Yeah so this is a new story, I'm thinking maybe three chapters, we'll see. Uh, okay, so some background.. Dawn is having issues at home, and she's a pretty big junkie. This chapter is basically what's going on with Dawn now, and I know it doesnt seem like she's a junkie yet, but it'll become obvious later, I promise. So alright.
Season 6ish... Tara's moved out and Buffy still has Tara taking Dawn out on weekly "dates"...
I own the story
Joss owns my soul
She couldn't remember how it had begun. She would try sometimes. When she was out of stuff and feeling like shit. She'd sit in her bed and stare at the ceiling, trying to pin point the exact day when life became much more than pink clothes and hot guys. She could remember though, the day when it first became a game. She used to want people to know, to care and to help her. Those days were long gone now. Now it was a game. When Buffy would send her out on those "dates" with Tara, Dawn would try to get Tara to see. She would look at Tara, to get her to see the emptiness in Dawn's eyes, to see the hurt that lived in her. Every time Dawn would even glance at Tara, the blonde would dart her eyes away as fast as she could, and would turn her head. Eventually Dawn gave up. She would go with Tara, and get an ice cream, the two would talk about movies and school and magic, and Dawn would smile, and she's laugh and she'd talk.
It was fun.
To have this secret that Tara knew nothing about. After a while though, it got to the point where Dawn wasn't sure if the secret was worth keeping. She'd sometimes toy with the idea of telling Tara. She would get close, but then Tara would bring up the question Dawn always dreaded to hear. How was Willow doing? Dawn hated that question. How could she answer it? She would try out different answers for Tara. Sometimes she'd say, "oh, she's just great", and Tara would give her a half smile and glassy eyes. Sometimes Dawn would say "well, she's doing okay, but she talks about you a lot", and Tara would actually full on cry. So Dawn got used to saying, "oh, you know" and change the subject. This answer seemed to keep Tara happy, and Dawn didn't have to go through a whole conversation about Willow.
Because truthfully, she couldn't remember who Willow was anymore. Willow was always around sure, but Dawn wasn't. The redhead would often sit in the kitchen and cook for hours on end, or would sit and stare blankly at the television. Dawn would sometimes pass through a room Willow was sitting in, and would smile and say hello, but this often lead to Willow talking, pleading Dawn with her eyes to spend just a couple minutes together. Dawn would take pity on her, and would agree just to make sure the tears didn't fall.
And sometimes it seemed as though it didn't matter how Dawn answered, that just one wrong word would screw over all her plans. Because all Dawn really wanted to do was to leave, and go out to find her boyfriend, and get high and just sit with him, numb but happy.
Those were the times when Dawn was truly happy. When she was numb, and she could just think. When her mind was full, but there was nothing going on up there. She often wondered what her life would be like if she didn't have these times. If she would have to face reality and not able to escape from all the shit going on in her life.
Sometimes her friends would ask her what her issues were. What she was trying to escape from with the drugs, and the drinking, and the smoking, and the sex. What could she tell them though? She used to joke around with herself, to answer when her friends asked that question.
Well let's see, my mother died when I was little, so now all I have is my sister, and her dopey friends. My sister is never around though, she's way too busy slaying all the vampires and demons of the world. My sister's best friend Willow and her lesbian lover Tara have split up, and now the two women I was very close with are complete wrecks. Willow has trouble concentrating and Tara has moved out. The love of my life is a vampire and I'm cheating on my boyfriend with him.
So yeah, Dawn didn't really have many options, she usually went with that her mother was dead, but her friends were getting tired of that one, so she began to make things up. Just so they wouldn't see how pathetic she really was. It was hard to see the problems her friends had, and how easy they would be to fix. But Dawn would just take a hit and would stay quiet, numb and thinking.
