Kimblee sits on a plastic chair, with an obvious belly pooch, a two year old on his knee, and a hysterically laughing Greed on one side.

Scar blinked, looking in the reflection of the window. He proceded to poke the teacup that was er... lodged into his shoulder. 'How'd that get there?' he wondered. He must have fallen asleep while playing with Mrs. Muffin- Er. A State Alchemist must have thrown it at him! Damn alchemists. They always had it out to get him and his teacups.

Greed, through the laughing, manages to say.

"Okay Kimblee, now explain ONE MORE TIME how you managed to get pregnant with ARCHER! Does he even have the equipment anymore?"

Kimblee sighs and shifts the little girl, who waves at Scar happily.

"YES he does. And I didn't sleep with him... I used his towel."

Greed grins.

"If that's how you think you get pregnant, I see why we were so surprised at Andoria."

Oh snap? What was that? Scar blinked, looking out of the corner of his eye to see... The man who took off his arm and a homonculis. At a clinic? The same clinic he visits ever Thursday for teacup-related illnesses. Ishballa had it out to get him, that was the only excuse.

Kimblee growls.

"It. Is. Not. Funny."

Greed laughs.

"Yes it is... the great Crimson alchemist, at a comunity clinic with his illegitimate toddler, pregnant by his brother, and getting pills for morning sickness... the only thing that could amke this funnier is... I guess if an Ishballian got to see you like this."

Scar's left eye twitched slightly. No, he would not laugh. Not even smile. NO! He had to stay uber-cool with his evil look... Uber-cool? "Is uber even a word?" he mused.

Kimblee looks over an twitches...

"You. have a... teacaup... in your... arm..."

Andoria waves.

"Hi! I'm Annie, my daddy is having another baby, and I'm gonna big a big sister!"

"You're pregnant." Scar replied calmly. He gave the child the evil glare-look of death, copywritten, of coarse. Children were evil things that could grow up to be state alchemists, that's why he hated them. With this logic he might as well have hated puppies and kitties too...

Which he did.

"You bet your dark ass I am!" kimblee yells. "And you knwo what, for all i know, YOU might be the father! How do i know what you were doing to my body on that roof!"

Greed cannot control his laughing, but picks up Andoria, just in case there's a brawl.

"remember, alchemist killer, don't hit a pregnant lady!" greed coos.

Scar blinked, once... twice... thrice. "I was throwing you off it..." His expression clearly stated 'What the hell?' He was sure wherever his brother was he was laughing his ass off.

Kimblee glares.

"So you say!"

Greed nods.

"Yup, you could have nailed him, he's really pretty, as long as he's unconcious so you can't hear the obnoxious voice, or see the creepy pee colored eyes."

"..." Scar's left eye was twitching violently. How dare they insult his little-girl exploding honor! "If there's one thing I don't do," he began, "it's rape annoying arm-exploding assholes."

Kimblee glares.

"It could be yours anyways... as I said, i get pregnant really easily... just ebing around you could ahve done it."

Andoria giggles.

"I thought it was Uncle Archer's baby?"

Scar would have fainted on the spot, if he wasn't force to be 'in character' by Ishballa. Instead, he gave an irritated sigh. Archer? The scary pale one that always look like he wanted something shiney? The child was a creation of pure evil.

Andoria smiles.

"can i have a hug? My aunt Lust likes hugs, but Greedy-papa says not to touch her or she'll give me herpes."

Scar cracked a smile, and quickly hid it with a scowl, then moved away from the child. Lust could give herpes to a tree, he knew that for sure. That poor, poor tree. In fact, he was sure she gave it to the Palmtree homonculus.

"Also, you have a pretty tattoo... my daddy has tattoos too. His make things go a'splode. Then Greedy-Papa laughs really hard and whacks Daddy in the head with a shovel and they go play checkers in their room... but how can you play checkers when you;re asleepin'?"

Kimblee rubs his head.

"Honey, shut up."

Scar blinked. 'How do you play checkers when you're aslee- WTF? EW.' Scar was sure that if his skin was light enough they would have seen him pale. His brother would always tell him he was playing checkers with his love when they were in his bedroom. 'EWEWEW.'

Kimblee glares.

"Its amazing I don't have a flock by now... Greed is freakin' insatible..."

Greed grins.

"But you deserve it."

Scar pushed the teacup pain in the back of his mind. "I doubt sins could bear children." he growled.

Kimblee growls.

"See that?"

He points at Andora.

"That's greed's seed, and my blood... and about the weirdest two year old ever seen..."

"..." Scar blinked. How weird could a two year old actually be?

Kimblee laughs.

"This child is as religious as any priest... and you better believe we didn't raise her that way!"

Andoria smiles sweetly.

"Sir... you have a cup in your arm."

Scar inwardly smiled. Somebody he could relate too? Of coarse, it mattered that she was a child. "I'm aware of that, child." he said in a gruff voice.

"It looks kinda uncomfortable..."

Andoria says, looking at it for a long time.

"How did you get it stuck there...?"

"Alchemy." he stated instantly. Boy, Scar just had to blame everything on alchemy. It was almost common knowledge that he thinks an alchemist stole the cookie from the cookie jar.

"Gee! And I thought tucker tried to fuse people with weird stuff... i think my greedy-knows alchemy and tried to fuse things with daddy, 'cause daddy's alaways saying ;get that damn thing out of me'"

Kimblee rubs his head.

"So THIS is why abortion is so popular..."

Greed laughs.

"She's a blessing, Kims. Enjoy her child-like innocence... and her ease of expression..."

Kimblee glares.

"And her extreme lack of tact?"

Scar would have burst out laughing if it weren't so wildy OOC. Instead, he allowed a small smirk. The child was innocent... kind of. He had a strange feeling that she knew what she was talking about.

Or it could just be the pain meds setting in.

Kimblee sighs.

"So..."

He shrugs.

"We're kinda stuck in close quarters, I'm gonna ignore everyone for awhile... my stomach hurts."

Greed grins for some reason.

Andoria hugs Scar's waist.

"My daddy has lots of really embarassing secrets!"

Twiiiiiiitch went Scar's left eye. His immediant instinks were to push her away and wash himself off with holy water, but he didn't move. The kid was surprisinglys strong...

She happily smiles up at him with a mouth full of pointy teeth.

"My Daddy has chihuahua doggies!"

Scar blinked. Holy shit, it was Satan. He put his index finger on the girl's forhead, and pushed her back a few feet.

Andoria's eyes go really wide.

"Why do you push me away? I thought you wanted to be friends!"

She starts wailing, causing one hell of a scene, and Greed looks up from the magazine he was drawing penises(on the women) in.

"Okay, what did you do to her?"

Panic rose in Scar's chest. "I... pushed her away?" he said in an asking tone

Greed's eye narrow.

"Why?"

Andoria continues to wail. Kimblee on the other hand continues to sleep in his chair.

"She's... your... spawn." Scar muttered, glaring at the sin.