3. Selfish Love.

T: Am hoping the lack of reviews, so far, is due to the slow start rather than a dislike of the story…even if its not I'm going to continue going with this one as I like it even if no one else does!

Anyway to the story itself…warnings remain the same with the slightest extra sprinkling of Angst…blame Subaru not me! I own nothing here apart from the plot.

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He is heading back towards his apartment when a familiar voice enquires,

"Might you have a light I could borrow for a moment?"

He manages to stifle his initial impulse to whisper the others name and instead he replies,

"Of course."

The light of the lighter flame flickers again between then and he feels a sudden creeping sense of Deja-vu

"Thank you." The other remarks and then, a familiar smile crossing onto his lips he enquires, "What brings you out this way at such an hour?"

He considers all the possible replies to this question and then brushing a hand through his hair he replies,

"I fear that my muse would not let me sleep."

"Your muse?"

"I am an aspiring author and unfortunately inspiration chooses to strike me at the strangest of hours."

"Are you published yet?"

"Not yet, no, but I am hopeful that I will be one day."

"I am sure that something will come up."

"Thank you." He hands back the lighter and Subaru believes this will be it when the other enquires,

"Do you live somewhere nearby, or does your muse also like travelling?"

"I am in the Shinjuku high rises."

"Then would you care for a little company?"

"Yes, thank you…"

"Ah yes, of course, where are my manners? I am Sakurazuka Seishiro."

"Yuji Kimoru."

Seishiro continues to talk amiably to him as they walk and he finds that having a discussion with the other without subtext or mask, is a liberating thing and though he remains cautious always of showing the other who he truly is, he finds himself relaxing in his presence.

Eventually they reach the base of the high rises and, though he has no want to be again from the others side, he bids his farewell.

"A moment, Yuji-san."

He stops and suddenly Seishiro is all but an inch from him, his fingers brushing away the hair that has fallen before his eyes,

"You have the most fascinating eyes, Yuji-san, eyes like no others I have ever seen and yet, somehow…

"Somehow I can not shake the feeling that we have met before."

There is a distant want in his heart to expose his identity, a want that is being suppressed, for the moment, by the cold logic of the Sakurazukamori.

"It is simply a case of mistaken identity, Sakurazuka-san, for I am most certain that I have never met you before this day."

"Have you any plans for the morning?" Seishiro enquires after a moment.

"My agent wishes a word with me." He replies, the lie spilling from his tongue without thought or consideration.

"A word that will take about an hour?"

"Most likely."

"Then we can meet afterwards for a late breakfast."

"Where will I find you?"

"By the Sunshine 60."

He resists the odd temptation to reach for his right eye and instead smiles a slightly empty smile and replies,

"I will see you tomorrow then."

He is breathing heavily by the time he reaches his apartment and, despite his greatest attempt; he can not wipe the smile from his lips.

There is an envelope waiting for him on the threshold of the apartment and he has but to see the butterflies in the top corner to know whom it is from.

'Subaru.

I have taken the liberty of supplying you with two manuscripts for the novels Yuji-san has been writing and with an agent. As with the last favour this shall be added to the final cost, yet, unlike previously this is the last aid that I shall give you.

'For the payment you shall give can not stretch to afford anymore aid and you have now all that you should need to fulfil your wish.

'Please be cautious of making large changes in destiny, for you might find that in making such changes you have, unknowingly, changed the conclusion of the war.

Yuuko.'

The manuscripts wait, patiently, for him on the bed and though he had left the apartment locked he does not question their presence.

Both are thicker than he had believed they might be and bear, what to him seem to be, oblique titles.

Aware that he will have need to know these novels inside and out he opens the first and begins to read.

…………………………………………………………………………………

The ringing of the phone wakes him the next morning and, after a moment of disorientation, he rises out of bed and lifts the thing to his ear.

"Kimoru desu."

"Is this Yuji?" A soft, female voice enquires.

"Yes?"

"This is Mihara Yuri from Tenshi, Kimoru-san and I must say that I am glad that you've finally decided to completely break your hermitage. "

"It seemed the only way for me to make a true impact on the world."

"Something that I've been telling you for a while…but I didn't call just to tell you off for being overly shy, I also called to make sure that you are still okay for today."

"Today?"

"You agreed, in your last letter, to meet me on the 19th of March and that is today, is it not?"

"Indeed it is."

"Then I shall see you in 'Sakura' at nine just as we agreed."

"I promise."

It seemed too much of a coincidence that he had had a meeting with 'his' agent the very day he had claimed to and he could not help but wonder if Yuuko, or perhaps her beloved hitsuzen, had had a hand in this.

Sakura is an upmarket coffee house that was but a short walk from his apartment and that had a quiet tranquillity about it which was appealing.

He had been sat down but two minutes when a petit woman enquired,

"Are you Kimoru-san?"

"I am and you would be Mihara-san?"

"That is correct." She took the seat across from him and after taking a moment to order coffee for herself she remarked, "You really described yourself perfectly, Kimoru-san, right down to your eyes."

"An accuracy I hope carries over into my books, Mihara-san."

"Indeed it does, Kimoru-san." She takes a sip of her coffee and then informs him, "I have some good news, Kimoru-san."

"Really?"

"As I told you in my letter last month Arsie were tempted by 'The Cage', indeed so tempted that I sent 'Vampire Heart.'

"I received their response yesterday and I am overjoyed to be the first to offer my congratulations."

"I couldn't have done it without you, Mihara-san."

They remain talking for a great while, Mihara-san learning all that she could of her mysterious client and Subaru stretching and adapting the persona of Yuji until he was almost as that individual.

Eventually Mihara excuses herself and, after finishing his own coffee, he heads off towards the Sunshine 60.

……………………………………………………………………………..

Seishiro is waiting for him a little before the building, dressed, as always, in an immaculate black suit, the typical outfit noticeably devoid of one particular accessory.

He can not but wonder why Seishiro has chosen to expose his eyes not only to his scrutiny, but also to the scrutiny of all that surround him.

A curiosity that fades when Seishiro enquires,

"How was your 'talk' Kimoru-san?"

"I am to be a published author."

"Congratulations."

There is a moment of silence and then Seishiro enquires,

"Where would you like to go, Kimoru-san?"

He takes a moment to answer, his mind coming up with ideas and then striking them off either for the lack of suitability or because they have been destroyed.

Eventually only one location has the informality and the stability he desires and thus he decides upon it.

"I have yet to visit the zoo in Ueno, perhaps we could go there?"

"It sounds like a good suggestion."

The way Seishiro is around him seems all but parental when compared with the intensity that the other had fixated upon him in the past.

Sometimes he can see the hidden threat of Seishiro's power in his remaining eye and yet it is a distant thing hidden well beneath the mask of geniality and good natured kindness that Subaru recalls well.

"Will you let me read one?" Seishiro enquires eventually.

"I do not know if I should…my books are like little pieces of my soul and for you to read them…"

"A few million strangers will be doing that in a few months time."

"Yes, but they are not you."

Seishiro catches a-hold of his chin and suddenly his lips are pressing insistently against his own.

He knows he should consider the version of himself present in this time…knows he should stop this before it starts and yet…

He ahs been so long without warmth…so ling without companionship that he has no want but to be, for the moment, selfish.

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T: Hopefully that kiss will win you over! As usual a few notes and then I'll let you be!

I am aware that Subaru is being a little OOC in this first meeting, it is very deliberate. You see he is being Yuji here rather than Subaru and thus the OOC fades away!

I am assuming that as the twins went to Ueno for picnics in TB the park is but a little from Shinjuku…accept my apologies if I'm wrong on that regard.

Seishiro is also deliberately OOC here; this because some part of him knows that Yuji is, in fact, Subaru and is reacting accordingly. While on this subject Seishiro does not recognise Subaru because 1) the Sakurazukamori mark is no longer on the boy and 2) The Sakura is playing around with Subaru's appearance.

The true writer of 'Yuji's' novels will remain, I fear, a mystery. As to his being a hermit…what better excuse for his agent not seeing him for an entire year? For those curious Yuuko has been the one sending Yuji's agent his letters and was also the one to employ her in the first place. These are both things that have been taken into account and added to the price of Subaru's wish...and no; I don't know what it is yet!

R+R…I need to know that someone likes this fic!