Tohru and Kyo had a room at the onsen ryokan for the night as well; with everything in chaos at the new house and nothing left at the old house, it had seemed a lot easier to just stay with the others rather than try to set something up for themselves that night. So much later, after they'd finished moving all of the boxes and furniture to where it all needed to go, they all squashed into the car and headed into town.

After finalizing the plan for the next day and saying goodnight, they all headed to their rooms. And even if she hadn't been allowed to do all that much actual lifting...Tohru was tired.

But she wasn't so tired that she couldn't tell that Kyo had something on his mind.


It had started back at the new house, before they started moving things around. She didn't think anyone else had picked up on it, but she knew her husband well enough to have noticed him withdraw; talking less, laughing less. A beat behind his normal response time for every reaction. And while she wasn't exactly sure what had caused it, she had a guess.

She watched him as they got ready for bed, noting the slight tenseness in his jaw and the thoughtful expression in his eye. Now that there were no other people around he had pretty much abandoned the pretense of acting normal, though she doubted he even realized he was doing it. He'd always been able to relax around her, like this.

And she left him to his thoughts while she herself got ready for bed. But when she returned to the room after using the bathroom and brushing her teeth, she walked up to him and took his hands. "Talk to me, Kyo?"

At the question, Kyo blinked, then slowly took on a rueful smile. "That obvious, huh?"

Tohru nodded and Kyo sighed, then squeezed her hands. "It's nothing, Tohru, don't worry about it."

"It doesn't seem like nothing," she said, her voice gentle. "It's clearly been on your mind for a few hours now, at least."

Kyo sighed again, looking around the room. "Futon?"

"Of course."

They both sat down on the futon, Tohru once again settling into Kyo's arms and leaning back against him. And once they were situated, she looked up at him, waiting patiently for him to explain.

She didn't have to wait long.

"I've been thinking about that thing Hans said earlier," Kyo said quietly. "About the...cat thing."

Tohru had wondered if it was related to that, and her immediate first instinct was to go into damage control. "Kyo, you know he didn't mean anything by it! And once he pointed it out, I could actually kind of see it myself!"

He took her hand again and shook his head. "That's not it, Tohru, not exactly. Yeah, I know he didn't mean anything by it, it was just an observation, or whatever. But it just...got me thinking."

Tohru was frowning now, not exactly liking the direction this was going. But if Kyo was bothered by something, then she wanted to do whatever she could to help him, starting with listening.

"When Hans talked about it being like...a cat thing, my first instinct was to feel like it was a jab at me. Like I was being mocked, or something."

"Kyo, you know Hans would never-"

"See, I know that! In my head, I know that. I dunno if it's because I know he knows about us that it made me think that, or what, but I still...felt that way. Like 'oh, of course things are like this, it's the Cat's house.' Because the Cat is always gonna act a certain way, even when the Cat Spirit is gone."

Tohru tightened her grip on Kyo's hand. "Kyo-"

He cut her off. "-Does it bother you, Tohru? How much you still have to deal with all of my shit?" He could see her bristling at the very idea, and he tightened his grip on her. "Seriously Tohru, please?"

His voice sounded so pleading that Tohru's heart practically broke for him. "Nothing about you bothers me at all, Kyo, and it never has, either. Not even when you still were possessed by the Cat Spirit, which, I'd like you remind you, you're not, and haven't been for years."

Kyo sighed. "Sometimes I feel like everyone else's Curses broke and they just became...normal. Fully normal. And it's like I'm still hanging onto shadows."

Tohru was frowning again. "What kind of shadows?"

"Things leftover from the Cat. Wanting to be up high. Sitting in the sun. Drinking milk"

Tohru had to try not to smile at those. "Kyo, those are all sweet! And people can and do like those things all on their own, you know."

"Rainy days," he continued, and Tohru quickly jumped in.

"That's not just you though, Kyo! Hajime also gets lethargic when it's raining."

"Yeah, he does, and I'm pretty sure we both know why," Kyo said with a sigh. "Lucky kid, getting to enjoy some of the 'best' things about being the Cat's son."

His voice was unexpectedly bitter, and Tohru didn't like it at all. It had been a long time since they had talked in any way about Kyo's time under the Curse; even with the comment from Hans, it still seemed like all of this was coming out of nowhere.

Shifting a little so she could see him better, Tohru looked up at him with worried eyes. "Kyo...what's really bothering you? Please?"

Kyo looked at her for a long moment, then looked away. "Hans knows. Mine knows. Mayuko knows. Mitsuru knows, Uontani knows, Machi knows..."

"And I know," Tohru continued patiently, not understanding what the problem was. "All of us that are seriously involved with a former Zodiac know, yes. Is that what's bothering you? That Hans actually knows?"

"No, it's not that! I can understand why Momiji'd tell him, even if it's all done with. If we're gonna share our lives with someone, then they've got the right to know what they're signing up for, past bullshit included. All of it," Kyo repeated, looking down at his hands.

"So why-"

He looked back up, his eyes meeting hers. "Did you know Hajime's been trying to play with my beads, Tohru?"

Tohru didn't know which part of that was the most surprising. Kyo never talked about his beads, never. And she also didn't know that Kyo had noticed Hajime's interest.

"Yes, I do. That's why I put them in that latched container," she said, her voice quiet.

"What've you been telling him, when you say 'no?'" Kyo's voice was almost as soft as hers.

"Just that they're not for him, that he needs to leave our things alone and that he has his own things."

He considered that for a moment. "Anything else?"

"That they're special to us, and we don't want them lost or broken."

Kyo's mouth twisted slightly at the use of the word 'special.' But he nodded, accepting that explanation. Mostly.

"Have you said anything about 'em being mine?"

Tohru shook her head. "No. Just that they're important to both of us."

Kyo let out a quiet exhale. "Good."

She was studying him closely again. "Kyo, is this about Hajime?"

"No!" Kyo's response was quick, and almost defensive. But then he sighed, grudgingly admitting, "yes. Kinda."

He could tell from Tohru's expression that she was waiting for him to elaborate, and he couldn't say he blamed her. It still felt crappy, saying all of this. Thinking it.

Without really thinking about it, he rubbed his left wrist, a habit he'd picked up in the months after the Curse had broken when he'd needed to reassure himself that it was all gone. That he was normal, and didn't have to worry about any of it any more. Even now, years later, Tohru would sometimes notice him doing it, and wonder just what was on his mind.

"He was playing with the container on Wednesday night, when we were all packing. I took it away, obviously, and told him basically what you've been telling him. And he told me that he wanted to have some special beads, too."

"Oh Kyo." Tohru hugged his arms against her, trying to hug away the pain she heard in heard in those words. "Have you been thinking about that ever since Wednesday? He's just trying to copy us, that's all; he's three, and he thinks the beads are pretty. It makes sense, that he wants to play with them."

Kyo was shaking his head again. "Honestly, I didn't really think about it after I took 'em away, not until tonight. I know that, that it's just about the beads themselves with Hajime. I know he doesn't know anything about 'em, or any of this."

He took a breath, then continued. "And I don't want him too, either."

Tohru was frowning again. "Well, he's three, Kyo, obviously we're not going to tell him-"

"-Ever."

Tohru's eyes widened and she looked up at Kyo. "Ever?"

"Ever," Kyo repeated, his voice firm. "I've thought about it before, but tonight, listening to Hans fall all over himself trying to apologize...I don't want that for our kids, Tohru. I don't want them to have to...look at me like that. To worry about me like that." His grip tightened around her again, his voice taking on a slight tremor.

"I know it's stupid, but I'd kinda hoped, moving away, being away from everyone like this...that we'd be able to forget about it, you know? No references, no jokes. No sideways glances from people on the estate. Yeah, I'm stuck looking like this, but the rest of it? All of it? Most of it, anyway," he said ruefully, thinking about his rainy-day ennui. "All of that shit, all of that stigma? Done."

He sighed, leaning forward and resting his chin on top of her head. "I get that I can't. Not unless we actually cut everyone off, which obviously isn't gonna happen, which means I still gotta deal with it. But that's all on me, Tohru, and it oughtta be on me."

Kyo took another breath. "Hajime looks like me, kinda. And that makes me so happy, Tohru, really...but it makes me so afraid, too. Afraid he's gonna hear stuff, when we go to Tokyo. Every time we're on the estate I worry that someone's gonna look at my son and...say something...to him, because of me. I don't want that for him, Tohru, I don't!"

Tohru knew that very well, and it was a big part of why they rarely went into the main Sohma estate when they visited. Tohru always went to see Akito, but Kyo never accompanied her and she had rarely taken Hajime. And much as Tohru hated it...she understood. Even though it had been almost eight years, old prejudices died hard; neither one of them had missed the look one of the maids had given Kyo when they were leaving after the most recent New Year's Banquet.

But much as Tohru understood Kyo's fears, she didn't understand why that meant he never wanted to tell Hajime, or their other kids. "I understand, Kyo, and I don't want that for them, either. But doesn't that mean it should be even more important to tell them, so that if they do encounter that, they can understand why?"

"No!" Kyo's voice was almost explosive. "So they can pity me? So they can think they have to defend me? So they can put themselves in the path of even more shit, just to prove a point?" He was scowling now, his entire face dark. "I don't want that for them, Tohru. We lived through that shit so that they don't have to, and I want to keep it that way."

Tohru sighed, reaching up to stroke Kyo's hair. "Is that it, then? You're worried that with so many people knowing about the Curse, it'll be hard to keep from the kids?"

He leaned into her touch, but didn't answer right away. Then after long silence, he finally answered, "yes."

Tohru sighed again, wishing there was a way she could convince him how wrong he was. But she wasn't going to worry about that tonight; there was no way they'd be telling either of their kids anything about this for years to come. Hopefully in those years Kyo would come around, and in the meantime...

"I love you, Kyo," she said softly. "Everything about you, including your hair, and your eyes, and the way you like to doze in sunny patches on the floor and the way you love to be up high. Even the way you drink milk straight from the carton. Those are all part of you, and I love all of you. And I always will," she said, smiling up at him.

Kyo had cracked a smile now, but he still looked a little unsure, so Tohru continued. "And I love our house, Kyo. I love the giant windows that I pushed to include, and I love our balconies. And everything else about it, starting with the fact that I get to live there with you. Starting tomorrow night."

He exhaled, then smiled, reaching down to caress her cheek. "How'd I ever be so lucky to end up with you, Tohru?"

Tohru smiled back, covering his hand with hers. "I'd say we're both lucky, Kyo."

She could tell from the look on his face that he didn't agree with her, a fact that never failed to infuriate her. How anyone could look at him, or talk to him, or be around him at all and not feel that Kyo Sohma was a catch completely defied logic; how many times over the years had she seen women sighing over him?

No...she was the lucky one. If he was lucky in her, she was more than lucky in him. They were lucky to have found each other, lucky to have kept each other.

And they always would be.


That night, Kyo lay awake long after Tohru had fallen asleep in his arms, thinking about things that hadn't kept him awake in years.

He hadn't meant to react so strongly to Hans' cat comment. He knew, like they all did, that Momiji had told him; it had come up over three years ago, when Momiji and Hans had been seriously discussing their future, and their relationship. It had made sense for Momiji to tell him, especially since they were talking about moving to Japan.

Kyo wondered what it had been like for Hans, to hear that. Hans hadn't known Momiji when he was Cursed; he hadn't known any of them. He didn't have the benefit that Tohru and Mine did, of actually causing someone to transform and seeing it for himself. He wasn't already aware of the Sohmas and some of their strange abilities, like Mayuko, and he hadn't known any of them when they were Cursed to have something to look back on and acknowledge was strange, like Mitsuru and Uotani. He only had Momiji, and his word to go on...and he'd believed him. It had taken a little corroboration, but he'd believed him.

Kyo knew it wasn't malicious, the reference to the catio. He was sure that Hans was just making conversation. But somehow, hearing that comment and knowing that Hans knew he'd been the Cat made him feel vulnerable in a way he hadn't in ages. He was suddenly aware of just how many aspects of their house had been tailored to him, from the plethora of balconies to the ladder to the roof. Hell, he'd even not-completely-jokingly suggested a floating walkway leading to a perch above the living room.

How much had Tohru suggested or agreed to, just to make him happy?

He passed a hand over his face, thinking about all the references he'd heard to his catlike behavior over the years. Even here and now, far away from the Sohmas, he was used to hearing certain comparisons; his reflexes were often likened to a cat's, and his ability to land on his feet. His ability to move silently. His love of milk. The way his eyes looked when he was angry. Even the sharp points of his canine teeth had a decidedly feline quality to them.

He could live with all of that, the mannerisms and the teasing. The former, because he had no choice; the latter, because he knew it was all in good fun. None of them knew how sharply that word stung, every time he heard it: Cat.

He thought about Hajime, with his muted orange hair and his big brown eyes, eyes that were shaped like Kyo's even if they were the same color as Tohru's. And he thought about how Hajime had looked up at him with those eyes, earnestly telling him that he wanted to have special beads too, just like Daddy. Because he loved Daddy so much, and he wanted to be just like him.

No you don't, Hajime. And I thank the gods every day that you don't have to be.

Almost nine years had passed since the Curse had broken, but for so many people the old prejudices lived on. Kyo rarely went onto the main estate any further than the dojo, but he had still seen the looks. Still heard whispers.

'You're a monster, and an abomination! You don't deserve to live!'

They were wrong, all of them. He did deserve to live, and to be happy, and he was. He had taken himself beyond their reach; they could say what they wanted about him, and he wouldn't care.

But he couldn't handle those words being directed at his son, not at either of his children. It had taken him a long time to move past it for himself, and he knew he wasn't strong enough to hear those slurs hurled at them. To hear them cast down, because of him.

They deserved better than that, both of them. He would never put them in a position where they felt that they needed to protect him...and he would never be able to live with himself if they were to be hurt because of him.

At that moment, a sharp nudge against his hand snapped Kyo out of his musings. Tohru was still sleeping, but clearly someone else was awake right now, too.

Gently, Kyo flattened his palm against Tohru's stomach, feeling the little bumps and nudges as Baby Sohma went through their calisthenics, and he slowly began to smile. And as he always did, he marveled at the experience; both the physical feeling, and the knowledge that it was his child doing it. His child, that he and Tohru had made, that Tohru was growing right now. The child that had started out as a nebulous concept and was now rapidly growing into a person, a person who'd have thoughts and feelings, wants and needs.

A person he would always protect.

For so long, Kyo had written off his life. He had known what the future had held for the Cat; he had to, because no one had ever let him forget. But fate had had different plans for him, and now he was here, determined to prevent any stain from that past, or that prospective future, from touching his family. Any of his family.

It was an uphill battle, he knew. And it might not even be possible. But he would try.

For all of them, he would try.