Title: Glory
Author: Sey
Warnings:
You
And
Your
Obscene
Intentions
Type: Smut
Jibber Jabber: I have no songs that remind me of this fanfiction because I have dial up now and can't go off downloading anything and everything. So, yeah. :D Oh and I would like to thank absolutely everyone who comment and wanted me to actually finish this story, cause I am ABSOLUTLY horrible at finishing stories, so… seriously… its thanks to you guys this thing has an ending.
He finally had crept through the dark hallway and made it to a door. When he opened it a smell assaulted my nose. It was a clean smell; A cold smell. This room felt as if it wasn't used very often.
He set me down on the bed. I didn't know what to do. Was I supposed to lie down and spread my legs? Was I supposed to go to sleep? Was I supposed to read him a story? What the hell was I supposed to do? I looked up at him to try and get an answer from his expressions; Trying to find a reply in the glint in his eyes, the color of his cheeks. I saw his hand move towards me and I tensed up. It stopped in midair.
I closed my eyes and breathed a slow breath. I could feel my lungs pushing back against my heart, stretching each fiber. Before I could open my eyes back up I felt skin on my face. Was that a hand? I subconsciously leaned into it. I was so sleepy, so worn out. There were too many emotions running through me. My tiny little body can't hold all of them in. I felt like a machine that was given too many commands at once. I didn't know what to do, what to feel. I just stop and froze. His thumb was skimmed across my cheek. I sighed at the way our body's heat seemed to match one another's. It's coming back, the fuzzy feeling. I smiled; it pushed my cheek against his thumb.
My smile must have distracted him because his finger traveled from my cheek to my mouth. I breathed against his finger, not understanding its purpose was on my swollen red flesh. It pushed itself into the inside of my lip, to the darker crimsons. I licked at the tip of it and it seemed bitter and salty and hot. He was feeling the glossy skin that lay on the inside of my mouth just before my teeth, running his fingers along the silk lining. I wanted to swallow, but to do that would take too much brain power.
I wanted this to continue, but I was getting shot with electric pain up and down my spine. I took my eyes away from his hand and looked up at his face. Nothing. His eyes were dead locked gold, and were intent on boring holes into every inch of my exterior. I didn't like the edge of the bed. My ankles felt very vulnerable exposed to the vastness that lay under that bed. Pushing myself farther back, wrinkling the sheets along my way towards the middle, I gave a subconcious hint for him to follow, and he did. I let my eyes quickly jet from side to side without looking at his face. I couldn't help but smile. I hate my nervous smiles.
"Lay back." I did so a little more obediently than I would like to admit. He lay on his side with his elbow crooked and his hand hidden at the base of his neck somewhere for support. His free hand began to travel towards the side of my face. His middle finger was playing with the skin that lay behind my ear lobe. It cause a small vibration inside of me and I could feel it begin reverberate from my core. I shook sort of suddenly, it caused by lungs to contract and a tiny pant to escape. Yuki smirked. I would come to love that smirk, at the time it drove me mad. I had never seen it before that night. It was always a sneer or a mocking smile. But that smirk, the way his skin lightly folded at one side of his mouth. The way his breathed out an amused breath through his nose, that breath that danced along the skin on my arm. This was nice. I liked this.
I just stared at my arm where his breath had graced the tiny, invisible hairs that decorated it.
Yuki noticed my sudden loss of interest in his actions.
"Stop thinking." He plainly replied. Stop thinking? Stop thinking? How the hell was I supposed to stop thinking? I tried to think of the color black. Black always represented nothingness. Black always seemed to be blank. That didn't help though. I just continued to think about how black seemed to clear my mind.
But another thought passed through the darkness. I did not get to see Yuki face. I was too afraid to see what he looked like in his most vulnerable moment. My very first time, with my very first love, and my very first everything. I missed that one crucial thing. I tried to imagine what he looked like. Were his eyes open or closed? Was his teeth clenched or gently parted? Were his muscles contracting as roughly as mine did? I can barely remember the sound of strain in his voice.
He brushed his lips against the pulse in my neck. I could feel my adrenaline and endorphins follow his lips up and down my neck as if they were playing tag. I wanted to shy away from that., but I could feel his hand dance along my right side and that distracted me even more. As it made it's way down, it placed itself upon my hip bone. One of his fingers dancing alone along the inside of the curve it made. It slid down to the softest part of my thigh where he made continuous circles with four of his digits. This caused my stomach to tighten and my breath to become slightly more frantic. I tried to key in on the whisper of my pulse in my ears.
The four digits that were encircling my flesh on my thigh lifted up my right leg and placed it on the possessors shoulder. I could feel a bone pushing at my skin, right above the hollow pocket on the back of my knee. I looked up at him and winced slightly. When he noticed my obvious discomfort towards this situation he tried to move it over to the rounded part on his shoulder and rubbed the thigh of my angled leg. He lightly ran his nails along it's tender underside. The muscle just below the side of my hip contracted and I sucked the cold, stale air around me in through lightly parted teeth.
I got the urge again to touch him. I placed the tips of my middle fingers behind his ear lobes, mimicking what he had done to me earlier. I slid my hands slowly down his neck and began to finger his collar bone, scratching it as he did to my thigh. I was fascinated with it. The way the light illuminated it and the way that shadows gave it dept. All this exploring was mind racking. I felt almost lost, not knowing what I was supposed to do. I don't want to stop touching him because things will become awkward, or more awkward than they already seem to be. But if I keep doing this, and he doesn't like it, that will be even more humiliating.
I do think too much.
His breath became slower, deeper, as if he was pacing himself. His breath caught my eyes attention to the shadowed flesh on his chest. I nervously and apprehensively trailed my hands along it, and idly occupied myself with a tiny portion of pink flesh. I wondered if it feels as electrifying for him as it does for me. I wondered if it makes the sides of his neck tingle like it does mine. I wondered if he can feel my breath on his skin too. Is it as cold as his was against my intensely hot skin? My eyelashes were tickling the skin below my slightly knitted brows as my eyes danced around his body wondering these questions.
I really really think too much.
"Is it okay to…?" he asked as his hand barred my legs from moving. I felt a cold frisson start at the top of my arms and flush downwards. Why was he holding onto me so tightly? Did he think I was going to have another fit like before? Am I going to have another fit like before? Everything was so still. I could still feel the echoed tremors inside of me but I tried everything I could to subdue them, but the quietness of our surroundings seemed to make me notice them more and make them almost unbearable to manage. I could feel my lower jaw begin to shake, but I bit onto my lip before it had the power to resonate through my whole body.
I made some nonsense noise that sounded slightly encouraging. Yuki pulled my body further downwards so that he could be leaning over me more. He placed his left arm close to the right side of my head. I gripped onto his wrist for reassurance that if things became too much for me to handle I could just constrict it until there was no blood circulating through his arm and he would be forced to stop if he cherished that limb. I tried to breathe my last breaths of poised air. I readjusted my grip onto his wrist and looked up through my bangs with my lip still clamped firmly between my teeth and nodded only the slightest bit.
He swallowed stridently and filled his lung with air. I wish he wouldn't have done that. The wait was making me feel sick. The more time I had to sit here and watch him, the more time I had to change my mind. But I wasn't going to do that. I couldn't do that to him. Not after what I had just put him through only a few minutes ago. I needed this to be perfect. I needed this to be our first, true time.
I tried to pretend that what happened before really didn't. That it was only a dream. That the way things were going now, so smoothly and fluidly, were how they were supposed to go.
He entered me more slowly this time, knowing that it would be easier for both of us this way. Finally understanding that his senses wouldn't be butchered by my lack of usage and tension, and knowing that it would be easier for me to accept him if he took things a little slower than normally. His frivolous activities with hundreds of girls were an obvious disadvantage to me the first time. I kneaded at his wrist with my hand, clenching gently and letting go, clenching, and letting go. It felt implausibly fulfilling. I pulled my chest and shoulder upwards to breath, stretching my waist out in a relaxing motion, and filling my lungs to the brim with air. I couldn't stop swallowing. After a while it felt as if I was trying to swallow my tounge. This had to be the birth of a new nervous reaction.
He pushed upwards a little more to gauge me. I released a scattered gasp almost silently in amazement. I felt like my whole body was absorbing every feat to live.
He began to move as slowly as his body would allow him. I could feel his legs shaking slightly from the strain that he was applying to them. I wanted to tell him he could go faster if half of my brain would've connect from inside my skull to my groin and form actual words to make sentences, but I didn't see any use in saying too much right now since I knew that we were going to get there sooner or later. Why rush things? We have the rest of our lives now.
Who needs eating and sleeping when you can live off the high of hormones and endorphins? My hand had now let go of his wrist and was hazily scratching at his arm. My other hand was doing the exact same thing in time, but to the sheets. I would close my fist and grab a handful of fabric, I don't think my brain understood that you couldn't do that with flesh, not to say I didn't try.
He paused. "Are you okay?" He said in a more hurried tone than concerned. I nodded again. Staring at him and the rose tint that colored his pale face, and noticing how his lips stayed their light pink color instead of my rude red. Damn you words, out of all times to abandon me. You usually fumble out of my mouth so easily, but now you've all hidden away inside of me. Thinking, somewhat, of that, I remember what else was inside of me. It caused a minuscule implosion inside of me that made me tense up even more and whimper. I was beginning to get light headed from breathing in so much oxygen, and it didn't help me when Yuki began to go faster, his hips meeting with me everytime we connected together.
His new pace was causing my body to become mad. My fingernails were scratching and the sheets with the echo of a ripping sound. I rolled my head sideways and tried as best as I could to moan into the pillow, but my coordination was off balance as well and ended up being far too loud for the thin walled apartment.
I went back to biting my lip again trying to stop the constricting in my throat. It seemed that every time I breathed outward my breath held and carried some kind of tune and I couldn't stop it. Finally, giving up on drawing blood from my lip in order to save the neighbors moments of awkwardness, I let it go and began to dully, but roughly, chew on the inside of that very same bottom lip all the while my hands still trying frantically to find something to do during this whole ordeal.
I looked up at Yuki who was opening his eyes now and then. I guess he was snapping mental photographs of me and closing his eyes back and focusing on the stilled image of whatever frenzied moment I was in. The only words that were beginning to come out of hiding were probably the most beautiful that ever formed on my lips.
"Yuki…" I didn't understand why I was called out to him. I was calling out to him to go faster, to slow down, and to give me some of his sanity and composure so that I can make it through this onslaught of all my sensations. Maybe I was calling out for him so that I could find him through this haze. Maybe I was calling out to him so that he would get lost in his own haze, and it seemed to work.
His eyes opened back up and he made the most minute, deep noise in the back of his throat. That must be his way of calling back to me telling me he was still here. He was waiting to catch me when I plummet back towards uncertainty. I said his name again and this time the sound of my voice seemed to elicit something inside of me that told me to brace myself for whatever was to come.
My breath quickened so much that I was riding off of the oxygen buzz. I couldn't control how many times I was saying Yuki's name. I think I was trying to remind him of who he was because I was surely forgetting who I was at this moment in time. I also was able to form the word 'I'. I had almost made a sentence. Almost.
"Yuki I…" the sheets were all beginning to gather up in my hands.
"I..!" His pace was deafening and not helping my situation at all. I felt a tear leak out the side of my eye. I had to let some form of liquid out before I drowned internally.
"Yuki…" my echoes of remembrance were becoming pleas for my already fading sanity.
"Can't…!"
I inhaled sharply and I felt as if my lungs had exploded. I pulled my left shoulder blade up towards my head and clamped onto my bottom lip, but it was torn away in my moment of declaration. I felt all the words finally explode back into my body from the corners they had been hiding in. I felt the detonation of every tint wash away my grey haze. I felt the oxygen high become a mere nothing compared the blood that was circulating inside of me, flowing as quickly as possible through my constricted blood vessels. My toes were curling inward and the leg on Yuki's shoulder contracted to nothing but mere muscle.
I let out a few exasperated moans when Yuki was still moving inside of me. I couldn't do this any longer. I can't do this anymore. I held down against Yuki in a final attempt to save us both. It seemed to work as he wrenched forward and grabbed a hold of my ankle and tried his best to stifle his groan.
His black eyelashes shaded his closed eyes and left shadows below. I could see the blood splash into his face and his lips turn the lightest shade of rouge. His teeth were clenched with his bottom pressing against his top, making those little 'joints' where his jaws meet pop out again. This is it; the most vulnerable moment of this man. He trusts me enough to put down his guard and share the only moment of pure ecstasy that can ever be shared between two humans.
This is the beginning of us.
