AN: This is what happens when it's three thirty in the morning, and you're still not tired… This chapter is WAY different from the rest… It was coming out to be every chapter kind of pointless little funny things, and I felt like it needed some substance… And also, the only thing that gives me the will to update was waking up yesterday and having six reviews for chapter 15… those who reviewed the quickly, you rock, and I wish there were more people like you! This updating is all for you…
I just realized I said the same thing here twice, but I fixed it… It's good now… And spelling corrected... Thanks
AVAVAVAVAVAVA
I looked down at the pictures in my hand for the first time and took a sharp breath. I quickly turned to the next one, and the next and the next, my breathing growing shallow. Sure, I looked happy in most of them, though Collins made it sound like I was depressed and crying in all of them. My hands started to shake as I held the pictures, not wanting to look, but not being able to take my eyes away.
Collins grabbed my arms. "Angel? What's wrong baby?"
I yanked my arms away violently and continued to flip through the pictures. The guy with his arms around my waist, kissing my neck. We were smiling. Me leaning against the guys chest, kissing the tip of his nose. We're smiling.
"Shit." Me on the couch with the guy on his knees, serenading me. We're smiling. Me and the guy dressed up for Halloween, me as a princess, and him my prince. We're smiling. Me with my back to the guy, him looking like he's trying to plead about something. I'm crying. Me alone with my fingers clutched tightly around my wrist. I'm crying.
"Fuck. She took pictures of all of it." Him with his fingers around my wrist, pulling me in one direction, me struggling in the other. I dropped the pictures seeing that one and stood up sharply. My arms and hands were shaking, and I felt like I was about to vomit.
I doubled over and grabbed my stomach and Collins stood up beside me, taking my arms in his hands, trying to steady me, but I yelled and pulled away again. "Angel? What's wrong?"
I brought my hands to my temple, where people were now yelling at me. Without even looking at him, I could hear what he was doing. "Turn the damn camera off Mark!" And I could hear that he did. I wanted to turn to him and apologize for yelling at him, but I felt five fingers wrap around my wrist and I yelled again, dropping to the floor. "No!" I tried to pull my arm back. "Please stop it!"
Mimi stood up and looked at me. "Angel?" She looked to Joanne. "What's wrong? What's she doing?"
Joanne had the same look of shock on her face. "How should I know? I just saw the same thing you did."
Collins knelt down in front of me. "Baby? Angel, you need to talk to me."
I was now using my free hand to try to pry his fingers off my wrist. When that didn't work, I moved on to hitting him repeatedly in the chest with my free hand, but I wasn't very strong.
Collins placed a hand on my leg, trying to calm me down, but I instantly started crying, throwing all my weight into getting him off me. "No! Bradley, please don't!"
"Bradley?" Collins looked over his should to Mimi, the one who had known me longest in the group, her entire face fell. "Mimi? Who's Bradley?"
Mimi ignored his question. "Collins, get your hands off of her."
"What's going…"
"Just get your hands off of her Collins!" Mimi moved forward and pushed him away. I had been pulled away from him so hard that I fell back once he let go.
Mimi knelt down beside me, but didn't touch me. "Angel. That's not Bradley. That's Collins. He's not going to hurt you."
I brought my hands up to shield my face as she spoke, not really hearing what she was saying. I used my heels to push my self a few steps back. "Go away!" As if someone had just toughed me, I kicked my leg out and stood up, my hands still attempting to cover and protect my face. "Please stop!" My arms continued to shake as if someone was attempting to pull them away from my face, and I yelled once I was backed up against the wall. "Bradley, just go!" I yelled again, but it broke in my throat with a fit of sobs. "Please stop! No!"
"Mimi? What the fuck is going on?" Collins just didn't know what to do.
But again Mimi ignored him and stepped closer to me, just a foot from my face, but again not touching me. "Angel. Bradley's not here. He's gone and he's never going to be able to hurt you again. You need to stop this." She gently took one of my hands in hers, and I pulled away again, screaming. "Angel, bebé, yo estoy aquí. Es todo bueno. Estoy aquí. Es Mimi." She took my hand again, and this time I didn't pull away, and I slowly opened my eyes.
"¿Es ido él?" My words were still broken up in a fit of sobs. I squeezed Mimi's hand, and she lifted the other to the side of my face, with only a slight flinch from me.
"El es ido realmente. It's okay Ang, he's gone. He went away." I suddenly looked around the room and remembered where I was, and instantly fell against Mimi's shoulder, crying.
She rubbed comforting circles on my back as my tears poured. "I'm so… I'm sorry…. It wasn't…" I stood back up and looked frantically around the room. "Collins?"
He came up to me and held out his hand. "I'm here Ang."
I took his hand and pulled away from Mimi, throwing my arms around Collins. "I'm so sorry!"
He softly pulled me toward him. "Shh, Angel. It's okay. You're okay."
I just stood there, for at least five minutes, leaning against Collins for all the support it took me to stand. It was a good while before I pulled away, looking hesitantly up at Collins and took a step back, letting my arms drop to my sides. "I need to go to bed now." I reached my hand behind me, feeling around for Mimi, until I felt her slip her hand into mine.
She slipped her other arm around my waist, and pulled me in the direction on the bedroom. "Come on Ang, I'll get you squared away."
I nodded softly and stopped for a moment to look back down at the pile of pictures on the floor, and then to Collins. My eyes watered up again, and Collins nodded. "I'll get rid of them Angel."
I smiled softly at him. "Thanks." I turned back and walked into my room with Mimi, sitting on the bed as she closed the door behind us.
"Angel, it happed again, huh?"
My eyes must have been sparkling at the amount of tears that were building up. I barely managed to squeak out an 'mmhmm'. "It's just all so real Mimi. I didn't mean it." I looked up at her, wiping my tears away, and attempting to lighten the mood by laughing. "Collins must think I'm crazy huh?"
Mimi looked over her shoulder at me from her spot at my dresser, where she grabbing my flannel pants and a tank top. "Never Angel. Collins wouldn't think that if he knew."
"But he doesn't Mimi. Only you do." She reached her hand out, and pointed to my shirt, flicking her finger up. I took my shirt off and dropped it to the floor as she handed me the tank top, which I slid on.
"Skirt." I did the same with my skirt and she handed me the flannel bottoms. "Well, you know Angel, maybe you should tell him."
I slid up the bottoms and sat back down on my bed. "I can't Mimi. I'm gonna have to go over the whole thing in my head again, and I'll flip out and try to beat him up again."
Mimi slid into the bed beside me and pulled the blankets up over our legs, and we sat there against the pillows. "Well, Angel, I think he needs to know. I can't believe you two have never had that talk before."
"We did, but after he told his side, I changed the subject."
"Angel…?"
"Ya Mimi, I know. I wanted to. But I can't put my self through reliving it. I can't"
"I know Angel." I slid down so that I was lying in the bed, hugging the pillow to my chest as Mimi stroked my head softly. "Angel?"
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "Ya Mimi?"
"Do you want me to tell him?"
I opened my eyes and looked up at her sadly, nodding my head. "Would you?"
"For you Angel, anything."
"I really would, really, I wanna, I just can't... I can't."
I felt myself starting to shake again, but Mimi leaned down and pulled the blankets up over my shoulders and kissed me on the forehead, calming me down again. "I know babe. I know. You get some sleep." She slid out of the bed and fixed the blankets around me. "I'll be back later."
I closed my eyes again. "Thanks Mimi."
"Algo para usted Angel… Anything for you." She closed the door behind her as she walked back into the loving room.
!Outside of Angel's POV!
Roger had a bowl in front of him and he was going through the pictures one by one, burning them into the bowl. He seemed to be enjoying the part he was playing in all this.
Collins looked up when he heard the door open again and stood, his arms crossed over his chest. "What the hell was that Mimi? What just happened?"
Mimi walked over the Roger and picked up one of the pictures that Roger had yet to burn, it was Angel, sitting with her knees tucked up under her chin protectively. She was attempting to smile for the camera, but she had a single tear trickling down her cheek. She took in a deep breath and handed the photo to Roger before looking back to Collins and sliding up on the arm of the chair Roger was sitting in. "The guy in the pictures is Bradley Sanchez. He was Angel's boyfriend for…" Mimi thought about it for a moment. "three years, I think."
"So why was she so afraid of him?" Collins already had an idea of what it was, but he was hoping against all his instincts that he was wrong.
"Well, let me tell the whole story Collins. Can't just jump in at the end." Mimi took another deep breath, preparing to tell the same story Angel had told her four years before. "They had been best friends since third grade, and Angel's parents even loved him, which was probably the only reason they didn't kick Angel out of the house when they found out he was gay, cause they liked her boyfriend so much.
But anyway, they started dating when they were fourteen, and where very happy for all that time. Everyone in her family was oddly accepting of him. Not at all what Angel was expecting of them, but they had never had sex or anything, since Angel had the whole 'find the one' perspective thing on that, and she didn't think you could know when you were that young. So after about two and a half years, maybe a little longer, Bradley started getting distant, and Angel couldn't figure out what had happed to him. Well, after the three years were up, she found out that Bradley had cheated on her, and when she confronted him about it, she also found out that he got AIDS during that cheating session. Being Angel, her pity and urge to help him though this was greater than her anger over the cheating thing. She said she was going to help him, that it would all be okay. But that wasn't what he had in mind for the helping."
Collins yes went wide. "No, no no… Not like that."
Maureen looked from Mimi, who was nodding, to Collins. "I don't get it. What happened?"
Joanne placed a hand over Maureen's. "He raped her?"
Maureen gasped. "No!"
Mimi's eyes were getting cloudy. "Ya. Just like what just happened, that's why she was freaking out before. I talked to her later that very day, and she step by stepped it for me, and did the same thing." Mimi stood up and took Collins hand, standing with him in the middle of the room…
Demonstration time. "She told him she would be there to help him through everything, and he kissed her…" Mimi leaned up close to Collins face. "…but she pulled away. She loved him, but still, with the cheating, she couldn't kiss him anymore. Not like that."
"And he grabbed her arms…" Mimi placed Collins hands over her arms. "…And again she pulled away." Mimi drew her arms back quickly." And when she started to back away, he grabbed her wrist…" Mimi held out her arm, and Collins caught on to what they were doing and grabbed her wrist. "… And she tried to pull her arm back, but he wouldn't let go, just like before."
"And without him letting go of her wrist, she fell to her knees, still pleading with him to stop." Mimi fell to the floor. "And he knelt down in front of her." Collins did. "And placed a hand on her thigh." Collins did. "And she tried to push him away." Mimi leaned toward Collins, pressing her free hand into his chest, pretending to try to push him away. He stood off just a bit, but then he grabbed her thigh again, and she jolted and kicked him."
Mimi pulled her hand free and fell back, from her knees to her bottom, and she used her heels to take a few steps back before standing up. "See? Just like Angel did before." She lifted her hands up to her face and motioned for Collins to stand up too.
"She continued to try to get him to back away." Mimi kept her arms up and took a few steps back to the wall until she was against it. She motioned for Collins to step closer to her, which he did. Once he was right in front of Mimi, she took his hands and held her arms up over her head, with Collins pinning hers to the wall.
Mimi let out a sigh. "And there you have it."
Collins took a step back and let Mimi's arms fall to her side. "Shit… no." Nobody knew what to say. This was all so… This kind of stuff didn't happen to Angel. Collins looked desperately to Mimi. "So told you all that the same day?"
Mimi nodded. "When she was trying to figure out if she should call the cops or not."
His eyes went wide. "She did right?"
A sad smile spread across Mimi's lips. "No. She never did."
"And why the fuck not?" Collins was furious about this, and he felt that he had good right to be.
"She said the only reason he did it was because he was depressed about the disease, and jail would make that worse on him."
Collins 'pffed' out a hiss of hot air. "Why the hell should that matter! He deserves to rotting in jail. Why did she care?"
"Because she's Angel." It was odd that that simple sentence really did explain it.
Maureen bit her bottom lip. "So much for waiting for the right person huh?"
Joanne hit her on the arm. "Jesus Maureen!"
"What! I didn't mean it in an insensitive way. I'm just saying."
Mimi gave Collins a comforting smile. "She still did, with her free will I mean."
Collins gave her an odd look. "Did what?"
"Waited for you."
Collins just didn't know what to say. He got AIDS from sleeping with every guy in his freshman class. Angel was ripped apart by someone who she loved. He brushed a hand over his face, trying to wake him self up. "I should… ya, okay." He walked over to the bedroom door and opened it softly, stepping in and closing it again.
He stepped to the side of the bed and coughed softly. "Angel?"
!ANGEL'S POV!
I opened my eyes and smiled up at Collins. "Hey baby." I sat up just a bit, supporting myself with my elbow. "Mimi told you?"
He nodded slowly. "Ya… Is it okay if I lay down with you?" I slid over in the bed, allowing just enough room for him to slide in beside me. He seemed afraid to touch me at the moment, thinking I was going to go off on him again or something, so I made the first move and snuggled up against him, laying my head on his chest. I could feel him let out the sigh of relief he was holding in as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders, pulling me closer to him and kissing the top of my head. "I'm so sorry Angel."
My body tensed up again, and Collins turned over on his side to face me, still holding me close to him. "Why didn't you ever call the cops?"
My body stayed tense. "He needed help. If he had gone to jail, who would have helped him?"
Collins ran his hand over my arm and I calmed back down, melting against him. In his mind, he was thinking that if he went to jail, he would have been raped too, and that was what Collins thought he deserved, but he would never say that to Angel. "Why are you such a good person?" He kissed me softly, again trying not to push me.
"It seems better than wishing death and pain on everyone who has ever hurt me." I leaned up and kissed him harder, trying to get his to drop this guard he had up around me at the moment. "I'm okay Collins, really. I have you now, and I'm okay."
Collins laughed softly. "I hear I'm your special someone."
I gave him a mock glare. "Ya well…" I couldn't think of something clever to say to that. He was my special someone and no witty banter would make that any different. "I'm okay with that."
"You not one of those people that's only with one person and then gets curious too see how other people are different?" He raised an eyebrow at me, knowing the answer already, but giving me a challenging glare all the same.
I pretended to look shocked. "Are you telling me there is someone better?" I sat up in bed. "God, if I knew that I wouldn't be wasting my time with you!" I pulled the blankets off and began getting out of bed. "Just point the way."
Collins pulled me back to him. "Hey! I didn't say that! I just said wondering." We both started laughing, curled into a heap in the middle of the bed. I kissed him again, and this time he dropped his protective bubble and kissed me back, pulling me toward him.
It was a few minutes before I pulled away and just looked at him. "But really Collins. I'm fine. I have you and I'm good and I'll be okay."
He kissed the top of my head. "I know. You always are." We rested back down on the bed, my head against his chest, his arm around my shoulders.
We had just closed our eyes when the smoke alarm went off and there was a crash.
beep
"Shit!"
beep
"Put it out!"
beep
"With what?"
beep
"Step on it!"
beep
"I'll ruin my shoes!"
beep
"Have Joanne do it. Her shoes are boots."
beep
stomp stomp stomp
beep
"Wow Roger, you're really a wuss."
beep
"Just stop the damn beeping!"
Collins and I looked at each other and sighed.
beep
The door opened and Mark poked his head in. "Umm guys? I think we ruined a few of your throw pillows." be.. CRASH THUD.. Mark winced as the beeping stopped. ("See? I'm not a wuss. I got the beeping to go away.") Mark smiled sheepishly at us. "And I think you may need a new smoke detector too."
