girls all smiled mischievously. "Next thing you know, escape attempt all botched, Arthur managed to make it, and my dad took a stunner to the butt. And when a daughter and a son were born another marriage contract became official. Next from what I gather, my dad woke up in a cell with Arthur Patil."

A.K. just snickered now.

Harry smiled. "Now, my dad apparently had some experience at striking ridiculous deals he didn't expect to pan out. So, in his infinite wisdom, he struck another bargain and made sure multiple wives were acceptable. Apparently some of the legalese on this one was fueled by a teenage male's fantasy."

"You don't say," A.K. agreed looking around shiftily.

"And so I was then engaged to not Padma, the older sibling, but to both Padma and Parvati." Harry explained receiving kisses on the cheek from both Padma and Parvati.

"How… fortuitous." A.K. grinned, loving hearing good news without any painful angst.

Harry raised his hands in defense. "I'm not complaining."

"I should hope not," A.K. assured him. "So how do the rest of these lovely ladies fit into this harem of yours?"

"Well part of my inheritance made me the Head of the Black family," Harry explained. "And on Narcissa's wishes I had her marriage dissolved since her husband was in prison."

A.K. nodded while Narcissa seemed to blush.

Hermione jumped in and smirked at her. "And part of being Lord Black is that he is to take a Black female as a mistress. Of which only Narcissa and Bellatrix were options."

"Not both?" A.K. asked.

Harry smiled and nodded in agreement. "That was my first question too."

Hermione shook her head. "No, not both. And considering Bellatrix is nutters, murdered Sirius, tortured the Longbottoms into insanity, and still has a pair of saggy Azkaban tits…"

A.K. began choking because he immediately understood what she meant by that particular choice of words.

Hermione smirked victoriously.

"And let me guess," A.K. hypothesized. "Hermione's not really muggle-born but descended from a long line of squibs and her being a witch brought another marriage contract into action?"

Harry shook his head. "No. Hermione just came with me to Gringotts to help me out with the bits I didn't understand. Griphook-"

A.K. mumbled and rolled his eyes, "It's always that damn goblin."

Harry ignored him and continued. "Griphook suggested I get someone to organize and be in charge of my affairs and those of my future wives. Hermione, always a fan of organization volunteered immediately and filled out the paperwork for her position right then and there."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "What Griphook failed to mention was that I was signing up to be Harry's first and the mother hen to his henhouse. We discovered this later, but we get along so well, we didn't even bother trying to fight it."

Harry jumped in. "Actually, I should mention after my dad and Mr. Patil tried to escape, Arthur Patil, managed to make it to freedom. While my dad failed spectacularly, knocking himself out running into a wall he thought was like the entrance to Platform Nine and Three Quarters. Turns out, it was just a wall. An impressive feat nonetheless, but after that he woke up in another cell with another person."

"I'm going to go out on a limb here," A.K. grinned. "Was it Arthur Lovegood?"

Luna's head emerged from the water as she stood up proudly. "My dad's name is Arturo, thank you very much." She dropped right back into the tub and fell out of sight.

Harry shook his head. "No, it wasn't Arturo Lovegood. Luna's not betrothed to me."

"Yet," all the other girls echoed happily.

"But it is a possibility," Harry agreed with a roll of his eyes. "She just likes playing with us."

"Okay…" A.K. said slowly and deliberately, realizing Luna was still Luna.

"No," Harry said with a shake of his head. "No, this time my dad woke up with Arthur Weasley."

A.K. snapped his fingers. "Damn! I should've known that one."

Harry nodded, thinking A.K. probably should have. "Anyways, by that point my dad was getting pretty good at making ridiculous promises of betrothal and in the off chance he actually did have a son. But considering the number of deals he'd already made, he figured he should give me some limited freedom. So this time with Mr. Weasley, he negotiated a marriage contract with a fair amount more leeway than the others."

"Really?" A.K. asked. "How's that?"

Harry smiled. "Well, I was given the freedom of alternatives if I found my betrothed unfit or undesirable to be a wife or mother. The way I figure it, dad was worried I'd be marrying a guy knowing the Arthur Weasley's love monkey's natural tendency to spit out Y chromosomes and not Xs. I mean Arthur already had five sons at that point."

"Alternatives?" A.K. asked. Before receiving an answer, they were all interrupted by yet another person walking in, and quickly stripping off her robes revealing her naked body underneath. A.K. gasped and blurted out, "Mrs. Weasley!"

She turned and sneered at A.K. "It's Molly Prewett, for your information. And just who might you be?"

"Wha… but… I mean…" A.K. struggled to decide on just what words a situation like this called for.

Narcissa smirked from the tub. "Oh please. You seemed to accept my presence easily enough. Molly's situation is no different from mine."

A.K. was disgusted to see the logic in that argument, and couldn't bring himself to disagree.

Molly hopped into the tub and nodded. "Draco did take the news much better than Ron did."

"Don't worry," Narcissa assured Molly with a gentle pat on the back. "I'm sure Ron will snap out of his coma real soon."

Molly smiled slightly and nodded before frowning. "I still wish Fred and George would stop calling Harry 'dad.' That's not helping Ginny's therapy any."

A.K. felt a little ill seeing the woman who more often than not was the nearest thing to a mother a Harry Potter got. "Oh… dear."

Harry smiled as he let Molly slip behind him and give him a back rub. "Did that answer your question?"

A.K. just nodded feebly. "Yeah… it did. Umm... thanks."

"Did you have any other questions?" Harry asked with a tilt of his head.

A.K. snapped out of his daze and reexamined all the naked chicks in the tub with Harry. "Actually, I'm curious why Daphne is wearing those green skivvies while the rest of you are the full monty."

Daphne grinned lecherously at A.K. and smirked. "Edible undies. Why? You hungry?"

A.K. smiled right back at her. "Lime?"

Luna's head broke the surface of the water again and she cheered. "Her bra is lime! But her panties are sour apple!" She happily showed off her now bright green tongue.

A.K. briefly contemplated sour tastes in certain areas and just shook his head at Luna's playfulness. "Actually I have another question."

"Alright," Harry replied urging A.K. to continue.

"Voldemort." A.K. said with a dead serious expression and was pleased to see very little flinching. "Neither can live while the other survives."

Immediately Harry tensed up and was put on his guard. "You have some information that you probably shouldn't be privy to."

A.K. shook his head. "Relax Harry. No one on this world ever shared any of that information with me."

Harry stared at A.K. impassively waiting for more explanation.

"You want all of your lovely ladies to hear this conversation?" A.K. asked. "Do they know what I'm talking about?"

Harry shrugged. "I trust them. They can probably figure it out, though only Hermione has heard the exact wording."

"Very well," A.K. explained. "Here's the short answer for you: I'm Harry Potter."

A lot of narrowed, dangerous eyes stared back at A.K.

"Relax," A.K. insisted again. "I'm not here to take any of your wives or to cause your life any more undue problems. As I said, I'm Harry Potter. I learned about dimension traveling, made an oath to defeat Voldemort, and suckered myself into hopping into different worlds fighting other world's Voldemorts. S'why it's easier to call me A.K. and it's why I know the prophecy, assuming the one you got is pretty similar to the one I got. And it's also why I'm here. To help you knock off this world's Voldemort."

Harry tilted his head examining A.K. for several tense moments. "I believe you. It makes sense why I felt I could trust you immediately. As for Voldemort, he's got over a hundred Death Eaters. He kills people just to try and make me feel it through my scar. I suck at Occlumency. And I have no freaking idea how the hell I could possibly defeat him."

A.K. smiled. "Yeah, I get the feeling you're more of a lover than a fighter."

"Mmm-hmm."

"Oh yeah!"

"Uh-huh."

"I'd say so."

"You bet your bottom!"

"Mmm... bottom."

Harry blushed and ducked his head. "Well, before Professor Dumbledore went and told Snape to kill him, he led me to believe the Power He Knew Not was the power of love. So every night here in the Room of Requirement we've been working on my power of love."

"Oh yeah?" A.K. chuckled. "How's it coming?"

"Usually at least six times a night," Luna answered straightforwardly.

A.K. caught on to his poor choice of words and winced. "Thank you Luna. So I take it skull-fucking his nose slits doesn't seem like the right solution for you?"

Daphne huffed and crossed her arms. She whined at Hermione, "See? I told you not to rule it out."

Hermione hissed, "That would not work."

"To be honest," A.K. suggested. "I've yet to see it attempted, so you never know."

Hermione frowned at A.K.

"But yeah," A.K. nodded. "The idea of the power of love from what I can tell was simply Albus' way of ensuring you didn't turn dark. There's no love magic. There is sex magic. And there's magic fueled by emotions, occasionally love. Hell, the Patronus Charm is an example of that. But a special ability or mystical Power of Love is nothing but a crappy Huey Lewis song."

Harry's eyes bulged out and looked at all the naked ladies around him. "Don't tell us that! We've got a good thing going here!"

A.K. rolled his eyes at the first sign of fear or tension on this Harry's face. "How bout I make you a deal?"

Harry raised an eyebrow. "What's that?"

"No, not you," A.K. grinned lecherously. "Your ladies here."

Hermione stood up to speak for the group. "We're listening."

"You keep on doing what you're doing, keeping young Mr. Potter here happy," A.K. suggested. "And I'll go and kill your Voldemort."

"But… the prophecy," Harry worried.

A.K. shook his head. "Can apply to me just fine. Trust me. I've killed enough Voldemorts to know this."

"And?" Hermione asked, putting her hands on her hips, and shifting her weight as her upper body began to dry and from the looks of a healthy pair of things, cool off a bit.

"And…" A.K. tapped his chin in thought wondering what to ask for here. "And you all provide me with a lovely photo album of how good it can be to be Harry Potter."

"Just pictures?" Narcissa asked with a raised eyebrow having expected to be asked for more than that.

"Wizarding pictures preferably," A.K. said. "With interesting movements in them would be nice."

Luna smiled and affectionately yelled, "Pervert!"

A.K. raised his hands and feebly defended himself. "Oh no. Not for me of course." A.K. said as he looked to his left and right briefly, realizing he couldn't claim it was for the articles. "It'd make convincing the whiny, angsty, crying Harrys a whole lot easier. They'd be more cooperative if they can see first hand how good life can be."

"Ahh," Hermione said as she nodded. "Yes, Harry has been known to be quite depressed and moody."

A.K. shook his head in disbelief. "You got no fucking clue how bad some of the Harrys I meet are. It's horrible. I mean I'm practically giddy to find a happy, smiling Harry here. This has made my fucking week." A.K. paused and choked back a tear. "I'd be lying if I didn't say I was mighty proud of him."

Susan smirked and shimmied her ample upper body. "And if it means you must carry around pictures of us doing naughty, lascivious acts, then that must be your burden too?"

"You think I enjoy looking at young buxom naked women doing things to… well another me?" A.K. asked incredulously.

"I should hope so," Harry insisted with a smile.

A.K. grinned widely as he hungrily eyed all the girls. "You bet your damn ass I do. You guys work on that album. I've got a Dark Lord to kill." And without a sound A.K. disappeared. There was some discussion that he was invisible and watching them, but none of Harry's girls seemed to mind if he was.


Three nights later, A.K. flickered into the Room of Requirement and found Harry and Hermione once again relaxing naked in the tub.

Harry smiled at A.K.'s appearance. "You said you wouldn't mind, so now I'm asking. How'd you get in here?"

A.K. grinned at the sight of a happy Harry. A naked Hermione might have added to A.K.'s smile. "It's the same magic I use to travel dimensions, and no, I won't tell you how as it opens up cans of worms that you are much better off not knowing about. My destination is the same world, at the same time, but instead of a place it's you, Harry, in particular. And the big trick to it is that it is extremely hard to ward against traveling outside of time. Very useful, as with people, I'm unsure if you're in a place warded against apparition or portkeys or who knows what else."

"That makes sense," Harry nodded and turned to Hermione. "Though refusing to tell Hermione how to do it may have made you an enemy for life."

Hermione didn't disagree. "So how goes the Voldemort hunting?"

A.K. scoffed and waved her off. "I wouldn't be here if he weren't already dead."

Hermione snapped her head up in disbelief. "What?"

"Hermy darling," A.K. grinned victoriously. "I'm a Harry Potter. I eat Dark Lords for breakfast. You should know that."

"How did you do it?" Hermione asked.

A.K. looked at Harry. "You really want to know?"

Harry shook his head, "No." He turned to Hermione. "We really don't."

"Fine," she reluctantly agreed. "I'll go get the albums." She wiggled in place a bit and stepped up out of the tub.

A.K.'s eyes followed her body and movements before he registered what she said and asked, "Albums? As in plural?"

Harry nodded. "You did what you're good at. And the girls did some of the many things that they're good at. Each of them made you an album of just them, and occasionally me. There's also a much larger one subdivided by combinations of people, activities, and personal preferences on the… severity… of the acts depicted."

Hermione pulled out a massive stack of books she was precariously balancing as she walked over. "And we've even made an album just for you."

She handed him the top one and A.K. looked down at a picture of himself and Mrs. Weasley doing things he'd rather have never imagined. "Oh good lord. Is that bacon? Actually, don't answer that."

Hermione explained as she dropped the stack next to A.K. "We got Tonks into a pensieve memory of you and she helped us mug it up for the camera."

A.K. nodded. "I see Tonks was pretty… generous in some of her guesstimates. Wait, Tonks! Couldn't she have been a Black mistress? Or why isn't she in the harem?"

Harry shook his head. "Tonks' mum got booted from the Blacks, and I don't think Remus would be too pleased if Tonks joined my harem. And I know Tonks would appreciate you not mentioning these pictures to Remus."

A.K. was flipping through the book seeing himself with all of the various naked girls, occasionally in water wings with sour apple panties over his head. "I think I can keep this secret to myself."

"Oh, before I forget," Harry smiled genuinely at A.K. "Thank you for killing Voldemort."

A.K. looked up and grinned. "You're welcome. And thanks for these albums. I see your girls have gone above and beyond what I'd hoped for here. Speaking of… where are they?"

Luna's head popped up from underwater suddenly, startling A.K. as he had been here for several minutes. "Gillyweed!" she cheered stabbing her fingers into her own gills before flipping around. Her legs stuck up in the air and kicked as she was apparently diving deeper down underwater.

A.K. leaned over the side to look in the tub and sure enough, Padma, Parvati, Narcissa, Molly, Susan, Daphne, and Luna were all down there doing things that would make a merman blush. A.K. watched for a moment while Daphne seemed to be in the throes of some sort of ecstasy. A.K. stepped back with a smile. "I should probably go now. It was damn nice seeing you, Harry."

"You too, A.K.," Harry smiled back.

"God I wish more Harrys could be like you," He explained as he gathered up his new albums and began casting his dimensional traveling magic. As he swirled his wand he turned and was checking out Hermione's buoyant assets and sighed. "To think, I didn't even make one seamen joke." And with a wink he disappeared from the Room of Requirement.