Writers note: Credit to the Bioware Mass Effect Andromeda - N7 Day Trailer - for Shepard's speech

Secret research facility and shipyards, Outer Council Space, Nimbus Cluster

The three-day journey from Thessia to the Initiative staging system had been a busy one for Shepard. Once they had transferred from the shuttle to the Asari Republics Navy cruiser she was caught up with intelligence reports from Arcturus Station, the latest political situation with both the Council and Earth Government and most importantly for her the Normandy's current mission status.

She also spent as much time as she could with Vega and Kalia, who would be both medic and added security for her son, it was important for Shepard to know that at least her son's two guardians would be able to get along together.

From what she saw they seemed friendly enough and she really hoped that they would become friends. She still hated the idea of sending her son and her better self to another Galaxy. It felt like the Reapers had already won a victory, had drawn first blood before even showing up.

Checking herself in the mirror to ensure her new Captain's dress uniform, complete with medal ribbons, was spick and span she settled her cap on her head she straightened her shoulders ready to perform her duty.

Her addition to the official Systems Alliance party, which included at least three Admirals and more senior politicians than she could accommodate in the Normandy mess, was last minute but very welcomed by the Andromeda Initiative press team. After all you didn't often get a Galaxy hero to metaphorically break a bottle of champagne on a new ship.

Of course, it was no ordinary ship and she was stunned by its actual size as the cruiser flown past where it was moored still in the massive shipyard complex that had built it.

The station where they were now docked had a clear view of the Nexus and the shuttles and freighters that were ferrying the last of the passengers, crew and supplies to the ship. It was in this station's docking bay that she would say goodbye to her son and from its viewing platform she would make the speech she had been pressganged into recording for the expedition and the Galaxy at large.

Once out of her room she moved quickly to the docking ramp and tried to get lost in the crowd, she needed to find Vega and her son before she started her official duties. Making a bee line for dock five where the last shuttles would be leaving, she heard her name called several times but kept her head down and kept going.

"Didn't think you were going to make it past your welcoming committee," Vega smiled and they shared a quick hug.

"I think they may send out search parties soon," she turned to face the human standing just a little way off, "Sloane, good to see you again."

"So, it is you," the Security Director reached out an arm for a warrior clasp, "all that braid and tin weighing you down."

She pulled her comrade who she'd fought alongside in the Skyllian Blitz into a half hug and smiled, "yeah it really impresses the arse holes who keep trying to kill me."

"This last-minute addition is something to do with you?" Sloane asked moving her eyes to Vega.

"Let me work this out," she looked at Vega and scrunched up her face as if in thought, "fourth cousin twice removed," she laughed "Yeah she's family, and her kid, so I'd appreciate if you kept an eye out for them."

Sloane nodded at Vega and smiled, "You got it", then continued, "You know this is the only Alliance officer I ever had any respect or time for. But we need to get going, it was good to see you Shepard."

The other women moved in close and spoke so only Shepard could hear her, "if it's true about what's coming, I know you'll be right in the middle of it, give em shit. If this wasn't such a great opportunity for a fresh start I might have been tempted to stay and fight."

She nodded, "it may not be easy going when you get the other side either. If you need her Vega is handy with a weapon."

They stepped apart and she noticed that Kalia had been speaking to Matriarch Nuara. Liara had said that she was one of the people who had made this happen and was working on behalf of the T'Ara. She smiled at how Liara had ended that piece of information 'but you should not hold that against her Shepard'.

The Matriarch came towards her and they exchanged a Siari greeting.

"I am aware of the needs of the child your cousin is bringing and as such I have given special dispensation, as requested, for both Larson and Matron Kalia to delay their entry into their cryo stasis for the first two years of our flight. We have a skeleton crew who will be running final trials and ensuring everything is in order before we go fully automatic flight. As such they will have company."

"Thank you, Matriarch we really appreciate your help and kindness, in this matter."

"It would be difficult to say no to a favour for our Galactic hero, or that bondmate of yours," she said with a genuine smile, "now we must get to the ship and I believe you have a speech to make for us."

Vega moved quickly back to her and pulled her into a strong hug, "I will make sure he's safe and has the life he should have… please do everything you can to survive and… and…"

"If there is a way, I will keep her safe… but we'll both be thinking of you and what you're doing for us and John… know that Vega."

They parted and Vega ran up the ramp without a backwards look and she, reluctantly, began walking back towards the crowds, the speeches and the celebrations. She felt as if a part of her had been chopped off and was heading out towards the huge ship.

The Nexus, Presidium Torus

Vega and Kalia stepped off the elevator they had taken from cryo pod bay allocated to John and where they would both eventually make the six-hundred-year journey to the Andromeda Galaxy.

They joined the crowds already filling the central torus of the huge station ship, which was a mini version of the presidium on the Citadel. People were gathering around huge vid screens relaying the speeches from both the well-wishers on the station and the Andromeda Initiative leaders on the Nexus.

Cheers and clapping rose respectfully as Jien Garson herself brought things to a close with only one final message that would be relayed to the Ark's that had set out a week before and who would receive it before their crew and passengers also entered their cryo sleep.

"And we are honoured to have someone I think we can all admire and respect, send us on our way with a message on behalf of all those we are leaving behind in the Milky Way," although she was on the ship the women turned as if to indicate someone standing close to her, "Captain Lydia Shepard of the Alliance Navy and the first human Council Spectre."

The cheers and applause, including some whistling and shouts, were deafening as Shepard made her way to the microphone.

Vega stiffened as she looked at the larger-than-life image on the screens all around her. She recognised the strain on Shepard's face and in her body language; and the charming smile that did not reach those familiar green eyes. Although those who did not know her well would not have picked up on anything as the captain of legend carried herself, as usual, with supreme confidence.

She felt a warm hand slip into hers and Kalia leaned into her, glancing to look at the Asari they exchanged smiles as she understood how hugely emotional this moment was for her companion as well.

"We are travellers.

Constantly moving forward.

And looking back.

Alone and as one.

We have no choice but to try.

For our insatiable curiosity.

For our fear for what should happen if we don't.

You are that explorer now.

We will say goodbye, and you will look back one last time.

And know that wherever you go we will be with you."

Shepard nodded her head once and moved away from the microphone and out of camera shot.

Vega realised she had been holding her breath… felt that Shepard was speaking directly to her… but that the message was also about Shepard herself.

The cheering was as loud but there were tears as well, the realisation of the momentous step they were all about to take sinking in for the people all around her.

Looking at Kalia she saw the tears in Asari's eyes as she spoke, leaning in close to be heard over the tumult, "that was such a profound poem, so beautiful."

"A poem?" She said the surprise clear in her tone.

"Yes, in the old Asari style if I am not mistaken," Kalia smiled her tears fading away, "if you are not familiar perhaps, I could share some with you, we will have to find things to do while we wait to sleep."

"That would… yeah that sounds good." Hell, why not and perhaps she'd teach Kalia how to play Terran fives or better yet chess. Although thinking about it Asari were probably all naturals and she'd be on a permanent hiding to nothing.

She squared her shoulders and turned to face her Asari companion deciding in that moment this was the beginning of the rest of her life.

"Shall we find something to eat while they put all these noisy passengers to sleep?"

Kalia laughed and nodded and they made their way through the throngs of Human's, Asari, Krogan, Turian and Salarian all excited about the adventure they had just embarked upon.

Alliance long range shuttle Atlantis, alongside SSV Normandy – Exodus Cluster

The two members of her security team stood either side of the air lock that was currently being joined to one of the Normandy's air locks via a docking collar. They had been allocated to her, against her strenuous refusal, during her stop over on Arcturus station where Shepard's orders were updated and she received the most up to date intelligence briefings.

Admiral Anderson would return to Arcturus on the Atlantis once he had completed his handover and she was once again the commanding officer of the Normandy and its Phoenix Wolf Pack. Thankfully her two babysitters would transfer their close protection duties to Anderson. After all she had more than enough combat troops under her command to keep her out of trouble, probably.

She had managed vid calls to Liara on a regular basis both on the way to the Andromeda Initiative dockyards and on her journey from there to Arcturus. But once back on active duty she had only managed one call during her three days stay at the Alliance base and not at all on the two-day shuttle journey to rendezvous with the Normandy.

Her thoughts went back to the last conversation she'd had with her bondmate who had been furious about the T'Ara's continued refusal to let her research their archives and find the Prothean weapon designs that might just give them an edge over the Reapers.

Liara had dispatched two of her best research assistants to the Mars Archives but that was looking for a single grain of sand on a beach if you didn't know which grain of sand you were looking for. The archives themselves held a huge repository of knowledge and data that Humanity and the Council had been working through for hundreds of years and during that time they had barely scratched the surface.

The air lock indicator lights switched to green and she could see across the short docking collar into the Normandy as the door swished open. Picking up her bag she returned the salute and walked across into her ship.

"Attention Captain on deck," Tash announced as she stepped onto the Normandy and a guard of honour stood to attention.

"Welcome back Shepard," Anderson said and they exchanged salutes.

"Good to be back," turning to Tash and the assembled parade she saluted and said, "carry on XO."

"I want to get underway as quickly as I can I've been recalled to Earth," Anderson said and she fell into step alongside him as they walked to the conference room.

Once inside they sat at the large table and Anderson smiled at her, "they're going to keep you busy the next few months running around the Traverse and keeping an eye on the Batarian's."

"It would seem so. Do you know why they want you back on Earth?"

"I'm not supposed to know," he gave a short laugh, "but Admiral Hackett wants me to iron out some problems we have with the monitoring of the deep space listening network."

"That sounds…" before she could finish, he groaned and replied.

"Like the worst kind of desk job and lots of meetings with private contractors… I think I might prefer to be posted back to the Citadel."

She laughed, "Is there anything I need to know about the squadron or the Normandy crew?"

"You have an excellent crew Shepard, and your new XO is shaping up very nicely," he stood, "I'll just run you through our last couple of missions in the Traverse then I'll get out of your way."

They both moved to a security console and spent the next hour running through mission logs and recordings.

Command deck, SSV Normandy, Indris System, Kite's Nest

Shepard felt the beads of sweat coalesce together and begin their journey down her spine. Looking around at the other members of her team some were suffering, like her, with the extreme heat and others were not.

Her Turian and Krogan officers showed no signs of heat stress, but she knew it was having an effect. The Human and Asari crew were experiencing symptoms of exhaustion from the sustained high levels of heat and extremely high humidity.

The Salarian crew members were at risk of permanent health damage and possible death so for the last week they had been living in a bubble specifically constructed for them on the flight deck which was lowering the heat but more importantly lowering the humidity.

That was not sustainable long term so one lesson learned from this two-week full stealth mission in Batarian space was that Salarian's and ship temperatures that reached and exceeded 40 degrees Celsius combined with high humidity did not mix.

And Hyperthermia seemed to affect both Human's and Asari within a similar range. She didn't want to think about for how long, indeed, who would survive if they ever had to use full stealth for extended periods to avoid being hunted by Reapers.

"I know the last week has been really hard on all of us but once we confirm all systems are nominal on our sensor platforms and hook them into the rest of the quantum comms buoy network our work here is done," she checked in with her chief engineer, "so what's the time line on that?"

"We are ready to activate the platforms and the relay buoy, on your orders Captain. And we'll know within hours if the Batarian defence systems are able to detect them." Adam's replied, "However, we can't tell if the telemetry is being received on the early warning system until we are able to break full stealth and end our comms blackout."

She nodded at her Chief then turned to the rest of her officers, "Let's get this job finished and then get back to the Exodus Cluster and pick up the rest of the squadron."

Systems Alliance orbital station Zulu, Planet 2 (Borr), Moon 5, Asgard System

The view on the way in had been spectacular, not of the tired and out of date station, but the three massive freighters that were taking up most of the docking space.

As Tash trotted down Normand's docking ramp and onto the exposed docking platform she glanced quickly at the ships as they seemed to loom over everything and completely blocked out the view to space.

She moved quickly towards the access air lock for the station, and although the crew had been given thirty-six hours furlough as the exec officer, she still had work to do.

Once inside the air lock, which also served as a lift, she hit level thirteen where she was to meet the station chief about the new additions to their squadron. Or their baby-sitting duty as it had been named by some of the crew.

She stepped through the doors into a secure lobby and was immediately challenged by one of the two Alliance security guards for her ID. As they scanned her the sergeant in charge spoke.

"Take one of the lockers," he indicated the wall behind her, "and leave your helmet and weapons."

"I noticed our ship was scanned pretty hard before we docked is the station on alert?"

"No offence intended Commander but we are permanently on high alert now after that business on Arcturus," he ground out his last few words and she saw the distaste on his face when he spoke of the attempted coup and assassination of most of the Navy's senior officers.

Nodding she gave them a smile, "glad to hear we aren't letting our guard down. The slimy bastards aren't finished."

After checking directions on her omni-tool and began walking quickly along a wide corridor with its external wall offering plexi-glass views out across docking platforms and out to the planet below.

The station was as run down and shabby on the inside as it looked on the outside. It must have been due an overhaul or even replaced. The Alliance never looked short of credits but maybe somewhere corners were being cut, that couldn't be good given what they were about to face.

"Not my concern," she said under her breath and knocked on the door to the station commander's office.

"Enter", a rumbling voice sounded from inside the room.

She walked in and stood to attention in front of a very untidy desk. The officer she was looking at and a quick glance around the space and told her everything she needed to know about the man in front of her.

The room was furnished with expensive and very much not regulation furniture including a well-stocked drinks cabinet. Between two large leather sofa's a table was still cluttered with dirty glasses and dishes.

"So, you're the great Captain Shepard's right hand," he flipped open a chrome box and after picking out one of the cigars contained within made a gesture with his hand.

"From Bandicor," she said rolling the one she had selected between her fingers. He nodded and she wondered just how he had managed to get his hands on this rare and prohibited merchandise.

He lit his and blow out a cloud of the heavily perfumed smoke with its tell-tale hint of red. She declined the light he offered her.

"I'll save it if you don't mind," she pocketed it and was glad she was wearing gloves knowing that even the hint of red sand she could pick up from the outer leaf would be enough to trigger her cravings.

Nodding he stood and indicated the sofa's as he made his way across, he said, "I heard tell you were quite the merc before your cousin rescued you and brought you back to the fold," he settled his bulk onto the seating and blew out another huge cloud of smoke.

She bristled inside at his description of her but made no show of it deciding she might just find out more if she played into his expectations, "yeah... made a pretty good living and I still do a little trade on the side."

Hoping he'd catch her meaning she let her words hang between them as she took the drink he offered and downed it in one. The hint of sand in the room from his infused cigar and the knowledge she had one in her pocket was beginning to shred her nerves.

"Where are the transports going," his tone was casual and he leaned forward and poured her another drink.

Nodding her thanks and trying not to down in one what she realised was Turian brandy she said, "sealed orders and the boss will only tell me which way to point the ship."

"You mean she doesn't trust you enough to share her orders," he sneered at her as he took another pull on the cigar through a greasy grin.

She shrugged, "well in the wrong hands the location of the stores could be… profitable," finishing the rest of her drink she reached for another without invite needing to wash away the feint taste of red sand on her lips.

"I've made certain arrangements that will make that information available to me but," she watched him take another long pull on the cigar, the end burning red, the smoke already snaking its way back out his nostrils. She almost missed what he was saying.

"In my experience having and insurance policy is just good business." He was watching her intensely and she could feel herself beginning to sweat as the craving gnawed at the edges of her mind. "I see you still like to indulge in some of the pleasures the people we work for don't approve of."

Standing abruptly, she did her best to smile, "only when I'm not working."

What was she doing… she wasn't finished, they needed to know if he was Cerberus or just black market? The plan she and Shepard pulled together, the rumour they had planted for him to find, all last minute when they had been alerted by Alliance Intelligence that a couple of the new deep space emergency storage dumps had been hit by raiders.

"What's in it for the insurance policy," she asked trying to steady herself.

He looked pleased with her question, "ah well that will depend on whether I need it or not," he struggled to his feet his bulk almost tipping him over. Moving back to his desk he took out a small comms device and threw it to her.

"Once you know the final locations get back to me and if it's something, I didn't know you'll get paid for your trouble," he threw something else at her and again she caught it automatically, "here is a small down payment, plenty more where that came from. If you prove useful to me of course."

She stared at her hand, at her palm where a small transparent packet sat. The red of the sand glistening, almost pulsating with colour, unnatural colour. She could feel the weight of it despite its lightness. She'd inhaled the second-hand smoke so why not just have a taste, just a few crumbs… he was talking to her.

"Been a while since you had a hit, maybe you should dust before you leave the station," he sat back at his desk and pulled up his comm screens, she was dismissed.

Closing her fist around the bag she left and began to make her way back to the docking bays. She had time though, she could go get a drink, steady her nerves, it was an Alliance station so she'd need to be careful if she was…No… I'm gonna flush it… get rid of it. She repeated over and over in her head.

Not conscious of how she got there she closed the door on the toilet compartment and leant against the wall. Hands shaking, sweat soaking her back, her eyes misting with tears she opened her palm and stared at the small translucent bag.

"Leece… I'm…," she cut the call short. They wouldn't trust her, if they knew how easy it was to push her control over the edge. No, you can't tell them… can't let them see…

Her comm pinged, her voice cracked as she answered out of habit, "I'm on my way, are you safe?" Liselles voice strong and steady in her ear and like a punch to her gut.

"No…" her legs gave way and she slid down the wall to the floor still staring at the poison in her palm.

Normandy sick bay

"What happened," Shepard asked looking past Doctor Chakwas and through the glass to where Tash was sitting on the edge of a medibed, Liselle at her side, and an infusion bag attached to her arm.

"Her meeting with the station commander seems to have exposed her to high levels of Red Sand," Doc *** sat behind a console and started entering data, "I suspect it was deliberate. I've analysed the Cigar and the bag of sand she brought back but those levels are what you'd expect. The tox screen indicated she had ingested a significant amount."

"The son of a bitch spiked her?"

"It would appear so, it is not the most effective way of taking the drug, but it is an excellent way to get someone dusted without their knowledge until it's too late."

"Will she be ok," Shepard made to move towards the room and Chakwas stood placing a hand on her forearm as she spoke.

"I'm flushing it from her system but she will have to start again with her mental cleansing. She is far more concerned about what you will think about her weakness. I'm surprised she managed to resist taking the sand but all she can see is that she wanted too and couldn't control her craving."

She gave the Doc a nod of understanding and moved into the room.

Tash looked up but wouldn't hold her eye, Liselle glared at her and for a moment thought she might get blasted with a biotic punch.

"I want to go and tear that motherless puja to pieces," Liselle's voice held an edge of the soft powerful malice of her mother.

"It's my own fault… once I realised he had sand, I should have left."

"This is not your fault.," she laid a hand on her cousins' shoulder then turned to Liselle, "No, we won't be tearing him to pieces. Alliance intelligence will be dealing with him shortly so we won't compromise their operation."

"I'm fairly certain he's corrupt rather than Cerberus," Tash said in a tired voice, "and he has a way of tracking the containers. Pretty sure he thought I was higher than I actually was and couldn't resist doing a big of bragging."

"Good work, I'll get Edi on running some more focused scans."

"We may want to stop somewhere before our final destination and get inside to check for any timer transmitters. It's something we used a lot in the Terminus system," Liselle stood and continued, "you'd detect a ping from a transmitter now but once they've been delivered no one will be checking."

She nodded and looked again at Tash, "I'm guessing that just because Givern's isn't supposed to be able to access the freighters that he wouldn't find that problematic?"

"I'd bet my pension that this station is about as corrupt as anything you'd find in the Terminus Systems. I'd also be worried about how much he's already ripped out of the stores already."

She smiled and squeezed her cousins' shoulder, "that's cute that you're expecting to get a pension," more seriously she continued, "you did really well and this has nothing to do with weakness. You have an injury Tash and you need to be careful but you were strong enough to reach out for help."

Tash gave her a half smile and she looked less beaten down.

"Good, let's get this show on the road then," she said and headed for the command deck.