I know you have a little life in you yet, I know you have a lot of strength left…
Fandom: The Blacklist
Pairing: Lizzington
A/N: Includes scenes from 4x20 The Debt Collector. The one where Red uses a dude to kidnap Lizzy to get to are several scenes in between the cabin scene which obviously haven't been included. The final scene where Reddington calls Lizzy, he hangs up on her without saying goodbye, for this he won't. The scene at the Cabin was longer than I wanted, it took me 2.5hrs to dictate and describe and I nearly threw in the towel then. It was difficult to cut so I've added bits to it here and there so this chapter is double the length as a result.
I know you were probably hoping for more fluff after the last chapter but Red really doesn't make that easy. Imagine being hopeful that someone you love has come to save you after you've been kidnapped, only to find out that it was his plan all along, just to get back at someone else. Kidnapping and lying are not conducive to fluff! Have some hurt/comfort instead. ;-D If you'd like some extra pain listen to the song as well. I'm feeling emotional about this whole thing and I never intended it to be this long.
In ep 21 Cooper is pissed about Red kidnapping Lizzy and she tells him it's indefensible but she's convinced they either rise together or fall apart. I've tried to keep that in mind at the end of this chapter.
Side note: I know Lizzy has been in worse situations and will be again.
Song: This Woman's Work by Greg Laswell. THIS version is a killer. It wasn't in the show but came on random whilst I was writing and I screamed them.
Oh darling make it go, make it go away…
She had a plan to escape, cut herself free in the van whilst Edgar was distracted talking about himself and what he did. She was going to jump him when he opened the door but he was ready with a spray to the face of whatever drug he used to sedate her the first time. Her vision blurred as she slumped back onto the van's floor. A blurry Edgar smiling down at her. It didn't knock her out completely but her limbs felt numb and heavy.
'Hey, looks like the gang's all here.' He told her with amusement pulling her out of the car and to her feet. He grabbed the back of neck and an arm hauling her up to standing. He had her by the back of the coat as he slammed the sliding door of the van closed. She stumbled woozy on heavy legs but he helped her upright by the scruff of her coat before marching her toward the cabin.
He opened the door to the cabin, shoving her inside first, He still had her by the back of her coat as she flailed helplessly. Her limbs felt impossibly heavy, her mind fuzzy and her vision blurry. He held her arm to stop her falling.
'Pryor?' He yelled out, 'Where are you? I've got a young lady here who's dying to get reacquainted.' He marched her across the room to a single chair. There wasn't much else in the room, the fast acting sedative was beginning to wear off. He shoved her ungracefully down in the chair, Elizabeth groaned.
'There you go,' He told her pushing her back further into the seat. He knelt down in front of her, taking a zip tie out of his pocket and tying one of her wrists to the arm of the chair. Her head lolled as Edgar zip tied her ankles together but she could hear a door opening in another room and foot steps approaching. She was so woozy, her head so heavy that it was an effort to raise it enough to see who had entered the room.
She heard the familiar voice and for a moment she was sure she was hearing things. Her mind began to work overtime. If he were here, he would help her for sure. He would kill Edgar where he stood and untie her and they could leave this place.
'No need for alarm, Edgar…' Reddington told him, approaching from behind. Her stomach dipped and she willed her neck to do its job, her eyes flicked up trying to focus on who else was in the room.
'Who are you? Where is Tyson Pryor?' Edgar asked holding a gun trained on Reddington who approached Elizabeth. Her head still lolled to the side but she tried to focus her eyes enough to look up.
'I'm sorry to have misled you, but Tyson Pryor didn't hire you… I did.' Reddington told him turning to face him. Elizabeth raised her head slightly she didn't trust her eyes, it couldn't be him. What was he saying? He had hired Edgar to kidnap her? That couldn't be right. Her eyes burned but she blinked back the tears threatening to overflow. Dembe disarmed Edgar in one swift movement and Edgar raised both his hands in surrender.
Reddington squinted for a moment cocking his head to the side,
'Hello Elizabeth' She stared at him, her vision blurry and her mouth slightly opened. Her hair was tousled and her skin was pale. She blinked up at him trying to clear her sight. His face came into view and for moment she wasn't sure what he was doing there. Had he really hired Edgar to kidnap her? He was supposed to be in steerage on board a ship at sea not in a cabin in the middle of nowhere. He pursed his lips looking down at her. She blinked again trying to clear her mind of the fog the drug had caused.
'How are you here?' Elizabeth moaned, her throat dry. She lifted her head further but it swam in response and she closed her eyes for a moment, trying to orientate herself.
He stepped back ignoring her question, pacing the length of the long windows checking for approaching vehicles. When Elizabeth opened her eyes again the swimming had stopped and her vision had cleared. She felt stronger so gingerly lifted her head and sat more upright. She watched Reddington, briefly glancing at Dembe who still had his weapon trained on Edgar.
'Who are you?' Edgar asked, still standing with his arms out wide in surrender. 'What do you want?'
'From you? Nothing.' Reddington told him, still checking out the window.
Elizabeth squinted at the brightness from the windows as she followed Reddington's movements and suddenly it dawned on her, why he was there.
'This was all about getting to Kaplan.' She stated, frowning at him. Her stomach dropped and clenched at the thought that he had orchestrated this plan, had her kidnapped and drugged all to get Mr Kaplan here.
'Yes. By taking advantage of her love for you.' He approached her, coming to a stop in front of her. 'The only emotion powerful enough to get her to set aside the rage that consumes her. His voice was soft and gravelly, he shook his head slightly, 'A rage that I'm not sure she'll ever recover from.' He shook his head again, meeting the blue of her eyes, her eye brows were pulled together slightly in a frown.
She wanted to ask, what about his love for her? Did that not matter enough to him, did she not matter enough to him? That he could use her in this way, just to draw out someone else who had a vendetta against him
'I didn't hurt her.' Edgar interrupted, Elizabeth's eyes darted towards him, disturbing her thoughts before focusing back on Reddington, his attention drawn away to Edgar.
'That must have been dissatisfying for you. You're a glutton for vengeance. I understand. There's almost nothing as satisfying as revenge.' Reddington told him as Elizabeth's eyes darted between the two men.
'Wanting someone to hurt because you hurt.' Reddington continued, shaking his head and then nodding slightly. 'An eye for an eye, feels like God's work. Until you realise there is no God' Reddington continued. Edgar nodded a small smile playing on his lips 'And you've committed sins for which there is no absolution.' Reddington finished, the brow of his hat shadowed half his face.
'I just did what you asked' He scoffed, 'Nothing more.' Edgar told him, his arms raised by his sides.
'Word to the wise. Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves…' Reddington pulled his gun, firing once, the bullet hit Edgar square in the chest, the casing clattered to the floor as Edgar fell to the ground - dead. Even though Elizabeth had expected as much, the noise in such a empty space made her jump involuntarily, she closed her eyes before Reddington began speaking,
'Confucius… Stunningly applicable even after all these years.' He walked toward the now deceased Edgar, holstering his weapon as he looked down on him.
'Two graves.' Elizabeth stated, watching him, she strained slightly against the ties holding her arms, 'Is the other one for you or for Kaplan?' She asked, still watching him.
'Neither, I hope.' He responded turning to face her. 'That's up to her.' He finished, the watery sun fell against Elizabeth's pale face. She looked tired, felt tired in that moment, so very tired but to him she was nothing but stunningly beautiful. He looked away, walking again to the windows. She pulled against the zip ties, making a fist and moving her arm back and forth but it would not budge.
'You lied.' She told him, 'You said you were trapped in steerage on a ship.' He was reloading his gun, walking towards her, Dembe was in the background with two other men, checking the weapons they had brought, readying for a showdown. She eyed him from her seat, but he avoided her gaze in favour of checking outside.
'I thought I was, until I was able to trade one of my last supply routes in the Balkans for a ride on Prince Hajjar's jet.' He sat down next to her, her eyes never leaving him.
'You had me kidnapped, you put Agnes at risk.' She told him, heat building in her stomach. How could he do this?
'Agnes was never at risk.' He turned to face her, his voice firm and authoritarian 'And I gave explicit instructions that you were not to be harmed in any way.' His mouth was pursed and his eye twitched in irritation.
'Untie me.' Her own voice was equally firm, mouth pursed in a silent standoff. 'I said untie me' Her voice rose insistently, her eyes igniting with the fire that was building inside her. He stared at her for a moment, his own eyes hard and unrelenting.
'I wish I could.' He told her simply, she sighed and looked towards the door.
'She's on her way here now, thinking she's going to save me.' her voice suddenly deflated.
'I assume so, yes' He agreed turning away from her, checking out the windows for signs of activity.
'And you're going to kill her…' She accused, her brows knitted together.
'As I said, that's entirely up to her. I want to believe there's another way' He told her.
'After everything that's happened?' She glanced back at him, his back still toward her. 'What could she possibly say to convince you?' She asked firmly.
'She doesn't have to convince me.' He said turning back to face her, 'You already did that.' Her tired eyes met his, frowning. 'But, for a war to end, both sides have to be willing to find peace.' His head was cocked to the side as he looked at her, the right side of his face was shadowed by the brow of his hat. 'And up until now, it seems Kate has believed the only satisfactory outcome would be if one of us dies. If that's true, it has to be her.' Elizabeth looked away from him, her stomach tight. When he finished she met his eye again, his lips were pursed.
'She's here.' Dembe informed them as they both looked towards him. Reddington got up and went to the door.
'Reddington, don't do this.' Elizabeth raised her voice, her own head cocked to the side as she watched him cross the room. She could see cars approaching from where she sat. He ignored her, peering through the round window in the front door.
Dembe approached her, looking through the front window, 'The men are in position.' He told Reddington. Another man handed Reddington a walkie, he pushed the button to speak and it beeped loudly.
'Pascal, she brought a lot of back up. Is this going to be a problem?' Reddington asked still looking out the porthole window. 'No, sir. This will not be a problem. Over.' Came the reply.
'Reddington, there has to be another way?' She tried to appealing to him, shaking her head 'Please don't do this.' He was still looking outside watching the goings on and listening to the chatter on the walkie.
'On my command, fire only if you have a clean shot. Remember she is not to be harmed.' He intoned firmly.
Elizabeth could see Kate approaching the other vehicles, she made a decisive decision that Reddington had left her little choice with. She was still tied up and he refused to let her free.
'Kaplan! No! It's a trap!' Elizabeth yelled only hoping that Mr Kaplan would hear her. She saw Mr Kaplan stop still and took a sharp inhale as Dembe covered her mouth with his hand. She tried to yell again but her voice was muffled against Dembe's grip. That got his attention and her turned to glare at her from the corner by the door. His eye twitched and his teeth were clenched. He inhaled, throwing a glance at Dembe before turning back.
'I'm made. I can take one shot. Maybe two. On your ready.' came the voice over the walkie.
'Hold' Reddington stated.
'Repeat. I can take the Betty now. Right now. One shot.' The walkie told him.
'No. Hold.' Reddington repeated. Dembe released Elizabeth and Reddington's phone began to ring. She could only hear a muffled voice and Reddington answered,
'Said the spider to the fly'.
Dembe began to cut her free, starting with her wrists. She studied him for a moment, trying to gage his mood. He was hard to read.
'Dembe please, don't let him do this' She pleaded her voice low, 'We have to stop him. you know this is a mistake'
'No Elizabeth, you know this is the only way.' He murmured cutting the zip tie that held her feet together. He held out his hand for her to take but she ignored it and hoisted herself to standing using the arms of the chair.
Reddington swung open the door and stood just inside it, Dembe held her arm nudging her toward the door behind Reddington.
'We go where our hearts take us. Yours took you to Elizabeth.' He told Kate, squinting in the sunlight as he stepped out onto the open porch.
'And yours kidnapped her. Thank you, Raymond for proving my point better than I ever could.'
'You underestimate yourself, Kate. The deaths you've caused in the name of crippling me have been more than adequate to prove what you've become.' He replied, they were squabbling over Elizabeth as though they were divorced parents in a custody battle, she didn't like being caught in the middle and being talk about as if she weren't there.
'I've watched you hold Elizabeth emotionally hostage. I never thought you'd hold her physically hostage as well.'
'I wanted her to bear witness. I regret any hardship it caused her but I believe in the end, she'll agree it's a small price to pay for the truth.' Reddington told her, Mr Kaplan's mouth open in incredulity, she began to make her way closer.
'I was your friend.' She began 'I protected you. I comforted you. I loved you.' She spat, 'The truth?' She reached up to the side of her head to pull out the hair piece she wore to cover the hideous scar he had left her with.
'This is the truth,' She stated turning her head towards him so that he could she the ugly still healing wound left by the bullet he had fired at her. 'And it came at an excruciatingly high price.' She finished. He squinted at her, his regret apparent.
'What he did is indefensible.' Elizabeth spoke for the first time, freeing herself from Dembe and walking out of the cabin. She spat the word indefensible at him, turning to face him and looking him in the eye before standing between them. 'But it's done and it can't be changed' she shook her head, evading Reddington as he tried to grab hold of her arm.
Elizabeth looked at Mr Kaplan, the weak afternoon sun on her face. 'What matters is now, the truth today and that is, Reddington has given me his word that he can coexist with you.' She glanced back at Reddington briefly.
'Will you give me your word that you can coexist with him?' She squinted as she looked to Mr Kaplan for confirmation. Kate made eye contact, shaking her head very slightly.
'No.' She answered definitively, her face set. 'Because I can't.' Elizabeth held her gaze, silently pleading with her to change her mind.
'FBI! Hands in the air!' Ressler yelled appearing out of the trees with Samar no his heels.
Later she stood in the bathroom alone, hands resting against the counter supporting her weight, thinking over what had happened. She had told Mr Kaplan that she hadn't known what else to say to her when in reality she had, she was caught between two waring sides. Mr Kaplan had said she had already said it, when she had called out to warn her, she said she had done it to protect her and while that might have been true she also had no desire to see anyone killed and that included Reddington. She had stood there for what felt like an eternity, her eyes locked with Reddington's, perhaps in a silent plea to do something. She was angry with him, for kidnapping her, drugging her and for staging an event so that it brought Mr Kaplan out into the open. Would he have killed her? She had no way to know.
When the shot came, it narrowly missed Reddington's head. It seemed to come from nowhere, all the snipers on both sides accounted for. Chaos ensued after that, shots firing from the FBI, Kate's men and Reddington's men. Her words seemed futile, echoing around them in a plea to stop firing and stand down. Dembe leant over Reddington providing cover for him as they retreated back into the cabin and then weren't seen again. She searched for Kate but she had also disappeared in the chaos. Elizabeth splashed water on her face before exiting, heading for her office when her phone began to ring.
'Any sign of Kate?' Reddington asked without greeting.
'Nothing yet, a search party is still on site…' She informed him still walking towards her office. Most of the task force had gone home already.
'You let her get away.' Reddington accused as if she had any choice in Kaplan's escape.
'I couldn't stop her.' Elizabeth told him simply.
'Well, you heard it yourself. Her truth. That we cannot coexist.' He seemed almost relieved.
'We ran the ballistics.' She said ignoring the implications of what he had said. 'Kaplan's men didn't take that shot.' She informed him, shaking her head.
'So we have a new actor in the mix.' He said as she sat down on the edge of her desk.
'A new actor? How is that even possible? Nobody even knew that you were at that cabin.' She asked her voice low.
'No. That's what makes our mystery guest so intriguing.' He replied.
'I know Mr Kaplan said that the two of you can't coexist, that that was her truth but I still hope it can change.' She told him, her voice still low.
'I have found in my experience people rarely change. And when they do, they're not to be trusted.' He conveyed, his tone matching hers.
'I can still hope.' She said simply, she took a breath before saying,
'You and I need to have a longer conversation about what happened today' She said her tone changing.
'I'm all ears Elizabeth…' He sounded amused, which raised her hackles.
'No, not on the phone, tell me where we can meet?' She asked, it was getting late but she didn't want to allow this to linger and she knew that if she didn't say what she needed to, she wouldn't sleep anyway.
'Dembe will text you an address…' He said before hanging up.
She was already feeling irritated by the time she arrived at the club. It was raining and she was cold and she wanted to be at home with Agnes, not standing outside a club at nearly midnight. It had also been a day to say the least and she was tired. She wanted to be curled up in bed but this would be a quick conversation she resolved. This would be civil, she would not get angry, or upset and she could be home in half an hour, no matter what he said.
She took a steadying breath and knocked again, after trying the handle. She half expected Reddington to have stood her up, not wanting to rehash the days events. But finally she could hear locks turning on the other side and Dembe pulled open the door.
Elizabeth stepped inside, her hair damp from the rain. She shivered slightly as the warmth hit her. The foyer was old school, all dark wood paneling and green velvet. There was a plush couch to the right and another door to her left. A book lay open face down on the couch and a glass of scotch sat on a mahogany side table.
'Good evening Elizabeth' Dembe greeted her, 'Raymond is through there.' He pointed to the door before seating himself back onto the couch, taking up his book.
Reddington was sat on a similar couch, a book also sat in his lap. There were large high backed arm chairs dotted around the room with large mahogany coffee tables. The walls were lined with floor to ceiling book shelves and an open fire crackled in the centre on one wall. It reminded her of an old gentleman's club. Reddington looked up from his book as she approached, his eyes glinting in the warm low lamplight.
'Elizabeth…' He said by way of greeting, his tone light 'Come, sit… Would you like some scotch?' He gestured towards a bottle and his own glass sitting beside him.
'You told Mr Kaplan that I would agree, that kidnapping me was a small price to pay for the truth…' She said levelly, getting right to it as a shadow passed across his face, he rolled his tongue before pursing his lips.
'It's been a long day Elizabeth…' He answered, slightly exasperated.
'Well I don't agree! There had to be another way.' She interrupted, her stomach flopped, she wouldn't get angry. She took a breath 'What part of you thought that it was okay to have me drugged and kidnapped? Do you have any idea what was going through my mind in the back of that van?' Her anger was rising but she was trying to keep it in check, her tone low. Her eyes flashed at him. She took a breath, a hand ran through her loose hair.
'You keep doing this, you expect me to trust you and yet you do this?' She was tired, her voice cracked, tears springing to her eyes. 'I thought that Agnes would never see me again.' She continued swallowing the rising lump in her throat, her plan was falling apart. He sat watching her, his face impassive in the fire light but allowed her to continue.
'And do you know what I thought when I heard your voice, what I hoped beyond everything else when I saw you in that room with me? That you were there to save me! What an idiot! How stupid could I have been because this is what you do!' Her voice rose, tears in her eyes as she glared down at him. He rose from the couch and stepped around the table towards her, she took two steps back, away from him.
'No.' She held up her hands, 'You don't get to make this better. I wanted you to save me and there you were, the reason I was kidnapped in the first damn place! Of course!' She threw her hands up in the air, a humourless laugh on her lips.
'What did you say to Edgar to stop him from hurting me? That you wanted to punish me yourself?' She asked 'Well here I am! Do your worst, it couldn't possibly hurt more than it does…' The tears came then, overflowing, her voice cracking. She choked back a sob as he took a step towards her.
'Stop.' She told him a hand raised towards him. She moved away, skirting a sofa and chair to stand by the fire place. She shuddered at the warmth, 'How fucking stupid am I?' She sobbed turning away from him. She rested both hands against the high mantle, fingertips gripping the edge of the wood. 'It was you all along…' She whispered, she felt like she was being ripped apart. She squeezed her eyes shut as the events of the day bombarded her synapses, flashing on repeat. She could feel Edgar's hands on her, hear his voice in her ear, smell him on her.
'Elizabeth…' He said softly. She jumped when he said her name, he was a few steps behind her, she whirled around, picking up a glass figurine from the mantle and hurling it towards him. It missed by a mile, his face darkened, a frown knitting his brows together but still he let her carry on.
'You don't get to make excuses for what you did…' This wasn't how she wanted this to go, she didn't want to be crying. She wanted to show him that what he did wasn't okay. She was hurt, she had thought he was there to save her but admitting that to him seemed… Weak. Maybe the drugs were still in her system, maybe she was beyond exhausted but the tears wouldn't stem.
'Something is broken in you if you think drugging and kidnapping someone shows them how much you love them. You don't know how to love!' She spat at him, the tears still flowing freely. She swiped furiously at them, turning away from him back toward the fire. She rubbed her temples, her head banged with all the pent up emotion.
He was behind her and she hadn't noticed, he reached out and placed a hand against her shoulder, running his hand down the length of her arm.
'No!' She said, turning towards him as he gripped both her arms. She tried to wriggle free, struggling against his grip but he had a firm hold, she tried to push him away but what little strength she had left had evaporated. She raised her fists half heartedly pounded against his chest as he pulled her towards him,
'Lizzy…' He breathed and she melted into him, sobbing the last of her strength leaving her body. She half collapsed against him, her face buried between his shoulder and neck. He held her tight against him, her arms were folded under her, fistfuls of his shirt still in her hands. She shuddered with every sob, he moved a hand to stroke the back of her head, her hair loose between his fingers.
'I'm sorry…' He whispered against her ear and she believed him.
