*THIS STORY IS COPYRIGHT PROTECTED

Dear Readers: This novel does contain references to rape and abuse. I understand that these are sensitive topics, and I would not wish for any reader to suffer as a result of coming across these references without warning.

Be advised, this story is rated M

Please do leave a review and any thoughts you have; I adore them, and I am always excited when I see the notification in my inbox. xox.


Chapter 16

A short while later Anne had declared herself in need of rest and Mr Darcy had carried her up to their rooms. Elizabeth felt herself able to breathe again and relaxed into the conversation around her.

"Eliza… what is going on between you and Mr Darcy?" said Caroline abruptly in her ear.

Startled Elizabeth choked on her sip of tea and cast a nervous glance about the room.

"No one is paying us any attention, my dear," Caroline speaking in softer tones. "I know in our past I was not particularly kind nor was I welcoming towards you, but I want to assure you I have grown as a person and do not harbour such feelings as I once did. True, I once wished Mr Darcy to be my husband, but I confess it was not for the man Mr Darcy was but what he could give me… I am a shallow and vain creature and do not apologise for being so. I also do harbour some discomfort at the fact that I lost my pursuit of him to someone so sickly and ordinary looking, but you can trust me if you should need to." She finished searching Elizabeth's gaze sincerely.

"Caroline, you are very kind, and I am very grateful for our friendship. You cannot know how it feels to have such a formidable ally," Elizabeth said placing her hand over Caroline's hand.

"I could not agree more, but I did not miss your avoidance in answering my question. I am a woman of the world, Eliza," Caroline said pointedly. "How could I not be? I am five and twenty, and I am still unmarried and will most likely stay this way. I have known a gentleman and now have an understanding with the same gentleman. If it will make you easier, his name is Mr Mumford, and he is a solicitor. Not someone I would ever entertain marrying, but he is loyal, and I enjoy his company."

When the room grew quieter, Caroline suggested they take a turn about the room together. Linking arms, Elizabeth became awkward as she did not want or know how to have such a conversation. True Caroline had confessed a great deal to her to gain her trust. How could she admit to something that she was so unsure of, herself? It was not likely to ever become anything more… was it?

"It is all right that you are unsure how to answer, my girl. But both you and Darcy did your duty and have both ended up trapped in loveless marriages. I am well aware Mr Darcy's unhappy marriage is due to different reasons… you deserve to know what it feels like to have a young and virile man worship and adore you." Her new friend stated.

Elizabeth blushed crimson, "I am sorry to disappoint you Caro, but it is simply not true and what is more -,"

"Do not dismiss me. It pains me to be the one to say this to you, but should your husband come back to claim you, it is his right. None can challenge that." said Caroline as they stopped at the furthest point from the rest of the occupants in the room, looking out at the falling snow.

"You are wrong. I am Anne's companion. That is my protection." She said, her voice faltering slightly.

"Elizabeth, even a simpleton can see that Anne does not have long left. I do not mean to be harsh and frighten you. When she is gone you will have nothing. Jane and Charles can try to delay Mr Collins taking you back, but for how long?"

"And your solution is for me to commit adultery? Tell me how that will fix anything?" Elizabeth said, the scene blurring before her as she looked out the window unseeingly.

"I am sorry to upset you, but do not underestimate the power of a few stolen moments. Moment's that when you are unhappy will bring you a measure of peace. I have watched you both closely and see the undeniable attraction between you both. I have never seen anything like it. It is constantly a buzz around you. My sweet girl, I know our friendship is new, but I cannot bare to see a woman who admittedly was a thorn in my side at one point!" Caroline laughed before continuing, "But you were fierce, and I respected you however much we clashed in the past. Eliza, you deserve to be loved and know what it feels to have a man adore you… It does not mean you have to do anything you do not wish to do but enjoy a little flirtation at least."

"Why are you speaking of these things to me?" Elizabeth whispered in distress.

"Because I know what it is to be alone and unhappy, and if it were not for Mr Mumford, I would not have any light in the darkness. It is unbearable always being the single at any event; however, when he is there, our stolen glances and kisses are everything. They do not take the place of a husband or a child, but they make their absence tolerable." Caroline finished, her eyes showing a flash of her sadness before moving to look past Elizabeth pointedly out of the window.

Following her gaze, Elizabeth looked up to see Mr Darcy walking across the fields towards the woodland. He looked distressed as he paused a moment to look back to the house, before continuing on his way and disappearing into the trees.

"Whatever you need of me Elizabeth, you need only ask. I will from this point on be a constant in your life. Should you need refuge or use of our London home, you need only send word and I shall meet you there and assist in however you need. For now… mayhap you should use your reputation as a good walker, and go for a stroll, the woods at Netherfield are so beautiful in the snow…" Caroline said with a twinkle in her eye as she walked away.

Stupid Elizabeth! How did I expect to find him in here, it's too dense and if anything, he has probably already made his way back to the house by now! Elizabeth thought with a sigh as she trudged through the snow. Caroline is far too convincing for her own good!

Picking up a stick she began to swipe at some of the trees as she grumbled to herself.

"Why are you following him out here?" she huffed swiping at a few more low branches and moving deeper into the woods. "What do you imagine would happen?"

Then struck with a silly idea, she recalled her earlier conversation with Anne and her imaginings of children running about and pretending to fence one another with sticks…

"How hard can it be?" she said aloud to herself.

Shrugging she tried to plant her feet in the snow, wobbling a little her arms outstretched in an attempt to steady herself and regain her balance. Once steady, Elizabeth took her starting pose, her body sideways and arm with her wooden foil outstretched in front of her.

"En guarde!" she called and lunged forward hitting at the tree in front of her.

Laughing to herself she twirled and then ran jumped to hit a tree just out of her reach, only to scream in shock as a heavy weight of snow that had become dislodged rained down upon her heavily, a little of it falling under the neckline of her spencer.

The sound of footsteps and a man's laughter had her whirling around in fear, stick poised to defend herself.

"Elizabeth! It is just me." said Mr Darcy, holding his hands before him in surrender.

Breathing heavily a giggle escaped her and she lowered her stick.

"Forgive me, you startled me." she blushed.

"I did not know you fenced?" he said arching his brow, gesturing to the stick.

"Oh, well, no, I was just being silly. Pray forget what you saw."

"I would say your form was sure enough, with some guidance and even ground, you will master the basics quick enough."

"Do you mock me, sir?"

He startled and raised his brows affronted, before his face settled into a frown and taking a step towards her.

"You forget your position, Mr Darcy."

"And what position would that be," he said stepping closer.

Elizabeth raised her stick, aiming at Darcy once more, "I currently hold the advantage. You are unarmed." She said, though her arm shook.

Mr Darcy noticed her tremble and moved closer still. This angered Elizabeth.

"Why do you still move forward when I could attack you?" she said, a little nervously.

Elizabeth did not feel fear, but she did feel uneasy. Afterall he was a tall, powerful man. His strength obvious in the way he walked and carried himself, if he desired too, he could easily overpower her.

As if reading her mind, he said, "Because men are arrogant. True you could strike me once, perhaps twice, but it would not be much of a defence should I wish to disarm and subdue you. I am built to be stronger, my natural instincts as a man are to be a hunter and a provider."

Elizabeth gasped and tried to swipe at him, he caught the stick with ease and tugged it free from her grasp. She stumbled backwards, momentarily losing her footing as her eyes darted about looking for an escape.

"I am not going to hurt you. Do not ever let your opponent see your fear. Again." He said passing the stick back to her and stepping backwards.

"What?" she asked incredulously.

"I want you to try again."

"What is the point of this exercise if you say I will never have the hope of overpowering a man." She snapped.

"Ah, but that is because woman is not taught how to defend themselves. Use that to your advantage." He instructed.

"And what advantage does a woman have against a man's predatorial instincts?" she countered tersely.

"Think on it. Do not be defeated so easily," he said watching her ire rise, "I am not being unkind, but practical. You will not receive kindness or sympathy from an attacker."

Her eyes flashed as they locked with his icy stare.

What is he playing at? How much did he know?

"What is the point you are trying to make?"

"My point is that no man will ever expect a woman capable of overpowering him. Use our arrogance against us."

Without preamble she lunged again, he caught the blow easily taking the stick from her and twisting her so that her back was pressed against his front and her arms crossed in front of her. Instantly panic overwhelmed her and she struggled to breath as her blood roared in her ears.

"Do not panic. Think. What could you do next?" she distantly heard Mr Darcy say. "Breath and think…"

"I cannot."

"Yes, you can."

She began to struggle but it was useless he was not even exerting much strength to keep her his prisoner.

"Think of a man's weakest points; his neck and his stomach will catch him unawares. But the most affective of all is-"

"Please, let me go!" she demanded and almost fell when he released her without hesitation.

Elizabeth turned sharply to face him, her chest heaving. He looked back at her unapologetically and shrugged expectantly.

"Why? What is it that you want?"

"I was trying to help," he replied softly.

"No, you were trying to frighten me! Everybody seems intent on that purpose of late!" she riled.

He scoffed, "You were not frightened!"

"How would you know? You do not live my life, nor walk in my shoes!"

"Stop being a victim," he said seriously.

Elizabeth snapped and moved to slap him, but he caught her wrist before it connected with his cheek.

"There she is!" He said his face inches from hers, "Now, if you are to hit a man, you should know where it is best to aim and how to throw a proper punch. A man may be stronger, but women are lighter on their feet making them faster."

Then taking her hand within his, he curled her fingers into her palm and created a fist. She closed her palm and started a little when he chuckled.

"Keep your thumb out, pull it in tight against your fingers, you will break it if it is enclosed within them. Yes, just like that…" he said his words trailing off as their gazes connected. His thumb stroking her closed fist distractedly, as his gaze softened, caused a shiver of awareness to run through her.

Unaware of what she was doing Elizabeth so lost in his stormy gaze, leaned up onto the tips of her toes and watched as he painfully slowly leaned into her, giving her every opportunity to stop him. When his lips finally met hers in softest of whispers, Elizabeth's eyes fluttered closed, and a soft sigh escaped her. He pulled back in disbelief looking down at her, waiting as she slowly opened her eyes, slightly dazed.

Her lips parted in invitation and he brought his thumb up to trace her plump lower lip, and leaning in once more, he kissed her anew, with less hesitation and more confidence, before pulling away and searching her eyes so that he was certain that she welcomed his attentions. He kissed her once more keeping his eyes open as his lips applied a gently pressure on her and soon the kiss melted into a more passionate embrace that stole all rational thought.

His mouth met hers again and again and soon all her thoughts fluttered away, everything irrelevant but the sensations she was suddenly experiencing. His lips began sliding across hers, jolting her like a bolt of lightning. She stiffened then turned into a rag doll, entirely boneless and at his mercy.

So, this was a real kiss.

Because her lips were already parted it was little effort for Darcy to open them further and press his tongue forward enquiringly. She made a noise of shock but before he could pull his head away, Elizabeth brought her fingers trailing up his arms and to rest on his shoulders. He stopped fighting in that moment and just gave himself over to the feeling of having Elizabeth in his arms. Bringing his free hand up to grasp the back of her neck and keep her head in place. Tasting and caressing her softly.

It was a little awkward and shockingly apparent that she had little or no experience in kissing. He nearly broke the kiss to ask her if she had been kissed before and to try to read how she was feeling, but then, daringly she tried to kiss him back. It was clumsily done as she shakily tried to follow his example, he instantly understood her intention and slowed his caress, dropping his hands from her and allowed her to take control of the kiss. Once again, his ardour flamed and he could not resist claiming back the control, only to relinquish it again. Pulling back slightly to catch their breath, Darcy gave into temptation and with his passion coursing through him began to trail kisses along her jaw and to sensitive spot behind her ear.

Her body began to tremble with shivers as her nerves began to pulse and flutter within her.

His hot gaze seemed to burn into her skin, and Elizabeth felt herself pinken with embarrassment.

"You are so very lovely, Elizabeth. You are not like other ladies," He said with small tilt of his head.

"Does that disappoint you?"

"Not, in the least." He murmured and then kissed her, his hot gaze almost black with his desire, and she felt herself pinken in her embarrassment at being looked at with such appeal until he distracted her in capturing her mouth once again.

His lips and cheeks were cold, the tip of his nose pressed against her cheek warm from the flush heating them. If her head were not spinning with the headiness of their kiss she would have giggled and teased him. Nothing had ever felt so right. His hand now resting on her waist with a gentle pressure which did not frighten her, it only served to make her feel stronger and safe. She did not want this feeling to end, this moment and this man would be burned into her memory for all eternity.

Elizabeth gasped as her back connected with the tree behind her, she had not even been cognizant that she had been moving, eyes open she broke the kiss in search of air as Darcy took a few steps back, watching her with vivid interest as, like her, he sought to catch his breath.

She instantly felt the loss of his touch and his closeness.

"Forgive me, I have the greatest affection for you. I was... I got carried away... My behaviour is inexcusable-,"

"Don't," Elizabeth cut in, "Do not apologized for what we have just shared, I beg you!"

"Elizabeth, I -,"

"Stop! This is not something to apologize for." She could not bear it if he told her he regretted the moment. It was the sweetest thing she had ever experienced and knew she would cherish it always. She could not have it tarnished.

"Why?" he asked tentatively.

The question took her by surprise, and she searched a long moment for the proper answer.

"I-I-..."

"I have shocked you and behaved like a brute. It is no excuse, but I could not help myself." He said ashamed.

"Please," she begged, hardly capable of speaking, "Allow me this stolen moment. Allow me to pretend that we have done nothing wrong."

He could not find the right words to say. He desperately wanted to comfort her and tell her of how he truly felt about. How he she had captured him wholly from the teasing mirth in her fine eyes. How he wished he had never allowed his arrogance and the expectations of others to overrule his heart. But in the same breath he would never regret nor deny the freedom and better quality of life his marriage had given Anne.

She walked towards him then, and with all the courage she owned, Elizabeth reached up on her toes and kissed him tenderly upon his cheek and fled.

He did not respond immediately. His surprise evident that he had been in ignorance of her feelings for him.

"Elizabeth!" Mr Darcy called after her, but she did not stop. She kept running until she reached her bedchamber and locked herself within.

Leaning against the door, she pressed her hands to her lips in wonder...

How will I ever be the same again?