Dear Readers: This novel does contain references to rape and abuse. I understand that these are sensitive topics, and I would not wish for any reader to suffer as a result of coming across these references without warning.

Be advised, this story is rated M.

Please do leave a review and let me know your thoughts, I am new to all this and would appreciate any feedback. xox.


Chapter 10

A half a day had passed since Elizabeth had stood in Anne Darcy's chamber and watched her husband depart in Lady Catherine's carriage. The footman had barely managed to shut the carriage door, before it had begun tearing down Netherfield drive and out of sight.

Had it all been a dream?

In no stretch of her imagination could she have imagined the proud and unpleasant Mr Darcy and his sickly wife would have been the one to come to her rescue. Unable to sit still, she stood from where she had been sitting upon the edge of her bed in her new chamber, placed closer to Mrs Darcy for the purposes of her new position as Anne's companion.

Elizabeth knew she was only the lady's companion in order to free her from her husband's abusive hand and vile temper, which begged the question…

"What happens to me now?" she whispered, still pacing.

Anne did not truly need her and now that Mr Collins was gone, why maintain the farce? They would most likely continue with the charade for their time here at Netherfield, for the sake of appearances. Would they pay her a reasonable wage and offer her a reference so that she might stand a chance of surviving until she could seek a position elsewhere? Or would they simply discard her?

"No, they would not go to such efforts only to abandon me. Why should they help me at all if that was there intent?" she voiced aloud.

A gentle knock on the door jolted her from her whirring thoughts. Calling for the person to enter, Elizabeth froze when she was struck by a frightening consideration, What if he has come back for me! Arrested with her fear she began to tremble, wide eyed, as the door slowly opened to reveal Jane standing her doorway.

"Jane?" Elizabeth gasped, a nervous bubble of laughter escaping.

"Lizzy, I wanted to see how you were?" Jane said, still holding her position in the doorway.

Elizabeth knew she was waiting to be invited in, but she could not form the words, "I am fine, thank you." She replied instead.

"Yes, good. I am glad." Jane said awkwardly.

The both glanced away looking around the room, hoping for the inspiration of what to do next or something to say.

"How do you find your new room?" Jane added uneasily.

"Very well, thank you," Elizabeth replied.

"That is good…" Jane mumbled clasping her hands before her.

Both stood looking at one another, wanting desperately to speak, but not able to be easy with one another as they once were. Neither were ready to apologise or speak of their hurt. Turning to leave, Jane paused with hand on the doorknob and turned to look at Elizabeth over her shoulder.

"I lied before… I – Charles is…" Jane looked away, but not before a tear fell from her eye. Dashing it away with her thumb, she offered a small smile and left.

Elizabeth turned away from the door and made her way over to the edge of the bed and lowered to sit upon it once more. She knew that she should go after her, but she was not a good parson's wife and could not summon the strength to feel any empathy for her sister. After feeling so much for so long she needed this reprieve to simply feel nothing. She would work now to figure out who she had become and what she wanted from this life she had been given. After Christmas she would worry about how she would survive and maintain her independence, but not now.

Due to Anne's fatigue she requested dinner in her rooms and much to Elizabeth's relief, her new duties as companion allowed her to stay with her. The chamber's that Mr and Mrs Darcy had been allocated were spacious and even had a private sitting room, which was even better as it meant they could eat with a bit more comfort. Mr Darcy had attended the dinner and returned just as Elizabeth was entering the adjoining sitting room after helping Anne to bed into the adjoining sitting room.

Anne's health seemed to be quite bad the past few days, but she had assured Elizabeth that it was always this way at this time of year, but it was still a cause for concern. Especially for someone such as she who had been fortunate to not have much experience with sickness.

She looked up at Mr Darcy and saw that he was watching her as he often did. Again, she now recognised the desire in his brooding blue gaze.

"Mr Darcy," she said with a curtsey, as she tried to ignore her fluttering heart.

"Miss Elizabeth," he replied, with a bow.

Elizabeth did not fail to notice how he neglected to use her married name. It pleased her that he did not think of her Mrs Collins.

"Anne is sleeping, I fear this winter is being quite harsh on her." she said with concern.

"Yes, the colder climate seems to settle heavy upon her chest, but she refuses to move to warmer climate." Darcy replied, gesturing to the sideboard, "would you like to join me for a drink?"

After a brief moment's hesitation, she accepted a small glass of sherry seated herself on the settee beside the hearth. Once seated, she shifted to face him fully and watched Mr Darcy's tall frame moving with lithe elegance as he folded himself into the armchair opposite, a lock of his dark hair fell across his forehead. Elizabeth's stomach knotted as she could not curb her fascination, watching his strong hands and long fingers brush it back. Her gaze dropped to his, pleased to find that he was looking into his glass and did not see her obvious perusal of his person.

The sat in silence for a while, which was neither uncomfortable nor awkward. Both looking to each other in different moments as they were ruminating over the events of the day…

"Where will you and Anne go after Christmas?" Elizabeth asked Mr Darcy.

"We have not decided yet." he replied.

"You do not have definite plans for London?" she asked, trying to keep her voice level.

If she were to have any chance at surviving on her own, she would need to go to London. Hopefully her funds would tide her over until she found another position. Mr Darcy frowned as he looked at her, before his features smoothed out as understanding dawned.

"Miss Elizabeth, we will not abandon you and nor will we leave you out of pocket. We have not discussed it fully as Anne and I would wish to find out what it is you wanted out of this arrangement."

"Oh?" she replied, arching her brow at him.

"I would have thought, you would like to be in control of your own future for a change." He said plainly.

Elizabeth stiffened at his reply, "What has Anne told you?"

"Nothing of a revealing nature, but it is obvious you wish to be free of Mr Collins…" he said, his head tilting slightly as if the angle would help him assess her better.

"Is that so? Do tell me what brought you to such a revelation," she quipped.

"I would assume it is fairly obvious," he replied.

"I though you of all people would know it is not wise to assume anything, Mr Darcy," came her quick retort.

"Oh, come now. It obvious to all that you despise your husband!"

Elizabeth let out an unladylike bark of laughter, "Is that so?"

"Forgive me but have my wife and I made a grave error in separating you from Mr Collins?" he said, his sarcasm heavy.

Elizabeth's eyes flashed with her anger, "No, you know you have not."

"Then why are we even wasting our breath on such a discussion?" he asked incredulously.

"Because I am trying to understand what has happened! I do not mean to appear ungrateful, but it is not an uncommon occurrence for a man and his wife to fall out of love," she replied.

"And did you?" was his response.

"Did I, what?" Elizabeth replied puzzled.

"Love him?" he said softly.

The room fell quiet as both sat in contemplation of the other.

They continued this way in a tense silence, before Elizabeth finally stood. Instead of standing with her as society dictates all gentlemen should, Mr Darcy simply rested his head upon the back of the armchair and maintained his study of her.

"I am leaving. You will not stand?" she said with hotly.

"No." he said with a quirk of his lips.

Her irritation flared.

"Are you deliberately trying to vex me?" she asked, with a small huff.

"No," he said this time with a shrug.

"I thought you were proper in all things, sir," she snapped.

He considered her words for a moment, "No, not in all things…" he replied, his gaze falling to her lips for a fraction, before his stormy gaze ensnared her once more.

Taking pity on her, Mr Darcy stood, his impressive height towering over her. Elizabeth reflexively took a step back as he performed a perfunctory bow, "Good evening, Miss Elizabeth," he said, humour twinkling in his eyes.

"Mr Darcy," she croaked bobbing a small curtsey.

He moved around her, shrugging out of his jacket as he went. Mesmerised, she watched his muscles bunching and moving beneath his waistcoat and shirt with his movements. Turning he caught her watching him. A shiver ran through at the heat scorching her, through his gaze.

Elizabeth waited expectantly for the fear she felt when her husband looked at her before he pounced, but it didn't come. She waited and waited and so did Mr Darcy. He made no move to approach her, though she could if he wanted to and no one would stop him, not that there was anyone else present to. Another thing which should have intimidated her.

Her gaze narrowed as she tried desperately to understand why he would look at her like that and not use his privilege as a man and take what he desired. The longer she looked at him, Elizabeth began to realise that his look did not come close to resembling her husband's. Mr Collins always had a depravity and hard maniacal look in his eyes. More than that, he had a revelry about him and relished causing pain and dominance over another.

When Mr Darcy looked at her, he appeared himself more vulnerable. His gaze held a strong respect and admiration for her. He always seemed to look at her in such a way when she stood up for herself and challenged him…

As Darcy stood there allowing her look at him, it took everything in him to make himself less imposing and keep his gaze and expression unguarded. He knew not what she had endured as the parson's wife, but she was not the Elizabeth he left behind just a few years ago. She was still breathtakingly lovely in visage and her mind was still quick and her wit sharp. However, her essence was dulled and her happiness and jovial spirit nearly extinguished.

Anne had not told him anything other than they must help Elizabeth be rid of Mr Collins. He assumed his wife's emphatic insistence was perhaps a similarity she found between her life before marriage to what Elizabeth now suffered in marriage. He could only sympathise of how she had suffered listening to that idiot Collins' sermonising and prattling on and on. Darcy could not however, linger on thoughts of marital relations and hoped that she had been fortuitous in that her marriage resembled his with Anne, only in that instance it would be the husband being unable to perform. Looking away and pouring himself another drink, he shook his head to dispel the image he had just conjured.

"Is there something else you wished to ask me, before retiring?" he asked, more in an effort to distract himself.

"I am just trying to make you out Mr Darcy," she answered.

"You are still trying to sketch my character? You mentioned the very same thing when we danced together at the ball held here," he teased.

"I thought I was a good judge of character, but clearly I was wrong…" she replied.

Turning back to face her, he asked, "And why do you think you are not a good judge of character?"

"If you had asked me even this morning, I would not have said you were capable of teasing, Mr Darcy!" she teased.

Darcy smiled at the reminder that the old Elizabeth Bennet was still beneath her sad and worn façade of Mrs Collins.

"But you must not tell anyone," he said leaning towards her a little conspiratorially, even though they were still some distance apart.

Elizabeth chuckled at that, the sound foreign to her ears and pulled at her still sore ribs. But it felt good to do so after so long.

"Well, I really should be going Mr Darcy. Thank you for sharing a drink with me. I shall leave you to your solitude," she said, dipping into a curtsey and leaving before he could respond.

Elizabeth went back to her new room and allowed her new friend; Hannah to ready her for bed. As she rested her head back on the pillows a noise outside had her sitting upright and alert. It took Elizabeth a moment to remember she was in a new room.

There was no adjoining door.

Mr Collins was no longer at Netherfield.

And even if he were to come back, he would not know which room she had been moved to.

But just to be certain she moved to place a chair behind the door as there was no key in the lock. This way should anyone enter she would here the chair legs scrape across the wooden floorboards. Once back in bed she looked up at the canopy.

"All will be better in time," she said to herself.

Breathing a sigh of relief Elizabeth closed her eyes and drifted in a nightmare free sleep. She did wake a few times at the odd noise or movement within the house, but, for the first time in two years she felt truly rested when she awoke the next day.