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Chapter 20
Christmas Day part one…
That evening Elizabeth sat at her vanity, dressed in the plum dress she had planned to wear that morning… the deep plum colour brought a vibrant hue to her skin and her hair took on a richer deeper brown. Shem paired this with the silk slippers Caroline had gifted her and a pair of Jane's satin gloves. They had been instructed by Caroline that they were all to dress with extravagance!
So much had happened since then; they had almost been spied by Mr Hurst holding hands beneath the table, but Caroline had distracted him.
Thank you, Caroline!
The luncheon had been great fun. She had spent most of the time with Jane, Lydia and Charlie. He was a firm favourite and there were a few other toddlers he was able to play with. Lydia had turned up uninvited, much to Jane's dismay and had been overbearing the entire time. On a happier note, Kitty and Mary had joined them. It seemed that Mary was much changed from how Elizabeth had recalled. Gone was Fordyce's Sermons to be replaced with pretty ribbons although her awkwardness had not been completely dispelled. If she didn't know better, Mary had taken a liking to Charlotte's brother Edward. After speaking with Edward and asking after her childhood friend she was pleased to find that Charlotte had married and was in confinement and so could not journey to Hertfordshire for the festivities. She secured her new address and would write to her as soon as she had a moment to herself.
Kitty had spent the day with Elizabeth and though she did not voice it, a great sadness within her could be felt. She seemed always on the verge of tears in moments of quiet and looked at Elizabeth as if awed that she was there. Anne had ventured down to sit with them, and Kitty clung on to her every word!
They had also spent part of the afternoon with the young girls, building wreaths and making winter foliage arrangements, when she had spied some holly adorned with berried. Most of the holly, was bare and only made up of the prickly leaves, she could see further back a few with jewel red berries, but her arms were not long enough.
"Which one has caught your eye?" a deep voice had asked. A voice that she now recognized by heart.
Knowing it was William before she had turned, she remembered feeling grateful that he had taken care not to startle her and had maintained a distance so as not to crowd her.
"I would like that one at the back, please." she had replied, smiling at him admiringly.
Elizabeth watched transfixed he leaned over without difficulty and pulled forward the fullest branch. Mr Darcy's height certainly gave him the advantage in this particular task. His movements graceful in the extension of his arm and his large hand nimble and strong as he plucked the desired foliage.
Reaching back, he gestured for the knife in her hand and cut the ones she singled out. He had become distracted, pulling a branch she could not see and cutting free another sprig of holly.
"This one is for you, it matches the colour of your lips," he had said as he placed the holly on her bonnet.
Looking at it now as it lay beside her hairbrush, the berries were not fully ripe yet, still a pale pink in colour.
The sound of a man whistling out in the hallway shattered the pleasant memories she had been indulging in, replaced instantly with fear. Mr Collins had always whistled whenever he was in a mind to toy with or punish her. Elizabeth brought her hand to her throat as she was assaulted by the volent memories of her past. The image of her husband above her was suffocating. Glancing around desperate for distraction her gaze fell once more on the piece of holly Mr Darcy had picked for her.
"William," she whispered, unconsciously caressing her lips with her fingers.
When her breathing had settled and calm had settled over her once more, Elizabeth knew she was being foolish and had Mr Collins returned he would not be whistling through the halls of Netherfield. "Enough!" she said with strength to her reflection.
I will not be frightened any longer! she vowed.
Standing, she checked her appearance once more, twisting this way and that. This evening she wanted to be perfect for her waltz with William.
Elizabeth found herself seated that evening at the dinner table, beside Kitty and Mary, opposite Anne and Mr Darcy. Both sisters had been glued to her side throughout most of the day and it felt good to be a part of a sisterhood again with the exception of Lydia. Who was currently arguing loudly with their mother regarding the seating arrangements? Her younger sister wore a far too revealing gown in scarlet red. Huffing and crossing her arms in front of her chest, Lydia was practically spilling out of the bust of her dress due to the severity of its cut.
"Why have I been banished to the end of the table away from anyone interesting? Am I being punished? If anyone should be punished, it is not I. Mama -"
"Hush, Lydia. Have a care not to spoil a day that has been filled with such gaiety and frivolity, as it should be during the holidays." Said Jane in passing, as she moved to take her seat beside her husband at the head of the table.
"You do not hold any power over me, sister of mine!" snapped Lydia, taking a sizeable gulp of her wine.
Before any further words could be exchanged, Mr Bingley stood and raised his glass to signal a toast.
"On this Christmas Day…" He began, "It is my hope that we can all find room in our lives for the message of what this day is truly about. It is about coming together with family and friends to celebrate in remembrance of the birth of Christ. Who taught us that through hardships and adversity we can find strength within our families and even build new friendships? It is in crisis that we discover that we may break down barriers, learn to improve ourselves and help our neighbours. It is through this commemoration that in the face of conflict we may find hope for a better tomorrow. Finding hope in adversity is one of the main themes of Christmas. Our Lord Jesus Christ was born into a world of fear and danger, to be our saviour who taught us many things, such as the power of forgiveness. It is in forgiveness, understanding and acceptance that we can heal broken families, restore friendships and feel God's love."
From the opposite end of the table a loud snickering could be heard from Lydia. Mr Bingley ignored her continued on a little louder.
"This Christmas let us all raise our glasses in the wish that we all, my dearest family live in good health and prosperity in our endeavours for the coming year. With the love of God and through Christ our Lord, I wish you all a very happy Christmas!" Finished Mr Bingley, clinking his glass meaningfully against Jane's, who blushed prettily at her husband's moving words.
"Oh lord!" drawled Lydia sarcastically as everyone else chorused, "Happy Christmas!" taking a sip of their drinks.
The footmen opened the door to allow more footmen to enter to serve the first course. The aroma of freshly baked bread and leeks filled the air and Elizabeth mouth watered with delight when she had a bowl of potato and leek soup topped with roasted chestnuts, served with warm rolls and salted butter was served.
The rest of the courses were just as delicious as the first course. The second was a large roasted turkey, that was unveiled at the centre of the table. Bingley did the honours of carving a portion for each person at the table. roasted pheasant with pears and a red wine sauce. Elizabeth immensely enjoyed hearing her sister Kitty talk to her of her interests in travelling and found she had a unique point of view now she was not overshadowed by Lydia's brash, unchecked behaviours. Mary it seemed had not quite shaken all of her pious attitudes, but they were less of a chore to listen too, when hearing them on Christmas day and not as often as she had once been subjected to them.
"Do not fret Lizzy, it must be Mr Bingley's speech that has aroused in her the urge to speak so," assured Kitty with a small giggle.
"I have missed you Kitty," she said tucking an errand curl behind Kitty's ear.
"I have missed you terribly, Lizzy. Both Mary and I have!"
"We have dearest Lizzy; home has not felt like home with your absence." Confessed Mary.
"I have missed you too, Mary. I have missed out practicing together on the piano, as we would do on Tuesday and Thursday mornings. And Kitty, I miss our walks to visit the Lucas's. We would always pick the longest route possible, when Mama's nerves were particularly trying."
"Whilst you are here perhaps, we could practice a new piece of music together?" Asked Mary.
"And we can go for a walk together?" Asked Kitty not wanting to be left out.
"I should be disappointed if we didn't, sisters." Elizabeth assured them.
"It pleases us to know you are now going to be Mrs Darcy's companion. I am sure they will not keep you from us, like Mr Collins does."
"Kitty!" admonished Mary.
"Do not act so shocked. You agreed the same thing last night," Kitty replied archly.
"Still…" trailed off Mary.
"Do not fear what I might say. I implore you both to always be honest with me. I am your older sister, and I would not have you censor yourselves around me. Just try to be aware of the company we are in." Elizabeth said, striving to be stern.
Her sisters became distracted, and the conversation continued around her while she became lost in her thoughts. Looking up and across the table, she looked to the couple in question. Anne seemed a little pale but in good spirits. Her cough seemed to rattle in her chest a little more than she had noticed before, but then she reasoned that she could not have managed sitting at the table with them all had she not been regaining her strength. Mr Darcy was teasing her a little and trying to make her eat more of her food, which looked almost untouched.
As she sat observing it was apparent that they did not behave like a married couple, every gesture seemed to be more of a sisterly and brotherly affection. She had witnessed them in their privacy, and they had shared no more intimacy than what she would have shown once to her father or an uncle.
Distracted by gasps Elizabeth found her attention captured by the final course coming in carried by not one but two footmen. It was a hefty and decadent tiered fruit cake, decorated with bows of holly. It was made up of five tiers and topped with a flaming Christmas pudding adorning the highest tier. A few more footmen entered carrying the accompaniments of churned cream spiked with brandy and fresh fruits.
As it was a special day in celebration of family they did not adhere to the separation of the sexes and instead decided to go out of doors onto the terrace and enjoy some mulled and richly spiced wine as they sat under furs and blankets. Even Lydia had forgotten her dudgeon and had joined them in singing Christmas carols.
Eventually the chill got to them and they retreated into the main drawing room where a fire was ablaze. Anne bid them all goodnight and Mr Darcy assisted her upstairs but promised to come back down and join them.
Though she was loathed to admit it, Elizabeth kept head ears trained for the sound of Mr Darcy's foots steps or his smooth tones that would herald his return. When he did eventually come and join them, he went directly to sit next to Elizabeth who was sitting beside Lydia.
"Well, you are looking very well, Lizzy." Lydia spoke eyeing her up and down.
"Thank you, Lydia." Elizabeth replied, disconcerted by her sister's compliment.
"Although, you have become boring in marriage. Dull just like your husband," she said with a shrug.
"I see that you still like to give barbed comments. I thought you would have grown out of that with age," Elizabeth replied dismissively.
Lydia made a show of mocking Elizabeth, by pulling a face and parroting her words. Then fell back crossing her arms over her chest as she looked to throw daggers in Jane and Bingley's direction.
Sensing Mr Darcy's upon her, Elizabeth turned to him suddenly she stifled a giggle as he straightened and looked at her with an expression of shock and wariness.
"Mr Darcy, I have just realised I know very little about you."
"I am not all that interesting, I assure you." he replied dryly.
"I find everything about you interesting William," she said softly.
"Well, what do you wish to know?" he asked a little awkwardly.
She smiled tapping her index finger on her chin in exaggerated thought.
"I should like to hear more of your life before you became the master of Pemberley and all that entails. I am curious about your childhood. You have a younger sister, but as I understand it, she is quite a bit younger than you?"
He nodded without wording a response, assuming this was not the question she wished to ask him in its entirety, and so, Elizabeth continued.
"I suppose, my question is, who did you play with when you were little and what mischief did you find yourselves in?" she said curiously.
"How little are we to discuss. I should like to keep some of my dignity and perhaps not tell you about any embarrassing tales from my infancy." He said chuckling. "As to who I played with in my youth, I believe it will shock you to know that Mr Wickham –"
He paused when Lydia who was sitting beside Elizabeth, dropped her drink and grown pale.
"Excuse me, I will just step out for some air…" Lydia mumbled already walking away.
Elizabeth watched in confusion as Jane and Mrs Bennet followed her. Relaxing she looked back to Mr Darcy, knowing Jane would retrieve her if she was needed.
"Mr Darcy?" she said to gain his attention. He was still watching the door where Lydia has disappeared moments ago.
"Forgive me, I was wool gathering. As I was saying, Mr Wickham was not a very good childhood friend of mine. I know he likes to tell his own version of events…" he stated.
"Yes, he does. He says that you were almost as close as brothers and that your father, was his godfather." Supplied Elizabeth.
"He was my father's godson, but all that nonsense about being denied his inheritance is nonsense. He is a skilled deceiver. He allows a certain amount of truth into his stories, before he embellishes on them. But, alas, I have become distracted. My closest friend was my cousin Richard Fitzwilliam. You may have met him; he is Colonel Fitzwilliam now."
"No, I have not had that pleasure, though I have heard of him from Lady Catherine."
He chuckled deeply, "I am sorry to say she is not very fond of my cousin. For some reason he seemed to always be at fault over our antics in our youths."
"Yes, she called him a bad influence and quite wild." She said humorously.
He rolled his eyes, his lips quirking slightly at the corners. "I believe I quite enjoyed not disabusing her as to who the bad influence was on numerous occasions."
"So, will you tell me what your wild antics were?" She pushed.
"They were not so bad," he said trying to hide his smile. "The trouble is that we were - are both incredibly competitive, which meant that we were always getting into scraps! If I bested him at boxing, he would pick a fight to best me at rough housing. If he bested me at fencing, I would triumph over him in sword fighting, it goes on. That was not the part that Lady Catherine should have worried over."
"No? It sounds very unpleasant and worrying to me!"
"No, that is normal boys' behaviour. It became worse as we grew out of our boyhood, we introduced forfeits. A penalty for the loser," he shivered.
"And?" Elizabeth asked impatiently.
"I do not believe it suitable discussion with a lady." He replied.
"Oh please! That is such an easy way of sparing yourself any embarrassment."
Pausing a short moment, he looked at her sideways...
"Very well, I shall tell you one of the tamer stories and though you would not believe me, the unsuitable ones were all Richard's doing and not mine," he winked. "We did small things, such as adding stronger liquor to the lemonade at debutants balls, put worms in Lady Catherine's bed when we were younger. But we would always know when we had gone too far, because that is when my father would step in and give us a good thrashing." He said with a pointed look.
"Stop hedging please. I wish to know the things that got you in trouble with your father, although I confess, I would have loved to have seen Lady Catherine's face when she discovered the worms in her bed!" Elizabeth stated completely enthralled.
"There is one I am prepared to tell you. I look very much like my father and there was one incident where Richard and I had decided we wanted to throw a secret party. We had founded a club of devout bachelor's when I had first joined Cambridge and Richard was in his final year there. We had decided it would be funny and dangerous to hold this party at Rosing's right under Uncle de Bourgh's nose. To cut to the good part, one of our friends had over indulged and decided he needed to have a nap in order to regroup and wondered off, only to end up in bad with Lord de Bourgh himself!"
"He didn't!" Gasped Elizabeth.
"Yes, and his lordship is no small man! He was very tall, with a sizeable belly and apparently Finn had curled himself into him holding him about his waist." He shook his head chuckling at the memory.
"What happened next?"
"I am not exaggerating when I tell you the entire house shook with his rage. Poor Finn was thrown from the window breaking both his leg and his pride. I have no shame in telling you that I ran. We all did! Richard and I and two others escaped the footmen."
"And how did you manage your escape?" She giggled breathlessly.
"The other two that got away sprinted into the darkness and found their way to the nearest inn. But my cousin and I had the cunning idea to flee to the rooms we would normally occupy and change ourselves to look as though we had been disturbed from sleep. Richard somehow managed to convince them that our visit had been planned and they were the ones left mortified, though I cannot understand how they believed us and did not connect the dots. Our friends had held up well under interrogation and said they had wanted to play a joke on Richard and I. We had felt such triumph until my father arrived and saw right through our deception. He made us clear the mess made in women's gowns and ribbons in our hair. My father even made sketches of our appearance which have fortuitously become lost in the years since his passing. Although, I do believe Richard quite enjoyed the yellow frock he wore. He twirled and sang as he swept the floors."
At that, Elizabeth let go and began to laugh outright. Clutching at her sides as she fought for composure. Thankfully, her outburst was not out of place in their current setting. Everyone was merrily chatting loudly and exchanging stories of their own Christmas traditions.
Mr Darcy sat mesmerised looking at Elizabeth. Her laughter the most beautiful music to her ears, he could not help but laugh along, the sound infectious. He could not believe all those years he had wasted apart from her, living without the joy of making her laugh freely swelling within his breast, pumping his blood through his veins in his elation. His life felt utterly changed these weeks and it felt richer, colours seemed bolder and the tase of food heightened.
"I have not laughed so much in quite some time. Thank you for such a diverting conversation, sir." Elizabeth spoke, after her laughter dissipated.
"I am happy to be of service, if it produces such liveliness in your spirit." He replied softly.
"If you will excuse me a moment. I look forward to continuing our conversation." She said excusing herself for the retiring room.
"Now, I believe it is time for our entertainment. Do not tarry Eliza, we shall begin the dancing soon!" called Caroline as she quit the room.
On her way to the retiring room, Elizabeth became distracted by hushed voices drifting from the room she was passing. The door had been left ajar, but she could not see who was within.
"But mama, you must speak with Jane!" Demanded Lydia's easily identifiable petulant voice.
"Enough! You will undo all our work if you are not more careful."
"I do not care a whit for them. I want to see my Charlie, he is mine not hers!" Lydia spat.
"Stop making a scene with such hysterics! It is not as if you are never granted time with him, is it Lydia, my sweet girl." Came her mother's return.
"Yes, but it is always and their convenience" whined Lydia.
"Yes. But that is because we are at their mercy!" said Mrs Bennet placatingly.
"Yes Mama, I know!" snapped Lydia.
"Do not take that tone with me young lady. After everything that I have done for you!" Said Mrs Bennet testily.
"If Jane were not so frightfully jealous of me, I might take more offense and less amusement in her actions, but as it were, I get entirely bored with this whole situation!" sniffed Lydia her voice growing nearer.
Elizabeth froze preparing herself for a confrontation, but both ladies exited the room without looking to their surroundings and headed back towards the drawing room without noticing her.
Her head spun at what she had overheard and the possible meanings behind such proclamations. Such troubling thoughts had her following them before she realised what she was about, and she re-entered the fray to be pulled into position in a space that had been cleared for dancing. Mary had taken her seat behind the piano and was organising the music sheets before her. Looking about she spied her mother and Lydia speaking in animatedly to her father who in truth looked as though he was there physically, but his mind was elsewhere attributed by the vacantness of his gaze. A troubled look unwavering upon his weathered face. No doubt they were trying to badger him into having their way. They all knew if they went on enough and kept pestering him, he would allow them what they wanted in order to be left to his quiet and solitude.
"There you are," said Caroline as she manoeuvred Darcy before her.
Laughing, they watched the other couples arranging themselves in their first positions, and she was surprised to find Jane standing up with Mr Bingley.
Turning back, Mr Darcy was gazing intently at Elizabeth, he swallowed a little nervously it seemed, and she watched the action with fascination. Nervous would not be something she would ever have associated with William. In an effort to offer reassurance she smiled up at him brightly and watched as his frown relaxed and he released a weary breath. Taking her hand in his, as she placed her other upon his shoulder and he placed his arm beneath hers, bringing his hand to rest gently upon her waist.
"I have to admit, that I have never danced the waltz in company Mr Darcy, so you must forgive me if I miss a step." she confessed, a little self-consciously.
"Do not worry, I will not let you fall." he assured her, comfortingly.
As the first strains of the waltz began to play, their conversation ended, and he moved guiding her effortlessly through the movements of the waltz. A curl of hair had fallen across his forehead and she itched to brush it back from his face.
"You seem very deep in your thoughts, perhaps you are not so good at dancing should you need to count your steps so rigidly." she teased, looking up at him.
"Not at all," he said tightening his grip on her and twirling her faster around the room, until she could not hold back and laughed in delight.
Her skirts swishing around her when she felt his powerful thighs moving against hers, steering them gracefully. Closing her eyes and inhaling deeply, she almost forgot how to breathe, but the connection ended when a few movements later he corrected their proximity. For that sweet moment of being held by him so close, his warm scent worked as soothing balm to her frayed nerves, and she gave herself over to the dance. Mr Darcy took complete control of their movements she felt as though she were floating across the space.
