Disclaimer: Not mine, no matter how much I love them.

Author's Note: I wrote this for JeSouhaite as a personal thank you for almost a year of fannish fun and friendship and as a public thank you for creating such a wonderful space for us to share our stories. Author's Note 2: I also have to thank my amazing betas, CineFille and Bridges. I've been struggling with the way that my speculative details fit into the current storyline and they've helped me smooth the edges. And they can attest to the fact that I wrote this before I ever heard April say Morse code.

Rory

January signals the end of the holidays and my return to Yale, which brings about such a mixed bag of feelings. I've missed school terribly, so I'm excited to be back, but nervous at the same time. I'm torn about leaving home too. I'm grateful for the time Mom and I have had to reconnect and even more than I missed Yale, I missed home. But at the same time, 'home' doesn't sound the same in my head anymore. It's not the same place I left way back in May.

It doesn't even look the same. In fact, the only part of the house that didn't change during the renovations was my room. Everything else was altered in large or small ways. To accommodate a larger family. To accommodate Luke.

Growing up I got so used to the way Mom kept her dating life separate from my life, that I'm surprised at how comfortable she is having Luke living in our house. My coming home to Stars Hollow was an adjustment for all of us. As much as Mom (and Luke too) wanted me home, the two of them had gotten used to having the house to themselves. Since Luke's never been one to put his affection on display, I could tell I was cramping their style. When Mom came up behind him while he was cooking and gave him a hug, he tensed just a bit. When they were curled up together on the couch watching TV and I came in, Luke would sit up quickly like a teenager caught necking.

He never said anything, or was anything other than completely happy to see me. It's just that they'd spent several months turning our house into their house and once I came back, I could tell that Luke felt a little like a guest. And the thing is, I felt the same way. I want it to feel like home to him, but I also remember being able to walk around in my pajamas without feeling self-conscious or wandering into my mom's bedroom to go through her clothes. No matter how happy I am for my mother, I still miss that.

I've only been back at Yale a few days - just long enough to be introduced to the challenges of apartment living, get used to Paris again, and have Logan begin the process of winning me back – when Mom asks me to come home to have dinner with her and Luke. They have something to talk to me about. There's really only one thing I can imagine them wanting to tell me, but Mom won't fess up, she just tells me that they want to tell me in person.

Given what I've assumed, I'm surprised about how nervous they are, particularly Luke. For some reason they've decided we should eat first, so we spend the whole meal doing this weird small talk stuff with lots of questions about my first few days back at Yale. By the time we're finished eating, I'm completely baffled and more than a little worried. They wouldn't be this nervous about telling me Mom's pregnant, would they?

But what they have to tell me is an entirely different kind of kid news and it shakes the very foundation of my reality. He has a daughter? April, I think he said. It just changes everything, for him, for him and mom, and for all of us. So it's a lot to take in. I'm not sure how his daughter fits into their lives, into our lives. We were just getting used to being together, the three of us.

In the weeks just after I returned to Stars Hollow, Luke had worked more and he'd seemed, if possible, just a bit more taciturn than usual. I'd asked Mom about it and she reminded me about his 'dark day' and told me it was likely responsible for the change in his mood this time of the year. So I shrugged it off, chalking it up to the anniversary of one of the worst moments of his life, and tried not to think it was about me coming back to reclaim my space in my mom's life. I couldn't help but think it was related though, since I felt that same feeling – that while I was away finding myself, my mom found her other half, her partner. For a long time, that was me.

Now that they're telling me about April, I'm a little relieved that I might not have been the cause of the discontent. But I realize that this means that they've known all this time – the whole time I was living there. I can't hide my shock, and I've never seen Luke look quite so wounded. I look back and forth between them, settling on my mom, "How could you not tell me this? It's just like the engagement."

I'm standing now and I'm not sure when that happened, but I turn to leave the kitchen. Luke calls out, "Rory, your mom didn't…she didn't know…"

I'm halfway to the living room when I hear my mom shushing Luke and telling him that she'll talk to me and she'll explain.

She catches up to me in the living room, pulling me down onto the couch. "Rory, we weren't hiding it from you. He didn't tell me until a couple of days ago."

I look at her in disbelief. "He didn't tell you? For six weeks?"

"Seven, but who's counting?" she quips, with just a tiny touch of bitterness. She covers it up quickly though, adding, "He needed time. He needed to figure it out."

I'm not going to let her brush it off, "But you're getting married. How can he…How can you let him…" If he's going to be her partner, if he's going to take that spot, how can he hurt her like that?

"You're right. He screwed up, and he knows it, and I know it, and it hurt. But Rory, it's bigger than that. He has a kid, and no one told him for twelve years. He has a kid, but he's not even sure if she wants him in her life. He needs me."

As she tells me this, her voice quietly insistent, I'm amazed by the woman sitting next to me, by the woman my mother has become. The Lorelai I knew would have been freaked out by this, might have started to pull away, but this Lorelai is in love with Luke, in a way that I can only begin to comprehend. This is the most vivid picture I've had of it and it stuns me. It's not flirty Lorelai greeting Luke at the door. It's not grateful Lorelai going on about all the wonderful things Luke has done for her. It's the Lorelai who has dropped everything: hurt, anger, jealousy and pride, because Luke needs her. It's this Lorelai who convinces me that Luke needs me too. That he needs me to understand.

Later, when I've processed some of the anger and hurt on behalf of my mom I'll be able to think about it more logically. I'll start to ask myself some of the questions that I'm sure have been plaguing my mother. Who is this woman, Anna? What did she mean to Luke? How could she go so long without telling Luke about his child? But right now, she's asking me to understand and I'm going to do my best to do that.

Luke gives Mom and I quite a bit of time before he comes into the living room with pie and ice cream, handling it like a peace offering. We eat quietly and I ask a few questions about April. I don't stay long after we're done, but before I leave I give my mom and huge hug, then turn to Luke and throw my arms around him wordlessly. I hear him start to apologize, "I'm-" but I shake my head, not sure whether I'm saying it's not necessary or that I'm not ready to hear it yet, so he just takes a deep breath and says, "Thank you, Rory."


It's several weeks before I meet April. Luke has a few solo dinners with her before bringing her home to meet Mom. A couple of weeks after that, they invite me. I am struck by how she's just like Luke and yet the last person I would expect to be related to him. She's got his practical outlook on life. Things are the way they are, sometimes it's annoying, but ultimately it is what it is. She doesn't shy away from conversation the way Luke sometimes does, but neither does she speak without purpose and her words have that same blunt honesty that Luke's often do. She hides her emotions too, just like him. They've both got their passions, but you have to dig a little to get them to express them. Luke cares deeply about his family, no matter how he brushes off his sister's antics. April loves science and numbers, facts and theories and conclusions.

She's a science geek and thinking about her being Luke's daughter amuses me. He's never struck me as the model student, not because he couldn't do it, but because he's always had other responsibilities that have superceded school work on his priority list. I've never been sure if he went to college, but I know he doesn't feel completely comfortable with intellectuals. It's just not who he is, so I can tell he doesn't quite know what to make of this girl in front of him going on about DNA evidence for evolutionary theory.

Maybe it's the school thing that makes the two of us click. She asks me lots of questions about Yale, about classes. We don't have much in common in the way of academic interests, but that doesn't seem to stop her.

Or maybe it's something else. I think that every only child at some point wishes for a sibling. I certainly did, though there's a kind of desperation in a wish like that when your mom is single and just barely in her twenties. You watch TV or read stories about children and their brothers and sisters and imagine how wonderful it would be if you had someone your own age to play with. I'm sure that my dreams were idealized to the point of ridiculousness.

So maybe that's what this comfort is about. In this unlikeliest of scenarios, we're about to get something we never thought we'd have.

Then again, maybe it's just that I'm the only one in the room younger than 30.


About a month later, when Luke tells me that he wants to introduce me to Maisie and Buddy, that they've been wanting to meet me, I'm intrigued, but more than a bit confused at how nervous he looks asking me. Mom explains later that there is more to it than that. Luke feels like he's been spending a lot of time with April and that he doesn't want me to feel left out. It's sweet, really, and though I feel none of what he fears, I do feel like everything that's happened has made us wary around each other. His eyes still hold a touch of guilt about the secret he kept, in spite of the fact that both Mom and I have done our best to support him and welcome April. The residual tension makes me miss the relative ease with which we always communicated.

Luke is waiting in the living room when I come out of my room, dressed for dinner. He looks nervous and I suddenly have this weird first-date feeling - not in a creepy, incesty way, but in a 'Oh my god, what are we going to talk about for two hours?' way. This is compounded by the fact that Luke has just told me I look nice and I've returned the compliment. I glance over at my mom and she's giving us this strange look, like amusement, with some wistfulness thrown in for good measure. I'm in the middle of wondering what's on her mind, when she starts talking and makes me think that maybe she'd just been trying to decide which one of us to pick on. She chooses Luke.

"Now don't you go keeping him out too late. He has an eleven o'clock curfew. He's got to get his beauty sleep, so that he can get up early enough to make me coffee before he leaves for the diner."

Luke just rolls his eyes, then gives me one of those 'your mom is crazy' looks.

I return his look with a shrug and a small grin, and all that weird discomfort melts away as we fall back on that which we've shared for years – the mocking of my mother.

Before we have a chance to launch into it full steam, she pushes us out the door saying, "Say hello to Maisie and Buddy for me, okay?"

That look is back again, and I think maybe it is wistfulness. That maybe my mom is a little sad to be left out of this outing, but then she grins, adding, "And remember what I told you – don't bother to order!" and I am left to wonder what she's really feeling.

When we get inside Luke's truck, he hands me a CD case and says, "Why don't you pick something out? It's not too far, but it'll take us fifteen or twenty minutes to get there."

I nod and open the case, flipping through the titles. I'm impressed at the selection. Really impressed. And shocked. "Wow, Luke. Are these yours?"

He hesitates a beat, then nods. I give him an approving look and a few seconds later he adds sheepishly, "They're the ones your mom made me get."

"Oh," I say, and I get it. This is Luke, accommodating my mother, just like he's always done. I flip through a few more, then stop, looking over at him thoughtfully. "Do you hate these? Cause we could listen to something else."

"No, I don't hate them, but don't tell your mom that." He winks at me. "It'll ruin her fun."

And then I laugh, because I'm already having fun and we haven't even gotten to the restaurant yet. "Okay. Deal. But that means you have to pick the music. Because seriously, if my mom picked these, it means I'm guaranteed to like all of them, so we should listen to something you'll like."

He starts to protest, but changes his mind. "Okay, how about U2?"

"War or Rattle and Hum?"

"War."

He says it so definitively that I give him a curious glance.

He says, by way of explanation, "The early stuff is better. They kinda sold-out after that and then Bono went and got a Messiah complex."

I'm tempted to argue, because I sense the potential for a great rant, but instead I just nod and mentally store away the information as I pop the CD into the player.

When we enter the restaurant, Luke steers us toward a table with so little hesitation that I quip, "Well you certainly know your way around here. Is this where you bring all the girls?"

Before I've had a chance to process that statement and figure out if it felt inappropriate, I hear a friendly voice behind me saying, "Only the important ones." I turn to see an older woman planting a quick kiss on Luke's cheek. "Hello, Lucas. You certainly do find all the prettiest young ladies. I don't know how you do it," she teases.

"Maisie-" Luke starts in protest, but she's already turned her attention back to me.

"Well, you must be Lorelai's girl. Rory, is it?"

I nod. "And you must be Maisie. My mom's told me a lot about you."

"Well, that's sweet. Tell her hello for me. It's been a while. Why is that, Lucas?" He opens his mouth to answer, but she continues speaking as if she didn't realize she'd asked a question. "The last time she was here she brought pictures of that darling dog. Oh, the stories she told us about him. You know Rory, your mother is a quite a character. Is she still trying to teach him Morse code?"

"Uh, I don't know, but I wouldn't put it past my mom to try." I answer, trying not to laugh out loud at the suggestion.

"Well, look at me going on. I should let you sit and get comfortable." She gestures to the booth and hands them menus. "I'll be back in a few minutes."

Once we've sat down, I turn to Luke. "Morse code? She was teaching Paul Anka Morse code? Where did that come from?"

Luke sighs and shakes his head. "Yeah…well, one day he was barking and she swore he was intentionally making long and short barks, so she looked up Morse code and that was that. She spent weeks trying to interpret every sound he made."

I chuckle, though whether I'm reacting to the image of my mom trying to talk to the dog or the look of amused exasperation on Luke's face is an open question. "As if Paul Anka needs another way to communicate his neuroses. How'd she end up with such a freakish dog, anyway? In fact, how'd she end up with a dog at all?"

He gestures with his hands, as if brushing away the thought. "I take no responsibility for the existence of the dog. I just showed up and he was there. And I'm not convinced he really is that neurotic, but there's no arguing with your mother when she thinks she's right."

"Well you're right about that. So, Morse code, huh?"

Luke is trying to keep a straight face, but a small smirk escapes his lips. "She decided one day that he was telling her he didn't like purple, and of course she was wearing purple, so she had to change. Then, later he was playing around with one of those ridiculous toys she'd gotten him, which of course was purple."

He pauses for a moment, and I add, "But of course she'd already added purple to the list."

"Exactly, so she debated for a while and decided he'd been trying to tell her that he liked purple. When I told her I thought it was more likely the squirrels, she looks at me, 'Really? How did you figure that out?' Then she goes back to her little Morse code cheat sheet and she's mumbling, 'well if that were a long and not a short…' Then she looks up at me and says, 'You know Morse code?'" He shakes his and sighs, "She thinks the dog knows Morse code, but then she's surprised to think that I do."

"So are you trying to tell me you did learn Morse code?"

"Dear god, no," he chuckles. "There were squirrels. He was barking. He's a dog. Of course, there's no use trying to explain that to your mom."

"So you just let her go on thinking she's got the canine equivalent of The Rainman?" I ask, raising my eyebrows in amusement.

He lifts his hands in a gesture of defeat. "It wasn't hurting anyone. It made her happy to take care of him."

He leaves out the part where he explains that she needed to take care of the dog to fill in the empty space left when I moved out, but I'm pretty sure that we both know that's what it was about. I take a long sip of water, then add brightly, "Well, I guess you knew she was crazy when you agreed to marry her."

"That I did," he says knowingly. He looks like he's about to say something else, but then he looks away shyly and opens his menu.

I smile to myself and start to open mine, but stop, "Luke?"

He lifts his head to meet my eyes. "Yeah?"

"Thanks for taking care of her." I look down at where my fingers toy with the edge of the menu and take a breath before adding, "She's lucky to have you."

His response is a little bit gruff, "It goes both ways."

We're quiet then, both browsing our menus, in spite of the fruitlessness. After a few minutes, I close my mine. "I guess there's not much point in looking, huh?"

"There really isn't," he admits with a small smile.

"So," I start, needing to fill the quiet, "it was really good to see Jess when he was in town."

Luke nods. "I hope it was okay that I told him how to find you."

"Of course. I was so impressed when he showed me his book."

"Yeah." The pride in his voice is unmistakable.

A man I can only assume is Buddy brings us some salad and I realize that there's not even going to be the pretense of ordering. He introduces himself to me, saying that he's so glad Luke finally got around to bringing me here. Then he asks, "So did I hear right? Liz's boy wrote a book?"

Luke nods and Buddy runs to get Maisie so that she can hear about it as well. After they sufficiently chastise him for not having mentioned it earlier, he gives them all the details and promises to bring them copies the next time he's here.

We spend much of the time while we're eating talking about Jess. Luke fills me in on what he's been up to in the last couple of years and we talk about what we thought of his book. I can tell that he appreciates the opportunity to talk about him. When I was dating Jess, it sometimes felt like Luke was the only other person who really saw through all of the rebellious crap and understood what I saw in him. My mom…Lane, no one else really got it. Both of us saw the potential in him, and now that it's manifested itself I think we're both relishing in having been right.

"You know…" My voice trails off as I hesitate, wondering if I should admit what I'm about to say. It seems only fair to come clean. "Seeing Jess, with his book – it kind of made me think about everything. When he showed me what he'd been able to do, while I was sitting around planning DAR parties, it was a real kick in the butt."

"Really?" Luke looks touched, and pleased.

"Well, that, and Jess telling me I was being an idiot." Luke raises his eyebrows and I clarify, "I mean, he didn't use the word idiot, but that was the idea. He helped me put everything in perspective." I look at him, a little guiltily. "I didn't tell Mom. I wanted her to think I did it myself."

"You did. Everyone needs a little nudge occasionally." He gives me a smile that tells me my secret is safe with him. "I'm glad you and Jess are on good terms. I wouldn't want either of you to be uncomfortable at the wedding."

The way he says it makes me wonder if he's heard otherwise - possibly heard about our argument at the restaurant with Logan, though I can't imagine Jess discussing that with Luke. Luke's face is all concern, however, and it makes me think I should make the same considerations.

Logan I have been back together since the end of January. Although I've told my mom and I assume she's told Luke, we haven't really discussed it further. I know she was relieved to hear that we had split up. She's never really liked him, and frankly, she's got plenty of reason not to. But she only ever saw the worst snippets of our time together.

"As long as we're on the subject," I ask softly, taking a breath before continuing, "would it make anyone uncomfortable if I bring Logan?

Seeing the slight twitch on Luke's face that he's trying valiantly to hide, I add quickly, "If it's a problem, I don't have to ask him. He'd understand, I think."

Luke looks remorseful. "If you want him to come, he should come."

"Only if you're sure. If Mom's sure. I know that you guys don't like him." Even though I'm not trying to be manipulative, this comes out a little sadly.

Luke's reply is quiet, but firm, "Rory, if you're happy, there's nothing more for your mom or I to say about it."

I look down at my plate, wondering for a moment if that response has anything to do with the way that Luke's been treated by my grandparents and if Luke is trying to prevent the same thing from happening all over again. I appreciate his effort.

They don't really understand why I like him, that he's found something in me that no one else has ever seen. He's made me daring. And more than anyone else I've been with, we support each other. Luke should get this. He should understand this, because I'm not the only shy and serious person to fall for someone who is all about the fun, who is so different from myself that I don't understand what he sees in me.

"I am," I find myself saying. "He makes sure I don't take life too seriously."

Luke initially frowns, but his look softens as he processes what I've said. "Well, if he's going to be at the wedding, maybe we should have him to the house for dinner to get to know him better."

I hesitate for a beat, surprised by his suggestion, "Yeah?" I ask tentatively. He nods, giving me a small smile. "That would be really nice. Thank you, Luke."

He just shrugs and we have another one of those quiet moments that I manage to fill by asking about dessert. He just grins and tells me that it's certainly on its way. While we wait our conversation drifts back to the wedding and I ask, "Is April excited about being in the wedding?"

Luke gives a humorless laugh. "I wish I knew."

I'm thrown by the uncertainty in his voice. "I'm sure she is."

"Yeah, well…it's hard to tell what she thinks about any of it."

I don't respond right away, because I want to say the right thing to reassure him. I'm still formulating the words in my head when he says softly, "She doesn't call me 'Dad.'"

"Yes, she does."

"No, she doesn't," he insists.

"I heard her say something to Kirk in the diner the other day about her dad."

"But she's never called me 'Dad.'"

I purse my lips thoughtfully, "Maybe it sounds weird to her."

"Exactly, but that's my point."

"No, not weird like eww, who's this Dad guy. More like…I've lived for a long time without knowing who my Dad is and I need to get used to calling him Dad."

I can see Luke's brow wrinkle in skepticism. "Or, it's like 'who's this freak who out of the blue wants to be my dad, cause I'm not sure I need a dad anyway.'"

I shake my head and try to explain, "It's like when I met my other grandparents."

"Your other grandparents?"

"Dad's parents."

"Oh." Mentioning my dad in front of Luke obviously still causes that reaction.

"But anyway," I rush on, trying to get to the point, "I didn't remember them and it felt weird to call them Grandma and Grandpa when I really didn't know them."

"But eventually?" he asks hopefully.

"Well, since they pretty much said that my mom ruined my dad's life by having me and they kind of resent the fact that I exist, we don't really see them much…well, ever." Luke has this horrified look on his face at the matter-of-fact way I've shared this. "And then he died."

"I remember," Luke says stiffly, and I mentally slap myself for this whole conversation. "This is all encouraging how?"

I've succeeded only in bringing a terribly defeated look to his face, and I need to find the words to encourage him, to let him know that he's wrong to worry. He's always been unable, possibly unwilling, to see what he is to people. To understand how much he matters.

"She just needs to get used to having a dad before the words will sound right to her. But Luke, it doesn't have anything to do with you being her dad, or with you doing anything wrong. You're a wonderful father. You're doing everything right, and April is lucky to have you."

He looks down at his virtually empty plate for a while, poking at the few remaining bits of dessert with his fork. After several long moments, he looks up at me, clearly touched by my words. "Thanks."

I just nod in reply.

Then his brow furrows in concern, "They really said that? About you?"

I have to think for a minute about what he's referring to. "Well, it was mostly just Grandpa Straub, and sort of implied. My mom bore the brunt of it. It's okay. It was long time ago," I say casually, attempting to brush it off.

"It's not okay." His voice is low and even and I sigh in agreement.

"I know, but I guess my point is it doesn't matter in the long run. Who needs evil grandparents when I've got mom and my real grandparents and you and all of Stars Hollow?"

He gives me a soft smile, then smirks and asks wryly, "Who would've ever thought that Emily and Richard would turn out to be the good grandparents?"

I laugh out loud at that because I've never heard Luke say anything about my grandparents, much less a barb like that. I guess the wedding planning is getting to him. We spend the rest of the evening trying to out do each other with our respective Emily anecdotes, he with the wedding planning, and I with the DAR parties. We're still laughing when we pull up to the house with some leftover dessert for my mother.


Over the next couple of months, I spend a good chunk of time home, visiting Mom and Luke and getting to know April. Though Luke still cooks us all plenty of dinners at home, April joins Mom and me occasionally for dinner at the diner. We also manage to drag Luke to a few town festivals by inviting April to come see the real Stars Hollow. Whenever we're together, April and I spend some time catching up. She asks about the articles I'm working on for the paper and tells me about the experiments she's doing in her science class.

After all the time we've spent together, it seems only appropriate for April to spend the night before the wedding with Mom and me. Though April looked intrigued by the prospect, she looks slightly off-kilter when she first arrives. I'm surprised, because she and I have always seemed to connect. As much as I've seen similarities between she and Luke, shyness is not one of them. Though she's not really effusive, she doesn't seem to have his reluctance about social interactions.

I can't tell if it's the absurdity of our movie night rituals or the horror of our junk food, but she hangs back from us for a while, watching us with a look that at first glance appears to be disinterest, but I sense is just her reaction to feeling out of her element.

Mom and I wear her down gradually, and eventually she is smiling and laughing, and even participating in the mockery of circa 1980's Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore.

She asks if we do this often, the junk food and the movies. We laugh and say that it's not often enough. Then she asks if her dad ever joins us, or if it's only a girl's night thing. She hesitates before saying 'her dad,' and I think about what Luke said about her never calling him 'Dad.'

My mom answers her, saying that movie nights with Luke have slightly less junk food, more salad and a bit more arguing about the rules. April gives a knowing smile, and throws out a few more of the things that Luke must hate about our movie nights and it's then that I start to understand her discomfort.

As much as Luke claims not to know April, to never be sure if she wants to know him, it's Luke that brought her into our family, and it's as if without him she's lost her anchor. Once we've started mocking him, however, his presence is here and I can feel her comfort growing.

Later, she and I lay out our sleeping bags while my mom goes upstairs to put on her pajamas and brush her teeth.

I sit down on my bag, my back against the couch. April lays down on her side, her head propped up on her arm. She looks at me for a moment, then asks, "Do you see your dad much?"

"Sometimes. He lives in Boston."

"Was he around when you were growing up?"

"Not much. I talked to him on the phone a bunch, but he didn't stay in one place very long. I've seen him more lately, since he's been working in Boston."

"What does he do?"

It should be a simple question, but it's not and I'm kind of embarrassed not to immediately know the answer. I reach for some popcorn to stall while I try to come up with something to say. "He's been involved in starting up a bunch of businesses and he was working for a company that helped companies downsize," I hesitate a beat, and continue, "but I'm not sure if he's still working at the same place." I cringe inwardly at admitting how little I know about my father's work, but April just shrugs.

"How long have you known…my dad?"

"Ever since we moved into town. I was probably about your age. We started eating in the diner all the time. He and my mom got to be friends, and I guess the rest is obvious."

"But apparently it took them a while, right? At least if Miss Patty is to be believed." She lifts her eyebrows and I grin.

"Everyone knew it but them."

April's expression grows thoughtful, "You've known him almost my whole life. It's hard to believe that whole time, I was just living a couple of towns away."

"Yeah, it is." I'm not sure what more there is to say. She's missed out on so much. "At least you met him now."

"I guess. Better now than never." Though she's ever the optimist, there's a touch of sadness in her words. I don't get a chance to respond, because Mom is back and we're putting in a third movie that none of us plans to stay awake through.

I have trouble paying attention, distracted as I am by thoughts of fathers and daughters and missed opportunities and appreciating what you have.


The next morning we survive the endless dressing and primping and photo-taking without Mom strangling Grandma so, all in all, I think that we're doing quite well. Mom's in this state somewhat beyond impatience in which she's just letting the day float by, not exactly enjoying the craziness, but tolerating anything that gets her one step closer to the ceremony itself. There's a serenity about her that I didn't expect. She's almost solemn to the point that I wonder what has happened to my mother.

Until she walks down the aisle.

I have to work to keep myself from giggling in delight at the expression on her face. She looks absolutely giddy and Luke is looking at her as if there's no one else in the world but the two of them.

I glance at April and see her smiling, if a little tentatively, as if she's just realizing what this means for her father, and just realizing what it means for her. Jess catches my eye and gives me a knowing grin that seems to say 'it's about time.' I'm unsurprised, because it's such a typical smart-ass Jess kind of look and he's always rivaled my mom for his ability to mock Luke. Because of this, I am surprised when Luke takes my mom's hand and Jess's expression softens into something like awe.

The ceremony is short and sweet and in no time we're making our way back down the aisle and beginning the rituals of receiving lines, photos and first dances. Then the food comes out and there's a whole different kind of hubbub. I had my chance during the pictures to squeal with my mother and it's a measure of how happy she is that she doesn't grimace when she sees Logan hovering close by.

It's not until after we've eaten, and Logan's ensconced in conversation with my grandfather, that I see Luke nearby and excuse myself to talk to him. I've given him the obligatory hug, but I really want the chance to tell him how happy I am that he's a part of our family now.

Predictably, he blushes when I say it, so I change subjects and ask how he's enjoying the reception. I expect him to shrug it off and say that it's 'fine,' but he smiles and says sincerely, "Its perfect." When he sees the surprise on my face, he leans down and whispers conspiratorially, giving his bowtie a tug, "That doesn't mean I'll mind terribly when it's over."

I'm still chuckling when the music takes a sudden turn, slowing down considerably. Luke glances across the room, where my mom is talking to Patty and Babette, and turns to me, sighing, "Your mom's giving me that look."

"What look?"

"That 'don't expect to get through this night without dancing again' look."

"Well, if she's summoning you…" I say, gesturing across the room toward my mom.

He looks at her once again, then turns back to me, asking, "Rory, would you like to dance…with me?"

"I'd love to." He looks just a touch nervous, so I give him a reassuring smile as he leads me onto the dance floor.

Even though Mom has told me Luke can dance, I'm still impressed at how easily he moves me around, in and among the few other couples on the dance floor. The rest of the reception continues on around us and we laugh as we watch Emily alternatively amused and horrified at the antics of Kirk, Babette, Patty and the like.

No one stands around watching us, saying, "Isn't that sweet?" but somehow that makes it all the more right. This is the way it has always been with Luke: uncelebrated, unremarked, things done without being required.

I've never questioned that my dad loved me and would do anything for me, but every so often, his actions had a touch of obligation to them. This is different. Luke's not my dad, and though I know that others have thought of him as some sort of replacement for my father, I've never thought of him that way. I'm not even sure what to call what we have. He's just been there. Without obligation. Just because he wanted to be. For a long time.

I know this ceremony today has given our relationship a name, but it doesn't really cover what he's been to me, and after my conversation with April last night, I'm beginning to think that I've taken it for granted.

April is lucky to have Luke as her dad. He may doubt himself, but he is and he will be a wonderful father. Now that he's officially a part of my family too, I'm realizing just how lucky I've been all these years to have him in my life.

To be continued