ChApTer 3

"Sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down

will be the ones to help you get back up."

In the dead of the night, there she was lying on her bed, (actually not 'her bed' because she's staying with the rest of her gang in someone else's house but technically in one way or another it was 'her bed' for she was the one currently occupying it,) Her disheveled form shown by the moonlight alone. Her face, she covered with a pillow, trying hard to stifle whatever sound she was making, but was too dreadful to notice that it wasn't enough to cover up. Her shoulders were trembling and it felt like she has shed the last of her tears. 'Crying' is not a very healthy habit, unless of course you're a baby and don't have any choice. But for this girl it was her way of comforting herself. She doesn't want to always depend on her friends, they've already have done much and is already miserable enough on their own without her clinging on them, (like for example Miyu. Everybody knows her family story, how she once led a pack of brats and how desperate she to have he first kiss. Ran also has her share of problems, namely allowance, food, allowance, homework, food and the most dreadful of all…food.)

She just received a message. Something she ought to be happy of. But after pondering on some thoughts, she realized things she needs to sacrifice in turn of the opportunity. She was disappointed, well, partially. It was her life long dream, of course, but she never thought it'd have to take something away from her. She doesn't want to, not now that she's finding more and more of herself with them. But it was her only chance, the opportunity she'd been dying for all her life.

Preoccupied in her own world, Aya had not notice a quiet figure move towards her. And within moments, his tall and lean shadow was cast above her. She had felt him move closer and place a hand on her pillow. He gently pulled it away from her to reveal her miserable self to him and that was the only time she'd notice him.

Aya felt a rush of cold air touch her damp face and knew that someone was standing beside her. She jolted up as quickly as she could and tried hard to fix herself. Someone seeing her as miserable as this was the very last thing she wanted, especially when that someone is the one she least expects to find there standing before her.

She wiped her tears with the back of her hand and tried to put on a faint smile. Her head felt heavy but managed to pull herself to sat up. " R-Rei…? What are you doing here…?" she stuttered, as she looks at figure of a man shown with the little light of the moon outside.

Rei barely moved or even tried to answer her. He himself doesn't understand why on earth was he standing on her bedside, late at night, staring at her cooper colored eyes.

He found himself quickly getting lost in those watery copper orbs. He felt strange, strange enough to be a mystery. It was like he doesn't want to take his own gaze away from them and venture deeper. But that wouldn't happen, as the girl in front of him averted her eyes and started to look down as if finding more interest with her pillow than anything else.

Realizing his own actions, Rei mentally slapped himself and felt uneasy all of a sudden. Aya, too, was feeling this uneasiness. She doesn't want him to find her like this. Feeling his eyes on her was like standing in the middle of an angry crowd and trying to explain innocence. Again, she wiped the remaining tears from her eyes to try and conceal how horrible she was.

"Naze da…?(why…?)" Rei whispered more like to himself, but was equally surprise as the girl near him that he'd said it to loud for her to shook her head vigorously and look up to him.

"Betsu ni…Betsu ni, nani mo… (It's nothing… There's nothing wrong…)" Aya whispered back and tried to give Rei a smile but only managed a faint, sad one.

Rei raised a brow at her response. 'I wasn't born yesterday… Don't play dumb with me. I'm not stupid.' he answered sarcastically in the back of his head as he stared down at her and wanted to put in words and make her understand but all thoughts flew out of his mind as he gazed down at her faint smile. He slightly shook his head and decided against it in turn he sat on her bed beside her.

Aya gave him a perplexed look and he returned it with an unfathomable stare. For a while they were both reading each other's eyes, as if words aren't known and eye communication have always been the thing. It was silent in the room and Rei was becoming more and more confused and frustrated that he'd allowed that annoying side to talk him to this one.

'She said it's nothing, already… Can I go now?' Rei asked himself and found no answer. It only made him realize that no one indeed forced him to be there but his half-wit, annoying side, which by the way, can't do anything on him in case he doesn't obey. He grew more confused and wanted more to be anywhere but there. 'Why on earth am I here for anyway…?' Instincts were telling him to start dragging himself out of this room and spent the rest of the night else where but try as he might he just couldn't move from her gaze.

Rei took out a sigh, wishing he never agreed on this. He took out a sigh, wishing he'd ignored his thoughts and focused more on visiting dreamland. He took out a sigh, wishing he knew what he was wishing for. He took out a sigh, wishing he could simply walk off.

'Hell, I could do whatever I want…right here and right now but what's taking me too long?' another question escaped his mind and he heave another perplexed sigh out.

But all his wishes were washed off when he noticed the pair of eyes that has been staring at him after all this time. The copper orbs that was looking at him with equal confusion was now looking at him with sadness second to nothing. Her eyes were starting to get all teary again, albeit she was doing her best to stop them from falling. The threat of them bursting out again was growing so strong that she wish no more than to disappear right then and there and stop herself from, if not completely from crying, at least from crying in front of him.

Rei didn't know what to do. He hadn't wished to watch her cry. In fact, he thinks that he'd finally agreed with his annoying part when it told him it was the last thing he wanted to see tonight. He was feeling that weird heart constricting feeling again which is clearly known and understood that has nothing to do with heart diseases.

And with a slight move of his hand, and a clouded mind controlling him, he did the only thing he could think of. He reached for her tear covered eye and tried to wipe it away. But surprisingly enough more fell on his actions. And just when he thought nothing could get any more confusing, Aya threw herself to him and gave him a sad hug.

Her hands were resting on his chest tightly gripping his shirt. Her head, as well, was buried on his broad upper body. He couldn't see her face but he knew he was crying like mad. Her shoulders were trembling once again with every sob she gave. This was it. There was no turning back. She knew that after this night everything would change. All her hopes of hiding this feeling had just gone up to smoke.

Rei was caught off-guard by the moment. He felt himself tensed up by the sudden contact. It was now vivid more than ever that calling what he feels 'confusion' is putting it mildly. His heart beating fast and all thoughts running havoc. He didn't know what to do. He didn't know what to say… But a part of him does.

Without knowing, what he was doing. It felt like someone else was controlling him. He could have just be himself and leave right then and there …but no, he rather stayed and now he was wrapping his arms protectively around her. One on the little of her back and another on top of her hair, gently running them along the strands of her locks in a comforting manner.

She felt so soft, so gentle, so weak, and so fragile. Like a single wrong stroke will be enough to break her. Rei doesn't know she felt like this, he'd never held her like this before. Having his arms protectively around her felt like he doesn't want the night to end. It was like he'd been wishing for the moment all his life. He found himself gradually relaxing and for once shoves all the thoughts that crossed his mind. He slowly closed his eyes and let the feeling fill him even just tonight.

If he was in his right state of mind, he would have panic in his own actions and say 'I'm not in my right state of mind.', but unfortunately he wasn't in his right state of mind and is currently drowned in a new emotion he find so bizarre. It was completely new and different for him to be gentle and act around someone like this. Is it possible then that someone had finally lowered his defenses and broke his ice …?

Aya had her own confusions to settle but once she felt Rei's soothing arms around her, she felt like she doesn't want to question anything anymore. She found herself melting in his touch and she let herself get drowned with the feeling. It wasn't like everyday he'd hold her like this. She knew that only in her dreams would he do it, but at this point reality was just like the bliss dreams are. She never thought someone could make her feel that way. Though she knew that he could never return her feeling for him, this was more than enough for her fantasies.

Aya was still crying, and by now she was probably wetting half of his garment. Realizing that once she decided to follow her dreams, this'll be the last time she'd be able to hold him. And as this simple realization sink deeper into her in only broke her heart, put it back together, break it again, put it back together and break again. And each time her heart breaks the pain was doubled. This was to much for her fragile heart to contain. And as she enters the world of dreams, still cuddled in his arms, it was still the thing she had in mind and brought tears to her even with her eyes shut tight.

Rei felt her grip relax and opened his eyes. He wasn't visiting dreamland still even if he gravely wants to but instead he was thinking of this hazy things happening with him. He opened his eyes and found the lass still buried, cuddled beside him. Her face was gentle and tear-stained and even if she drifted to sleep, tears were still falling down from her closed eyes.

'She looks so angelic' Rei thought and mentally slaps himself for thinking such and decided to think otherwise. 'I'm losing my cool' he grumbled instead and took out a sigh.

He looked back on the girl beside him and gently caresses her tears away. He laid her down in her bed and tucked her in for the night. He was about to pull off when he heard her whisper his name. Rei looked at her with a gaze of mysteriously unreadable emotion and as mysterious as the gaze of mysteriously unreadable emotion, Rei gave her a gentle smile and whispered back "I'm here…" And if you think this can't get any mysterious, Rei unknowingly planted his lips gently on her in a quick kiss.

He stared at her for a moment before realization occurred to him and he slaps himself for what he has done. He stared at her unbelievingly as if she wasn't supposed to be there and finally told himself that he wasn't supposed to be there. Rei can't believe everything that had dawned to him that night and his life was more and more foggy than it already is. Thinking that everything is just because of his restless night, he quickly as quickly as it happened dismissed the thought and went to his own room.

Try as he might to dismiss all thought, one remained playing in his mind, as he settled for the night and stared at the ceiling above him, Rei can't help but wonder… "Am I getting soft?"