Dear Readers: This novel does contain references to rape and abuse. I understand that these are sensitive topics, and I would not wish for any reader to suffer as a result of coming across these references without warning.

Be advised, this story is rated M.

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Chapter 14

A short while later, dressed as her old self, Elizabeth took in her reflection. Jane had insisted she wear one of her newer gowns in a blush pink with puffed sleeves, with a lilac ribbon cinching her in at the waist. Her hair had been styled as she would have worn it before she married with her sable hair curled to rest against her temples. The rest of her hair was woven into a simple yet elegant bun and falling into one large ringlet through the centre.

The dress was little lower cut than she had ever worn before, but then as any other married woman she should have been used to the daring of this cut, which in turn made it not so daring. Though, she felt closer to her old self a moment of sadness came over her. She was dressed as the Elizabeth she was desperately fighting to get back too but she was not yet there. Her face still a touch gaunt and her figure too slight. With a shake of her head, she banished such critiques so as not to spoil her mood. This night she was just Elizabeth and she vowed to put all other things aside.

Jane had left to see to Charlie when Mr Bingley and the others had returned from Longbourn, with their parents and sisters and were to meet by the main staircase before they would walk to dinner together. And so, she decided to go and see if Anne was awake and would keep her company until it was time to go down to join the rest of the guests.

She found Anne propped up against her pillows, breathing heavily, her expression far away.

"Anne?" Elizabeth said gently, so as not to startle her.

"Oh Elizabeth," Anne croaked.

Her eye widened as Elizabeth moved closer to her.

"Look at you, you are looking so well! Step into the light so I can see you properly," she demanded, making Elizabeth chuckle.

"Well? Will I do?" she asked, partly in jest and partly in earnest.

"It is so lovely to see you in some colour. You look very pretty Lizzy," she complimented sincerely, "May ask what the cause was for this transformation?" she said coughing after her question and wincing at the pain it caused.

Elizabeth helped her to a drink of water, supporting her neck as she did so, "Perhaps I should stay with you and take dinner here in case you have need of me?" Said Elizabeth with concern.

"Nonsense, I have sally to help if I need anything," she said flicking her eyes over to the maid that Elizabeth had failed to notice, ensconced on the other side of the room, altering one of Anne's gowns.

"Ah, I see you are well taken care of, then."

"Yes, now please tell me what I have missed," Anne said with a pointed look.

"I had not planned it, but I have spent my day with my sister Jane. I confess we have talked through most things that were causing much of the discomfort between us. There are still issues we have yet to tackle, but Rome was not built in a day."

"Oh, Lizzy. I am glad! And she gave you this gown?"

"Yes, and I must give her ownership for my entire restoration and restyling," she said, self-consciously patting her hair.

"I have to say, your hair is most becoming styled that way." Anne said, before she became breathless and had to take a moment to still her tremor's and catch her breath.

"Truly, how are you feeling, my dear?" said she, settling into the seat next to her.

"I am well. I am well. It is always worse straight after. I will start showing improvement in a few days and be well in time for Christmas," she tried, smiling weakly.

"Hmmm," Elizabeth replied unconvinced, "Will Mr Darcy be joining you this evening?"

"No, I have given him the evening off! Please try to lighten his mood, he can be so serious. It is no good for him. He seems livelier around you," Anne whispered as fatigue started to overwhelm her, but she could not resist trying to push Elizabeth and Darcy together, "I see you are hesitant, but his disposition is to hold the weight of the world upon his sh-shoulders," she said growing wearing.

"Do not distress yourself further. I shall leave you to rest and-"

"Please promise me you will try to be patient with him this evening, he does not show his emotions, but I fear he will need someone he can trust to lean on. Knowing him as I do, he would not feel easy speaking of such things with Mr Bingley, with all that his marriage is having to endure."

"I shall try, but I can see you are in great need of rest. Where it is appropriate, I will see if I can make him participate in this evening and give his mind a little reprieve. I will leave you now and come and read to you tomorrow if you are feeling up to it," she said, but Anne's eyes had already begun to droop, "Sleep well, Anne."

As she exited Anne's room, she looked up to find Jane coming in search of her.

"How is she?" Jane asked with genuine concern.

"She is doing better but in need of much rest," she replied.

"That is good. I came to check on her before going to Charlie earlier, but she was sleeping," she revealed as she linked her arm with Elizabeth's and steered them towards the stairs, "I must ask Mr Darcy, what she prefers for breakfast when she is feeling unwell or anything that will bring her comfort whilst she is confined to her bed."

Their chatter continued on in this way until they reached the bottom of the main staircase.

"Lizzy, I hope you know you may lean on me if you should need me this evening. Mama, Kitty, Mary, and Lydia will be in attendance at dinner tonight. Papa has declined his invitation so that is something at least," Jane said uncertainly.

"Jane, please do not worry, all will be well. And I confess I am relieved that Papa is not here, thought my relationship with Mama has yet to be acknowledged and I have yet to see Mary since my arrival. I am excited to see Kitty again, too. I fear my conduct when last we spoke was not as she would have hoped." She reassured.

"Well, that makes two of us, I am afraid I am no longer Mama's favourite, all that matters to her is Lydia," Jane revealed a sadness settling into her eyes.

"I suggest we ignore all these things and aim to enjoy ourselves this evening as we would have at an assembly in Meryton! We shall laugh and be merry."

"I should like that very much, sister."

"Capitol! Capitol!" exclaimed Elizabeth and both girls laughed at her imitation of Sir William Lucas, who was known in the county for his enthusiasm for the word. Which reminded Lizzy that she needed to speak to Jane at some point regarding Charlotte.

"Lizzy!" Gasped Kitty as she rushed over to them when she and Jane entered the parlour.

Elizabeth took in the astonished look on the faces of the others in the room, not failing to notice that her Mama neglected to acknowledge them.

"Kitty, it is so good to see you again," she said as Kitty beamed at her.

Mary joined them looking much as she did before, however she had grown into her looks; her nose looked more proportionate to her features, her hair did not look too dark and her skin had cleared giving her a pleasing appearance.

Mary gave a small curtsey and had this been when she had first arrived, Elizabeth may have returned the greeting, but instead she pulled both sisters into a warm embrace.

Stepping back, she exclaimed, "My, what fine ladies you have grown into! You are not so little anymore! Tell me what you have both been up to?" she asked as Caroline joined them.

Soon they were all laughing and chatting amiably that even Lydia joined them, not wanting to be left out.

Mr Darcy had been sat at the other end of the room, distractedly sipping at his wine and not even bothering to participate in the conversation around him. Being a quiet man by nature he had never been suited to small talk and found it a tedious waste of time. In his present mood, the evening could've have only been worse if he had been made to attend a ball!

But he knew why they were spending Christmas here, Bingley needed him to sort out his marriage. He had been shocked when Charles had told him the truth about Charlie's true mother, and something just did not ring true about whole situation. It was impossible to imagine his friend capable of cheating on his wife or even having a mistress, let alone bedding his wife's sister, not when both he and Jane had been deliriously happy in their marriage. What was odder was the fact that he could not remember a thing about that evening…

Darcy released a weary sigh; his head was beginning to pound. Perhaps he shouldn't have left Anne this evening. True he had not left her alone, if her health should deteriorate someone would fetch him immediately, and he had promised her to stop fussing and leave her to sleep.

Suddenly his head snapped up and his breath caught at the unmistakable musical sound of laughter, from the one thing in life he could not have.

Time seemed to suspend as all other thoughts and guests became a distant afterthought, only one thought assaulted his mind, body and soul… Elizabeth.

His breath caught and his heart raced as he drank her in, while she stood next to her sister and Miss Bingley, laughing in a most carefree manner. A hauntingly beautiful vision of the Elizabeth from his fantasies. Her eyes sparkling and her head tilted backwards lightly so that her silken hair dangled to dance across her shoulders, simultaneously giving him a tantalising view of the column of her throat and her décolletage, no longer hidden by her drab and matronly fitchu.

When Elizabeth had entered the drawing room, her body had felt incredibly alive. She was aware of how all in attendance had paused when she entered longer than one should, before coming to greet her with much enthusiasm. All accept Mr Darcy, who instead had maintained his position at the other side of the room, staring at her an intensity that made her race to catch her breath. Dressed as she was, she felt his eyes on her in a keener, sharper way. An emotion she could not name flooded through her and though it was unsettling it was not unpleasant.

Steeling herself she chanced a look at him. Mr Darcy instantly looked away and turned to look out of the window at the night sky. Before she could think on what it meant that he would behave this way, dinner was announced. Their small party had dispensed with the formalities of being escorted to dinner as everyone made their way to the dining room in conversation which had appeared to divide the sexes.

During dinner, Mr Darcy did not look at her unless he had to. Jane and Bingley sat in terse silence, though he tried on more than one occasion to speak to her. Mrs Bennet was quiet much as she had been on her last visit which was rather odd, and Lydia kept speaking of little Charlie. At one point had boldly referred to him as her son, before acting as though it were an accident.

"Oh, we spend so much time together sometimes I feel like he more than just my nephew!" she had said, with a wicked glint in her eye.

At Jane's embarrassment, Elizabeth had quickly moved to give her younger sister a set down, when Mr Bingley had beat her to it!

"If it is too much, do not feel you must come and spend so much time with him. Perhaps you ought not to accompany us when we go to Brighton in the spring," he said happily, but Elizabeth could sense the undercurrent of the threat.

Lydia had made to speak when Mrs Bennet had cut in, "Not accompany you to Brighton! What a notion! Who knew you had such a sense of humour," she said harshly.

To which Mr Bingley had gripped his cutlery until his knuckles had paled and signalled for another drink. This shocked Elizabeth as she had never seen him so out of sorts, but at Jane's pointed look to his wine glass, she had to acknowledge he did partake generously of an evening. It made his disgrace of wedding vows easier to credit.

"Goodness me, my dear Mrs Bennet, it is a good thing you are family, otherwise one might take offense at such a speech towards the master of this property and the one in Brighton you are so eager to visit this spring," Caroline chuckled and wiping the smug grin from Lydia's countenance.

Throughout the whole exchange, Kitty and Mary looked mortified. It is clear that with their age they had learned a great deal of sense and decorum. Handling themselves very well as young ladies. Though, Mary had never been one to get involved, but Kitty had always followed Lydia's example and it seemed that was no longer the way of things.

After dinner Mr Darcy had found a quiet corner of the room and tried desperately not to look at Elizabeth.

He failed.

It was impossible, she stood at the other end of the room and still she felt as though she were surrounding him. Her scent, her glow, her everything, pulling him deeper and deeper and shattering the control he had always prided himself in. True it had been a long time since he had laid with a woman, or seen a woman whom he was attracted to, but he was no green lad! He had vowed he would be better and do better for Anne's sake. Sadly, it seemed to be proving more difficult than he could have ever perceived.

Mayhap Bingley did cheat? He certainly would not have thought he were such a man, but here he was surrounded by people and all he could do was lust and fantasize over a woman, while his wife lay upstairs frightfully ill.

Darcy's lip curled in disgust at himself. Deciding he needed to take a moment to collect himself if he were going to continue with this night. He would not be a coward; tonight, was the perfect opportunity to watch Miss Lydia and see if he could try to find the truth of what had occurred the night she had been found in Bingley's bed. Looking once more to where Miss Lydia sat in whispered talks with Mrs Bennet, he could not shrug off a feeling of unease towards the older lady…

Elizabeth fidgeted a little uncomfortably having somehow found herself seated next to her mother where they sat playing cards and though she tried she could not fight the anger creeping over her. The silence between them deafening, she excused herself and made her swift exit while the rest of the party were distracted.

Once out of the drawing room she walked to the doors directly opposite and flung them open –

"Ouff!" A low grunt sounded as the door she had barged through connected with something….

With just the fireplace lit, her eyes struggled to quickly adjust before she took in the tall and imposing figure of Mr Darcy in front of her.

"Mr Darcy, forgive me I-I-" she gasped.

Suddenly confronted with a very angry looking Mr Darcy, her mouth went dry and she lost all sense and hastened to leave. Whirling around abruptly she lost her footing, tripping into the door and pushing it shut.

Darcy let out string of curses from behind her.

"Are you well?" he asked gruffly.

"I am fine. Are you harmed?" she said quietly, her back still to him.

He simply grunted irritably, serving to change her mood from embarrassed timidity to simmering anger.

Taking a deep breath, she turned and remembering her promise to Anne, tried to be all polite easiness.

"I did not see you."

"I had deduced as much," he growled.

"Well, it is not as if I did it on purpose!" she snapped.

His brows flew up mockingly.

"If that is your effort at an apology, I am not sure you understand what one is," he scoffed at her.

"Ha, why should I waste my breath on such a person as you, who would not know how to accept it!" she replied crossly, looking up as the warm glow highlighted his handsome features. Elizabeth had been about to continue on in the same vein when she was arrested by the look in his eye, a vulnerability she could not understand.

"Carries the weight of the world on his shoulders…" the words Anne had spoken earlier came into her mind. "Be patient with him…"

"I am sincerely sorry," she tried again.

"Yes, I heard you," he mumbled, raking a hand through his hair and retreated further into the room away from her.

"It appears we had the same idea." She said following him a few paces and smiling softly in the face of Mr Darcy's scorn.

Crossing his arms against the broad expanse of his chest, he said with impatiently, "It appears we did."

Elizabeth straightened and glared at him.

"How have you managed it?" she asked abruptly.

"Managed what?" he growled.

"You have convinced Anne that you are good and noble? When in reality you almost had me fooled too! But you are not. You are the most proud and disagreeable man I thought you were when I first made your acquaintance. Being around you is such a chore! What's more you are rude without apology and have no consideration to the feeling of others."

"And so, this is your final sketch of my character, is it?"

"Yes! Mr Darcy, you may have the wealth and dress the part of a gentleman, but you lack manners!" she said vehemently. "Your mercurial moods are quite tedious."

Elizabeth knew not what had provoked her to speak so viscously out of turn, but not a single person was behaving as they should be. Her world was spinning out of control and she was just about clinging on. Mr Darcy's reaction to her had been the most disheartening, he treated her with disdain, and she was ignorant as to why. What had made him change so suddenly from the man she had walked with in the snow? Anne was constantly trying to make Elizabeth like him, or form a kind of friendship with him, but his character was too changeable that she could not find her footing.

"If I lack manners, you madam, lack decorum!"

"I lack decorum?!" she exclaimed incredulously.

"You come down to dinner, dressed up and flaunting yourself, when your husband has not been gone a week and only hours after my wife, who you claim a close friendship with, almost died!" Darcy retaliated.

Elizabeth gasped, the light bouncing off of her silken locks as they trembled in her offence.

"I am sorry," he said stepping closer, "have I said something to offend you?" he mocked.

He noticed her flinch slightly, unable to say anything in return after she had torn apart his character so mercilessly moments before. Although, he could see her hands clenched into fists at her side as though she were itching to slap him, she resisted only arching a brow at him in challenge.

"Tell me do you take pleasure in provoking every one of your acquaintance's or is it just a particular desire of yours in regard to myself, madam?" he said unable to stop himself.

Tilting her chin stubbornly in the air, her warm brown eyes sparkling in the firelight fiercely she levelled him with a look. Instantly he felt the bile rise in his throat for treating her so abominably. He had just proven everything she had accused him. With a huff he allowed his hands to drop to his sides in a defeated gesture.

Not knowing what possessed her Elizabeth stepped forward and touched his arm tentatively. Upon the contact he did not look at her but at her delicate fingers where they rested on his forearm.

"I fear we have both spoken out of turn, Mr Darcy," she said kindly.

"I am so very sorry," he said placing a warm hand over hers.

Gasping from the contact she looked up at his stormy eyes now gazing down at her. Eyes wide her lips parted, she watched mesmerised as his eyes dropped to her lips.

"I am sorry for what I said, I have always been too quick to temper," she said quietly.

"I meant no word of what I said, you must believe me," he whispered.

"I believe you, Mr Darcy," Elizabeth whispered back.

Her eyes widened in astonishment as he lifted his hand and softly traced her bottom lip with his thumb. A blush and a heat crept up her neck as her heart began to beat wildly as though it were going to explode from her chest, she was sure he could feel it.

And then he was gone, retreating from her once more.

"Forgive me," he said curtly and turned away from her.

Elizabeth called out to him. If he had heard her, he did not let on, did not pause or falter in his steps and did not glance back in her direction as he opened the door and left.