I'm semi-happy so I decided to update.
January 19th
I hadn't been able to reach Ashley to tell her to get in touch with Hannah, and I hardly had a doubt as to where she was. I also hadn't been in touch with Jon or Sodapop since I'd ordered them around, andI was still nervous that one of them might be angry with me.
Fortunately for me, my parents had left me their car. I still don't know why they'd trust me with it. So I could get to the Curtis's in about half the time it took me to walk. And the sooner I got there, the sooner I busted Ashley. And, strange as it was, I was looking forwards to it.
When I got there, Pony was sitting on the front porch staring straight ahead. He had his eyes squinted, like he didn't quite comprehend something. I'd seen the same look on my Grampy many times. It meant he was off in his own little world, completely oblivious to anything going on around him. But, even in a pre-occupied state, it's pretty hard to ignore it when a strange car drives right up to your house.
"Hi," I smiled, feeling a sort of hollow feeling when he squinted up at me, the same expression Grampy used when I'd disturb his daydreams, "Ashley wouldn't be here, would she?"
"No," he looked surprised, "She hasn't been here."
"Strange, she's always here whenI look for her."
"Yeah, she's here alot. You don't always show up, though."
"Really?" I leaned against the railing and crossed my arms, "She's here that much?"
"Yeah. I...sometimes when she's here, you know..."
"No, what?"
"I don't really..."
"You don't really like her?"
"No. I mean, yes. I mean, you're right. Ijust don't like the way she acts, sometimes, and...could I talk to you, Naomi?"
"Sure."
"I would like her okay, it's just...she's making Soda unhappy. Man, he wouldn't show it to you guys, but..."
"Yeah, I know, but if you want her to leave, you can tell her-"
"That's...I don't mean that. I mean everything. The stuff she's done...what she made you do..."
I stopped smiling. How much did he know?
"How-"
"It's not hard, Naomi."
"But how isn't it?"
"Okay, first, you've been stuck on Soda since you first laid eyes on him. Admit it."
I looked at him defiantly.
"Just admit it. It helps."
"Fine. I admit it." I said quietly, my voice a little shaky, staring wide-eyed at the ground.
"Admit what?" Pony smiled. I grinned too.
"You know what."
"No, I can't remember."
"I admit," I lowered my voice considerably, "That...what did you say again? That 'I've been stuck on Soda since I first laid eyes on him.' "
As much as I'd wanted to keep it a secret, it felt good to finally be able to tell someone.
"And Ashley is, too."
"Yes."
"So, it's sort of like a competition?"
"No. She doesn't know."
"Oh...how many people do?"
"Two. You and Hannah."
He smiled wryly, and shook his head.
"Three people know."
"Who did you tell?"
"I didn't tell no one. He figured it out on his own."
"Oh. Well...who?"
"Soda," He said, matter-of-factly, "He's been sure of it."
I felt my stomach drop considerably."Yeah, well that's just the way he is."
"I know it. So Ashley convinced you to stay away from him after she saw you kissing him?"
My head, which had been in my hands, snapped up.
"He told you that?"
"Yep," Pony nodded, "He was on cloud nine. Well, I guess until you came back. And even then it was clear that Ashley was prompting you."
"Don't remind me." I groaned, closing my eyes.
"I don't get it. You're just hurting yourselves."
"I know I'll get over it."
"Yeah, but what about Soda?"
"He can't be hurt that bad, he was on a date with Ashley not long later."
"His last girlfriend was sneaking behind his back, and got pregnant. How much do you think he can be hurt?"
"What happened to the girlfriend?"
Pony shrugged indifferently.
"She's gone to Florida. We just don't talk about her. I don't think it hurts Soda that much anymore, but there's just nothing to say. It's a bad memory."
"When did it happen?"
"She left in September."
"So...she wouldn't havehad her baby yet?"
"No."
"Then, how do you know it's not Soda's?"
"She said it wasn't. That's the only proof we have."
"She'll be expecting around..." I counted on my fingers, "Next May, June, July?"
"That's right."
"I wish it were real simple, Pony, but it's not. Where is Soda, anyway?"
"Out back."
"I'll see you later."
"Bye. But, Naomi?"
"Yeah?"
"Soda's still not real sure that Ashley made you do anything. I figured that out on my own. Don't tell him if you don't want to."
Surely enough, he was sitting on the backsteps. It was the first time I'd seen him since I snapped at him, and also the first time I'd seen him since I knew he knew I liked him. I felt like I'd lost a defence.
"Hi," for the first time, I was scared he wouldn't talk to me. But he moved his hands away from his mouth and spoke.
"Hi."
"Pony said you were back here." He nodded.
"Yeah, I told him I'd be back here."
"Listen, I want to apologize-"
"No, Naomi, you listen," he sighed, before going on, "I should be apologizing. Like I said, it's not Jon's fault. It's mine. I've been bothering you, and pestering you, and it should have been clear the first time you turned me down. I realize I've made you uncomfortable, and I'm sorry. It won't happen again."
I felt pretty damn helpless right then.
"It's not..." I started to say ,'It's not like that,' but really, it was. To him, it was. And who wasI to say it wasn't? That I was lying? He'd think I was just feeling sorry for him.
It was then I noticed he wasn't wearing any shoes.
"Are you crazy?" I yelped, "It's January! You'll freeze!"
"Apparently," he smirked a bit, "I am crazy. I'm going inside now, anyway."
I felt like I'd just kicked a puppy.
"I don't want you to get sick," I said suddenly, catching the door.
Soda looked at me in utter confusion for a second, before letting the door close. Because, try as he might, there is one thing that Sodapop Curtis can't understand. Something that no one can understand. Even I don't understand it.
And that would be me.
