Disclaimer: I own nothing; it all belongs to J.K.Rowling. I'm just borrowing the characters to play with for a while. This is for pleasure only, no profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended.
WORLD #420 – The One with The Sight
A.K. nearly fell when he managed to reappear sitting down in a chair. He swung his arms wildly trying to catch his balance unnecessarily. He steadied his arms on the sides of the unmoving but extremely comfortable chair. He was also distracted to notice the tray of chocolate flavored chocolate chip mini muffins in front of him. He looked around the kitchen as sunlight streamed in through the window and was startled when an egg timer immediately began ringing.
"You're late," a young man said right as he hurried into the kitchen. He slipped on an oven mitt and crouched down. "I was expecting you almost half an hour ago. I'm afraid your mini-muffins are probably not even warm still. But I'm about to take some peanut butter chocolate chunk cookies out from the oven if you like."
"Excuse me?" A.K. asked in confusion.
The young man hadn't even turned around still. "They're peanut butter cookies but I added in large chunks of semi-sweet chocolate."
A.K. looked at the bit of ass crack showing through the back of the young man's pajamas and began to wonder if this was a common problem many Harry Potters had. "Err… right."
"The muggles call it plumber's butt," he explained apparently aware he was being watched. "Personally, I just like the open air breeze. You need not stare if it bothers you." He pulled out the cookies after finding them suitably done. He stood up and set the tray of cookies onto the stove to cool. "A.K… can I call you A.K.? Or would you prefer someone to call you Harry again?" The young man spun back around and for the first time A.K. saw his eyes. They were completely milky white without any coloring of any sort.
A.K. was surprised and mildly impressed. "Do you go by the name Harry?"
The young man smiled and nodded. "I do, but I get to be called Harry all of the time. For the duration of your stay on this world, I can go by my middle name of James. I think Dad would like that too."
A.K. smiled. "Naw, that's alright. A.K.'s grown on me."
"Very well A.K.," Harry grinned. "You can call me Harry if you find that more comfortable. Don't let the little lady scare you."
"The little lady?" A.K. asked uncertainly.
"Hello," Luna said, approximately three inches from A.K.'s ear. A.K. fell out of his extremely comfortable chair in fright beginning to hyperventilate.
"That little lady," Harry explained as he began to scrape the fresh cookies onto a plate. "I think she enjoys making us both uncomfortable."
"God dammit Luna," A.K. said clutching his chest as he sat back down into his chair. "That's not funny."
She turned to stare at the newcomer in her kitchen. "Do I look like I'm laughing?"
A.K. chuckled. "You look unabashedly amused. I'd be even more scared if you were laughing."
"I don't like him, Harry." Luna pouted. "Can I kill him?"
Harry shook his head with a smile.
"Is she serious?" A.K. asked looking at Luna oddly.
Luna shook her head. "No, I'm Luna. Sirius is dead."
A.K. looked at the serene blonde and eventually started laughing. "It says a lot that only Luna could joke about that."
"Luna," Harry scolded with a warm smile. "If you don't behave I'll be forced to not spank you."
A.K. thought he heard wrong until he remembered who was being reprimanded.
Luna pouted again. "Fine, I'll be good."
"If you'll excuse my wife," Harry explained.
"Wife?" A.K. interrupted in surprise. "Is she even of age?"
"She's older than I am," Harry mysteriously explained. "And we haven't gone through our marriage ceremony yet. But we both have seen it. It will be beautifully unique."
A.K. nodded as he munched on a lukewarm mini-muffin. "Your gift foretold my coming I take it?"
"Yes and no." Harry continued as he offered A.K. a fresh cookie. "My wife informed me that she would try to cheat on me with me. Apparently I desperately needed a break."
"Really?" A.K. smiled as he looked over at Luna.
"Yes really," Harry explained. "Notice I said 'try' though. It's not going to happen."
A.K. frowned. "Shame that. What was I thinking?"
Harry grinned. "I'm not sure even you know the answer to that one."
A.K. shook his head at Luna's playful batting of her eyelashes. "Pity. You said something about a break?"
"Yes, the powers that be seem to think you could use a little time to relax and remind yourself why you do what you do."
"Why I do what I do?" A.K. asked. "I do it because I made a stupid ass oath."
Luna piped up as she tilted her head. "One reason is not necessarily the only reason."
Harry nodded and added, "There was a reason you felt compelled to make the oath in the first place. You can't fight as well as you can when you don't remember why you're fighting."
"So I'm here to be reminded of the horrors of war?" A.K. munched on another still warm cookie. "I think I remember pretty clearly."
Harry quirked his mouth into a grin. "No, A.K. I'm sure you're quite familiar with those. This is just time to relax and take in the simple pleasures. The things you wished for, for your own world."
A.K. got a bit of wan smile. He hadn't thought about his own world for a while. "So that's it? I'm to take a little vacation? No Voldemort worries for once?"
Harry shook his head sadly. "Not exactly. Part of my gift leaves me unable to do my prophesized duty. There is still a Voldemort here, in hiding. We've destabilized his entire power base and he has very few followers. But I've got all the information you will need in a journal on the desk in the other room. It should be one of your easier jobs. You can get it out of the way first if you want and then relax for a couple of weeks. Or you can take a break here and deal with it later."
A.K. smirked up at Harry. "You already know which one I'm doing, so why ask?"
Harry smiled. "Because it's polite?"
Luna smacked Harry in the back of the head as she grabbed a cookie. "Don't believe him. He saw himself asking."
"Anything I should know before I go and take care of business?" A.K. asked as he got up.
Harry shook his head. "Dumbledore already knows a traveler from another world will be ending Voldemort. The Order is fearing little green men from outer space."
A.K. snickered and cast a few self-transfiguration spells to lengthen his neck, shrink his body and change his skin color. "Well, I'll make sure I don't disappoint."
"Pick up some milk on your way back," Harry asked. "I'll be pulling out some fresh brownies then."
The little green man smiled brightly and waddled into the room to get the journal. He skimmed over a half dozen pages of notes and placed his three fingered webbed hand over his heart. He phased out of time and space with his alien battle cry of "Meekrob!"
"I got the milk!" A.K. called back victoriously. "You got the brownies?"
"Welcome back," Luna said with a smile.
A.K. stopped and nearly dropped the milk on the ground. Luna was relaxed on the couch reading the Quibbler naked as the day she was born. She folded down her paper showing off her extremely pert young breasts. "Did you have a good murder?"
A.K. just sat there and stared, completely entranced. "Umm… err…"
"Brownies are out!" Harry called from the kitchen. "They won't stay this moist and melty forever!"
A.K. looked down at the milk he brought, looked down the hallway towards the kitchen, and then looked over at Luna's smiling face and trim toned little body. He could smell the brownies. "Oh god dammit! I've got the milk." A.K. clenched his eyes shut as he tore his gaze away and hurried to the kitchen for some brownies. "These better be damn good brownies."
"Don't worry, no walnuts." Harry spun around to see A.K.'s frustrated grin. "Luna's naked, isn't she?"
A.K. grumbled as he poured three glasses of milk.
Harry called loudly, "You won't get brownies if you're don't put at least a robe on!"
A frustrated huff could be heard.
Harry clarified, "That covers your bits!"
"I hate you!" Luna called back from the other room.
Harry grinned at A.K. and traded him a steaming brownie for a glass of milk. Harry grinned, "You know I tried and tried to see, but I never could figure out if you wanted cheesecake brownies. So I made both."
A.K. saw the second tray of cheesecake brownies coming out of the oven. "Nice to see you're putting that gift to good use."
Luna came in tying her robe around her waist. "It's like watching a porno we've yet to make."
A.K. nodded thinking that's a pretty damn good existence.
"I've named my pussy Deuce," Luna said as she stared off into space. "You might want to consider doing the same. I think it's an apt name."
A.K. fought down his initial impulse as his mind cycled through inappropriate puns. "I'll… umm… keep that in mind. Thanks for sharing."
"The journal is for you to keep," Harry explained. "You can use it to send us letters, and it should work across worlds. In case you want a pen pal you don't have to constantly re-introduce yourself to. And I would appreciate it if you dropped by before you left this world. Some pictures of your trip would be nice and Luna would probably like a snow globe, but that's up to you."
Luna smiled as she dipped her brownie into her milk. "I can be naked again."
A.K. smiled at Luna and Harry. "I'll see what I can do." A.K. finished off the rest of his fourth brownie and stood up. "I think I am going to take myself a little vacation now. I'll thank you when I get back. Send my journal a letter if you need anything."
Luna and Harry waved goodbye. Harry said "Bon Voyage!" while Luna practiced shooting milk out her nose just as A.K. disappeared.
A.K. reappeared with a smile on his face. He found himself staring at Luna laying naked on black silk sheets. Luna flashed her eyelashes up at A.K. "Anything I can do… for you?"
A.K.'s eyes widened. "Oh good gravy!"
"Apple pie is fresh out of the oven!" Harry called out from the kitchen. "We've got vanilla ice cream that melts right into the cinnamon crumble crust!"
"Sweet mother of mercy!" A.K. called out in joy. He smiled at Luna's naked body. "It's good to see you, Luna." A.K. turned and ran into the kitchen. "I'll take a big slice!"
"Welcome back, A.K.," Harry greeted. "You seem to be in good spirits."
A.K. nodded. "It was a nice break."
"Luna's naked again, isn't she?" Harry playfully frowned.
"Oh yeah," A.K. said with a happy laugh. "You know come to think of it, how the hell do you guys eat all these desserts and stay in such taut firm delicious shape?"
Luna came into the kitchen tying her robe on once more.
"You hear that, honey?" Harry asked Luna as he cut her a slice of pie. "A.K.'s wondering how we stay in shape."
Luna smiled happily. "Hmm… I wonder."
Harry smiled back. "Yup, we may need to come up with a vigorous sweaty fat-burning regime. Probably a lot of repetitions of a variety of exercises, to really make sure we're working off all those extra calories in all the problem areas."
Luna tapped her chin in thought. "Washing machine?"
Harry shook his head. "Nope."
"Power sander?"
"Don't think so."
"Hmm…" Her eyes lit up in hope. "Wrestling ring?"
Harry smiled and nodded. "I got dibs on Poppycock Pomfrey!"
Luna frowned but called out, "If Fred and George drop by, I call Weasley triplets!"
A.K. accepted a slice of pie a la mode. "Poppycock Pomfrey? Do I even want to know?"
Harry struck a heroic pose. "One of our more popular costumes for playing healer. Poppycock has assless chaps," he said with a firm slap on his own bum before putting his hand over his heart, "a heart of gold." Harry flexed his muscle and slapped his tricep. "And an elbow drop of steel."
A.K. swallowed his bite of apple pie and ice cream with a look of pure ecstasy on his face. "I'm sorry I asked."
Luna nodded. "We get plenty of exercise. And the best part is if I can pinch an inch, I get to use the paddle."
Harry seemed to have a faraway look at the concept of 'the best part.' He remembered he had company and saw the slightly worried smile on A.K.'s face. "So… how was your trip?"
A.K. grinned and reached into his pocket for some pictures. "Here are some shots from the surveillance cameras of the bank I robbed."
"Oooh fun!" Luna cackled looking at the pictures.
"A.K.!" Harry frowned. "We could have given you all the money you needed."
A.K. shrugged. "I've got plenty of my own too, but I just like spending other people's money more. Bank was insured, no one got hurt." A.K. bit his tongue. "Well, not too bad anyhow."
Luna was inspecting the pictures. "I take it that's you looking like the Headmaster… shirtless?"
A.K. just grinned.
Harry looked at the pictures and snickered. "I think the rainbow striped suspenders add a nice touch of realism to the outfit."
"I thought so too," A.K. agreed. "And once I had my financial situation resolved, I ended up in the land of dreams." A.K. handed them the next group of pictures.
"Vegas!" Luna squealed happily.
"Gambling, hookers, lots of food, gambling, and hookers!" A.K. described. "It was delightful."
"I'm sure," Harry agreed, blushing a little at some of the pictures he was looking through.
Luna gasped. "That looks like my armpit!"
A.K. raised his hands in defense. "A fella's allowed to polyjuice a hooker, isn't he?"
Harry just shook his head and smiled at A.K. "Well, I certainly can't fault your taste."
A.K. nodded. "I took out some of the pictures I thought might bother you."
"You're all heart," Harry rolled his eyes. "So did you take in any shows while you were there?"
A.K. smirked proudly. "What kind of a wizard would I be if I passed on the magic shows?"
Luna pointed to a picture. "Is that why you took so many of this man crying?"
"Yup," A.K. nodded. "That was one of the local magicians. I just did little things to throw him off his game. Like when he pulled a rabbit out of his hat, I turned it into a kitten. He was more surprised than everyone else in the crowd."
Harry was looking at a picture from the show.
A.K. pointed at it and said, "Oh yeah! He does this thing where drags his bandana through his hand. It changes the color and he magically pulls it out as a really long scarf. I just thought a little eight foot scarf was unimpressive and made it about a half mile long. He was pulling the thing out of his sleeve for 15 minutes before he gave up and cut it off. The crowd was laughing a lot more than he was."
Harry nodded at the humorous picture. "Yes, this looks like when he started to cry."
"Oooh!" Luna squealed. "A tiger!"
A.K. smiled brightly and laughed. "Oh yeah! There was this two man show, and by man, I mean like flamboyantly, theatrically, festively, pureblood, kind of a man, if you know what I mean." A.K. gave Harry a none too subtle nudge.
"Yes, I think we got it," Harry readily admitted after whispering an explanation in Luna's ear.
"Anyways they do this show with a tiger, and I thought it might be fun to rile the tiger up a bit, you know? So I…" A.K. paused and his smile went away. "Actually, that one really wasn't quite so funny. Let's move on."
Harry thought he might want to track down some of the recent Vegas newspapers. "So where did you go after Vegas?"
A.K. looked at Harry oddly. "What do you mean?"
"Well," Harry thoughtfully explained. "when you left Vegas, where did you go next?"
"Leave Vegas?" A.K. asked as Luna echoed, "Leave… Vegas?"
"Why would I ever want to do that?" A.K. asked. "I've seen and traveled all over the world many times. Vegas is the best place on earth!" A.K. frowned. "Did I mention the gambling and hookers?"
Harry shook his head ruefully. "Forgive me for thinking there was more to life. It's comforting to know the depths and high quality of characters other Harry Potters possess."
A.K. snickered and nodded. "Oh we're a motley bunch alright." A.K. frowned. "It's a little depressing how many times I feel the need to kill us." A.K. shrugged. "But I haven't regretted a single one."
Harry sat back and smiled at A.K. "Can I ask you one of your secrets?"
A.K. nodded. "Be my guest. No promises on whether I'll answer though."
"Your immortality," Harry inquired. "I've seen you take a Killing Curse, and then reappear in a new body next to your dead one. How?"
A.K. replied. "Ahh, I suppose you're one of the few that can tell I'm really hit and killed by that."
Harry nodded.
"Well, as you may have guessed, I took some… slightly drastic measures," A.K. explained. "To ensure I wouldn't doom my own world to Voldemort. I split my soul and made a horcrux."
"That's what I thought," Harry said.
"And here's why I don't mind sharing this information as it's not much of a security risk." A.K. smirked. "I knew a horcrux was only as safe as it's hiding space, particularly as evidenced in Voldemort's many downfalls. But so far he's always been limited by hiding them on his own world and in his own dimension."
Luna was listening intently as well.
"But I wasn't restricted by that and could hide my horcrux in any of an infinite amount of worlds. And I found an even better solution, through my myriad of studies in dimensions, including," A.K. paused and winked at Luna. "Creating them. So the other half of my soul exists not only in a dimension only I can reach, but actually in a world I crafted as needed. The environment responds to my needs and with further knowledge on horcruxes from a few of the Voldemort's I've come across, it takes little effort to fashion myself a new body. Then I just dimension hop right back into existence next to my old dead one. It wasn't always this easy," A.K. shrugged. "But it always looked that easy as long as I can control reappearing at the same moment I get killed, or bitten in half, or drunk enough to eat four bags of Pop Rocks before drinking a coke." A.K. shook his head. "Not going to do that one again."
Luna sat up and smiled. "So I could kill you!"
A.K. nodded. "Sure, we can come up with fun way if you like!" A.K. pointed at Luna gleefully. "Have you ever fired a rocket launcher?"
"No!" Harry jumped in with a grin. "Luna, don't go getting ideas now. You can't kill anyone without losing your gift. Even indirectly!"
Luna sighed and turned away from Harry. "Must you ruin everything!"
Harry rolled his eyes at Luna's playfulness. He turned to A.K. "Do you mind if I ask about your horcrux?"
A.K. nodded. "Only because you asked nice."
Luna turned back around and clapped happily. "So who did you murder in cold blood?"
Harry wagged his finger at Luna. "You're not allowed to enjoy this too much. We are talking about murder."
Luna snapped a glare at Harry and wagged her finger back. "For the greater good!"
A.K. just laughed. "Murder in cold blood for the greater good. Wonder if you could sell Albus on that one."
Luna nodded with complete certainty. "I could."
Harry just shook his head and looked at A.K. "You don't have to answer, I was just curious."
A.K. nodded. "I found it awfully convenient that we almost always stop Padfoot and Moony from killing Peter. And even just the term life debt implies so much."
Harry found himself smiling at the idea. "I believe Albus even warned me he had a feeling that Peter still had a role yet to play in the Dark Lord's downfall."
A.K. agreed. "Another reason I'm always curious how much Albus knows and how much he's just acting like he knows."
Harry and Luna said in unison, "Not even Albus knows how much he knows."
"I know that," A.K. said as he stopped to think about it. After a comfortable pause A.K. felt that itching of the oath pushing him. He stood up and announced, "I think it's time for me to get back to work."
Luna hopped up and hugged A.K. "It was lovely meeting you. Any time I need a murder done, you'll be the first person I think of."
"Thanks, Luna," A.K. hugged her back and stealthily squeezed her ass. "Oh! I just remembered," A.K. reached down his pants and pulled out, "One snow globe from Vegas just for you."
Luna took pleasure in vigorously shaking the miniature city. She managed to hold in most of her cackles.
A.K. smiled at her playfulness and turned just in time for Harry to grab him in a tight hug too.
"Thanks A.K.," Harry said as he reached around and squeezed A.K.'s ass happily. "If you ever want me to try and see something to make your job easier, you need only ask. And you're always welcome to drop by for fresh cookies."
A.K. wiggled a little uncomfortably at the ass-grab, but figured he deserved it. "I appreciate it. I'll give you updates in the journal."
"Later you two," A.K. said as he began to cast his dimension traveling magic. He was moments away from disappearing when Luna dropped her robe to the floor revealing her completely nude body. "Sure you don't want to do me before you go?"
A.K.'s eyes just widened and he flickered away from there with nothing but happy thoughts on his mind.
