Poor Tanya had a lot of pain passing the kidney stones, but she did it by the next morning. She'd been angry and devastated when he'd sent her grandfather to deliver the divorce papers to a lawyer, but she'd still clung and wept when he'd left. She had no idea of his plan. If God had any mercy, it would work or he'd meet his Maker swiftly.

Her grandfather had looked shocked when he'd slipped him three tickets to board a boat leaving for America in two days, but he'd sworn that no matter what, he'd get Tanya on that boat. She and the babe were sound for now and two days would give her time to rest from the kidney stones. But time was running out fast. Staying in England was no longer an option for her. News of the divorce would spread within twenty-four hours. She could flee and no one would think anything of it. The gossip, his rumored madness being locked in the house of ruins, Tanya leaving, the divorce...no one would question why he'd kill himself.

He knocked on Brigands' door after dark.

A loud scrape like Brigands moved a barricade and opened the door. "Sir? Thank God. You won't open the door when I call. Are you alright?" Tears welled in the old man's eyes. "I heard she filed divorce papers. I tell you she doesn't understand. She loves you. Go to her and explain - "

Good. The news of the divorce had already spread - she needed that on her side. "Take these." He held out two tickets. "It's not safe here for you and Teresa anymore. Take whatever you can carry and be there the morning after tomorrow. Tanya and her grandparents are going to America." Then he gave Brigands a large coin purse. "It will at least hold you over until you can get on your feet."

"What?" The man's eyes widened in shock and Teresa came to the door. "What about you?"

A lump formed in his throat. If things didn't work, this would be the last time seeing Brigands. "Promise me that you'll look out for Tanya. Make sure she finds a good husband." His voice broke. He surprised himself as he jerked the old man close and hugged him tight. "You were always my father, always the one to carry me when I'd scrap my knee, always the one who had time to give me advice..." Tears threatened. "I never thanked you for leaving Father to come with me when he disowned me," he whispered.

Brigands held tight. "Even during the darkest nights, I didn't regret not leaving you. Come with us. We will convince Tanya that you're the good man she thought." He pulled back and held him by the shoulders. "The night is too dark for you to see right now, but she truly loves you. It's a love unlike any you've known. She will not turn you away if she understands you haven't done what they say. Go to her."

He brushed at his eyes and shook his head. "The destruction will reach across the sea if I go. I can't go with her, and I'm going down in flames. The only chance she has is to leave. Let people see you get on the boat. Make sure they know I'm not going with her so she's safe from scorn." Then he backed up. "Promise me that you'll take care of her."

"I promise, but don't go. We'll figure something out." Brigands followed out onto the front step, panic glinting in his eyes.

He shook his head and climbed on the black horses that blended into the night.

"My lord, I beg of you, don't make us abandon you."

Swallowing hard, he reined in the horse who pranced underfoot, sensing his own distress. "If you look after her, then you haven't abandoned me." He kicked the horse. "God save me," he whispered and rode into the night.


He wandered the house the next day. The library shelves from floor to ceiling, once full of hundreds and hundreds of leather books that Tanya loved so dearly, were now empty. Those books were now scattered around England bookstores in exchange for a small fortune that had bought everyone's boat tickets.

The echo of his boots clicking on the marble foyer floor brought back memories of Tanya's vivacious laugh ringing off the walls. Instead of the lovely scent of fresh flowers that she'd kept in the house, the stench of charred wood still filled the air. A Christmas tree was supposed to adorn the far corner and stretch up the sides of the stairwell, but this Christmas had come and gone without notice. He'd intended to have the house decorated when she woke up Christmas morning and see her face light up like a child's. She had never lost that child's wonder, his Tanya.

His hands shook. His hands never shook. If things went wrong tonight... He slammed the door on that thought and touched Tanya's precious book from her mother tucked inside his suit jacket. He'd sawed off the head of his cane with her loving inscription and kept it in his pocket. Those would bring comfort having a pieces of her close to hold as he died. Odd how as he faced death, it was Tanya whose memories surrounded. Not Anna's.

He made the final laborious journey up the stairs and to the washroom. Picking up scissors, he ran a hand through his hair in the wrong direction. Then he took the scissors to his hair and hacked.


Night fell. Night had become the most dangerous time. The darkest time. Night was when the wolves came out for blood.

He sat on the edge of the bed. It was safer on the second floor, away from rocks smashing through windows. At half past two, a house fire would go unnoticed for hours - long enough to burn everything. Rubbing his chin, he released a slow sigh. Two days' worth of beard stubble covered his jaw. A strange peace - or perhaps madness - settled. He sat and waited for the clock to strike one.

At quarter after two, a window downstairs smashed. Cheering. He peeked down below. A couple drunk men who had come every night to throw rocks sat on their horses in the drive. Every muscle tensed. Good. They were drunk enough to not ride straight. Witnesses would be even better.

With eerie calmness, he took the lantern. Burning the house from the middle-out would ensure everything was ash before any help arrived to stop the fire. Starting in the closet, he held one of his shirts to the flame. The flame lapped and took hold. From room to room, he started a fire in each closet and left the doors open so the flames could dance and multiply. It didn't take long for one hallway wing to roar with flames as Hell came to life.

He stopped in Tanya's doorway in the other wing. This room held too many memories. This one would be too painful to burn. So he closed the door and walked down the hall. The fire soon flickered into that hallway wing too, driving up the temperature in the house. Smoke began to obscure vision. Dragging a sleeve over his brow, he coughed from the smoke that began to roll through the air and headed for the stairs.

A loud crash downstairs. Laughter came from outside. Black smoke floated up the stairwell. "What the hell?" He ran around the corner and stopped at the landing, the thundering of his heart drowned out by the roar of the flames. Oh god. They hadn't thrown rocks in but fire. The downstairs was already consumed in flames. The stairwell had been the means of escape, but the blistering heat drove him back. He whirled. Fire came from every direction.

Oh Jesus. This wasn't what was supposed to happen. Everything was supposed to burn according to his layout and he'd escape through a window downstairs into the night. He was supposed to sneak onto the boat in disguise and go to America with Tanya while everyone thought him dead. They'd start over with new names with her grandparents and Brigands and his wife. It was supposed to be a chance to start over, to give Tanya a life without scorn and be the husband she deserved. He grabbed the cane handle out of his pocket, needing to feel her love, to hold onto her in these final moments.

The floor groaned as fire from below began to swallow it up. The smoke made it hard to breath and burned his eyes, making tears run down. Sweat dripped from heat so intense it hurt. "Nooooo!" The scream ripped out with terror and grief. He banged on the wall. By some miracle it might have weakened from the fire below and would give away to the outside. This wasn't what was supposed to happen. He wasn't supposed to truly leave her a widow.

Glass shattered downstairs as the fire lapped through the windows. The wood down the hall groaned and threatened to buckle. A massive crash exploded as the roof caved in down the hallway. The weight of it was too much and the floor gave away under his feet. "Nooooo! Tanyaaaaa!"