A/N: Well, here it is folks, the next chapter, a day later than planned yes, but I got distracted by something… someone. :S
Disclaimer: This is really getting tiring. None of this is mine.
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Previously
"We'll be back to see her again in the morning," Ilane said.
Father nodded and picked up the basin when the family had left. "Well, goodnight Neal."
"Father," I said hurriedly, as he went to close the door in my face, "please, may I stay with her?"
"All night?"
I hesitated then nodded and my father took his time thinking it over.
"Well, I suppose that would be alright. Just, call me should anything happen and don't disturb her."
I nodded and stepped forward as my father held open the door.
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My Greatest Fear
Chapter 8: Much Needed Advice
As soon as I entered the room, my eyes were drawn to Kel, who was as pale as death. Her eyes were shut and Alanna was bending over her.
My old knight-mistress looked up when she heard my father shut the door, and raised her eyebrows when she saw me. My father must have given her some kind of signal because she just shrugged and said, "She seems to be stable enough, she should make it through the night without any fuss."
"Good," Father said from behind me. "You can go to her Neal."
When I didn't move, he poked me gently in the back and I forced my legs to carry me to Kel's side.
Alanna put a chair behind me and I gratefully sank into it. I didn't hear my father and Alanna leaving the room, nor did I see them. I had eyes only for Kel who, if you ignored her colour, appeared to be perfectly healthy.
The plain, brown blanket was drawn up perfectly to the base of her throat; there was not a wrinkle to be seen.
Not knowing what to do, I picked up the hand nearest me and turned it palm up. I traced the fine scars there, courtesy of Kel's baby griffin.
"Watching you take care of him was so funny," I said into the silence. "You were so patient, even when he bit you just for feeding him."
I smiled at the memories that came into my head and the smile developed into a chuckle when I recalled that, in her griffin days, Kel always smelt faintly of fish.
"Not that that's a bad thing mind," I said, as if Kel had read my thoughts. "I've always liked fish."
My eyes returned to her face and I brushed a lock of hair away from her eyes.
I'd never felt her hair before. It was soft and such a beautiful colour. She'd always thought of her hair as rather dull; plain, old brown, she'd once told me.
Well! Plain, old brown it was not! It was more like bronze, particularly if the light hit it just right.
I laughed quietly. "And you thought I was partial to curly, blondes."
I sighed and gently smoothed a hand over the section of blanket that covered her belly and therefore, her wound. I didn't lift up the blanket to check the bandaging. I had no idea what she'd been dressed in (she could be naked!) and besides, both my father and Alanna had been healers long before I was born. I knew they'd done a good job.
"I'm so sorry," I whispered as tears stung my eyes. "You could have died. I put you in danger, even after the Ordeal, I put you in harms way."
Don't be stupid, Kel's voice said in my head. None of this is your fault.
"You're right if course, as always. I wish you'd open your eyes though, just so I can know you're alright."
This was the perfect time to study her features properly, without being told off for staring. Kel's nose was fine and delicate, not too big and not too small. It was dusted with freckles and flawlessly set off her mouth. Her lower lip was full but not so much that she had a permanent pout. Her eyebrows were interesting. They rose up to a point that was almost too sharp, before sloping gently back down again.
It came to me that I had a goofy grin on my face and I hastily wiped it away before I realised there was no one around to see.
That's right, said my mind, which seemed to have joined forces against me again, if you kiss her now, no one will see. You'll be the only one to know.
My mind sounded very persuasive but I couldn't. Kel could wake at any moment. It would be just my luck to be caught in the act. No. I would sit beside her, I would hold her hand, I would even touch her hair, but I would not kiss her.
I was strong on this front for ten minutes at the most before I began having second thoughts. She had just received a major healing so the chances of her waking up now were very slim. I might also never get another opportunity to do it. It wasn't often that I was in the same room as Kel when she was sleeping.
You know you want to, said my mind wickedly.
Well, of course I did! It was time to take a leap of faith!
Bending from the waist, I brought my face within inches of hers and whispered, "I love you," before leaning forward and gently kissing her.
When I came back up, I was glad to find that no one had snuck up on us but my eyes widened slightly and I drew back quickly as Kel stirred.
I waited, holding my breath, but let it out in relief when Kel just sighed and resettled herself, her head turned slightly in my direction.
I shook my head. "That was close. Definitely no more kissing, at least until I tell her."
It took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. When it did, is straightened in shock. I'd never actually planned on telling her. Sure, I'd thought about it after the Ordeal, but this was the first time I'd told myself that I'd do it.
I recalled the first time I'd tried to say it after my knighting. That was a disaster. Maybe the Gods had injured Kel to make me get on with it. Perhaps they were trying to teach me the value of life.
"Hmmm… that's an interesting thought."
Unfortunately, I didn't have time to pursue this because at that moment, I gave a great yawn and my eyes drooped, sleep having finally caught up with me. I didn't thank it for being so unexpected. I blinked once, twice…
… and when my lids parted, the infirmary was bright with dawn light, my neck was stiff and Kel was staring at me with her hazel eyes.
When this realisation registered, I jumped and leant forward to get closer to her, squeezing her hand. I was comforted greatly by the return pressure.
"Kel? Are you alright? How do you feel? Should I fetch Father? What about Alanna?"
She gave a drowsy smile and squeezed my hand again. In a quiet voice she said, "I'm alright. My stomach is sore but I'm fine really. And no, you don't need to fetch anyone. I'm happy with my present company."
I flushed when she said this and she giggled then groaned slightly.
"Don't laugh," I said, smoothing her hair. "Don't talk. I have enough air for both of us."
She was about to laugh again, but caught herself at the last moment. Instead, Kel nodded.
Should I apologize? I'd done it while she was asleep but that wasn't the same thing. She didn't look like she expected me to but looks could be deceiving. On the other hand, I already knew what she would say. She'd get angry at me for blaming myself for something out of my control. Maybe it was best to just leave things be.
"Well, I've been hear all night," I said before I could prevent myself. "Course, I didn't plan on falling asleep. Have you been awake long?"
Kel shook her head.
"Good, I'm just glad you didn't wake me up! I mean, usually I'm a real bear in the morning, but today is my good day. No mucking it up, okay?"
I could see the silent giggles behind her eye. She looked away for a moment and when she looked back, everything was under control.
It was at that moment, with the birds chirping outside and the servants hurrying along the corridors on the other side of the door, that I realised I had to do something. It was time to take action.
In a soft yet serious tone I said, "Kel, can I ask you something?"
Knowing she had to answer verbally now, Kel gathered herself and replied, "Of course Neal, always."
"If you loved someone, with all your being, would you tell them?"
She frowned and bit her lower lip. "I suppose so, yes."
"What if you'd known them for a long time and their friendship meant everything to you?"
"Hmmm… that makes things a little more difficult."
"It does rather."
"Well… if you'd known her for that long, and you were that close, I'd say, tell her. If she was a really good friend, she'd understand."
"Are you sure?"
Kel's face developed a funny expression. "I'm not sure of anything, Neal, but that's what I'd do."
I nodded. "That was much needed advice. Why are you so wise?"
Kel shrugged. "It had to be one of us!"
I chuckled. "True and I did get all the brains!"
Kel punched me in the arm. "So, do I know her?"
Frowning, I asked, "Who?"
"The woman you're taken with."
I shook my head. "What?"
"Neal, you wouldn't be asking for advice concerning your love life unless you had a lady on your mind."
"You see right through me, don't you?"
She smiled, slightly wickedly. "Always."
"Well, yes you do. Other than that, I'll tell you no more."
Before she could complain, my father entered the infirmary. "Ah Kel, my dear! How are you feeling this morning…?"
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A/N: OK, so it's shorter than normal. Can I help that?
Just as a warning, the next chapter may take me a little longer to write as I have to work out something concerning Kel's Ordeal. In the meantime, you can send me lots of nice reviews to keep me going!
