Chapter 7
The Killer Furbies
"Good evening Channel 100, 200, 725, 534, 777 viewers. It is I, Sandy Shore STILL subbing in. Now tonight's top story involves another scandal from Ronald McDonald. That scandal includes a loveable stuffed animal known as the Furby. What you are about to see may disturb you so if you have heart problems or go into shock easy I recommend that you leave the room or dare I say it… Change the channel. The tape was sent in by an anonymous person known as the Super Secret Undercover Furby, a.k.a. Fred. Tiny Timmy, roll it."
Sandy sat there waiting patiently for about five minutes but Tiny Timmy never came.
"Tiny Timmy? Guys, where's Tiny Timmy?"
A male's voice replied, "Um… He goes into shock easy and you said to leave the room…"
"Well bring the tape here!" The guy sheepishly came and inserted the video into the VCR.
A picture of Kairi came on the screen in her room. She was sitting on her bed trying to read a magazine, but kept getting her focus interrupted by the brown colored furby that had been anonymously sent in the mail under the name "It".
"Me hungry! I gotta go potty! I'm thirsty! Give me a hug! Do you know the Muffin Man? I like muffins. How about you?"
Kairi's last nerve was struck. She climbed off her lavender bed, walked over to the shelf where it sat, grabbed the Furby and began squeezing it.
"Ow, you hurting me!"
"That's the point, SHUT-UP!"
"You no nice!" Kairi chunked it at the wall and then resumed her reading. Shark music started playing softly in the background.
"What in the world?" She looked at the Furby which was lying on the ground. It was lying on its back and looking blankly at the ceiling when suddenly its head turned very slowly while the rest of it's body refrained from even moving a fraction of an inch.
"Me don't like you Kairi… You mean! Time to die." It somehow managed to roll its fat little body upright and began waddling towards Kairi.
"Uh… Heh… Heh… Nice Furby… Too bad you can't get me on my bed!" It reached the edge of the comforter and hooked on with its plastic beak. From there it manipulated its feet and beak to pull itself over on top of the bed. Kairi screamed at the top of her lungs and jumped off the bed.
"Put a smile on, put a smile on, oh Kairi come on! Put a smile on!"
"That's ok." Kairi's back was against the door and she began fumbling with the lock. She finally managed to turn it and opened the door. Before she could runaway there was something blocking the exit. She turned around and found ten more furbies stacked on top of eachother.
"Hello Kairi. We wanna play!" She dodged as the pile toppled over, knocking into a lamp and sending it crashing into the ground.
Her mother's voice came from the background, "Kairi, what are you doing in there? Is everything all right?"
"Yes mom! Everything's perfectly fine!" Kairi ran out the door and a whole crew of Furby's grabbed her leg, slowing her down. She fell to the floor and began crawling towards the front door. When she finally reached it she struggled to grip the doorknob because the Furbies had moved up to her arms. When she was finally able to grab it and open the door outwards she fell down the steps and landed at the feet of Sora. The Furbies had let go and were now acting normal.
"Uh… What's with all the Furbies?"
"THEY WERE TRYING TO KILL ME!"
"I think someone has gotten a bit obsessed."
"You don't believe me?"
"Me hungry!"
"How could something so cute, adorable, and most importantly: not living try and kill you. I'd say you have gone over the edge with your obsession."
"I'm not obsessed!" Kairi looked down and one of the Furbies gave her an evil look. "See there!" Sora looked down and on that Furby's face it had a look of innocence. Sora picked it up.
Kairi said in a hurried voice, "Well Sora I'm giving all these to you so see you later, bye!" Kairi scrambled into her house and made sure that every last Furby was left outside.
"Ok then… I don't really like stuffed animals…" Sora tossed the Furby on the ground and headed off in search of Riku.
That very same Furby's eyes glazed over with red as it rounded up a group of ten other Furbies and headed off to somewhere…
XXXXXXX
Riku picked up the package that was located on his front doorstep. It was address to him from "It" so he opened it and he found three brown speckled Furbies.
"Oh joy… That's exactly what I wanted…" He threw the Furbies on the ground and was about to walk inside when something caught his leg and caused him to trip. He looked down and there was a thick piece of rope. Tons of Furbies appeared out of no where and piled on top of him.
"Hello Riku," said one of the Furbies. Riku's eyes widened.
"How do you know my name?"
"We know all your secrets…" They're eyes were filled with malice as they tightened the knots.
"Wait a minute… Why don't I just break free? You guys aren't even a quarter of my size." He tried to get up but froze when the head Furby drew a lethal looking butcher knife and raised it up over its head.
"No, DON'T KILL ME! I'm too young to die!"
"You lived a good life right?" asked one of the Furbies.
"I'm only SIXTEEN!"
"I said good, not long." The head Furby suddenly brought the knife down… Into a double chocolate, triple layer cake. Riku's eyes widened.
"Want some? We'll kill you later but right now we're on our lunch break." All of the Furbies piled off of Riku and gathered around the cake. One of them even untied the rope. "Now don't go too far for the next hour. Okay?"
"Uh… Sure…" Riku slowly backed away, and when he saw he was unnoticed he ran into his house and began locking every possible entryway.
One of the Furbies piped up, "Shouldn't we go stop him?"
"If you wanna lose time off you lunch break then be my guest."
The Furby that had spoken up shrugged his shoulders and began eating his cake.
XXXXXXXXXXX
The camera switched scenes and Sora came on screen strolling down the beach toward Riku's house. In his hand he had a can of 7Up.
Suddenly shark music started playing. Sora froze and slowly turned around…
Charging full speed and heading straight for him was a 7Up machine. On top of the machine were three Furbies wearing sunglasses and one was sitting in front of a steering wheel while another one had a joy-stick in front of him.
"EEK! Kairi wasn't lying!" The machine began gaining on him.
"We're in range, FIRE!" The Furby with the joy-stick gripped it and began pressing the red button rapidly.
As cans shot out he made machine gun noises.
All around Sora, cans were landing in the sand and some hit him. Riku's house was now in sight… And also the army of Furbies eating chocolate cake.
"NOOO!" yelled Sora. He ran past them.
As the Furby powered 7Up machine came by a purple Furby asked, "Shouldn't we go help them?"
"We still have five more minutes left in our lunch break, so if you want to-." He was cut off by a scream from Sora as he ran past them again only in the opposite direction with the soda machine still chasing after him and firing cans.
Sora suddenly turned and headed for the door. He tripped over a Furby and skidded to a halt right in front of Riku's door. Immediately, he stood up and began banging and yelling.
"Riku let me in!"
XXX Inside of Riku's house XXX
Riku peeked out from under his bed with a flashlight when he heard Sora's voice. On his head was a tinfoil hat.
"It's just a trick from the enemy…" he muttered.
XXXXXXXXXXXX
The 7Up machine was now upon him and he let out a scream as the pop machine piled cans on top of him, covering him from head to toe.
Mission accomplished music from James Bond played and the Furby with the joy-stick struck a pose.
"Lunch break's over!" The Furbies that had been eating chocolate cake immediately scattered around Riku's house to find a way in.
XXX 2 Hours Later XXX
The Furbies were still not having any luck breaking into Riku's house until finally an Albino white Furby accidentally fell into the chimney.
"AAAHHHHH!" Immediately "Mission Impossible" music began playing as Ten Furbies attached to one rope dived in after him. When they got to the bottom they rolled and moved into a circle in which they traveled in the direction of Riku's room.
"Move, move, move!" They all stood around a door, holding mini plastic guns. Suddenly they bashed at the door and ended up falling backwards after hitting their heads really hard.
"We need another route!" They Furbies stacked up on top of each other and turned the door knob. Inside they found an empty room. Or at least what they thought was an empty room…
"Search the room," ordered the head Furby. They Furbies spread out and began searching everywhere they thought he could be. The head Furby slowly lifted up the edge of the sheet of Riku's bed. "Found him boys!"
"You'll never take me alive!" exclaimed Riku. However, as he tried to move he got stuck. "Dang it!" The knife that the head Furby had used to cut the cake appeared and he lifted it up above his head.
All went quiet as he prepared to lower the blade…
Just as he was about to bring it down a beeping noise went off causing him to freeze. He look down at his watch belt.
"Work's over boys! Let's head back to headquarters!" The Furby dropped the knife down in front of Riku and directed the Furbies outside and in the direction of Furby Headquarters.
Riku gave out a sigh of relief and took the tin foil of his head, "Well that was close." He went to the front door of his house, opened it, and found the pile of pop machines on his porch. "What in the world?"
Suddenly a hand stuck straight out and grabbed his left shin causing him to fall on top of Sora who was trying to pull himself up.
The screen went black and Sandy Shore reappeared.
"So that's all for this newscast. Tune in tomorrow morning at 3 a.m. for our next broadcast.
XXXXXX At Furby Headquarters XXXXXX
Ronald McDonald was pacing down the ranks of Furbies lined up along the walls with a grim look on his face. In his hands was a delicious looking chocolate cake. He had seen the news broadcast.
Suddenly his foot landed in something squishy. He lifted up his big red shoe and grimaced. He had stepped in Furby poo.
"Y'all have five seconds to scatter before I really get ugly!"
The Furbies hastily ran in all directions, and soon there was no sign of them having been there.
XXXXX
da marshmallow: Sorry that my updates have been taking a very long time… It's getting harder and harder to get inspired and have time to write with school and all…
So did you guys like this chapter or not? Please tell me in a review!
Oh, just so you know… I got inspired to write about Furbies because one night when I was mopping a Furby commercial came on tv.
And to my reviewers: Thank y'all so much for reading this and for all the reviews: )
By the way, I have a website now so if you have free time and wanna look at it then just go to my user look up and click homepage. And also I have another Kingdom Hearts fic called "Blade of Hearts" that's on blondie91's (this) account but its not a comedy and I'm kinda low on reviews so if you feel like it please check it out and review: )
Disclaimer: I like cheese and making Ronald step in Furby poo. (jk!)
Ok here's the real disclaimer: I don't own Furbies, McDonalds, Kingdom Hearts, James Bond, Mission Impossible, 7Up, the whole good life not long conversation I got from Fairly Odd Parents, and anything else I forgot to mention that I don't own and probably never will.
