Hi, I'm sorry for the delayed update. I haven't lost inspiration just been juggling a few medical issues.

This chapter is shorter (still over 2,000 words) and doesn't have the scene previewed from the last chapter. The reason for that is that this snippet has a lot of emotions and I didn't want to take that away by adding less emotional bits not between Ron and Hermione.

I swear I cried like four times writing and reading this, I hope you enjoy this long over due discussion between our favorite couple.

Enjoy & Review!


Hermione swore her crying had settled down.

Her breathing was at a more reasonable pace than before. Her cheeks were only damp instead of soaked. She was only trembling slightly rather than shaking.

So excuse her that if in her muddled state she failed to notice that the continuous cries weren't coming from her.

They were coming from Ron.

The second she realizes it, she snaps her head around to face him, ignoring the terrible shooting pain as she does so.

His blue eyes catch hers as he looks down in shame and embarrassment. He tries his best to pull himself together but fails miserably.

At the sight of him Hermione's heart clenches and she suddenly wants to cry for a completely different reason.

"R-Ron." Her unsteady, hoarse voice breaks.

At the sound of her voice he's suddenly reminded of where he is and why he came up here. He came up here with every intention of making sure Hermione was alright, she wasn't supposed to be comforting him over his own guilt.

Hastily, he swiped at his nose with his sleeve and ran a rough hand over his eyes. Doing his best to avoid Hermione's own brown orbs boring into him with nothing but concern.

It makes his heart clench further, the guilt literally shaking him to the core as tears helplessly stream his face.

Before he can make a move to get rid of them himself, he feels a soft hand caressing his cheek and he really has no choice but to melt into her touch.

"Wh-what's wrong?" Her voice was barely audible, he knows it's because of how much she has to strain it just to speak.

Another tear.

"I'm sorry." He says hoarsely, looking away from her in shame.

With a surprising amount of strength she uses the hand on his cheek as leverage to make him face her again. She scrunches her brow in question, silently pleading with him to please tell her, to talk to her.

Ron has done more for Hermione that she could repay in a thousand lifetimes. The least she could do was be a sounding board. Not to mention the sight of Ron, Ron who does his best not to cry around anyone, is crying in front of her. The pain she feels from the sight is almost as great as the aches left behind in her body from Unforgivable curses.

This is a hurt of a different kind.

"It's nothing really." He sniffles. "I'm fine." He tries to assure her, but by the look on her face, he knows there's no use lying to her.

As the tears absently stream from his eyes he feels the pad of her thumb chase them away.

Damnit. If he could stop being such a fucking baby, he doesn't want her to worry.

"Really Mione, don't even think about it. I'm being a git really." He tries to convince her.

"Pl-please?" She whimpers.

And bloody fucking shite, she's his weakness. He spent years denying as much but he knows it. She could bloody ask him for the moon and he'd do his damned best to give to her.

He just can't say no to her.

"It's just-" he stops, choking on a sob but trying to pass it off as a cough. Then his voice drops and his eyes avert to anywhere but hers, "it should've been me." He says slowly, voice breaking over every syllable as the tears flow faster and faster.

Right after the words leave his mouth he feels Hermione shift against him, sitting up to face hom.

His words all but shatter her heart into a million pieces.

She can barely bring herself to imagine him in that place, what they would do to him. The thought of it is just about the only thing worse than living through it herself.

It was never supposed to be Ron. She made sure of it when she stunned him into the snow that night.

It would never, ever be Ron.

"No." She is surprisingly strong and quite commanding. Ron even furrows his brows in shock at the crisp nature of her voice.

When he just stares back at her she begins to frantically shake her head, using one of her shaking hands to swipe away at the tears on his cheeks.

"No." She reiterated her voice cracking, not from weakness, but from emotion.

"Hermione-" He begins to argue.

"No." She says for the third time, because there was nothing to argue. It was Hermione, they couldn't change that, but he needs to understand that she didn't want to change that.

She notices his blue eyes become glassy again, "you saved me." he cries out, "why?"

Because I love you.

She thinks instantly.

"B-because…" she takes a deep breath. No words were adequate enough to try and make him understand why she had done it, nothing besides that four letter word, but she can't bring herself to say it.

She wants to so badly. So much so that her tongue feels like it's burning with the need, but she can't. And it's selfish of her, but she doesn't want to be hurt anymore then she already is and she doesn't think she'll survive if she loses Ron.

That one word would surely drive him away, right back to his girlfriend no less.

"I care." She whispers slowly. "I a-always have." The brunette admits in a tiny voice.

All those months spent ignoring him, running from him, she wishes she could take it back.

Sure, seeing him with Lavender hurt her, the thought of it still stings, but after coming so close to losing Ron forever, she'd rather have him as her friend then nothing at all.

He seems to pick up on the implication which for whatever reason shocks her.

"I've always cared for Mione. I never stopped." He promises, voice so tender, face full of sadness. "I hated myself for months- I still do, thinking you ever thought otherwise. You don't get it but when you were gone that-it-it killed me. I felt like everyday without you it became harder for me to breathe. It was like I was dying slowly, painfully. It felt like I deserved it too." He admitted with a vast amount of vulnerability.

He sees her open her mouth to respond, but he's not done.

"I feel selfish even telling you how I felt knowing what you went through." Or most of it, he thought. "But you have to know how much I cared- how much I still do. I never stopped, I never could."

"I-I couldn't if I-I," she paused and cleared her throat, "tried, a-and I t-tried to." she admitted almost shamefully.

"Mione." He practically moans in pain at her words, hating himself now more than ever.

She put a finger to his lips to silent him. "I-I'm sorry." she squeaked.

I'm sorry I ignored you.

I'm sorry I wasn't the friend you needed.

I'm sorry I couldn't be happy for you.

I'm sorry I can't tell you how much I love you.

He takes one of her hands and squeezes it with his much larger and calloused ones. The warmth emanating from them feels like home. She melts a little at the feeling.

"I'm sorry." He begins, but this time he presses a soft finger to her mouth, knowing she was bound to interrupt. "I'm sorry about everything before what happened and for not finding you sooner- for not letting them have at me instead. I relive that night every night in my head, every single night Hermione."

"I-I do too." She admitted, this is the first time they've talked about her nightmares. "Except they-they take you." The last part is said so quietly he has to bend his head to even hear her.

The confession makes him go stiff.

All those nights she wakes up screaming bloody murder, tears streaming her hallowed cheeks, and sweat sheening over her bruised body is because she's so terrified it was him instead.

Chills work their way up his spine. He knew she cared, that she always has. Even when she was ignoring him, he knew, no matter how many times he tried to convince himself otherwise.

It's hitting him all at once, that she'd die for him, just as he would for her. Hell, she nearly did.

Could it be? Could she really feel the same things for me as I do for her? No, I'm sure she'd feel the same for Harry, yes. But, she didn't mention him? He isn't the one calming her down. It isn't his name she's yelling out…

"I broke up with Lavender." He blurts out, feeling like a complete tosser after the fact. His fling with the blonde was so insignificant now compared to everything, so frugal, he wishes he kept his mouth shut.

Hermione's brown eyes look to him, her brow furrowed in confusion and he swears he sees a little spark of something behind her eyes.

Hope.

He gulps. Feeling her gaze beckoning him on. "It wasn't a lie, I had been trying to for weeks. I even planned to the day after the match, I swear it. She made it bloody hard. That day we left, after everything with your grandmother, Ginny- she came and yelled at me for being such an arse. I knew I was being one too, it just didn't hit me until then, you know? Like everyone was avoiding the topic, so after I tried to break up with Lavender the next morning. She-she thought I was trying to tell her I loved her."

And it hits Hermione all at once. The day in the corridor outside the Great Hall when she heard Lavender claim she loved him and when Ron chased after her. She didn't even give him a moment to speak- she was so stupid!

"I tried again on the train home, I told her it was done. The words left my mouth but she just refused. I had this whole plan, stupid really. I was gonna explain it all to you, that night, under the oak tree." They both shivered at the memory. "I'd give you your gift, I'd explain what happened and I hoped you'd forgive me. When we went back to Hogwarts I'd just go on ignoring Lavender. You and I would be friends again." He says it like it's an absolute fantasy, a barmy dream.

I'll play for the Cannons.

I'll have my own Chocolate Frog Card.

I'll be the richest wizard in the world.

Hermione will be my friend again.

And though there was nothing to forgive. If anything Hermione should be apologizing, but she knows Ron and she knows how he can get. Hopefully in the distant future there will be a day where she will talk her heart out about how sorry she is that he'll be begging her to shut up, but for now, she knows what he needs to hear.

"I forgive you." She gets out horsley despite the burning sensation in her throat. "I a-always have." And it makes little sense, but she really hopes he gets it.

A small smile creeps its way onto his lips. It's sad looking and shaking slightly, but he looks so hopeful, she even notices his shoulders drop in relife. "Thank you." He croaks.

He feels Hermione softly nudge him backward until his head hits his pillows. Instantly he feels the warmth of her small body and she lays softly against his chest, her hand resting right where his heart is.

The soft thrumming of it gives her the comfort she needs.

Absently his fingers find her soft hair, still twisted into a plait, but he runs his fingers over it slowly, just loving having her so close.

They sit like this for a long time. Their eyelids become droopy as exhaustion begins to creep over them, but this time it's not unwelcome.

They both know this sleep will be different. It won't be full of mad witches and dangerous werewolves.

It'll be calm.

Just as Ron is about to let the sleep take over he feels a pair of soft lips on his cheek, ones much like the ones from the day of his first Quidditch match.

When he peers down he sees Hermione's beautiful brown eyes glistening.

"I'd- I'd let them take me all over again." She claims sleepy.

And he wants to protest. Talk some sense into her about such a careless thought, but she goes on.

"I know you'll always find me."

And the softness of her voice, the look of pure adortion on her face, he can't ruin this moment.

Instead, he pushes her head gently back onto his chest and pulls her tighter.

I'll always find you. His actions tell her.

The beating of his heart picks up after her proclamation and Hermione hears as much from where she's perched on his chest.

She let's the thumping lull her to sleep.

It's not the beating of Hermione's heart that finally puts Ron into the depths of slumber.

Instead it's the tingle on his cheek where her lips were, the warmness of her body surrounding him, and one single thought.

That maybe, just maybe, they could heal together.


This was an emotional one to write, but I hope it paid off!

I promise next chapter will have the previewed scene from before.

Here it is again to refresh your memory!:

Ron raced to find her and when he did, the sight made his chest hurt.

Hermione was against one of the orange walls in his room, frantically shaking her head as she rocked back and forth.

He suddenly slides in front of her, hands reaching out to cup her cheeks in his hands.

"Mione, what is it? What's wrong?" He asks frantically, noting the absolute fear in her eyes.

"B-Bellatrix." Hermione manages, voice sounding strangled.

"What?" He blanches, thinking maybe it was just another nightmare, but he knows she's been awake the entirety of the day. There's no way she dozed off.

"S-she's he-here." Her voice breaks.

Fuck.

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