Disclaimer: I don't think anyone would believe me even if I told them that I did own The Outsiders. All I own is Naomi and her guitar and my birthday.


December 23 1967

"Remember how we breathe, Naomi."

Shirley had beenreally intolerable for the last few weeks. I think it was Christmastime stress.

"My mom has been waiting outside for the last fifteen minutes."

Shirley looked up at me, her navy blue eyes flashing behind her dark, black rimmed glasses. I instantly regretted saying anything.

"Okay, then, we'll go as soon as I've shown you this song. I want you to sing it in February."

"About that...where exactly is the concert held?"

"Oklahoma City. February 12th. Be there."

"Uh...okay."

"Now, Naomi," Shirley sounded as though she were talking to a very young child, "Can you tell me something that is very important in order to make beautiful music?"

That made me feel even more stupid, because I couldn't.

"I guess...there's alot of things, aren't there? You need to be able to sing or play, first of all-"

"No," She snapped, making me jump, "That's not all. You need to feel the music."

I had to restrain myself from rolling my eyes. Shirley could get sorta weird like this sometimes.

"Okay, then."

"Do you think you can feel the music, Naomi?" I had to struggle not to laugh as I pictured what Soda might do if he were here right now. Probably imitate her or something.

"Uh...I guess it depends."

"I picked a song I think you can feel, Naomi," Shirley walked over to her piano, and played a quick scale, "Your Grandfather passed away awhile ago, correct?"

"Yes...nearly a year ago."

"I see. I picked a song that a friend of mine wrote. Anna Scott. I don't suppose you've heard of her," she said briskly, "Because she never seems to want to advertise her work. Pity, she does have talent."

"...okay..."

"Come sit down and read the words to this song," Shirley patted the piano bench beside her, "I think you might like it."

"Does it have an opera style range?"

"No, actually,"

"Good. I'm actually happy to hear that. Truth be told...I'm just glad."

"What were you going to say?"

"Huh?"

"You were going to say- 'Truth be told' something or other, but you didn't say it."

"I was going to say, Truth be told, I don't like opera so much anymore."

"Does your mother know?"

"No."

"Then I won't make you snig anymore opera. I'll just tell your mother we do. And you'll tell her the same. Agreed?"

"Yeah."

"Good. Now, are you going to look at the song or not?"

I shook my hair out of my eyes as I sat down. I had gotten it cut a day after my birthday, October 12th, but I was alreadyway past due for another trim.

"Now You've Gone And Left Me" I muttered, "That's...pretty, I guess.Why would you pick this one?"

"I think you can feel this song, Naomi."

"Okay...how?"

"Well, look here. Read the words."

I scanned the words quickly.

I don't want to fall asleep anymore,
Because I know when I wake up,
You won't be here,
And I can't take it much more,


"That sounds like a...like someone who lost their lover," I said in digust, "Nottheir Grandfather."

"Well, then, make it for a Grandfather," She played the beginning on the piano a few times without letting me argue or question her, and continued, "Now sing."

"I don't want to fall asleep anymore-"

"Louder."

""I don't want to fall asleep anymore-"

"Slower."

"I don't want to fall asleep anymore-"

"With feeling, Naomi, feeling!"

"I don't know what you mean!" I tugged on a stray curl infront of my face.

"I want you to mean it, Naomi. Have you ever dreaded the days where you missed your Grandfather?"

"Sometimes."

"Then say it. Really mean it. Tell him you wish he were still with you."

"And the rest?"

"The same. Sing it like you mean it."

"What if I don't mean it?"

"Then we'll find a different song."

"Not every musician means everything they sing."

"Yes, some of them do sing things they don't mean. That's why they are proffesionals and you are here taking lessons from an old bat. With feeling, now."

"I don't want to fall asleep anymore-"

"Good, continue,"

"Because I know when I wake up,"

"Continue,"

"You won't be here,"

"Don't miss that beat, Miss Sterling,"

"And I can't take it much more,"

"Good Job. I like how you sang with feeling. This will be a winner for the concert."

"Thanks." I smiled, but I didn't really mean it, because when I had to sing that song, it reopened old wounds that I'd worked really hard to heal. Maybe Shirley sensed this, because she placed her thin, claw like hand on my shoulder.

"I think we're done for this week, Naomi."

"See you Monday."

"Merry Christmas."

"You too."


December 24th, 1967 7:00 PM

"I'm going to Ashley's!" I yelled out the front door, "I'll be back in two hours!"

"Watch the traffic!"

I slammed the door before either of my parents could notice I had my guitar with me. I was actually going to Ashley's, we just weren't staying there. I was going to follow up on the promise that Pony had forced me to make about a week before and take my guitar when I went to visit.

"So then," Ashley was saying as we walked along later, "Mom was pretty sure she left the turkey at the supermarket, because it was on her receit but she didn't have it, and then we remembered that Bear had gotten into the car when we first got home," Bear was Ashley's huge dog, hence what they called him,"And we went outside into the dog house, and there was the turkey. We have to get a new one now, because Bear ate half the old one..."

"This guitar is killing me," I switched hands again, "Remind me to make Pony feel bad for making me bring it."

"You should've just left it home."

"I promised."

"Still, though."

"It would've been mean not to bring it."

"Naomi, if that kid asked you to eat dirt you'd do it."

"He'sa real sweet kid, Ash."

"If by sweet you mean manipulative, then sure."

"C'mon, in the long run you'd eat the dirt too."

"No, not if Pony asked me too. Maybe I would if Sodapop asked me to."

I probably spent alot of time afterwards wishing I hadn't seen her smile at me like that right then. It gave me the same feeling as when in grade two Madisyn Murphy got the singing solo in our school concert because the music teacher liked her more than she liked me. Or when my cousins all had my Grampy's birthday cake without me. It was sort of the hopeless feeling that you get when someone takes something important away from you.

"It's 'cause we're such pansies," I joked, "Anyone can get us to do anything. C'mon, I have to get home by nine and it's already seven thirty five." Ashley started to protest, but I never heard what she said. I really didn't want to hear it.

The full impact set in a few minutes later.

Oh my gosh. Ashley likes Sodapop.

I could see their house down the street. It looked really welcoming. Looking back now, I still find it hard to believe I didn't say, "Me too." To Ashley's comment.

"Hi!" Ashley said brightly as we went inside. I smiled half-heartedly. Somehow, it was going to be really weird to be in the same room as Ash and Soda now. I tugged on the curl dangling in my eye. It was a good stress reliever. That was the only thing keeping me from cutting it off.

"You brought your guitar!" Pony smiled brightly.

"I promised, didn't I? Regardless of what Ashley said to me-"

Ashley elbowed me in the ribs.

"I'm sorry, Ash, am I making you look bad? Or feel umcomfortable?"

Ashley was making direct eye contact with me, and I casually stole a glance over my shoudler into a tiny mirror behind the door. Yup...my eyes were almost the color of a dandelion. I smiled my infamous (and long forgotten) cocky half-smile that was my way of laughing without laughing. Ashley's face softened when she realized I was trying to embarass her rather than destroy her.

"Can you play something?" Pony's eyes were lit up like a kid on Christmas, which would be about accurate.

"Sure, just let me get in the door," I joked, hanging my coat on the door handle.

"Sorry," He ran off into the other room.

"Never seen the kid so full of it," Ashley breathed into my ear.

I just laughed and pulled my guitar out of it's case.

"Tuff guitar," a voice sounded behind me, and I knew it was Soda before I really knew it was Soda, "Can I hold it?"

"Sure." I handed it to him, and he looked more uncomfortable with it than my Mom when she tried to play it.

"What do I do?"

"Put one hand here, and the other here..."

"Ooooooh...okay." He handed the guitar back to me and walked into the room where everyone else was.

"I'd ask if I could hold the guitar too," Steve said loudly, "But Naomi wouldn't want me to drop it!"

"That's mostly true, yes." I said, settling down between Ashley and Sodapop. Hey, I was uncomfortable with the situation, so Ashley should be too.

"You're gonna poke me in the eye with that," Ashley slapped the head of the guitar.

"You're gonna hurt the guitar," I teased, "And you're acting like a little girl!"

"I am a little girl." Ashley replied in a high pitched voice.

"Ever since the operation."I said in the same voice as Ashley.

"Can you play something, Naomi?" Pony asked again.

"Okay, I'll play something," I silently weighed my options of what to play. I decided to go with Silent Night, since it was the easiest. I looked over at Pony for a second, who was to the right of Soda, because I was going to tell him what I was going to play, and I saw Soda looking back at me for a second, and I got one of those feelings like something really heavy dropped from my throat tomy stomach really fast. I knew I was flushing bright red, so I quickly turned my head down and gathered all my hair in a pony tail and pulled the elastic band over it. Evidently, I left out the tiny curl that I liked to pull on.

"Nice hair," snickered Ashley, "It looks like a poodle's stuck in your hair."

"Niiiiiice doggie," Soda started petting the back of my hair, "Niiiice...IT BIT ME!"

I slapped his hand away from my head. Maybe I shouldn't have put my hair up, I silently told myself.

"I'm gonna play silent night," I said, and quickly ran through it.

"Can you show me how to play it?" Pony asked shyly.

"Sure, c'mere." He walked slowly, as though he thought the guitar might bite him.

"Hold it like this," I held out the guitar, and he held it right the first time.

"See," turned to Soda, "This is how it's done."

Everyone laughed except Ashley.

"Aww, c'mon, Nay," She said, in a sickeningly sweet voice, "That's mean."

There was silence for a second.

"Uh...I was joking. We were just doing that a second ago, remember? The poodle in my head?" I hinted quietly.

No one said anything. We were all kinda uncomfortable for Ashley.

"So," I said, louder than I had to, "The first note is E. This right here. Yeah, And the next one is F, that's open. Right on. Now C is up here..."

After about twenty minutes, Pony could nearly play the song. He was about to try it again when Soda interupted him.

"C'mon, Pony, I want a turn!"

Pony just smiled and handed the guitar over. I don't know how that kid can be so tolerant.

"What's the first note again?"

"E. It's the second fret, on this string-"

"What string?"

"Here-" I put his hand on the fret, "This. Now play that. Good, that's the first note. Now for the second note. "


It was 9:05 by the time Soda decided to call it quits on the guitar. Ashley was inthe worst mood I'd ever seen her in.

"We gotta go now," I smiled around, "Merry Christmas!"

"Merry Christmas, guys," Ashley mumbled. I never thought I'd live to see the day where Ashley and I would both like the same guy. It was so quiet going down the steps that I could hear every creak and groan. My stomach felt as though I was going to be sick, just like I did every time I thought a friend might be mad at me.

"Naomi?"

I jumped and spun around. It was so quiet that a voice had scared me half to death.

"Yeah?"

"Could you come here?"

I squinted into the darkness when I was unable to identify the voice.

"Who is it?"

"Me."

"I can't tell who it is when you're whispering!"

"It's Sodapop!"

Just another thing to add to my nerves.

"Yeah?" I walked back up the creaking steps.

"What's with Ashley?"

"She's just a little upset. She gets like that sometimes."

"She'll be okay, won't she?"

The trace of concern in his voice made me get that feeling again where a weight drops into your stomach, but this time it was a bad feeling. Soda must like Ashley back. I tried to imagine what it would be like if they started going out, but stopped myself. Too terrible to imagine.

"She'll be fine." I sat up on the railing, but when it started to squeak, I jumped off again. I was about two feet from Soda now and I felt like hitting him for liking Ashley.

"She seems kinda tempermental sometimes."

"She can be."

"I mean, she's an okay girl and all that, you know. I just wondered if maybe something I said offended her or something-"

"No, she's offeneded because of how I told her I was just joking."

"Oh. I guess that makes sense."

Everything was silent. It was a little awkward, but happy for me because now I knew that Soda didn't like Ashley in that way.

"You did a real good job singing at that concert."

"Thanks."

"You have a real nice voice."

"Thank you." I smiled kindly. I meant it.

"You're real pretty, too."

Now I was sure I might pass out.

"Shut up."

"No, I mean it."

"What am I supposed to say to that?"

"You don't have to say something."

"So I can stand here and smile?"

"Just stand there and look pretty."

I went to hit him, but he jumped away, laughing.

"When's your next concert?"

"February 12th."

"Where?"

"In Oklahoma City."

"Maybe we'll be there."

"It's a far way."

"Hey, come on. We want to support you."

I tapped my heel against the house. There was a loose shingle that was serving the same purpose as the curl that hung infront of my eyes. It relieved stress, and I was a bundle of nerves.

"You must be cold." I commented, since Soda wasn't even wearing a coat.

"No, not a lot. If I get too cold, I can just go inside."

"Hm. I didn't mean I don't want you at the concert."

"I know."

"I just thought you might not want to travel all the way to Oklahoma City to see a concert."

"I would."

"If you want to go, by all means-"

"I want to go."

I sort of half-smiled, and looked down at my feet, and then back up at Soda. He smiled, too. Then, without warning, he leaned over and kissed me. I was definately surprised. And when I say surprised, I mean happier than I'd ever been. About two seconds later, I heard a snarling voice that I didn't recognize.

"Well, isn't this beautiful?"

I looked up to see who the stranger was. It was Ashley. I realized I didn't recognize her voice because I'd never seen her so angry. She grabbed my guitar from the top stair where she was standing, and threw it down onto the ground.

"You little whore," He spat at me, and ran off down the street. There was silence.

"I don't like to judge people," Soda said, finally, "But that girl is off her rocker."

"My guitar." I said hoarsely, running down the stairs and opening the case. There was a hairline crack down the middle of the body.

"Is it fixable?"

I shrugged my shoulders, biting my lip and trying my hardest not to cry.

"I should go home," I said in the steadiest voice I could manage.

"Okay. Do you want a drive?"

"No, I have to walk."

"Okay. Have a good Christmas."

"That's not likely, but I'll try."Soda pulled me into a hug, and it was nearly impossible not to break down and bawl over my guitar. It seems stupid to cry overan instrument, when it's so replaceable, but I really loved that guitar. I only kept my cool incase I met Ashley on the way home. I wasn't upset anymore about her, I was angry. I'd patched things up with Daph and Emilie, since I'd been acting normal again, and I knew that as soon as I got home I'd call them and get them on my side.

I spent the whole walk home trying to make myself feel better, and by the time I actually got home, I felt really happy and light spirited. Hey, it was Christmas, I had just gotten rid of Ashley, who really was starting to get annoying, and best of all - I actually kissed Sodapop Curtis. So, overall, I was feeling fine, until Mom opened the door.

"It's 9:45," She growled, "And I know you weren't at Ashley's."