Author's Notes: Hello everyone! Yeah, I think as I made clear before, I had more to say with this story. lol. I had too much fun writing the first part to leave it at that.
As I hinted at before, this chapter sees Luz and Amity meeting the Ultimate Reality.
I wanted to upload this on January 1st in some vague hope it starts 2021 right.
Okay, let's get to something which I'm sure you have already noticed. The title change. To be honest, I struggled to come with a title before and threw one together at the last possible second just so I could upload it. And well...sometimes you think of the perfect title AFTER you've already uploaded it! lol.
So yeah, this story is now called "The Owl Lady's Million to One Chance."
I won't say exactly why yet but this is the PERFECT title for this story! I'm sorry for any confusion this might cause. And I will be editing the first chapter to reflect this change.
Before beginning, I just wanted to give a HUGE shout-out to those of you who read and reviewed this story! To be honest, when I wrote the first chapter, I didn't think it would do well. Crossovers generally don't get the same traction as straight stories and I knew that, while amazing, the Discworld series isn't as popular as the Owl House. I truthfully thought I'd be lucky to even get a single review. Needless to say, every review I got proved me wrong...and I was so happy to be proven wrong! :)
By the way, the title to this chapter is a reference to the official Discworld guidebook. I haven't read it myself yet but I had to use this. It's a great title! lol
Anyway, here's the second chapter of "The Owl Lady's Million to One Chance": Turtle Recall
That was exactly what happened.
It had been exactly a million to one chance.
So the odds had been in their favor all along.
Luz and Amity had freed the trapped trio from the Slitherbeast. Eda might have been the one to put the fearsome beast to sleep, but that wouldn't have happened if the youngest witch and the lone human hadn't stepped in. The three oldest witches present showed their gratefulness with kind words and rubbed heads.
Luz and Amity were fixing their messed up hair as they faced each other. It was the witch who spoke first. "So it looks like we'll be in the same class." She said to the human.
A twinkle flashed in Luz's brown eyes. "Aruza book club?" She asked, her voice level. Then as she bent her arms and tightened her hands into excited fists, she added with zeal, "Aruza book club!?" Hope permeated the chilly air.
Her cheeks flushing with red for reasons unknown to the human, Amity whispered, "As long as it's a secret club, okay?"
"It's not a secret!" Edric said with a raised hand and a massive grin plastered on his face.
"We're going to tell everyone!" Ermia added with a louder voice and bigger smirk.
Amity sighed in exasperation before returning her attention to Luz and the Owl Lady.
Before she could say anything more, Eda sneezed and sniffled back in some more snot. "Alright, your adorable banter is literally making me sick." She groaned before turning to her human student. "Let's go home already."
"On it, Teach!" Luz exclaimed happily with a raised pointer finger.
ACTUALLY, IF I COULD PLEASE JUST HAVE A FEW MOMENTS OF YOUR TIME.
The words seemed to enter their brains without first going through the ears, and had a strange atonal quality, like the grinding of one rock against another. Luz and Amity were utterly perplexed by this while the older three witches felt their blood freeze on instinct. They would never forget the being that voice belonged to. The rush of relief they had felt after he vanished into thin air, right before Amity had arrived to free them, was gone.
This new figure had all the necessary criteria for something the living had an aversion to.
The scythe that seemed so unnaturally sharp that a faint blue light like the hottest fire perpetually illuminated its curved blade as it sliced the air itself. The fleshless physique offering proof that if this being ever wrote a diet book he would be very successful. The robes that were dark enough to be what Black wore when entering its moody teenage phase. A stark unchanging face with sapphire stars nested within cavernous sockets.
"Where did you come from!?" Luz exclaimed exasperated.
I AM, IN A SENSE, ALWAYS HERE. The grim bony specter answered casually. HOWEVER, I AM HERE NOW SPECIFICALLY TO SPEAK WITH YOU.
There was a void of sound from the living that had the weight of a beached whale. Though his abilities at picking up on the subtleties of the living were scattershot at best, the macabre guest was still able to figure out what was going on.
NO NEED TO BE ALARMED. The towering skeleton said. IT IS ONLY ME.
"And who are you?" Luz asked, though she had a good idea. "Death, or something?" That had been said as a vague attempt at a joke, with a fragile looking smile to accompany it. Said smile shattered like glass stuck by a baseball bat at the answer given.
YES.
Luz and Amity looked at each other, reaching an unspoken agreement.
"Roaaar!" Luz bellowed on impulse. It had been the same improvised battle cry she uttered at the Bonesborough Library. Amity matched the human in kind.
Then the two charged.
Eda and the Blight Twins, already having had the shock scared out of them by coming face-to-non-face with Death, just stared at the absurd events that played themselves out.
Luz and Amity started running towards the black robed figure with some distance between them. Luz on the right and Amity on the left. They stopped when they would have been able to see each other if not for their target in the way with about twenty feet separating them. Amity held her hands slightly apart and soon a orb of pink fire came into being at the same time Luz was drawing a glyph on the snow.
I ASSURE YOU THERE IS NO NEED FOR-
The sequence of events that played itself out next was such a popoterious one that occurred so quickly that it can only be recounted in stop motion prose.
Amity unleashed her fireball at the exact moment that Luz finished her glyph, creating a column of snow that rocketed forth like a missile.
The magical attacks accelerated towards their target with unerring accuracy.
Death stood still. And to the shock and horror of the two youngest witches, their attacks passed through Death as if he had been made of mist.
The full implications of this didn't click until Amity suddenly found herself covered in snow and Luz had been sent flying ten feet backwards while she abruptly felt very warm.
Eda dashed towards her ward while Ermia and Edric rushed over to their little sister. Aside from being stunned, there appeared to be no injury to either of them. Sighs of relief and smiles of thankfulness were shared by all.
AS YOU CAN SEE, YOUR SPELLS WON'T WORK ON ME SO WHY DON'T-?
"Surprise attack!" Luz declared as she prepared another glyph in the snow. Another column of snow charged towards Death...where it did exactly as little as the previous one. The only proof of her efforts was a tree trunk that was now white instead of brown.
The anthropomorphic personification turned behind him to see the result of the failed strike. Then he returned his attention to the human, who was smiling rather sheepishly.
YOU KNOW, I DON'T APPRECIATE BEING ATTACKED. I HAVEN'T EVEN DONE ANYTHING. I UNDERSTAND YOU HATE ME BUT THIS IS EXCESSIVE.
Something about the way the scary skeleton said that last part made Luz pause. It sounded forlorn, even amongst the rumbling cadence that was Death's vocal default.
"I-I don't hate you," the human said, her voice sounding placating, even a little regretful.
EVERYBODY HATES ME. NO ONE IS EVER HAPPY TO SEE ME. SO WHY WOULD I ASSUME THAT YOU WOULD BE ANY DIFFERENT? FOOLISH IDEA, REALLY. Death explained. His shoulders slumped and his posture became slouched. A lung-less sigh was heard, one with eons of loneliness crammed into its exhale. AND THE FACT YOU ATTACKED ME UPON SEEING ME SUGGESTS OTHERWISE.
Luz winced, realizing how that was a jerky thing to do. "S-sorry…" She said apologetically. If she accepted that Death was a guy who you could talk to, it made sense to her how no one would want to talk to him. And that brought up bad memories of her time in the human world as a social pariah. For a moment or two, she felt real pity for the skeleton with a scythe. Then she found new resolve. "I might not hate you...but that doesn't mean I'm going to stand by and let you take away Eda! Or Emria...or Edric...or any of them!"
I HAD INITIALLY COME DUE TO THE POSSIBLE DEATHS OF YOUR ELDERS. THAT IS TRUE. Death said. BUT THAT IS NO LONGER A CONCERN. IT'S NOT THEIR TIME YET. THEY WERE SAVED. I AM NO LONGER HERE FOR THEM.
In response to this, all the ire and concern left the human. Reacting to this development, Luz raised her arms and started jumping up and down while squealing most adorably.
I AM NOW HERE TO SEE YOU, LUZ NOCEDA.
Luz froze, her arms still raised in mid-cheer, paralyzed as her look of radiant joy was replaced by the absolute pits of terror and despair.
The entirety of those assembled remained as unmoving as the human stricken by fear. Time crawled past as if a dying snail. This lingered for what seemed eons upon eons.
And then, with nothing external to trigger it, action exploded upon the snowy tableau.
Eda acted with a zeal she hadn't felt in years as she got in front of Luz and summoned her witch's staff. Glaring as harshly as she could at the imposing skeleton, the Owl Lady brought forth the full extent of her magical power. Tendrils of radiant gold cracked and writhed across her form. Luz took a few timid steps back at seeing her mentor so wrathful and powerful. More shocking than that, Eda wasn't making any clever wisecracks.
But she also wasn't attacking. Her stance was rigid but ready to be unleashed at a moment's notice. Even with her concern for Luz, Eda would much rather not charge on Death himself. Being that she was closer to the end of her life than its beginning, the Owl Lady had a built in aversion towards what the skeleton intrinsically was.
Another present, much closer to the start of her journey, was unbound by that limitation.
For reasons she didn't have time to process or understand, Amity conjured forth another fireball in her hands. The effort was rather taxing but a sense of primal panic gave her the needed resolve. Shockingly, her own fear wasn't the catalyst for this summoned will.
Amity attacked. She knew precisely who and what it was the moment she saw him, deep in that animal hindbrain in which every witch feared it and knew it all at once. But he had spoken of Luz. He had come for her…and the youngest Blight would not allow that!
Death politely didn't move out of the way, and the fireball went through his form and hit a tree behind him.
"You could at least pretend it hurt you," Amity said, slumping dejectedly even as she stood, feeling like a total failure for not being able to protect her new friend.
OUCH, said Death, courteously.
"Yeah, that didn't make me feel better," Amity grumbled. Then she ironed her resolve as her sense of failure was burned away and whipped up into violent rage. It had been so long since she felt the warmth of what she hoped was a true friendship. After years of being forced into bonding with her horrible peers, she wouldn't give this up. "Listen, I don't care who you are or that they don't do anything…I will not let you take Luz away!"
As she issued her threat to the End of Life itself, Amity felt both of her hands surged with power previously unimagined as they each erupted with a radiant green swirling inferno. The fires were self-sustaining and seemingly growing larger as they continued to exist. The flickering emerald light and shadow made her determined glare look nearly demonic.
YOU MISUNDERSTAND MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, AMITY BLIGHT.
Her fires didn't vanish, but the hateful look on the young witch's face softened some, partially because she had to fight the urge to wince at hearing her name said by Death. A strong chill coursed through her body. It felt like someone was walking over her grave. "Oh? Then why are you here?" she asked guardedly. "And how can I trust you?"
IF IT WAS LUZ NOCEDA'S TIME TO GO WITH ME, THERE WOULD BE NOTHING YOU COULD DO TO STOP ME. WHETHER YOU TRUST ME OR NOT IS IRRELEVANT. I ALONE AM ABSOLUTE, Death said, with no malice. He was simply stating a fact. I ONLY CLAIM THOSE WHOSE TIME HAS COME. AS TO WHY I AM HERE…I MERELY WISH TO SPEAK WITH LUZ. NOTHING MORE.
"O—oh," Amity said, the wind thoroughly cut from her sails, as the fireballs vanished. Suddenly, the youngest Blight felt rather silly…and yet oddly okay with her actions.
At least, until Erima rubbed her head. "Mittens!" the naturally green haired girl witch said with zeal that was equal parts sincere and overly mocking. "That was so awesome! Who would have thought it would just take fearing for your cute friend to do so well?"
"I know, right?" Edric confirmed, as he pinched Amity's cheek. "Our little Mittens is growing up so fast! We'll blink and she'll be walking down the aisle!"
All at once, Amity's face bloomed in a vivid red as she held her breath and repressed her ever-mounting rage. She was starting to regret saving her siblings from the Slitherbeast. Her mouth was a tightened frown of bitterness and her eyes were golden maelstroms. This lasted for about five seconds before the look broke and she took a deep breath. "Oh, almost passed out!" she said to herself in a weak voice still desperate for oxygen.
Ermia and Edric noted their little sister didn't fire off any scathing retorts and instead turned her attention back to Luz, who had been watching the whole interaction with a goofy grin. That made a weaker shade of crimson return to Amity's cheeks. This gave the twins a few ideas that they were definitely going to test out over the next few weeks.
They silently agreed that Luz and their little sister were no longer as sour as pickles.
TREAT YOUR LITTLE SISTER BETTER. Death said, grabbing the attention of the twins. FAMILY TENDS TO BE VERY IMPORTANT TO PEOPLE. MANY WISH THEY HAD TREATED THEIR KIN BETTER WHEN THEY COME BEFORE ME.
Ermia and Edric, with looks that were frozen in place by a fear the living rarely ever approach, nodded their heads so rapidly and often that Amity worried they might fall off. Somewhere deep in their minds was a very distinct and chilly understanding that they would do well to heed Death's advice very, very quickly. There had been nothing purposefully intimidating in Death's words or even what he was suggesting, but when a sentiment came from Death himself, it often developed a terrifying edge by proxy.
Amity felt the last of her lingering fear and anger vanish as she stared at the tall skeleton. This might have been the first time anyone had ever taken her side over her siblings. The fact it was Death doing this left the youngest Blight feeling rather conflicted.
In all the commotion, it was only half-heartedly noticed by all that the menacing golden arua crackling around Eda had vanished. The mentor breathed a sigh of relief at knowing her pucky pupil wasn't in any danger.
"So," Luz said, turning her attention back to the grim reaper, "just to be clear, I'm not dying, right?"
OH NO. YOU ARE DYING. Death said with no tact. THIS IS CERTAIN, I'M AFRAID.
That caused Luz's heart to skip at a rather vigorous rate for what seemed like eons. With her eyes widened, she hurriedly searched over herself with her hands, looking for any possible spots that could be the source of the end that Death himself had predicted. She failed to notice both Eda and Amity rushing to her and just as eagerly surveying her body. The Blight Twins were hovering around them, unable to get any closer to Luz. They each did over ten sweeps over the hispanic human's body before they turned back to face Death, his permanent smile still there and his sockets still shining sapphire.
The living waited a long while for Death to continue and explain this paradox but soon they gathered this was a poor decision and thus took the matter into their own hands.
"Uh...are you sure I'm dying?" asked Luz, more uncertain than scared at this point.
YES.
"But...shouldn't, uh, shouldn't my life be flashing before my eyes...or something?"
IT IS.
"Uh?"
I THINK PERHAPS YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND. Death began to explain. PEOPLE'S WHOLE LIVES DO PASS IN FRONT OF THEIR EYES BEFORE THEY DIE. THE PROCESS IS CALLED LIVING.
The human and quartet of witches blinked dumbly as they processed that information.
JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE DYING DOESN'T MEAN YOU ARE GOING TO DO SO AT THIS VERY MOMENT.
Silence lingered until one of those gathered had the necessary drive to utterly destroy it.
"Then why did you say that Luz is going to die!?" Amity snapped, angry and confused, to a degree that surprised even her. For reasons she didn't fully grasp, the youngest witch present thanked the Boiling Isles that the human had failed to notice her outburst.
EVERYONE IS. Death clarified, unaffected. MORE SO FROM MY POINT OF VIEW. EVERY STEP YOU TAKE IN LIFE BRINGS YOU ONE STEP CLOSER TO THE GRAVE. IN SOME WAYS, YOUR LIFE IS THE COUNTDOWN TO YOUR DEATH.
Everyone was silent as they regarded the latest words of the walking End of All Things. The looks on their faces were a gallery of different expressions of utterly pissed off. Their anger filled the silent wilderness as if it were water being poured into a balloon. Eventually, the balloon burst and understanding dawned in a skull that had no brain.
I'M SO SORRY. THAT WAS A MORBID PROCLAMATION TO MAKE, WASN'T IT?
"Ya think!?" snapped Eda.
Death winced, as if he had been struck in the non-face by a flamethrower. This was the first time Luz and Amity saw the imposing specter of their final fate turn away with slumped posture suggesting he was utterly embarrassed for a conversational slip-up.
It was jarring.
I'M SORRY. I BELIEVE I MENTIONED BEFORE I WAS NOT USED TO SMALL TALK, DID I NOT? THIS TALK IS NOT BIG ENOUGH TO BE IN MY WHEELHOUSE. Death uttered a lung-less sigh, to the amazement of the two youngest humanoids. TO REITERATE, LUZ IS DYING BUT NOT AT THIS EXACT MOMENT.
The lone painting in this gallery of flesh that clashed with the general trend was on Luz's. Instead of looking angry, the human was showing radiant comprehension and amusement conveyed through lowered eyelids and a smile with a faintly puffed edge to its curve. "Okay, okay," She said, her voice matching the bemused look on her face as she nodded. "I'm picking up what you're putting down."
Death looked down at his covered feet and stared at the edge of his robe for several long seconds. Sapphire sockets stared for long enough for the Blight Twins to look at each other with raised eyebrows.
I'M NOT PUTTING ANYTHING DOWN. Death said at last, his booming bass voice reverberated vexation. His eyeless gaze fell back to the five beings he was conversing with. He noticed that Amity's eyes had been staring at the snow-covered ground just as much as he had. It did him good to know even the living couldn't grasp what was said.
"You must be a hoot at parties, uh?" Eda fired off, still annoyed at the misunderstanding.
I AM NOT KNOWN FOR MY SENSE OF FUN. said Death, once again unfazed. AND I NEVER GET INVITED TO PARTIES. His voice sounded subtly more somber at this.
Luz uttered a gasped "Aw!" of sympathy but before she could speak, Death cut in again while turning his sockets towards her. A spike of dread covered her in goosebumps.
NOW THEN. LET ME HAVE A GOOD LOOK AT YOU. Death stared a long while. YES. YES, INDEED. YOU ARE IN FACT A HUMAN.
"Well...yeah, of course I am," Luz said, not really sure how to take that statement. "Of course I'm human."
ON THE BOILING ISLES? Death asked. THAT DOES NOT HAPPEN EVERY DAY. AND I WOULD KNOW.
"What do you mean?"
I REMEMBER EVERYTHING, SO I AM NOT OFTEN SURPRISED. BUT THAT WAS MY REACTION WHEN I FOUND THIS IN MY LIBRARY.
With that, Death reached into one of the sleeves of his robe and pulled something out. It was an hourglass with sand slowly but steadily falling from the top to the bottom. There was some writing on the bottom. The words were solid black with white patterns like jagged white lines with varying degrees of thickness. It vaguely reminded Luz of the stylized typed font that some Mexican restaurants used in their signs and business cards. But of greater note to her was the words that were written out as if in Tacos de Tijuana.
LUZ NOCEDA
The human had consumed enough fiction to grasp what she was looking at, but she needed to be sure. "Wh-what is that?" Asked Luz.
YOUR LIFE-TIMER. Death answered. THE RECORD OF YOUR LIFE. LESS THAN A MONTH AGO, THIS DID NOT EXIST. AT LEAST, NOT WITHIN MY DOMAIN.
"Your domain?" Luz parroted, confused. Then, with no prompting, her eyes sparkled. "Are you saying that back home I couldn't die? That I was immortal!?" The human then began to go off on a long tangent about all the things she would do when she got back home knowing that she was immortal until the Grim Reaper cut her off rather promptly.
NO. THAT WOULD BE LOAD OF RUBBISH. Death corrected. YOU HAVE BEEN SUSCEPTIBLE TO MORALITY FROM THE MOMENT OF YOUR BIRTH. WHAT I MEANT WAS YOUR DEATH WASN'T MY RESPONSIBILITY UNTIL THIS APPEARED WITH ME. UNTIL NOW, IT WAS SOME OTHER DEATH'S DUTY.
Luz was too flabbergasted to speak, so Amity asked the question laying heavy on her tongue for her. "Other...other Deaths? As in...m-more than one?"
YES. EVERY WORLD HAS A DEATH.
There was a long beat. "Say what now?" the youngest Blight witch asked in disbelief.
EVERY WORLD HAS A DEATH TO DO THE NEEDED DUTY, MISS BLIGHT. AND WHENEVER SOMEONE GETS THE IDEA OF HOPPING BETWEEN WORLDS, THE DEATH OF THAT WORLD HANDLES ANY POSSIBLE NEED OF THEIR SERVICES. IT SAVES ON HEADACHES AND ARGUMENTS OVER WHERE ONE DEATH'S REACH STARTS AND ANOTHER'S ENDS. WHEN BOTH OF THOSE INVOLVED ARE ABSOLUTE, NEITHER ARE EAGER TO CONCEDE DEFEAT.
The five mortals each chewed on that reveal in their own ways. One Death in the (metaphorical) flesh was hard enough to grasp. The idea of their being many was rather overwhelming. The robed presence allowed them some time to process that before continuing with his inquiries.
Death turned to Luz. HOW DID YOU GET TO THIS WORLD, EXACTLY? he asked.
"Hey, wait a minute, buster," Eda interjected, before her human ward could answer. "I thought you said you knew everything? Watch out, Luz! I know something's fishy when it reeks like a trash slug. Sounds like he can't keep his story straight!"
I ASSURE YOU THAT MY STORY IS RATHER LINEAR. Death answered, his voice offering no suggestion of any offense. YOU MISHEARD ME, EDA CLAWTHORNE. I SAID I REMEMBER EVERYTHING, NOT THAT I KNOW EVERYTHING. THERE IS SOMETHING OF DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE TWO, THOUGH I DO KNOW A LOT. The skeleton put a bony finger to his smooth white chin as he recalled something. IN FACT, NOW I BELIEVE I REMEMBER THE ANSWER TO MY OWN QUESTION. IT WAS YOUR INTERDIMENSIONAL PORTAL, WASN'T?
Eda's default cockiness left her as something akin to fear or concern replaced it. "What are you talking about?" she asked.
THE PORTAL THAT CAN LOOK LIKE AN ATTACHE CASE OR A DOOR FOR SOME REASON. Death answered, not reacting to the change in his conversational partner. THE ONE THAT ALLOWS INSTANTANEOUS TRAVEL THROUGHOUT THE MULTIVERSE WITHOUT NEEDING A LIBRARY OR CONCERN OF ONE'S HEAD ACCIDENTALLY BEING SENT FIVE MILES AWAY FROM ONE'S NECK.
"Yeah," Luz admitted. "That's the one!"
I THOUGHT SO. IN SOME WAYS THAT'S A RELIEF. IF IT HAD BEEN THE RESULT OF SOME NATURAL TEAR IN THE FABRIC OF REALITY OR A PART OF SOME INCURSION BY NEFARIOUS FORCES, THAT WOULD BE MOST UNDESIRABLE. THIS MAKES THINGS EASIER. Death then turned back to Eda. I WOULD SUGGEST YOU KEEP THAT PORTAL CLOSE. SOME TROUBLE WILL BE COMING FOR YOU IN ORDER TO CLAIM IT, MISS CLAWTHORNE.
All at once the warning bells in Eda's mind were blaring. "What do you mean?" she asked.
WHEN WE MAY MEET AGAIN YOU MIGHT BE IN A RATHER NASTY BIND. YOUR PORTAL WILL BE THE CRUX OF THE ISSUE. BE PREPARED FOR THAT.
"You know when we'll meet again?"
POSSIBLY. Death answered vaguely. THERE'S THE UNCERTAINTY PRINCIPLE, REMEMBER.
"Yeah, but you know when we'll meet again?" The Owl Lady asked with force.
NO. BUT I MAY REMEMBER IT. I HAVE A UNIQUE MEMORY.
"How can you remember something that hasn't happened yet, or might not happen at all!?"
I DID SAY UNIQUE.
Eda had no idea what to say to that, and with so many things she could have said, she chose to say none. Frankly, this sounded like too much of a headache to dive into now.
Then Luz blinked, as if realizing something only then. "And what was that bit about the whole head thing?" the human added promptly.
FOR WIZARDS, TELEPORTATION IS AN EXPERIMENTAL AND VERY DANGEROUS SPELL, Death explained. FOR A PERSON OR OBJECT TO BE BROUGHT TO YOU, SOMETHING OR SEVERAL THINGS OF EQUAL OR GREATER MASS MUST BE SENT TO YOU TO REPLACE THE PERSON OR OBJECT YOU ARE MOVING. IF THE WEIGHT DIFFERENCE IS SIGNIFICANT, SUCH AS, FOR EXAMPLE, BETWEEN A FIVE OUNCE BIRD WITH A ONE POUND COCONUT, THEN THE RUBBER BAND EFFECT WILL CAUSE THE LIGHTER OF THE TWO OBJECTS TO BE SLUNG THROUGH THE SPACE-TIME CONTINUINUUM AT HIGHLY ACCELERATED SPEEDS SURPASSING THE TENS OF MILES PER HOUR, RESULTING IN A RATHER FEATHERY, BLOODY PATE.
"Oh no! That poor little birdy!" Luz shouted, horrified, missing the forest for the trees.
"Ugh!" Eda groaned instinctively. "Wizard's are the worst. Never trust a man in casual drapery."
I HAVE NO ISSUE WITH WHAT THEY WEAR, BUT THEY CAN BE RATHER ANNOYING. Death agreed with a nod of his hooded skull.
"Really?" The Owl Lady asked, almost thinking that Death was pulling her leg. But that notion was thoroughly crushed at the idea of this grim specter, with a voice possessing all the warmth and merriment of an iceberg, being capable of that sort of thing.
INDEED, Death nodded. ALWAYS SUMMONING ME AT INOPPORTUNE MOMENTS. ALWAYS SHOUTING AT ME IN ARCHAIC DIALECT. A LOT OF 'O CREATURE OF EARTH AND DARKNESS' NONSENSE. WHEN I AM TENDING TO MY BEES OR TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW THOSE WONDERFUL BISCUITS WITH CHOCOLATE IN THEM ARE BAKED WITHOUT MELTING IT, THE LAST THING I WISH IS TO BE 'COMMANDED' TO DO SOMETHING WITH AN INCREASINGLY FLOWERY PROCESSION OF TITLES. RATHER TIRESOME. THOUGH THAT'S THE ONLY TIME ANYONE IS EAGER TO SPEAK WITH ME.
Despite her best efforts, Eda felt something flit within her mind and chest at this moment.
The eldest witch present felt a flickering kinship with the End of Life.
Few things endeared two beings more easily than shared animosity for a third party.
Each of the other, not to mention younger, listeners had their own piece of that little spiel that they focused on. Luz found her attention span focusing on three separate things at the exact same time, since it couldn't focus on just one.
'What could the rest of that 'Earth and Darkness' thingy be? It sounds like something out of Aruza!'
'What kinds of biscuits have chocolate in them? I know muffins can, but biscuits?'
'People only talk to him when they want something? That's so sad! Poor Death!'
SO, YOU COME FROM THE ROUNDWORLD? Death asked, turning to face Luz.
"Roundworld?" Luz repeated, confused. Then she had a flicker of understanding pass through her. "Oh! Do you mean Earth?"
I BELIEVE THAT IS ANOTHER NAME FOR IT, YES.
The Hispanic human then considered something that seemed rather daft to consider at all. "Why do you call it Roundworld?"
Death's eyeless stare seemed more informed by mood and confusion than his lack of eyes. Prolonged seconds passed by that would normally be filled by perplexed blinking. ER...BECAUSE IT IS A WORLD...THAT IS ROUND. He finally said, slowly, as if explaining what happened when you subtract two from three to a struggling student.
Now it was Luz's turn to stare dumbly, though her use of eyelids moving up and down didn't make the gap between the next spoken word feel nearly as vast and unyielding. "Wait a minute...aren't all worlds round?" she eventually forced herself to ask.
BEING ROUND ISN'T COMPULSORY TO BEING A WORLD.
Luz stared vacantly. "What?" she asked.
Death sighed, as air was exhaled without any of the fleshy bits that made that possible. THERE ARE WORLDS THAT AREN'T ROUND. THE WORLD THAT THE BOILING ISLES ARE A PART OF IS A RATHER GOOD EXAMPLE OF THAT.
The human's face was a mirror to how she couldn't begin to comprehend that concept.
Air again passed through lungs that didn't exist. THIS WORLD IS THE DISCWORLD.
"Discworld? What's a Discworld?"
Another biologically impossible sigh that existed mainly because the multiverse believed that it would be an appropriate reaction to a situation such as this was uttered by Death. EXACTLY WHAT THE NAME SUGGESTS. A WORLD IN THE SHAPE OF A DISC.
"It's a disc?" Luz asked with awe. "A disc floating through space!?"
NO, NO...THAT WOULD BE A RATHER SILLY IDEA.
Luz and Amity regarded Death with puzzled looks. Why bring that up if it wasn't true?
The three edlest witches all then recalled something Death had said while they were in the cave. Without using any of the skills honed in the oracle classes of Hexside, they knew what was about to be said next, the most patently absurd thing any of them had ever heard.
IT IS A REVOLVING DISC THAT IS BALANCED ON THE MASSIVE SHOULDERS OF FOUR MIGHTY WORLD ELEPHANTS THAT STAND UPON THE GRANDER CARAPACE OF GREAT A'TUIN, THE WORLD TURTLE, AS IT SWIMS THROUGH THE VOID OF SPACE, Death explained matter-of-factly. THE NAMES OF THOSE FOUR ELEPHANTS ARE TUBUL, JERAKEEN, BERILIA, AND GREAT T'PHON.
The implications of what they had just heard rung thunderously in the minds of the youngest mortals. Their state mirrored that of their elders earlier in the cave. There were so many questions that could be asked given the truths imparted onto them.
"What makes the last one 'Great?'" Luz asked.
There was a prolonged pause as eyeless sockets seemed to be regarding her probingly.
THAT IS THE DETAIL WHICH IS THE MOST VEXING TO YOU? Death asked, but before the human could defend herself, he added, WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
"Only the last elephant has 'great' before its name. Are the other ones not as big or great? I mean, they are all on the same turtle's shell, right? That doesn't sound right, or nice."
NO, NO IT DOES NOT. Death agreed before mulling this over in cavernous silence. YOU KNOW, I NEVER THOUGHT TO ASK MYSELF. Then there was a long pause. YOU SEEM TO BE TAKING THIS IN STRIDE. DO YOU BELIEVE ME, LUZ?
"Well...I guess I do. I've seen lots of crazy stuff since I got here. I mean, I'm talking to Death so anything's fair game at that point, right? You could tell me that there is a world out there covered in chocolate and I'd probably believe you." She chuckled sheepishly.
THERE IS.
For all of her rolling with the punches, Luz was brought up short by that. More so out of instinct than any conscious thought, she uttered with disbelieving lips, "What?"
I'VE HEARD FROM A RELIABLE SOURCE THAT THERE ARE WORLDS COVERED IN CHOCOLATE. IT IS HARDLY A RARE COMMODITY, IT SEEMS.
"Really?"
INDEED.
Luz blinked a few times.
I THINK IT WOULD BE BEST IF YOU KEPT THAT TRUTH TO YOURSELF. THE LAST THING I NEED IS A MASSIVE SPIKE IN CLIENTS DUE TO WITCHES AND WIZARDS SEEKING THAT OUT.
"Why? Because it's hard to get to?"
POSSIBLY. BUT TRUTHFULLY I'M MORE THINKING OF WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF IT WAS EVER FOUND.
"Why would-?"
CHOCOLATE IS A HIGHLY DANGEROUS SUBSTANCE. TOO MUCH OF IT CAN BE RATHER BAD FOR ONE'S HEALTH. TO SAY NOTHING OF THE TEETH.
Silence reigned. Even the ambient noises of nature had been quieted by Death's words.
"What about the Wailing Star!?" Amity proclaimed with more desperation in her voice than she would have preferred. Somehow, despite talking to Death himself, this was a horse pill too large to swallow. She had to resist it, if only for the sake of her own sanity. And her recent memories found a hole in this idea that she burrowed into with the gusto of a pixie-stick addicted rabbit. "That star has a set pattern that appears in the night's sky. We know when it's going to show up long before it does. If our world were...always moving, and not in a consistent orbit, how could it keep appearing so regularly?"
FOR THE SAME REASON THAT THERE IS A SUN AND MOON IN THE SKY WITHOUT FAIL, MISS BLIGHT. Death said with the utmost politeness and wisdom. BECAUSE THE LIVING OF ALL KINDS BELIEVE IT SHOULD BE THERE.
There were no words that Amity could utter to that conception. Death seemed to notice.
DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF BELIEF, Death explained sagely. IT IS A POWERFUL THING. THE FOURTH MOST POWERFUL CONCEPT IN ANY UNIVERSE.
"Yeah," Luz said with wonder, "That's pretty...wait...uh, fourth?"
YES.
"Then...uh...well...what's the third?"
LUCK.
"And-and the second?"
ME. DEATH.
"No way! Seriously!?" The human then recovered from that. "Okay, okay...what's the first then?"
YOU'RE NOT READY FOR THAT.
Luz pouted adorably at that. Amity was so stricken by the sight that she almost failed to notice Death regarding her. Though he had no eyes, she felt like he was staring right through her. She knew he knew that she hadn't been swayed on this world-turtle insanity!
I BELIEVE THAT SEEING WOULD GO A LONG WAY TOWARDS HAVING YOU BELIEVE ME. Death said as he raised the bony hand that wasn't holding his scythe.
"What do you-?"
Amity's question was cut off as Death snapped his fingers. The sound reverberated.
Her inquiry was strangled, replaced by a terrified gasp of incomprehension as something about the reality around her had changed with none of the typical razzle-dazzle fanfare. She looked down, and uttered a loud scream of mind-numbing existential horror. Any embarrassment she might have felt at this was lessened due to the others doing the same. Luz in particular further took away any shame by leaping upward and embracing her as if she were life raft at sea. Her face felt very warm and a wonderful tingle passed through her which allowed the youngest Blight to obtain the ability to grasp what she was seeing.
Where there had once been the snow covered landscape of the Knee there was now the dark void of outer space. Stars twinkled heatlessly under the five sets of covered toes. Tipping those toes revealed they were still on solid ground despite what every other sense was suggesting. Ignoring their feet, they would have believed they were thousands of feet in the sky, amongst the furnaces of Creation from which everything ever spawned from.
But even being within the same sphere as the heavenly bodies lost its luster as something else appeared.
Something that cut through the curling and billowing star-mists with primal majesty.
Something that was so improbably colossal and moving so glacially slow that it was impossible to miss but so patently absurd that it couldn't possibly have been real.
Something that was in an astral plane that was never meant to fly.
Something that even the magic users of the Boiling Isles couldn't have imagined.
Great A'Tuin, the World Turtle...a turtle the size of a world.
It was unhidden in all his impossible glory for them all to see.
They saw everything.
The ponderous flippers that could have nestled many chains of archipelagos like sand grains. Eyes the size of seas caked in rheum and crusted in asteroid dust that stared fixedly ahead as they sent information to a brain bigger than a city with geological slowness. The hydrogen frost that spread gray and brittle tattoos over an immense and ancient olive-green shell pocked with meteor craters that filled one's mind as mightily as a whale would in a goldfish bowl. And the less impressive foursome of continent sized elephants, supporting a rotating disc on their star-tanned shoulders. A disc with a long waterfall endlessly plunging into the depths of space all along the vast circumference.
The sight lingered for however long until just as swiftly as it came it was gone. There was once again only the snowy terrain that was actually the kneecap of an eons old dead titan. Something that was grounded in reality.
Everyone stared in awe, for a variety of reasons. The most obvious of which was the power just shown so casually. To varying degrees, everyone present knew of magic. But that had been something of a higher tier all together. A kind of magical power that was to their spells and hexes in the same manner as a mega Hollywood blockbuster was to shadow puppets. Even Eda struggled to comprehend the power Death possessed. She might have been the mightiest witch on the Boiling Isles but that title suddenly meant a lot less. After all, that hadn't just been an illusion. Somehow she knew that to be true. Death had been able to rewrite Reality itself to have them both be on the Knee but also in the untamed ether of outer space. And he did that with a mere snap of his fingers.
The other key reason for the shocked state of the five living beings was the implications of what they had just seen. World Turtle or not, they had gazed directly at an entire world. A place brimming with billions of normal beings just living out their mundane lives. It was humbling to grasp that, and imposing to fathom the connection of this skeleton to it.
"And you are the Death of all of that!?" asked Luz, yet again filled with wondrous awe.
CORRECT. Death said in a neutral tone. EVERY LIVING THING THAT LIVES ON THE DISC SHALL FALL WITHIN MY DUTY EVENTUALLY. ALL OF THEM. ONE DAY, EVEN GREAT A'TUIN WILL DIE. NOW THAT WILL BE A CHALLENGE.
The image of a turtle the size of a planet wouldn't be living the human's mind anytime soon. "E-even...uh...even him…?" she asked, almost disbelievingly.
INDEED. EVERYTHING DIES.
"E-even you?"
NO, NOT ME. OBVIOUSLY. THAT WOULD BE RATHER SILLY. I AM DEATH. SAYING I WOULD DIE IS LIKE SAYING THE OCEAN WILL DROWN.
For the upteenth time since meeting Death, the living were rendered as silent as the grave. Yet again, they wondered, what fitting response could there be for his claim? Eventually, one of them found themselves capable of choosing a new conversation pathway, one that was already paved by being walked upon it earlier in the day.
"Hey, Bonehead," Eda said, causing the stare like sapphire stars to turn towards her. "You said you met me once before, right?"
THAT IS CORRECT. Death confirmed.
"I don't remember that. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't ever forget seeing your ugly mug." The Owl Lady raised an eyebrow in suspicion.
UNSURPRISING. IT WAS AN EXPERIENCE MANY WOULD RATHER FORGET.
The eldest witch puzzled over this. "So, was I being bad when we first met?" asked Eda.
YOU WERE AT YOUR LOWEST POINT, IF THAT'S WHAT YOU MEAN.
"Ominous," She said with a cheerful grin. "But interesting. Tell me more!"
Death gave her a long look. ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO KNOW? MOST PEOPLE DON'T WISH TO BE TOLD OF THEIR LOWEST POINT?
"Well, yeah, but I ain't most people, buster!" Eda said with confident swagger. "I'm Eda the Owl Lady, the strongest and baddest witch on the Boiling Isles!"
"And the foxiest!" Luz chimed in, which led to the Blight siblings looking at her funny while her mentor fired off finger-guns as she winked in approval of the comment.
I FEEL JUST TELLING YOU WOULD BE INSUFFICIENT TO HAVE YOU BELIEVE ME. I THINK I SHALL HAVE TO SHOW YOU.
"Wait a second," Amity butted in. The top student of Hexside noticed something was off. And, she admitted to herself, she wanted to prove Death wrong about something, at least once, even if only in the smallest way possible. "I thought you said that you met her in the past?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.
I DID SAY THAT, YES.
Amity blinked. "But if that happened in the past…how could you show her what happened?"
TIME IS SOMETHING THAT HAPPENS TO OTHER PEOPLE. I AM NOT BOUND BY THE SAME RESTRICTIONS AS YOU. I CAN GO TO WHENEVER I WISH. AND I AM CAPABLE OF BRINGING OTHERS WITH ME TO THAT WHENEVER.
"No…way…" Luz said slowly with awe choking her voice as her eyes widened and sparkled. "Eso es tan maravilloso!" The Hispanic human suddenly shouted in Spanish to the confusion of all the witches present. "You can actually travel through time!?"
YES. I CAN. Death said, before ignoring the continued gushing of the easily excited anomaly from the Roundworld and turning back to Eda. ARE YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANT TO RECONSIDER? OR AT LEAST JUST HAVE YOU AND I SEE IT?
"Nah, I've done nothing that I really regret." Eda said dismissively with a hand wave. "Besides, these punks should see what true badness looks like!" She chuckled happily.
WE'RE IN AGREEMENT, THOUGH I THINK WE HAVE DIFFERENT MEANINGS. Death said before sighing, despite the earlier mentioned lack of the necessary biology. VERY WELL. PREPARE YOURSELVES.
The gathered group of six vanished without any dramatic spectacle or occult fanfare.
And that was the latest chapter of this story! As always, I hope you enjoyed it.
So, what did you think of the reactions of Luz and Amity to Death? Luz is more open and emotional whereas Amity is more disbelieving and cynical. Does that seem like the fitting reactions for these characters?
Now, I know that technically Amity hasn't fallen for Luz yet...so the Lumity moments might seem a little out of left field. But let me make my case for this. While Amity hasn't definitely fallen for the loveable human until a few episodes from this point, those feelings had to start somewhere and clearly this episode piggybacks off the previous one as being that starting point. So mix in the stress of thinking Death has come to claim her new friend...that is my reasoning why for the Lumity bits. Well, that and my LOVE of this ship and desire for it to be canon alright! lol
Did you like the details I included on Luz's life-timer to make it seem like something that would reflect her nature?
So, what did you think of the comments that Death makes about the universe and the reactions of the Owl House characters to them. As you can guess, those were fun to write! I didn't intend for this chapter to be this long but I kept thinking of cool topics they could talk about. This chapter is just about eight thousand words long! I actually had to cut a few. Did you have any that were particular favorite moments where Death recalls the utter insanity of Discworld?
One particular bit I want to acknowledge is the "top four concepts" bit. As much as I would love to take credit for this, I got this from another fan-fiction writer. WrithingOedon, who wrote the Discworld/Little Witch Academia crossover "LWA: Regarding Death." It's one of my personal favorite Discworld crossovers and I love this particular bit because as far as I'm aware this isn't explicitly used in the Discworld series but it's in keeping with the tone of the series. And by the way, he never reveals what the most powerful concept in any universe is. lol. Also, since I couldn't fit this in the chapter proper, apparently Love is the fifth most powerful while Friendship is the sixth.
The bit about Death "showing" the Discworld to the characters is something he technically hasn't done in the series but it's easily within his power to do so. There is very little that Death can't do. Another character who is far less powerful than Death does a similar thing in the novel "Eric."
In the next chapter, we will see where Eda and Death met in the past. This next chapter is partially written and it was basically the thing that's the main reason I was able to extend this story. So I'm naturally very excited by this! Do you have any guesses as to what the situation will be that lead to Eda meeting Death in the past?
So, until the next chapter, please read, review, favor, follow, and spread the word!
