Chapter 13 - What A Knight Is Forged Of
Mike sat next to Cole in the load area, trying to steady his head as best as possible. He whispered calming words to the unconscious teen for Cole and himself as well. "Cole, you have to make it, please hold on. The Ranch isn't far anymore. Wade will stitch you up and you're gonna be ok. Do you hear me? You have to hold on for me, please." Mike wasn't able to speak the other words out loud he had in mind.
The first time he had thought about it had been in Fort William when they were sent to get some supplies. They had met Ella on the street. She never missed talking to others. The red-haired woman had taken Cole into a warm embrace patting him playfully on his cheek. 'Sweetheart, how are you? Hope you and the Lady of your heart found a way to each other? And this handsome man has to be your father, am I right?' Cole had laughed and denied it, even had told her his father was a drunk, not such an honorable man as Mike. It was the event that had triggered his brooding during the last months.
He had watched Cole closely. He couldn't deny that Cole had the same bright blue eyes, but many others had blue eyes. But there were other things, only little hints here and there. Like a gesture, or the way the boy used to change the position of his glass to the left side of the plate before he started to eat. When Cole had hurt his hand while training Mike had bandaged his hand, noticing his fingers looked exactly like his own. At some point, they were too many to call it coincidence but still - he had no proof. Only the memory of that one night with Diana Wilmington.
After counting back Mike got even more convinced. Cole Tanner was probably his son. He had a son! A son, he loved fiercely and because he loved him he had to make it. He would not accept losing his son before he had the chance to tell him.
Wade reined the horses into the yard of the Wilmington Ranch half an hour later. "I'll go and get Bastian to help us. How is he doing?"
"He is still holding up."
Wade hadn't time to leave the driver's seat as The Scholar, Daniel and Samuel came out of the house. "Wade, Mike, what happened?"
"Cole has a bad head wound, help us bring him inside." Bastian took the two rods at one side and Mike at the other. "Careful, Bastian. And up."
*** The Wild West Triad - prequel ***
Wade had to catch a breath before he felt able to follow the others inside. He hoped he would be able to help Cole. He was thankful that he had started studying medicine in Connecticut after his sister had died. It had saved them more than once. He was no doctor but still not totally inexperienced. A brain injury was a serious thing. He was scared.
Bastian was about to prepare everything. First Wade washed his hands. Mike and Sam placed Cole carefully on the dining table, bringing him on his side so that Wade would be able to care for the wound. Mike's blue wild rag was already soaked through with blood. It wasn't uncommon that head wounds bled profusely. But still. - there was no guarantee if Cole would be the same when he woke - if he even woke.
Mike brought a bowl with hot water to the table, followed by Daniel with some towels. His son looked scared. No wonder. He had never seen such a heavy bleeding wound and definitely not on the head from his cousin, who was more like his brother. Mike seemed calm again but remained silent while cleaning the edges of the cut.
Cole's body began to jerk uncontrollably and Mike stopped cleaning instantly, trying to hold Cole still.
"He has a seizure. Watch out that he doesn't fall off the table." They had to watch the horrible picture of Cole's body under full tension. He pressed his jaw close together and jerked on the table like a caught fish on land.
"Dad? What is wrong with him," Daniel asked scared.
"That happens sometimes after head injuries, we have to wait until it is over. Try to keep calm. It will not help him when we freak out right now." Daniel said nothing more but his father saw the tears in his son's eyes and how he bit on his lower lip to keep him from talking from his mind.
It couldn't have been more than a few seconds until Cole's body relaxed again and lay completely still, the only movement was his breathing.
"Ok, we have to stop the bleeding quickly. Wade concentrated on the injury, trying to blend out everything else. The others stood guard prepared to help, should Cole throw a fit again.
The cut was about four inches long. Wade looked closely to not miss something that could cause an infection. He picked some small stones and hay from the wound and cleaned it again. "Give me the scissors, we need to cut his hair." Wade cut Cole's hair short around the cut, cleaning it again. "The forceps." Wordless The Scholar assisted Wade. The tension in the room was hard to endure.
Wade had found more small stones he had to remove before he closed the cut. "Now we can only pray."
*** The Wild West Triad - prequel ***
Slurred words slowly getting clearer sneaked into Cole's consciousness. "... I know about that possibility, I raised the boy, don't forget that. But this is definitely the wrong time to tell him …"
Mike's voice answered but sounded concerned and exhausted. "I know and I will not say a word about it, not yet. First of all, he has to wake up. I don't even know how to explain what happened in the barn to him. If his head is not broken, his heart will be broken for sure. We both know how it is to lose someone you've loved." Mike whispered suppressed.
"You can't compare this with Clara's or Diana's death," Wade's voice told him angrily.
"Indeed I can, love is love. You can't deny that," Mike answered louder, giving more emphasis to his words.
Every word he tried to catch seemed far away and still too loud. His head felt like it would explode should he move only an inch. Where was he? What had happened?
He opened his eyes a crack wide only to squeeze them shut again. The dim light in the room hurt his eyes like looking into the bright midday sun. His uncle or Mike would tell him what was wrong. Cole wanted to call out for them but it was so hard to form a word not to say only a single syllable. He tried it really hard. "Wa-de?" Cole heard his broken voice call out for his uncle like he was a baby.
Steps.
A calming hand.
"Cole, can you hear me? Just give me a sign that your brain is still working."
"Wha' happen'?"
Cole already thought he had lost the ability to hear until he fought hard enough to open his eyes to slits again and saw Wade looking desperately to Mike, searching for the right words.
Mike appeared in front of his vision which blurred instantly. The room was spinning. "Sick," was all he managed to say before he threw up. The others were obviously prepared and had shoved him a bowl under his chin.
"Easy, buddy. It will get better soon. You got some pretty bad hits on this head of yours. Drink something and rest, we talk later." Mike patted his shoulder much smoother than usual. The Knight was acting strange. Something has to be very wrong with him. If he only could remember. But it was hard to think straight, Cole just wanted to crawl into a ball and sleep.
*** The Wild West Triad - Prequel ***
The next time he woke he was alone in his room. The sun was already on the rise. He couldn't tell if it were hours or days he had been lying here. Grunting out in pain which rushed through his skull with every movement, Cole moved his feet off the edge of the bed. The movement was not a big one. The many cushions in his back had him be sleepin in a nearly sitting position anyway. It was still enough to feel sick again. Tanner tried to bring the feeling of nausea under control. A few minutes he had to sit unmovingly.
After fighting down the urge to throw up again, he felt other parts of his body hurting - like his throat. Why did his throat hurt so badly? He fumbled for his larynx. The slightest touch let pain rush through his body and brought pictures to life before his mind's eye. It showed him things he didn't understand.
Aaron's face kept appearing in front of him, evil grinning.
Cole rubbed his eyes, brushing over his chin - beard stubbles. Ok, not hours but at least two days, that much was sure. Slowly, very slowly he got up and made it to the wash table where a mirror was. The young man studied his reflection. Dark spots covered his neck. He touched them. Again pictures flashed into his consciousness.
A fight with Aaron.
Aaron with Carolyn in his arms. Something was telling Cole, this wasn't Aaron.
Carolyn - calling out for him.
Aaron violently ripped Carolyn's head to the side.
A cracking noise.
Cole fell to his knees, sweeping off the mirror from the wash table while trying to hold on to something. The mirror ended up on the ground, bursting into pieces. The sound mixed with his scream. "Carolyn!" He didn't want to remember but he did, so detailed he wished he never had seen or heard it. "NO!" Coughing heavily, Cole dry heaved to the floor only getting bile out.
*** The Wild West Triad - Prequel ***
Mike was startled by a splintering noise and shouts from Cole's room. He had only gone to his room briefly to put on a fresh shirt. His body had demanded the price now for long nights in worries and bed vigils at Cole's side over the last few days. He had slumped down to his chair, exhaustedly crying. He must have fallen asleep there.
Rushing into Cole's room, his heart sped up in fear, afraid of what he would find inside. Cole kneeled on hands and knees on the ground, desperately ringing for air in the middle of shards and bile.
"Cole, easy, buddy. I'm sorry I fell asleep. You shouldn't get up alone. You could have called out for me." Mike tried to steady him while Trying to steer him around the mess on the floor. Thank God, it was not a seizure this time.
When they sat on Cole's bed again the teen croaked the question Mike didn't want to answer.
"Where is she?" Cole looked into The Knight's eyes with his ice-blue gaze, searching for an answer.
"Cole," Mike searched for the right words. Did he remember? He didn't find the right words. There were never right words for telling someone his love was dead.
"Mike? Where is Carolyn?" Cole pushed him to tell.
"I'm so sorry, Cole. There was nothing we could have done. By the time we entered the barn, you were the only one still breathing except the Shifter." Mike watched Cole getting silent staring at his blanket. God, he was so sorry. What was he supposed to say? He was now sure Cole remembered. How much did he remember? How much had he witnessed? Mike had prepared the bodies for the funeral. He had seen the signs of Carolyn's suffering. She had not only been beaten up badly but raped. He couldn't even imagine how Cole would feel, realizing that he hadn't been able to save his love.
"Lea' me 'lone."
He tried to touch Cole's arm but he jerked it away.
"Cole. Please don't do this. Don't shut us out," Mike pleaded.
"Just go!" Cole screamed, fighting for control of his voice.
Mike left the room feeling like he had made it worse. He had no idea what would make this situation better or what to say to Cole. Maybe some space would help him to understand what had happened. Wade was better at this; he knew Cole like his own son. Mike felt devastated, he should have been there earlier. At the barn, with Cole, with Diana. He had let everyone down. Useless - that he felt - useless to prevent bad things from happening to his family.
*** The Wild West Triad - prequel ***
Wade checked on Cole not long after Mike left. They all tried to talk to Cole but he refused to talk. They had no chance other than giving Cole his space to grief, only bringing him something to eat and looking for his injury but every time with the silent offer to be there for him if he felt like talking. The only one who didn't try to visit him again was Mike.
Cole had no strength to care about the others' problems right now. If Mike was pissed about his words - so be it. It didn't matter. He felt dead and something which felt like a hole in his heart was hurting him every day more.
The worst was when Aaron appeared in his room. Cole couldn't look into his friend's eyes. The memory of how the Aaron-looking Shifter had killed Carolyn always flashed to his mind's eye. Though he knew it hadn't been Aaron, he'd looked exactly like him. What hell had Carolyn gone through - raped by someone who looked like her own brother. It hurt even to think about it.
And Cole hadn't been able to save anybody. He felt useless and ashamed under Aaron's pitying gaze. The teen had lost his whole family in one day, even had to watch the horror partwise. But his friend stayed until Cole felt the need to say something. "How are you holding up?"
"'m trying not to think about it," was all he said.
Tanner did not ask if it was working, he knew it didn't. "I'm so sorry Aaron. I wish I could have done something to stop him. If I had ..."
Aaron held his hand up to stop him. "I know. I'm thinking about all of this too. I should have searched for Carolyn at home longer. Maybe I could have done something. But I ran like a little scared boy. I'm so sorry too. I know, you've loved my sister deeply."
They said nothing for a while. Cole tried to fight down the tears that came up.
"I'm going back east. I have an aunt in New York. I'm leaving tomorrow," Aaron said, also barely holding it together.
Nodding Cole offered him his hand for goodbye but Aaron hugged him firm and short. "Farewell, my friend. You are not responsible for this, don't forget that."
Before Cole could answer his friend was up and hurried to leave the room.
He knew Aaron was right, but still - he felt guilty.
*** The Wild West Triad - Prequel ***
The Knight chose later that day and took a seat on the chair next to the bed. "Hey, how is your head?"
Cole shrugged his shoulders not looking up.
"I have something for you. Here." Cole turned his head carefully, to not worsen the headache he had still. Mike held out the Tiger Eye pendant, Cole had gifted Carolyn. "I thought you wanted to keep it."
He knew they had already burned the bodies. Cole hadn't been able to join them at the funeral with his head injury. Even now, a week after that devastating night, he felt dizzy when he changed positions. Cole took it from Mike, with an even more aching heart. "Thank you. You thought right." He couldn't hold back the tears but averted his face from his mentor.
Mike nodded in understanding but stayed. Not giving Cole the chance to fall apart completely. He waited until Cole had himself under control again.
Cole realized the change in his behavior. Not careful anymore to say something Cole could upset, no, Mike had transformed - now The Knight sat at his bedside like a leader talking to his soldier, "There is something else I wanted to talk about. We decided this a while before. We want you to be the next Knight. Think you already figured that out."
It was not a complete shock. Cole had thought about the possibility that the Triad came to train them because they wanted them to be their successors. Though to hear it from Mike turned into being cast-iron. But right now he didn't feel like he could be a hunter any time soon. Let alone the future Knight. "Why would you decide for me, I'm useless."
"You have every attribute which is needed for a Knight. Trust me."
Mike waited to see if Cole was still listening before he spoke on. "You are not useless. As a Knight, you have a first priority on your list - to protect your Guardian. I saw you already protecting him fiercely. It is in your being. One can not be trained to be a Knight, he is what he is from the first breath he takes. But he needs to be forged like the metal of a good sword. First of all, you have the iron. Iron is a good thing. You can use it to kill, use it to protect. But steel is different. You need iron to create it but you have to meld the iron first, mix it with special ingredients that give the iron the right skills, then it has to be shaped with patience and precision. It is tortured by a hammer during the process and when it is finally brought in a good shape it gets shocked. That is the important moment. It will come forth wether still too soft, sometimes bend, sometimes even broken, or to be the perfect weapon. Sharper, stronger, deadlier. To protect. To kill. To fight."
Cole saw the similarity. "You are telling me every Knight has to go through the fire, be molten and has the choice to fall apart or to be stronger, in the end, to do his duty and try to save people from harm?"
"Yes, Cole. I'm sure you will find a way out of this hellfire you are going through right now. Your forging process is not finished now, but I strongly believe you can survive this because you are strong and you are not alone. We're all here for you."
Tanner thought for a moment, he was afraid about what Mike would answer him, but he had to be sure. "Mike, will Daniel be my Guardian?"
"It is his destiny."
"And when I'm not able to protect him?" Cole couldn't imagine a scenario like that. Not right now and not in the future. Even if they would not be Guardian and Knight, he would give his life to protect his family. But he already had failed Carolyn. Cole felt not ready to be responsible for anyone's safety.
Mike spoke like he had read his thoughts. "I know you would die trying to protect him and that is all that can be asked of you. Don't fear the future, and don't let the past reign your heart." Mike gave him a faint smile. "Alright, I leave you alone to think about all I've said." Mike nodded shortly and got up from the chair. "Try to find some sleep. You still need a lot of rest."
TBC
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