This is it, guys. Funny how I started it after Bridging the Gap and finish it before...
Oh well. It's all good.
This chapter is dedicated to BlackWiltedRoses who definately deserves it for leaving such lovely reviews that really made my day. :-) And it's just that much more special because this is the chapter. It all comes down to this, my friends.
We had a special kind of gala night the next night, where everyone performed any song they wanted to. I thought I knew alot about the art of performing, but nothing could have prepared me for the crowd cheering enthusiastically when I came out onstage, because I felt like theywere actually excitedto hear me sing again.
And I sang Solitary Man, even though I had been told specifically by my parents only months before that there was to be no Neil Diamond at this recital.
I think the real highlight for me was at the end, when Jon, myself and two other singers did an impromptu finale of 'Hey Jude' by the Beatles. It was really popular right then, and I'd recently learned how to play it on the guitar. We really got everyone singing along by the end.
It gave me the realization that, despite it's discrimination, fights, gangs, and problems, I really loved Tulsa in every way.
February 24, 1968
"You nervous?"
That went without saying. I was on a bus, to get on a train, to get ona boat, to get on another train, to get on another bus, to get to the London Academy of Performing Arts. When they called my house to tell me I was accepted, I wasn't sure how to feel. And when I found out Jon was accepted too, I still didn't know how to feel. Even on my way to the train station, never to see my family or friends again for three years, I didn't know how to feel.
The bus ride was enjoyable for everyone but me, probably. They were all talking and laughing...some school friends, Ashley, Hannah, Emilie, Daphne, Sodapop, Ponyboy, Two-Bit, Steve, and my parents and grandmother a couple of seats up.
"I'm pretty nervous, yeah."
"You should be excited, Nay," Ashley smiled, "This is your dream, remember?"
"Yeah, it is..." I said shakily, trying to smile.
"Do you want to know something else?"
"Yeah."
"I found out that Soda actually doesn't like you in that way anymore."
I don't know what to call what I felt just then. I don't want to know what to call it. But I do know that I wanted to do something to get that look off of Ashley's face.
"Really?" My forced voice came out a little higher than usual, but Ashley didn't notice, "How did you find that out?"
"He told me."
"He...he told you that?"
"Yep. Well, I actually made him tell me. I thought he was always interested in you. Now I know. That he was."
"Well, that's...that's good, for him, isn't it? He can...move on with his...life."
"Yeah, it is. I mean, I don't care. I don't like him in that way anymore."
I tightened my grip on my suitcase handle under my seat, and looked out the window.
"Don't be so nervous, Nay, relax."
Relax? I thought, deliriously, Who's not relaxed? I'm fine. I'm great. Really, I've never felt better.
Ashley's done with Soda. If I were staying I might have a chance with him now. But no, I wouldn't, because he's done with me.
This repetative circle of thoughts spun aboutin my head until we got to the train station.
The next little while was unbearably boring and painful on my part. But when I had ten minutes before I had to get on the train, and twenty before I left Tulsa, I realized that my whole life had been leading up to this moment.
After repetative fussing from my parents, and getting the hell squeezed out of me and my cheeks covered in kisses, my Mom, Dad, and Grammy decided to let me go.
"Do you want me to come on and get you settled?" My Mom asked anxiously.
"No, Mom, I'm fine. I'm going to say goodbye to my friends, and then I'm off."
So they fussed for about five more minutes, and let me go.
It was sad, but nonetheless easier to say goodbye to my school friends. They were good school friends, but I never hung around with them other than that. It was really hard to say goodbye to Emilie, Pony, Two-Bit, Steve and Daphne, because I was pretty close to them, especially Daphne and Emilie, who I'd been close to my whole life.
The hardest thing would be saying goodbye to Ashley, Soda and Hannah. And I was really shocked at how much I felt I would miss Ashley. We'd gotten really close lately. I didn't think I'd miss her this much after all the misery she'd caused me.
I checked my watch that I'd recently aquired.
1:14.
I had to get on the train around 1:20. Suddenly, something occured to me that I had to get off my mind.
"Sodapop, could I talk to you for a second?"
"Sure," He looked more or less surprised. We walked about ten feet from the group before I burst into my explanation.
"I think you've figured out by now how Ashley felt about you," he nodded, "So I guess you'd want to know that she doesn't feel that way anymore, and that the whole time she did feel that way, I sorta felt that way too, but I didn't want to hurt Ashley so I hurt myself and you instead and I realized how stupid that was and I'm sorry I did it now but I'm going to London anyway, so I guess we have this experience to laugh at later, probably when I get back in three years."
Up until now, Soda had been watching me closely, almost looking bewildered at my ability to get everything out in one breathe. Now, he smiled slightly.
"That makes things a little better, doesn't it?"
"Yeah. I guess it does. So..." There was silence, "I'll...see you when I'm nineteen."
"That's a long time."
There was another long silence, where I wasn't sure what exactly to do.
"I'm..gonna...go..get on the train..." I guestured with my hand, and turned quickly to walk away.
"Naomi, wait..."
Don't look back don't look back don't look back don't look back...
"Naomi..."
Don't look back don't look back don't look back don't look back...
Ashley and Hannah were both roughly ten feet from me, looking a little confused. Ashley looked a little bewildered, Hannah looked amused.
I didn't have time to study their expressions for long, though, because Soda reached me and turned me around. Actually, come to think of it, it was more or less voluntary on my part. Even so, I was sure that he would only have to say a couple of words to me and I'd stay in Tulsa for the rest of my life. I didn't want to have to talk to him, or I'd lose my gall.
Don't try and convince me to stay don't try and convince me to stay don't try and convince me to stay...
Really, though, he didn't say anything. I was going to say something to Soda, probably spill out everything about how I had to leave while I still had it in me, but he silenced me by pressing his lips against mine...which I was completely okay with. This is not words. ThisI can stand for. I was also vaguely aware of Ashley and Hannah still watching me, but really, I didn't care.
I never really noticed before that either way I chose, I really won. I could stay or go, and I'd love my life. But, this being my life, I didn't make any decisions in my head at the time. Really, this being me, and the guy kissing me being Sodapop...I wasn't capable of rational thought.
"Naomi, your train leaves in five minutes."
Embarrassment is never far behind us. And today, it was in the form of my Mom. I was still partially dazed, but not enough to ignoreanother blow to my dignity. Although, I've never had that much dignity...
"Naomi..." It was Ashley's voice. It took me about two seconds to turn around, two seconds which seemed to take two hours. But, to my utmost surprise, Ashley was smiling. Almost manically.
"You know, you could've told me...anytime..."
"And have you call me a whore again?"
"About that...see,we weren't on the best terms that night, and I thought you were just trying to get me angry."
"What? Get you...No! You seriously think I'd go that far just to hack you off a little?"
"It seemed rational at the time. Guess it wasn't, though."
"I guess it wasn't."
"How're you going to get along without your guitars?"
"I'll have to busy myself some other way. I'm thinking of taking up piano."
"That sounds fun."
I looked around for the sign that would say LAPA on it, and found it quickly enough.I was apprehensive about leaving the large group that was with me, and I looked wildly around for support.
"You're gonna be great, Naomi," Soda whispered in my ear, "Go chase your dream."
I looked at him warily, but he had a wide grin across his face.Everyone else was watching me expectantly. I waved weakly, and walked to the sign, where a strict looking woman was reading from a clipboard.
"Now, we're about to board the train. It's mandatory for me to give you the chance to stay here, as London is far away and you'll find it hard to come home if you change your mind then."
I thought for a second. This is my dream. This is all I ever wanted. But I didn't want to leave my life in Tulsa. I didn't want toleave my family, or my friends...I didn't want to leave Soda, not now!
"Ms. Sterling?"
I jumped to attention.
"Yes?"
"Will you be joining us?"
I hesitated. Did I want to stay? Or go? It was constant in my head.
Stay
Go
Stay
Go
Stay
Go
Stay...
Stay...
Stay...
Stay...
"Yes, I'll be joining you."
I followed them onto the train, still waving to everyone, and thought of my life. I was going to London, with almost all of my worldly belongings, and the little anonymous note, addressed to 'Starling.'
And I looked out the window as Tulsa grew smaller, and finally...
Disappeared.
Bouncing on that natural high that finishing a story gives you.
I bet y'all thought Naomi was gonna stay, didn't you? I knew she was going to leave since the moment I started the story. Haha.
The next story will be called 'Intermission' and it's a little different, but I'll explain it all there.
I'm not going to start said story until 'Bridging the Gap' is finished.
Cheers,
Jamea
