Hello, anyone who reads this. Sorry for the wait. I hope that this is funny and not too evil, seeing that it involvs real people. Please enjoy chapter four!


Chapter 4: Sneaking Aboard

The three young ladies of the Oui Gang were sitting in a small circle in front of their warm fire. It was a bit past seven in the evening, and they were plotting.

"Ok, so I think a good way to take Granger down is to befriend the enemy, if you know what I mean." Jilly-O grinned madly as she spoke. "So, I guess we should start hanging out with them. We can use the fact that Hermione was the first one we saw when we got stuck here. She seems like she'd be overjoyed to hang out with us. And maybe we can use her know-it-all-ness to get us out of here... You know. After I get to date Vikky!" So that was the plan. Jilly-O felt confident that it would work.

"Sounds good to me. But I've got to get going. Detention, ick! And with Scary Snape!" Mole said, gathering her bookbag.

"Oh, I'm sure you want a detention with him!" Jilly-O joked.

"Argh, no! Just because he was like my favorite character... Ew, no!" Mole squealed. "But you know, he might be able to help send us back home." She said hopefully. Throwing her bag over her shoulder, she left through the portriat hole. Her friends watched after her, sympathetically. Then, Jilly-O had another bright idea.

"Let's go for a walk!" She suggested to Loddle. "Around the lake!" Loddle caught on and grinned. The two grapped their spiffy new cloaks and threw them over their uniforms before grabbing their wands and maps. They too left through the portriat hole and bid their pirate friend a good night.

Meanwhile, Mole finally reached the door to the potions classroom. She checked her watch. Five minutes early. That was just great. Not! She sighed and decided that she should use her extra time to find out if Snape knew a way to send them back to the "real world". She knocked, and just as she expected, a voice barked, "Enter."

Snape looked up from his work and sneered at Mole, who visibly paled. "You're early. Why?" He asked.

"I'd be late, otherwise." Mole, tried regaining her courage enough to be smart with him. "And I need to ask your help, kind of." She added.

"My help? And what makes me think I'd help you?" Snape sneered even more.

"Because, Sir, my friends and I don't intend to stay here forever. We have actual lives, you know!" Mole was allready growing impatient. "Do you think you'd know of any way of sending us back, you know, to the Real world." Snape glared at Mole. "I mean, our world, not neccesarily the real world, but yeah..." She tried.

:"I suppose that I could look into it. Just to get you out of here. But right now, you are to serve your detention. You are to organise my supplies and take inventory." He smirked, knowing he gave her a difficult task.

Mole groaned. "Fine," she said. "But this is starting to sound like some sort of crappy fanfiction."

Snape showed her where the supplies were kept, all the while his robes were all billowy, like in the book. Mole wondered how they did that. There was no wind. They were inside, and there were no windows in the dungeons. When the Potions Professor walked by, she heard a soft humming noise. "What's that humming noise?" Mole asked, obviously.

"What humming noise? I hear nothing!" Snape Snapped.

"No, its pretty loud, actually. Oh man, its coming from you, Sir."

"Ridiculous!" He sounded panicky and defensive. Mole was convinced it was him and tried to tackle him, when a small fan fell to the ground. "Damn!"

"A fan? Why were you keeping a fan with you?" Mole was truly curious.

Snape sighed, defeated. "To keep my robes billowing at all times. How else can I keep up my image of being ominous?"

"Not by keeping a plastic muggle fan on you!" Mole laughed. She laughed hard until she looked up to se the evil Snape looming over her. That shut her up.

"Get to work, Mole!"

On the school grounds, Jilly-O and Loddle on the shore of the lake, looking out at the big ship sitting on the water. "Sooo..." Loddle said. "We're not seriously going on there, are we?" She rolled her eyes as Jilly-O nodded entusiastically. Loddle then pointed out that the paranoid Kakaroff only had the dock to the ship conjured when it was needed. "How will we get aboard?" She asked Jilly-O, somewhat dreading the answer.

"That's a good question," Jilly-O admitted. "Maybe we can get the giant squid to help us. I don't really feel like swimming." Then she started going over the ways to get the squid's attention. All of them, however included going into the lake, which was not an option. It was Loddle, who came up with the winning plan.

"I know!" She shouted. Jilly-O looked at her. "Toast," she said, while pulling a slice of toast out of her pocket. "Remember? The squid likes toast."

Jilly-O gaped at Loddle for a moment. "How?...Why?...You keep toast in your pocket! Were you going to actually eat that?"

"Well, I put it there in the morning, because I had to carry my books to class. Then class started and I forgot about it. It's all cold and pocket lint-covered, so no. I won't eat it... But the squid will!" With that, Loddle tossed her cold buttered toast into the lake, where it landed with a squishy flop sound. Soon, the giant squid of the lake reached a tentacle out of the water and pulled the soggy bread under. "HEY SQUID!" Loddle yelled. The tentacle re-emerged.

Jilly-O took it from there. "Could you maybe carry us over to that ship? Please? We don't want to get wet." The squid then wraped itself around the girls and carried them through the air and onto the deck of the Durmstrang ship. They landed with soft thuds and looked around them. The coast was clear. "Wow, they go to bed pretty early around here," Whispered Jilly-O. Loddle nodded her head in agreement and they went to search for Viktor.

"And a hot Bulgarian for me, too!" Loddle said, to the sky, where she supposed the narration was coming from.

They tiptoed past the captain's quarters, where they were guessing Kakaroff was. And went below deck. It was dark, so they whispered the lumos spell, feeling like they were in the movie or something crazy like that. They searched the ship quite thoroughly, finding first where the girls stayed. They seemed to want to hang out with their favorite book characters, but of course, they were not hot Bulgarian men, so Loddle and Jillly-O kept moving. They soon found the boys' cabin and asked for Viktor.

"Oh, Krum?" Asked one of the boys with a heavy accent. "No 'ee is not in here. 'Ee is Headmasters' favorite, zo 'ee is staying in his own private quarters. Are you vanting me to show you to his room?"

The two girls nodded enthusiastically and Loddle took the boy's arm tightly as he showed them the way. As soon as they had reached Viktor Krum's door, the Bulgarian boy, with much effort, pried Loddle's arm off of him. "Viktor is in here. I must be going."

"Aww, are you sure?" Loddle whined. The boy nodded, but cheered Loddle up with a wink and a cheesy finger point. Then he went back to his room, not wanting the Headmaster to catch him out and about. Jilly-O and Loddle looked at the wooden door in front of them with anicipation. Jilly-O slowly raised her hand to knock, but stoped. Not because she realized that she was being stalkerish, but because there was definately a presence behind her. She and Loddle turned fearfully to find such a terrifying sight in front of them that they nearly lost their lunches...or dinners, and possibly deserts.

The dreadful Kakaroff was looming over them. "You two 'Ogwarts girls are not trying to sabotage our school are you? I thought not. Of course it vould be silly to try anything. We haven't even found out who our competitors are...And the consiquences for meddling, vell, they are just dire." He gave them a sickening smile. Sickening, because of his hideous and nasty teeth. Jilly-O gagged out loud while Loddle's eyes began to water from holding in a retch of her own. "Now lets escort you off of the ship!"

The giant squid, who was happily munching on soggy toast looked up to see two people being thrown off the side of the ship that was annoying in the middle of his lake. And he heard with his little squiddy ears, a loud cry. "CURSES! I'VE BEEN FOILED! CUUUURRRRSEEEEESSSSS!"

Meanwhile, in the dungeons, Mole wasn't having too much luck either. True, she had convinced Professor Snape that detention time would be best used if they worked on finding her a way home, but none of Snape's books had any useful information so far. "Find anyting, Sir?" Mole asked hopefully.

"No."

"Hm, well, maybe a potion isn't the answer them."

Snape sighed in agreement. "Perhaps not. Or else it would be a very complex one." He sounded like he was becoming irritated with the search. Mole decided to lighten the conversation.

"So um, yeah. What kind of fanfiction do you like. And how does it work in the wizarding world."

"Scrolls, how else?" Snape stated obviously. "As for my favorite kind of fanfiction... Well, Mole.." There was somehitng to his tone that sounded like he thought Mole knew where this was going, which she didn't. Or didn't want to.

"Er?"

"Well, it has to do with you..." He smirked. Mole promptly ran from the room screaming.

Severus just sat there, wondering what was so scary about him reading the Mole's Humor genre.


So what did you think? I need feedback. I really do! Is my little suggestive Snape pun too scary? Or even funny? I bet not, but anyways, review!