Abstract: Robin is determined to use her research skills to aid her crew. The current project: one swordsman's unique lack of directional sense. Aim: To investigate the causes and remedies relating to Roronoa Zoro's directional disorientation.

Rating: PG

A/N: I haven't written for this fandom in a while, so please accept my apologies for mistakes and inconsistencies. I have bowed to popularism in regard to Zoro's name. This is based on the English-translated manga, and I haven't seen the filler arcs or the movies.


It was a sunny day on the Thousand Sunny, the nine Strawhat Pirates relaxing on their ship in the aftermath of yet another fascinating adventure. Well, Robin thought they were relaxing – relatively speaking, since one grew accustomed to the raucous in this crew. She herself was quietly sipping a beverage as she noted down the latest escapade in her journal, while Nami added some decorative touches to her map of the last island they had visited. Apparently, if she wanted to be taken seriously in cartographic circles, pictures of sea serpents and dragons were mandatory.

Robin had decided to add a few sketches in her own journal, but most of the art work on the ship was either Usopp's, or (unfortunately) Luffy's. The captain had yet to be convinced of his own lack-of-talent, and they had long since given up on disabusing him of his self-confidence.

The captain himself was doing the opposite of relaxing, playing a very physical game of quoits with Chopper and Usopp. Supposedly this was to distract him from asking for food for the third time in ten minutes, but he was growing increasingly agitated at Usopp's unerring accuracy. Robin might have told him not to bother with jealousy or competition regarding a marksman's expertise, but she simply sipped on Sanji's generous drink.

The cook was, of course, in the kitchen slaving over lunch, while Franky appeared to have taken a break from hammering something to compose a song-and-dance routine with Brooke in the bowels of the ship. She presumed that it was to be a surprise, so turned her attention elsewhere. Ah, the swordsman in the weights room was being terrifying again, while his crew was busy. He would make an excellent villain for a thriller, so long as Chopper did not leap on his head to imitate an adorable hat during the play. She did wonder how he managed to do such things without devil fruit powers, but...a topic for another day, she supposed. There was a far more pressing matter to attend to as far as he was concerned.

Namely, his appalling sense of direction. It was a liability, regardless of how embarrassing he found it to discuss. Their demon was in denial over his impairments, and she knew that nothing short of concrete evidence followed up by mitigation strategies was going to help.

Closing the journal, Robin retrieved another notebook from her collection.

Project #23

Aim: To investigate the causes and remedies relating to Roronoa Zoro's directional disorientation.

Methods:

Primarily qualitative analysis, using anecdotal and observational evidence from author and crewmates, interview with the subject.

The interview would be, she thought, the most difficult to obtain. She would try to exhaust all other avenues first.


"Chopper," Robin called lightly, pushing open the door to the sick bay. Activity was lower immediately following lunch, and Chopper had retired to his area to complete his own preparations while the others recovered from eating too much (Luffy), napped (Zoro and, surprisingly, half of the others), tuned (Brooke) or smoked (Sanji – she needed to cure him of that habit, too).

"Oh, hello, Robin!" the doctor clapped his hooves, "Do you need something?"

"Actually, no. I have come to ask you some questions."

"Questions?"

"I am currently engaged in a research project to assist our swordsman with his...navigational issues."

Robin made a mental note of the way that Chopper's face fell.

"We're always so mean about it," he whispered, turning away, "Even me, a doctor. I'm a doctor and I tease him because there's something wrong with him!"

Tears pricked at the reindeer's eyes as Robin sat him down, wincing at the squirming.

"You're only young, yet, Chopper. You cannot expect to have reached perfection."

"I have a terrible bedside manner. I always thought Doctorine was harsh and now I've copied her mistakes."

"I am sure that he does not hold a grudge over it," Robin dismissed. Zoro didn't tend to do so; he was quite forgiving, as a rule, and his true anger burned frigid and petrifying, as opposed to the general vexation which made him yell at irritating crewmates, "But if you wish to help..."

"Oh, yes! Yes!" Chopper launched himself from his seat, abuzz with energy at the prospect of action, "Yes, I want to help! I want to cure it! But..."

The little doctor clacked his hooves gently.

"There isn't one, yet. A cure that is. I'm still...I have a long way to go."

"Have you identified the problem?"

Was this all it would take, Robin wondered. Was it a simple diagnosis?

"Yes. Have you ever heard of developmental topographical disorientation?"

Robin shook her head, commenting that this was Chopper's area of expertise.

"I'm not flattered, you bastard," he told her insincerely, before continuing, "Research is still in its infancy, but suffice to say there is something in the brain's development that means the navigational systems don't form properly. People get lost in their own homes!"

"But I have never seen Zoro lost on the ship," Robin pointed out.

"Yes, well...he might have a milder case. Or maybe he has strategies for the ship but not new places."

Robin had not noticed him developing such strategies when they had been introduced to the Thousand Sunny – he had simply walked around with as much ease as the rest of them once they had recovered from blasting themselves away. Then again, she had been thoroughly distracted with...inappropriate thoughts.

"Did he get lost on the Merry Go?" she asked.

"Not that I noticed, but he was on the ship long before I joined."

Robin nodded at this, but mused aloud, "I have never known him to mistake port and starboard, or any of Nami's instructions in a storm..."

"He's a more nuanced case," Chopper allowed, "Which, to be honest, only makes this more difficult. And more difficult to convince him that something is wrong. He doesn't like to admit a weakness of any sort."

"No indeed," Robin agreed, nodding along with the doctor. "I believe I will go and note down your observations while they are fresh."

Chopper pursed his lips.

"We will find a 'cure' as you say, Chopper. Do not trouble yourself. You have a whole crew eager to help you, and I intend to make use of that."

"Thank you!"

"Don't thank me yet," Robin smiled, "I haven't anything to show for it. I'll let you know as soon as I have some noteworthy results."

"Yes, ma'am," he replied, saluting as Robin turned away. Humming quietly to herself, she exited the sick bay, thoughts bubbling to the surface as she contemplated

"I wonder if he only gets lost on islands..."


The navigator was the next port of call for Robin, and perhaps she ought to have been the first, but Chopper certainly had some interesting insights to share with them. A developmental issue – of course it was, but the crew had certainly never seen it in that light.

"Hello, Nami, I was wondering if you had a few moments."

The navigator capped her lipstick, turning to Robin with hair still messy from her nap.

"I suppose. What is it?"

"I am conducting research on Zoro's navigational habits."

"Ha! I'd pay for that!"

She paused.

"You...are doing it for free, though, right?"

"Yes, of course. All for the benefit of the crew. I have just spoken with Chopper, and it would appear that our swordsman's condition is more nuanced than it seems on the surface."

"How do you mean?" Nami frowned at her, settling at her desk.

"Have you ever noticed Zoro to lose himself on the ship?"

"...No," Nami blinked, "No, I haven't. Gosh, Robin, that's big! I never noticed that!"

"Yes, indeed. But on islands?"

"Absolutely clueless," she waved a hand in response.

"Most intriguing...perhaps the smaller area?"

"Zoro can get lost in a court room. He has, for reference. And straight corridors...but not, I concede, either ship. Weird, that."

Nami scratched her chin in thought as Robin pressed on.

"Never mistaken port and starboard?"

"Oh, I would remember if he had. My fist would still be ringing. So no, no he hasn't. But right and left..."

She paused, her lips working, before she finished, "On an island."

"I am noticing a pattern here," Robin smiled.

"Ah, no need to look so academically interested. He's just a brain-dead moron!"

"Actually, I do not believe intelligence to be correlated with directional sense. Which is not meant as an insult to your good self, of course."

"He's still an idiot, correlative or not."

Nami waved a hand again.

"So long as someone ties a leash to him we'll be fine."

Shaking the image of what Zoro might do if faced with such a prospect, the most intriguing being a scenario involving grabbing the least with his teeth and slapping the holder about like a dog toy, Robin took her leave.


"The mosshead's sense of direction?" Sanji stared at her over a simmering soup, a tissue underneath his nose as he visibly forced himself to focus on her and not her...'assets', "Four too many knocks to the head, I think. It's gotten worse. It was...not long into the Grand Line when we first noticed it as a real problem."

"It is a new issue?" Robin blinked. That was certainly not the impression she had been given.

"I wouldn't know," he dismissed, "But it became a real issue then. Manageable before that, I'd guess, or a new concussion."

Tapping the spoon against the side of the pot, he reconsidered. "Definitely the concussions. We didn't have Chopper then. And the idiot is obviously brain damaged."

Robin did not think the conclusion so obvious. He did not appear to have a low IQ, per se, but a severely limited and sporadic education. When Chopper forced him to rest in bed following the disaster that was Thriller Bark, he had filled in the Sudoku at lightning speed, then devoured some tertiary mathematics books she had found in a recycling centre. But many elements others considered common sense eluded him, suggesting that he had not received a standard education, but one based on interests and possibly observed through a window.

Not that she had asked.

"Did you know," Sanji began, "He's so much of an idiot, that when Nami asked him to navigate, he followed the clouds instead of the log-pose?"

"I did not," she replied, "When was this?"

And why, if the issue was not a 'new' one, just as Sanji had suggested, would Nami trust him with such a thing?

"I don't know. Before Alabaster sometime. Apparently 'everyone knows' you follow the clouds."

The cook laughed as Robin considered his words. They definitely suggested a lacklustre education, but she also had a niggling feeling about it. Her intuition was telling her there was more to this story, but what she could not fathom.

"Any other amusing episodes?"

"Oh, yes, my darling Robin! Amusing...but also useful," Sanji reported, "Loathe though I am to admit it. He thought north meant up at Alabaster."

"But why use north as a direction on the Grand Line at all?"

Sanji blinked at her, or possibly winked.

"Ah, your intelligence astounds as always." Blood dripped down onto a new hand as she maintained the hygiene of their dinner. "We don't use those on the Grand Line."


Robin found herself nose to nose with the swordsman only a few moments later, dripping with sweat from yet another workout and demonstrating precisely why he needed to sleep all of the time. There was training, and there was whatever insatiable madness occupied him.

"Any news on dinner?" he asked her, face open as it had been since...she wasn't sure when he had decided to trust her. Sometime during their adventure on Skypeia, perhaps, the island in the sky.

"A little while yet, I believe," she answered.

"Mmm..."

"I would not recommend attempting to pilfer the liquor store." The fall of his expression confirmed her suspicions, "Or else you might contract blood-borne viruses."

He blinked at her.

"I thought that was to do with needles," he scratched his head, clearly recalling Chopper's lecture on the subject, and placing a tick in the 'no intellectual disability' column. Also the one on memory.

"Mostly, yes."

"You gave him a nosebleed again," the swordsman guessed, deadpan.

"Unfortunately."

"He needs to give himself a facial reconstruction. That is disgusting!"

"Mm..."

"But I," he frowned at her, "Doesn't it bother you? The whole...you know?"

"I learn to take advantage," she answered simply, making him roll his eye, muttering darkly to himself about her and Nami's blatant manipulation.

"I do have a quick question for you, though," she segued, unaware of the spark of interest lighting in her gaze.

"Fire away," he shrugged.

"Which way is north?"

Flicking a thumb over his shoulder at an angle, he gave her a non-verbal answer while also contradicting the idea that he was convinced it was a synonym of 'up'.

"That it?" he asked.

"Yes, Zoro, thank you."

"No problem," he dismissed, before trekking back to his favourite napping spot.

If only she had some way to check where he had pointed, but – ah, it was too far past dusk for that to work. Another time, perhaps, she considered as she retreated to take down more notes.


"Before the Grand Line?" Usopp stared at her, "I'm not sure my memory is that good! But I'll try!"

Robin waited patiently as the sharpshooter made a few more brushstrokes on his work.

"I suppose he was...unremarkable. You know, not...not obviously terrible but just...he wasn't a navigator, you know? I had a bit of trouble on new islands, myself. Still...it was funny when we were travelling with Johnny and Yosaku. They kept asking him where to go and he kept yelling at them that he wasn't a compass and they didn't work that way anyway."

Usopp let out a few more chuckles.

"And...then we tied him up..." he trailed off.

"Did he ever get left and right muddled up?"

"What?! No! He does that?! Ha!" Usopp gasped, slapping his leg and letting paint fly about the men's room before quietening down, "That's really sad, actually."

Robin allowed him a few more moments hoping he would fill the silence with more insight.

"I'd never really thought about how terrible it must be. And you know, we're always making fun of him for it, but...it must be really frustrating, not being able to go out on your own without an escort. I definitely don't want people following me when I—"

He broke off, a blush darkening his cheeks.

"—eh."

"Indeed," Robin nodded.

"But you're right, we didn't do that sort of thing until right about when you joined. Maybe...you don't think he damaged his brain, do you?"

"Actually, I don't," Robin answered.

"But what else could it be?"

"The doctor thinks it is a developmental condition, however that would have manifested in childhood."

"Then it must be brain damage," Usopp concluded, waving his brush, but Robin merely shrugged.


Although she had not yet spoken with everyone, Robin felt the next person she ought to interview was the captain himself. According to rumour, he and Zoro shared a time together when the crew consisted of simply the two of them. He would have more knowledge of Zoro without others, and also of Zoro in the familiar realm of the East Blue.

So she cornered him on his shift.

"Luffy, I was wanting to ask you about Zoro's sense of direction."

"It's pretty terrible," he answered easily, picking his nose, "Why?"

Robin refrained from mentioned the hypocrisy of such a statement, and dove into the questioning.

"What was it like when you first met?"

"When we first met?" Luffy tilted his head to one side, "Ha! He told me he couldn't navigate! I thought it was so funny!"

He gave her a sheepish grin, "But I couldn't either," he confessed.

"Actually," Luffy held up a hand, "He turned me around when I went the wrong way to the marine base. The foot is on the other shoe, now!"

"He did?" Robin jotted that down in her notebook, "Interesting."

"He wasn't so bad on islands. He said if we wanted to head north that was all he could do, though. And that was boring."

"North?"

"Yep. He had a compass or something, I don't know. But he didn't know how to read a map."

"Did you ever see this compass?"

"Nah," Luffy shook his head, "He thought I was so clumsy I couldn't be trusted with anything delicate!"

A wise move, Robin thought in the privacy of his own mind.

"Perhaps..." she decided to branch out a little, knowing that with Luffy he might notice something but not realise it was related to the subject at hand, "Is there anything that strikes you about Zoro? That's different from everyone else?"

"Hmm..." Luffy tilted his head to one side, "He has really good luck. And...do you know, when we wanted to sail to find a doctor, we went in the opposite direction to wherever he pointed?"

Luffy gave her a pig-eating grin.

"It was so funny. Gosh, he's so stupid! Didn't even notice!"

If he had failed to notice the familiar and rather loud chortling Luffy made when pulling a prank, Robin would be very much surprised.

"But we found Drum Kingdom! So, lucky!"

"Very lucky," she nodded.

"And he's really strong," Luffy nodded, "And scary sometimes. All swords and sharp teeth and strong jaws...You know, he reminds me of a shark."


Hypothesis in hand, Robin found herself before the whole crew at the breakfast table the next morning, trying to prevent food from staining her research. The others were occupied with their meal, but she kept sneaking glances at their swordsman, completely at ease amongst his family and having no idea how much she was going to embarrass him. Because surely he thought it was embarrassing if he had never spoken of it.

Strategically seated next to Nami and her pose, hidden out of sight and away from dangerous, flying food, Robin decided to break into the chaos with a brain-wrecking question.

"Zoro, can I ask you something?"

Or, well, the brain-wrecking would come next.

"Sure," he answered around his food, receiving a foot to the head for his troubles. So much for Sanji's concern about concussions.

"Where is the next island?"

In the silence and stillness, a thrown pancake dropping unnoticed onto the floor, Zoro gave her a long look, before pointing.

Hmm...

"Wait, wait, wait!" Nami screamed, bringing her wrist up from where it had been hidden, "That was a lucky guess, right?"

There had been no misdirection, which suggested that he trusted her analysis of his abilities more than the others.

"You...you mean it is that way?!" Usopp cried, "Have I woken up in an alternate universe?!"

As the hubbub of voices concurred, Zoro ate his breakfast in peace with a look of complete indifference.

"'Course the island's that way," he answered easily, making no argument to support his (correct) claim.

"Why 'of course'?" Chopper asked, staring at the disordered swordsman he had been trying to 'cure'.

"Because it is."

"That isn't an answer!"

Zoro shrugged, "Whatever, I'm going to go train."

"You are not!" Nami screamed, "All this time you've been wandering aimlessly in the wilderness without a clue where you're going and now this?!"

"Totally different things," they caught his stray mumble as he kicked his chair in.

"Different how?" Nami challenged.

Robin wondered if perhaps she ought to have postponed the interrogation, as their swordsman looked distinctly uncomfortable and torn between shuffling his feet like a child and murdering all the witnesses.

"Perhaps you should start from the beginning," she offered, making the others stare at her, but she knew what she was talking about, and also, most likely, what he wasn't talking about.

"Yeah, Zoro," Luffy contributed with the weight of his captaincy, "I wanna hear a story."

Zoro sighed, shoulders drooping before he dragged his seat back and dropped into it.

"I've always known where north is," he began, ignoring the gobsmacked looks of the crew, "And that doesn't make me a navigator, it just makes me a compass. And as you know, compasses go a bit haywire on the Grand Line. It took me a long time to get used to their being more than one 'north', or what I sensed to be north. Ha!"

He grinned at them.

"I played you on Drum Kingdom, so you know. We aren't that lucky."

"And you sensed an island in the sky long before we reached it," Robin interjected, looking up from her major points.

"Er, yeah," he scratched his head, "I didn't realise it at first. Skypiea moves around a bit, 'cause it's a floating cloud."

"But..."

He drew a deep breath.

"I've gotten much better at—"

"You have not!"

"Differentiating north and islands and such," he continued, "But I bet you can't even imagine what it's like. You live your whole life finding your way using north and suddenly there's a bunch of different norths! The islands are worse, though. North is at your feet and it feels..."

He rubbed one hand with his wrist.

"It wouldn't be an exaggeration to say that it feels like you're drunk out of your mind, been spun around a thousand times, water-boarded, had your hands and feet switched around and your brain is hanging upside-down in a load of narcotics."

"Ouch," Usopp commented, "Wait, I have to draw that in abstract."

He was promptly glared into silence by multiple parties.

"Are you serious?" Sanji asked Zoro, bringing the conversation back on topic as a cigarette threatened to fall from his lips.

"Absolutely."

While the rest struggled to digest the new information, Robin made a few more notes.

"Would you like to be acknowledged as a contributor to my research?" she asked him, to which he simply rolled his eye.

"Do what you like. I'm going to train."

"What, what just happened?!" Nami demanded as Robin chuckled and the swordsman slunk away to his usual haunt, "Hey! Get back here, we aren't finished!"


A/N: Commemorating the International Day for People with Disability, a shout-out to people with invisible disabilities.