Chapter Nineteen

Sara was leaning against her car, watching him approach.

"Do you want to take a nap before we go? You look really wiped out."

"I'll drive him," Jim said, still wired, walking up beside him.

"Situation solved," Grissom said, climbing into the passenger side of his car and setting his harness.

"Thanks, Jim,"

"No problem, kiddo," Jim said, getting into Grissom's Denali.

After a few minutes of adjusting the seat and mirrors, and while Grissom fell asleep, Jim followed Sara back to the townhouse.

7:00pm

"Hey, man, we're home," Jim said, setting the car in park.

Sara opened the door and helped a very tired Grissom out of the car and up the stairs. Jim waved and drove away. Sara opened the door and Grissom laid his electronics in the dish and walked upstairs. She turned off the lights on the first floor and walked up after him. He managed to take off his coat and shoes before falling asleep on the bed.

She washed her face and got ready for bed, shucking off her clothes and slipping on her nightgown.

"Gil? Come on, get out of your clothes," Sara cajoled.

Grissom replied incoherently.

Sara started to unbutton his shirt, when he suddenly woke up, very anxious.

"What are you doing?"

"I was unbuttoning your shirt so you could put on your pajamas."

Grissom took a breath and got up to walk into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. She heard running water, but it stopped and he still didn't come out. Hurt, she got into bed and rolled away from the door, turning out the light. Twenty minutes later, Grissom left the bathroom and walked silently to the closet. He removed his clothes and put on just pajama bottoms. Very carefully, he got into bed and rolled towards her. He reached his right hand out for her waist. She rolled out of his reach, and he lay there, miserable. He moved closer and placed his hand on her hip, kissing her shoulder.

"I'm sorry, please forgive me. I'm sorry,"

She was silent, the tears streaming down her face, keeping her from replying. He felt her crying and pulled himself against her back.

"Please, don't cry. I'm sorry. I really am." He said, his voice catching as his emotions started to get caught up with hers.

Suddenly, he started to cry as well. He turned away from her, ashamed of his emotions that were so open in front of her. She reached for his shoulder but he didn't calm. A few minutes later, she sat up and turned on the light.

"Hey, what are we doing, crying in bed? We should be sleeping. Please don't cry, Gil. I forgive you. It's okay." She reached for him again and he rolled to her, placing his head on her shoulder, his hand on her left hip.

"My father was a good man," he whispered softly. "He started a chain of battered women's shelters about twenty years ago. In addition, he founded three facilities for children of abusive households to go. All of them are in a perpetual trust."

Sara waited, not knowing how to continue for a minute.

"Let's sleep now, okay?"

"I love you Sara." He said, barely able to keep his eyes open.

"I love you, too." She said, turning off the bed side light.

Friday 2:00am

Grissom woke from a dream that escaped his conscious memory. Sara had rolled away from him, wrapped in the blanket, and was sleeping soundly. He got out of bed and went into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. Turning on the lights, he filled the sink with cold water and immersed his head. Blowing air through his nostrils, he stayed under the water as long as he could. Finally, he stood up and toweled off. Turning off the lights, he padded to the closet and took out a zip up sweatshirt and running shorts, putting them on.. He reached into the small desk in the corner of the room, and pulled out a card and envelope. Picking up a pen, he sat in the chair closest to the foot of the bed, watching Sara sleep. Setting his pen to the page, he wrote in the semi-darkness.

My love,

As I sit here and watch you sleep, I again am enthralled by your beauty. I don't say it enough, but I love you. I love your intelligence, your smile, your laugh; all of you. I admire your strength and your emotional honesty. I wish I was

more like you.

I want to thank you for your unwavering strength and support these last

few months. I know now, that I most certainly could not have made it without

you. You make me a whole man, a happy man, when I thought it was impossible.

Love∞

Gil

He placed the note in its butterfly embossed envelop and set it on the table beside the bed before going out for a run.. Walking downstairs, he grabbed his keys and left.

4:00am

Grissom walked into the townhouse and felt alone. He also needed a bottle of water. He headed to the fridge and pulled a bottle of water. Downing it quickly he leaned against the counter in the kitchen. Soon, he felt the immense fatigue set in and he headed up to the bedroom. He stripped to his running shorts and fell asleep on top of the comforter.

6:00am

Sara woke up and stretched, feeling Grissom asleep next to her on top of the comforter. She sat up to get out of bed and noticed the note. She took it and headed into the bathroom to read it without disturbing Grissom. Walking into the bathroom, she shut the door and then turned on the lights. Sitting on the closed toilet, she started to read. She smiled and then began to cry at his honesty. Wiping the tears from her eyes, she turned off the lights and walked out into the bedroom. She walked to the left side of the bed and kissed his forehead. He didn't move, asleep to the world. Sara put on some sweats and headed downstairs. She made some coffee and ate some yogurt. Feeling a little anxious, she looked at her watch and remembered she needed to go to her house to finish some tasks.

7:00am

Grissom woke up alone. He was edgy again. As he sat up, he remembered his night run and realized where he needed to go during the day. Slipping back on his shoes, he pulled on a new shirt and headed downstairs. He grabbed his keys, a LVPD baseball cap, and left the townhouse.

9:00am

Grissom walked up the stairs to the townhouse feeling energized but exhausted. He walked in, set his keys in the dish, locked the door behind him and listened for Sara. Her keys weren't in the dish, the stereo was off; he was alone. Slowly, he walked upstairs. As he entered the bedroom, he began to take off all of his clothes. He continued to the bathroom and started the shower. Moments later, he got in and reveled in the hot water on his sore and tired muscles. He began to remember his goal for the run. He saw his father's grave at sunrise. Benny was surprised at first and then realized that he was going to see more of him now. Grissom finished with his shower and turned off the water. He dried off and walked to the closet. Opening drawer after drawer, he found a pair of silk pajamas that his mother had given him. He put on the bottoms and crawled into bed.

12:00pm

Sara came back into the town house. It was quiet. She noticed his keys in the dish and headed upstairs to check on him. Grissom was asleep under a sheet, the comforter lay on the floor. He was breathing quietly and was still in his movements. She settled into a chair to watch him sleep.

12:15pm

"Hi," he said, seeing her in the shadows.

She looked at the clock and stretched.

"Hi, how are you feeling after your run?" she replied.

"I went out twice. I feel good, tired, but good," he said softly.

She slowly got out of the chair and crawled into bed. She lay back against the pillows as he moved to kneel by her side. He traced her face slowly with his hand, committing it to memory in the pale light afforded by the blinds. She reached for his face. Slowly, he stretched out next to her and then reached over to her. His hand felt her breast, the nipple already aroused through her t-shirt. He moved, supporting his weight on his left elbow as he kissed her mouth gently. She moaned, just smelling him, feeling him on her. He continued to kiss her as his hand found the bottom of her t-shirt. He pulled it up to her waist and stopped just as he felt her hand search for the top of his pajamas. Grissom rolled away to give her more room. Sara pushed him on his back and sat across his hips. She pulled her t-shirt and bra over her head, letting them fall to the side. Slowly, she lay down on top of his bare chest, feeling his warmth as she began to kiss his mouth. Grissom reached his hands around to her back, feeling her muscles jump from her shoulders to her hips. They kissed passionately, caressing and fondling each other until they were both naked and suddenly looking at each other in the glow from the sun.

"God, you are beautiful. I've missed you so much," he said, his eyes searching her face.

"I've missed you, too." she teased as she took his hand and planted it on her hip.

"Oh, yeah, I guess you have," he said, huskily, thrusting his finger into her.

"I love you, Sara," he said, slowing up his rhythm.

She ground into his hand, kissing him hard, her tongue dancing around his. She reached for him and stroked his erection.

"Slow down," he urged.

"No way, now, Gil, now," she panted.

He rolled over and quickly inserted himself into her. She was on the verge of an orgasm simply from his hand but he brought her back and then pushed her again to the brink. She pulled at his hair, nipped at him, raked her short nails on his chest, and it just drove him on.

"Sara, I'm coming, oh sweetheart," Grissom said, his voice raw and urgent.

"Harder, come harder," she demanded.

He reached his hands out to hold onto something for purchase, finding the top of the bed, and complied. Moments later, they both came to shattering climaxes, drenched in sweat. Holding each other tightly, neither moved until he pulled out and tucked in behind her. He felt her heartbeat and she heard his breathing. Hers didn't slow and she turned to face him before lowering her body on to his. He opened his eyes and smelled their scent on her. He reached down to her buttocks and shifted her up to him, slightly. She put her hands to his face, holding it steady while she kissed him. He ran his hands up and down her back as his passion grew. He ground his hips into hers until she sat up on her knees and lowered herself onto him. She moved her hips in a small circle, watching his face contort in pleasure before pulling at him.

"God, oh, god, Sara,"

She tightened her internal muscles around him and he lost control. Flipping her in one move he started into her, kissing her breasts as he pumped in a fast rhythm. She started to moan, grabbing his shoulders hard.

"Are you okay?" he asked, stopping for a moment.

"Unless you stop, I'm great," she teased.

He continued, trying to follow her lead, climaxing after her. He rolled onto his back, his chest heaving. She rolled over and touched his chest.

"Please, I don't think I can do that again."

"Well, no, not right now. But we don't go back to work until tonight." She said, kissing him before falling asleep.

"Oh, yeah," Grissom noted the clock, and smiling, fell asleep himself.

5:00pm

"Grissom, your mother wants you to IM her now." Sara said, standing in the bedroom doorway.

He was lying on his stomach, his hands under his head, dead asleep.

"Gil?" she asked as she walked up to him.

Sara put a hand on his shoulder, used to him waking up immediately at the touch of another person. He didn't move. She panicked slightly, and moved her hand to his carotid; thump thump.

She shifted her hand to his head, running her fingers through his hair.

"Mmm," he replied, surfacing.

"Gil, you need to throw some clothes on and talk to your mother. She was expecting you to call last night."

"Oh, damn, I forgot, the opening." Grissom said, sitting up slowly.

"See you downstairs,"

"Thanks," Grissom said, standing to walk to the shower.

He took a quick shower and then put on his work clothes. Brushing his hair back with his fingers, he headed downstairs. Sara was sitting in front of the television watching a documentary. Grissom walked to the kitchen and poured himself a cup of coffee. He continued to the lab room and turned on the computer. While he waited to be connected, he fed the cockroaches and checked them, making notes in his book. He heard the tone, and walked to the computer. Sitting down, he sipped his coffee and then waited.

Where were you? I expected to hear from you last night.

Hi, Mom, how was the show?

It was wonderful. Roger flew in and surprised me.

Sara and I had to work We got home, had dinner and crashed. I'm so sorry I

didn't call.

That's all right, dear. I just wanted to make sure you were fine. I've been worried

about you. You sound happier.

I am. I've been reinstated to work by both doctors (obviously) and I went running

twice today. I'm a little tired but better I think.

Do you have to work tonight?

Yes, both Sara and I are working all weekend.

Take care and give my love to Sara.

I will, Mom. Give my love to Nuncle.

I will, have a safe night at work.

Grissom saw his mother sign out and checked his other email. There wasn't anything earth shattering, so he signed out and turned off his computer. He took his coffee and walked back out to the living room.

"Your Mom okay?"

"Yeah, Roger came down yesterday and helped out. It took some pressure off." He said, sipping his coffee.

"Gil, you okay?" Sara asked, concerned.

"Yeah, sorry, lost in thought for a moment. I really need to eat something. I think dinner was the last time I ate." Grissom said, walking into the kitchen.

"Yes, and I can testify, you really didn't eat a lot." Sara said, following him.

Grissom looked at the fridge, the freezer and the contents of the cabinets. He sighed and turned to face her, not seeing anything that interested him.

"Why don't we go to DiNardo's? We haven't been there in a long time." Sara suggested.

"Perfect, we could leave in twenty minutes, if that's okay with you,"

"Sure, I could be ready." She said, looking at him.

"Great," Grissom replied drawing her in for a hug and quick kiss.

"Okay, well, I'll go take a shower and change." Sara said, leaving him in the kitchen.

Grissom took a sip of his coffee and then walked into the living room. He sat in one of the comfortable chairs and began to read the latest forensics journal.

Sara came downstairs thirty minutes later and found Grissom asleep in his chair, the journal on the floor, having slipped from his fingers. She glanced at her watch and decided to let him sleep until seven-thirty. Sitting down opposite, she picked up the Anita Shreve book that she had started last week while waiting for court.

7:15pm

Grissom was dreaming, his eyes coursing back and forth beneath his eyelids. His body tense and he started to breath heavily. Sara looked at him, concerned. She put down her book and walked over to him, kneeling by him. Gently, she removed his hand from its death grip on the arm of the chair.

"Gil, wake up," Sara said softly, squeezing his hand.

He tried to pull his hand back, still caught in his dream. She held on and raised her voice.

"Gil, wake up!" Sara said loudly.

He woke up suddenly and leaned forward, breathing heavily, lowering his face to his hands. She reached her hand to his back and gently rubbed it. He stood quickly and walked into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. He filled the sink with cold water and dunked his head, feeling his temperature drop to normal. Blindly, he reached for a towel and wiped his face. He looked at his face in the mirror, noting the circles under his eyes, and the redness of his eyes. He took one shaky breath, and walked out into the living room. Sara had taken his coffee cup into the kitchen. He went up to her and turned her to face him. He gently embraced her, leaning his head on hers.

"I'm sorry. I can't stop dreaming about the last two weeks." He whispered.

She held him tightly, smelling his shampoo and just him.

"One day at a time, Gil. Okay? If you want to get to work early, we should get going." She said, pulling back to look at him.

Slowly he reached his hands to her face, just staring at her, holding her before leaning in and kissing her passionately.

"I love you, Sara Sidle," he said, hoarsely.

"I love you, Gil Grissom," she replied.

His stomach growled and they smiled as they got their gear together to go to work. As an afterthought, he went to the refrigerator and pulled out his mild migraine medication and stuck it in his pocket. The left the townhouse, and got into her car, driving the short distance to DiNardo's. They parked and walked in, hand in hand, sitting at a corner booth.

"Evening, what can I get you folks?" the waitress asked.

"I'll have a small green salad and the vegetarian lasagna."

"Anything to drink?"

"Water will be fine," Sara replied.

"And you sir?"

"I'll have the veal parmigiana and water, please."

"Spaghetti or linguini with that, sir?"

"Linguini, please," Grissom said, shutting the menu and handing it to her.

Sara watched him as he settled, shifting his legs. She reached for his right hand, and held it, looking at him.

"Okay?" she said, her thumb rubbing the back of his hand.

"Yeah, I'm sorry,"

"No need to apologize. You're not in this alone, Gil. Please don't forget that." Sara said, softly.

He couldn't look at her, his emotions running high, happy to have the waitress be a welcome interruption.

"Your green salad, miss," she said, placing the plate in front of Sara.

He withdrew his hand and watched her eat in silence. He sipped his water and let his mind wander. She watched him turn more introspective.

"Hey?" she called, getting his attention.

"Yes?"

"It's okay, you know, to be sad about your father but you said you felt a certain lightness and happiness. What happened to that?"

Grissom smiled at her, not knowing how to answer. The waitress removed her salad plate and brought their main courses.

"Gil?" she prodded.

"I don't know, really, I don't it's just that sometimes, I get…serious."

"I know that, but right now, all is good with the world. Your Mom just had a terrific art show, you are healthy as is Jim, and the mystery of your father is solved. You need to concentrate on the Entomology convention in Chicago next month."

Grissom looked up to her and smiled slightly. She was right and he knew it; he just didn't feel that way. He started to eat his dinner. Sara watched him as he devoured his dinner in record time. And just at the moment that he finished his meal and set his fork down on his plate, she saw a moment of pure happiness flash on his face. She grinned at him and he grinned in response, relaxing for the first time in many months. He reached across the table for her hand and held it.

"Thank you," he said softly.

Sara just grinned at him as she finished her dinner. They both had coffee, paid the bill, and then headed for her car. As she prepared to insert the key into the lock, Grissom gently turned her to face him. He kissed her deeply.

"I love you, ad infinitum." He said, pulling back to look at her eyes.

She kissed him back; her hands tenderly touching his ears that she knew were so sensitive.

She giggled at his groans and pulled back.

"We need to get to work," Sara stated.

Grissom sighed and walked to the passenger side, getting into the Tahoe. Sara got in and started the engine as they put their harnesses on. Ten minutes later, they were at the lab. Grissom noticed that Jim had brought his Yukon back to the lot. They walked in hand in hand.

"Hi, Steven,"

"Hi, Grissom, here are your messages. Good to have you back full time,"

"Thanks," Grissom said, looking at him for a moment before heading to his office.

Sara turned to go to the locker room and deposit her purse before heading to the break room to wait for assignments.

"How is he?" Nick asked as Sara walked in.

"I'll let you make the call,"

Warrick sipped on coffee while Brian sat casually at the table, filling in for Greg. Fifteen minutes later, Grissom walked in.

"Hi, so far it's an easy night. We still have the desert case to finish. Sara and Nick, would you see to the evidence from the Fake Zack. Warrick and Brian, you have another DB at the Rio. Please look at Greg's notes from last week. There might be a pattern. I'm going to stay close to the lab and take care of paperwork. Call me if you have any issues."

"Welcome back, Griss," Nick said softly.

"Yeah, man, welcome back, we missed you." Warrick echoed.

"Thanks, you guys, that means a lot to me," Grissom said, smiling.

"We'd better be going. See you in a few," Sara said, walking up to him and kissing him on the cheek.

He didn't flinch, make a face or move; all Grissom did was smile and blush slightly.

Yeah, he was going to be okay, the other CSIs thought as they left him in the break room.