Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to Numb3rs or any of the characters therein. I do not own the rights to Lady Marmalade: it was written by Bob Crew and Kenny Nolan- lyrics are all over the internet, so in the public domain. The version I use is from the Moulin Rouge movie, 2001; don't own the copyright for anything from there, either.

Author's note: Second part in a trilogy of dancing that involves Don- T rating, cause I don't go further than boxers and a t-shirt.Chapter 2 is the setup (not so much fun), Chapter 3 the denouement (hope we have a lot of fun); the two chapters together make a TwoShot- bang, bang.

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He turned it over and over in his hands. The package was a flat, brown-papered rectangle, reminding him of the way dirty magazines were often wrapped. No return address was written on the front, just his name and address in the center, a stamp of "Washington, D.C." in the corner. After shaking it a couple times, he tore it open and discovered a simple black DVD case, with the words "Training Video" drawn in white, glaring letters across the front.

Special Agent Don Eppes placed his mail on the coffee table in his living room, opening the DVD case while sitting down on his couch. The DVD itself had no writing on its face to indicate what had been recorded on it. Curious, he clicked on his television and put in the disc, pressing play and turning up the volume on the set. He sat back in his seat, languidly running his right hand through his hair.

What appeared on the screen made him smile. He realized he was watching the recording of the last birthday party he had attended for his ex-fiancé, Kim. It had been quite an unusual affair. First, it had taken place after hours at a small strip club; the owner had allowed them to use the place for the few hours it shut down daily. Second, the only guests had been Kim, her FBI fiancé, and five former prostitutes-turned-strippers. Last, Don himself had only a foggy memory of the party, as he had become wasted within the first hour, leaving him to speculate as to exactly how the party had ended. He knew that somehow he had woken up in bed with Kim- but, well, the time between his fifth (sixth, seventh) beer and then was just jagged pieces of memory.

As for the five strippers who had added the splash to the party, they were former informants for Kim. They had been working the streets at one time or another; during different investigations, Kim had worked with each one individually. The independent woman in her did not like to see the way these women were treated, nor did she like the risks they took. She was realistic, though, in her pursuits to help them change careers. So, she had introduced them-one at a time throughout several years- to another former informant, the owner of a local strip club. The girls- as Don referred to them- had each eagerly changed careers, what with no longer having to be touched by clients, the ability to take home all their pay, and, well, the health benefits helped, too. They were forever grateful to Kim.

For Kim's birthday that year, the strippers had thrown her a surprise party, the only other people in on it being Don and the club owner. The first hour had been gift opening and beer drinking- the former done happily by Kim, the latter done earnestly by Don. As he viewed how the evening progressed, Don easily understood the joke behind Kim writing "Training Video" on the DVD case. Toward the end of the party, Kim's five pals had tried to teach Don how to satisfy his girlfriend in a visually pleasing way. Don grinned; drunk as he was, he had not been a very good pupil.

Don stopped the DVD and ejected it from the player, placing it back into its case. Though seeing them together made a small piece of his heart melt, Don wanted to keep the recording as a reminder of the happiness he and Kim had once shared, and the effect she once had upon him: just being with Kim had made him relax and do things he never thought himself capable of doing. Smiling, he was about to put the case in with his other DVDs when he thought of something- or rather, someone:

Charlie.

His little brother was prone to go through his things, and Don did not want him to see the recording. He sat and debated what to do, because he knew Charlie was good at finding things- even those things he had no idea existed. Somehow, his little brother got his hands on everything Don tried to hide.

Which made Don think that maybe he better not hide the DVD in the apartment, but rather store it where he could keep it close at hand; in a place where he could keep his eyes on it whenever Charlie was about.

Grabbing his jacket, Don went to his SUV, the small, black case grasped in his hand; he leaned over and shoved the DVD under the front seat. While he started up his car, he thought to himself that he had made a good decision on where he had placed it. Charlie always worked on his equations when he rode with Don; his brother would never take the time to look around the truck.

Besides, when Charlie was in the truck, so was Don. He was confident that if his younger brother suddenly- out of the blue, for the first time- became curious about its contents, Don would be sitting there to take the case right out of his hands.

Overall, a very good plan, Agent Eppes, he thought.

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Several weeks passed, and Don was busy working with Charlie on a conference presentation; over three hundred Bureau agents were coming to the L.A. office to attend.

Don was excited.

It was an honor to have been asked to make a presentation. He was going to discuss tactical assault techniques, while Charlie supplemented his visuals with an explanation of how several algorithms could determine angles of inceptions in the planning stages of an assault.

Every agent was busy with one assignment or another having to do with the conference; the regional director would also be attending, and the L.A. office wanted everything- and everybody- to look professional and organized. Tension buzzed throughout the office the days leading up to the conference- and droned the actual day it was to be held. That Monday morning, there was not an agent within the confines of the city that did not know how important this conference was.

If anything went wrong, heads were going to roll.

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Of course, several things went wrong.

The first one that hit Don was the flat tire he received while driving himself and Charlie to the Bureau conference. He barely maintained control as he skidded to the side of the highway, the front end of his truck moderately smashing into the side barrier that curved along the road. After checking to make sure Charlie was okay- 'yeah, I'm still working here'- he got out to inspect the damage while a car pulled up behind him, a large man asking if they needed help. Throwing open the cover of his cell phone to call a tow truck, the agent mouthed 'no- thanks anyway' to the man, who got in his car and drove away. The tow truck was going to be an hour, so the two brothers were stuck on the side of the highway- and would be dangerously close to being late for their presentation.

Over an hour later, the tow truck still hadn't shown up. Don called the place several times, the impatience in the receptionist's voice getting nastier each time he asked 'how long?' She reminded him again that they only took cash, and for the first time it occurred to Don that he might not have enough. He had mistakenly played poker with his dad the previous night, trying to relax; the old man had practically wiped him out. Checking his wallet, Don had exactly enough money to pay the tow, with a three dollar excess for a tip. Well, he wouldn't be eating lunch for the rest of the week, but at least he could get the truck- and himself- dragged to the Bureau; it was a company car, and they would take care of the damage. Unfortunately, it would take several weeks- and mounds of paperwork- before he would be reimbursed for the towing expenses.

The tow truck finally did show up thirty minutes before Don was supposed to begin the first part of his presentation- a short film showing agents using the tactile assault techniques that he and Charlie were going to further discuss.

Damn! Damn! Damn!

Here, the second thing to go wrong hit Don- or rather, his truck-literally.

The tow truck driver had backed into the front of his SUV, causing more damage. Don decided he needed to supervise the young man, images of his truck disconnecting in the middle of traffic running through the agent's head. First, though, he called a cab for Charlie, explaining to them where they were on the highway, using the last exit they had passed as a reference point. Then, Don poked his head into the opened driver's side window-

"Hey, buddy."

Charlie looked up at Don. He had had no idea what was going on, his mind completely preoccupied with the numbers he was running in his head. Looking around, Charlie finally realized that they had hit the highway barrier, and a tow truck driver was attempting to back up to the front of Don's SUV- rather unsuccessfully, as he hit the front end again.

Don swore, yelling at the driver to wait till he could get there. The stubborn young man pulled forward. He leaned out his window and turned to look at the truck, the sound of him slowly backing up again grating on Don's ears. Just then, a yellow cab pulled up behind the truck. Seeing it out of the corner of his eyes, Don told Charlie-

"Look, I gotta stay here till this yahoo has my truck hooked up- can you take my film to the Bureau and play it for them while I do this? That way, they'll have watched it by the time I get there and our presentation won't be late?"

"No problem, Don," Charlie responded, gathering up the laptop, papers, and leather portfolio that surrounded him on the seat.

"Thanks, buddy, " Don replied, running to the door of the tow truck and yelling at its driver to wait. The driver ignored him, backing into the SUV once again.

Charlie dropped half his materials on the floor at the impact. Bending over to pick them up, he grabbed everything that his hand touched under the seat. Looking out the windshield, he saw Don arguing with the tow truck driver, who had pulled forward and seemed intent on backing up once again. Wasting no time, Charlie jumped out the driver's side door and headed to the cab. After telling the driver his destination, Charlie sat down in the back seat of the car, putting his papers in order and placing his brother's DVD in the holder of his laptop. He felt sorry for his brother; today was important, and he felt things could not possibly get worse for him.

He was wrong.

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The main conference room at the L.A. office of the Federal Bureau of Investigation was actually a large auditorium, containing 350 seats with connected foldable desktops, all tightly set into stadium-style rows. The seating area led down to a main floor set up with computer and video equipment that faced a large white screen, a long table running along the left-hand wall with seats for 'guests of honor'. There were only three people occupying these special seats, their seniority tiered like the auditorium: Assistant Director Merrick, Director Donaldson, and Regional Director Gray. As the first two tried their best to look busy- moving about files, whispering into the ears of underlings who rushed by- the last one tapped his fingers on the table slowly and purposefully.

Finally, Merrick turned to Gray apologetically.

"Special Agent Eppes is never late- there must be a problem. I assure you, the wait shouldn't be much longer."

Gray looked at his watch- 9:07- seven minutes late. He really didn't care if the agent was late or not- these conferences were boring as hell- but he wasn't about to tell the other two men that.

Instead, he threw them a perturbed look and tapped the table harder.

Clearing his throat hesitantly, Donaldson added-

"Really- Eppes is one of our most reliable men."

Tiring of their excuses, Gray sighed, stopped moving his fingers, and looked piercingly at the two men.

"Forget about it- you don't have to apologize for Eppes- I worked with him for a while in Albuquerque and happen to personally know he is probably the most responsible agent in the Bureau."

He did not add what he really thought-

and probably the most boring.

As he recalled, the guy never had any fun; he wouldn't even go drinking with the rest of the agents after work- well, maybe for one beer, but while the rest of the guys drank, Eppes would just sit there writing one damn report after another. If fate hadn't intervened and presented a family tragedy upon the younger agent, Gray assumed that his own current position would have been filled by Eppes.

I guess I should thank him for the small favor, he thought ruefully, though he felt the boring presentation he was about to suffer through probably made them even.

Gray was shaken from his thoughts when a thin young man suddenly bounced into the room. He noted the rumpled t-shirt, oversized suit jacket, and long curly hair that accented the newcomer's attire. Curious, Gray waited to be introduced.

Charlie came over to the table, recognizing Don's bosses- but not the third man sitting next to them. He set his materials at the table's edge, trying to balance them while he offered an explanation for his brother's absence.

"Sorry we're late- Don blew a tire on the way here- tow truck driver didn't know what he was doing, so he stayed- I came. He'll be here before the first third of our presentation is over."

The unknown party at the table offered his hand to Charlie, who shook it gently.

"I'm Regional Director Gray- it's a pleasure to meet Don's brother. He may have already told you that we worked together in Albuquerque?"

Charlie grinned.

"Actually, no, he didn't mention it. As a matter of fact, I didn't even know he had been engaged until about a year ago."

Gray believed that sounded like something Eppes would do; keeping his romantic life to himself could easily be a result of his professional, all-business-no-fun attitude.

The niceties aside, Charlie informed the men-

"I've got a training film for this group to watch until Don comes. Then, we'll finish up the presentation when he arrives, if that's okay."

"Fine, fine," Gray waved a tired hand.

Before Charlie prepared to show the film, he asked another agent to pass out a stack of manila folders to the agents in the auditorium. Inside were his and Don's written summary of the presentation.

Charlie then dimmed the lights, taking out his brother's DVD, and placing it into a computer so its image would be projected onto the large white screen hanging down at the front of the room.

Charlie moved the computer's mouse over the word 'play' on the video menu.

As an image came up on the screen, he put aside the black DVD case with the words "Training Video" written in white, glaring letters across the front.