Mamihlapinatapai
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, or the Fuegian language, or even the book I learned the freakishly long and wierd word from. (That was my ex's.. 'xD)
"Mamihlapinatapai"- Fuegian for "looking at each other hoping either will offer to do something which both parties desire but are unwilling to do". XD Hooray for impossibly long words! Like hippopotomonstrasesquipedaliophobia! (The fear of long words.. ^^ )
This title is WAY too long to write a giant novel-length fic out of, so let's just make it a one-shot, okay?
The Point-of-View here changes often. Italics are the female character; bold is the male. Normal font is third-person. Apologies if the female parts are hard to read for anyone, but it was the easiest way I could find to distinguish.
Here I am, alone again. And why? It's my fault.. Everything is my fault.. I should have run. I should have spread my wings when I had the chance, and flown from this place..
With him..
But no. That would be the Dragon's way of thinking.. Only my soul is a Dragon.. My mind is horribly human. Every last thought of it. And no matter how much I know I'm doing it, even WHILE I'm doing it, I will always think like every other close-minded narrow-sighted human in this world.. Even if we know we're wrong, or we know someone else knows better, we will always be stubborn. We will never listen. That would be too close to being unbiased and peaceful..
I laugh in self pity. That's the reason I'm here, right? I look different.. Therefore I must BE different.. I am. I know that. But why do I need to be locked away like a prisoner for it? I just need protection. Not isolation. I need someone who could hold me. Who could protect me from all the evil. I sigh. Someone like Seto..
In all my life, he was the first man ever to show me such kindness.. But then he left me here. Why doesn't he return? Save me again, like he did before? I'm falling in love. I know I am.. But then.. Why do I keep wondering if I should have run?
What does it matter. I'll probably never have that chance again.. I'll sit here rotting, waiting for Seto.. If dreams are still worth keeping, I can imagine he may still come back for me.. Take me under his wings, and keep me forever. I could act as his servant to the public eye, and be his lover behind closed doors. It's not uncommon, really. People might even begin to accept me then. Though the idea of looking down upon anyone in the first place, much less making them a slave, just because they look different is ridiculous.. Who knows? Maybe someday people might realize that..
Tears start falling. Why me? Why am I here, lost and torn? Holding empty promises, and wishing for hopeless dreams? Dear Re-... No. Hathor. Re is just the light. I have no light here.. I do still have a heart. And I am still a woman. Isis. Nephthys. Hathor. Help me..
-
Holy shit! When did those bastard guards becomealert? Surveying the area from my hiding place between the pillars, I wait until it quiets down. It seems they're gone. For now.. But they'll be on the look out now that they know I'm here.. Damn. WHY did I even come? I already know what will happen..
I didn't think I'd get the oppurtunity to come back here. But I've been... dammit.. worried. Ha! The cold, heartless, bastard King of Thieves himself! Bother to worry! And why? Over a GIRL! A stupid, insignificant, worthless little girl!
Oh! Here's that shaft. Down we go.. -Thump- That's better.
I sigh. I know it's not true.. She's far from insignificant.. She is valuable beyond imagining to all who have realized her truth. But.. more.. In reality, she's not much different than me. She's alone. As am I. A spirit passes by, causing a cold grin to cover my scarred face. Well.. ALMOST alone.. I do have the spirits of my people, the cold and haunting companions they may be... But not her..
Her own people tossed her out. She is an outcast. As was I after those bastards destroyed my home. I didn't ask to be born there. Didn't ask to be taught every trick a thief could need! It just happened. When the Pharaoh discovers his destiny is to control the three chosen gods, everyone cheers! But when a poverty-stricken orphan discovers his destiny is to survive by being a successful tomb robber, no! Let's throw rocks at him.. Bloody idiots.
I smile slightly. Bloody might actually be a good look for them.
Here! Finally, I found the dungeon entrance again. I sigh, both anxious and angry. Will she even remember me?
-
Hm? What's that noise? I listen. ... Footsteps? I want to cry out, ask who's coming. But I have to stay quiet. I must behave.
"Hello.." That voice! I look up into piercing gray-violet eyes, vibrant even in this poor light. That grin.. It frightens me, yet.. it's nice to see any smiling face. "What's the matter? You don't remember your King?"
"You're not the pharaoh.." I mumble. I want so much to look away, but those eyes.. They hold me..
He blinks. "Hmf. Pharaoh?" His grin becomes that much more malicious. "In case you didn't realize it, dear, you're a commoner. That means you're one of mypeople; you answer to me."
"I-.." I'm NOT a commoner.. I'm not ANYTHING to THESE people, but I'm still no commoner! Why can't I say this to him though? It should be such an easy thought.. But.. I stand and face him, mocking whatever bravery I can muster. "What do you want?"
"Exactly what I wanted before, O Dragon Keeper." He moves closer. He's now right outside my cell. "I want you to come with me. I want you to help me. With the power you possess, we could crush the Pharaoh. We could crush ALL those who mistreated you and put you here. Who burned my village and destroyed my future.. And who made us outcasts.. We could make the world a better place."
This is so much to take in.. I want to scream he's lying.. But he's right.. I know he is.. I don't have anything against the new pharaoh. Not yet.. But he is young. Royalty will always be corrupted in the end. Who could say he wouldn't do something just as reckless as Kul Elna? With the Thief...
He's demented. It's that simple. But he can't go much crazier, at least. And he's no ordinary pickpocket. He is the King of Thieves. He knows thepressuresof royal life, without the luxuries of slaves and wealth. He could make decisions to benefit everyone.. He would keep the lower class in mind.. He would make a good pharaoh. He really would. Or if I'm wrong.. The only other path would be to destroy us all. Perhaps.. I don't know how I can think this! But perhaps rebirth would do the world good as well...
And I could help.. With the Dragon.. We could put him on a throne. With our power, we might even be able to keep him in line. Be the power behind the King.
... I could be a queen..
I shake it off, finally able to look down.. Kings and queens are married.. And marriage, at least in our rankings, means love. I can't love him.. I love Seto.. ... Don't I?
That would be another thing. The Pharaoh. His court. The soldiers and civilians. All those would be nothing.. But.. I couldn't hurt Seto..
"Well?" He looks down into my eyes as he tilts my chin up. His smile, though still evil, seems to hold a compassionate quality. I MUST be imagining it.. Almost... loving? This can't be happening.. Am I falling in love with him, too?
-
"What say you, Dragoness?" Oh perfect.. My heart is racing.. Damn these remnants of feelings. I have to stay calm.. She can't see me nervous. It causes doubt. I can't have her doubting me now. Not with such stakes on the line.
"I can't.." Her eyes seem near tears. Poor girl.. And such beautiful sapph- Fuck me! Stop pretending you have a heart, Thief King! I have to focus!
"Why not? Don't you want to be free?" I smirk. Playing with people's emotions and taunting them with their desires.. It's such an powerful tool when used well.. Surely this thought could convince her.
She seems to hesitate, confusion only emphasizing herbeauty. "I do.. But.." Oh? Now what's this? "I don't want people hurt.." My guile both in nature and expression fades watching that firsttear run down her cheek.. I move the hand cupping her face back some to wipe it away with my thumb. I should be pissed. I am to some extent. I know what she meant.. 'People' have nothing to do with it.. It's that damn priest.. She loves him.
Fuck.
But I somehow can't be completely angry. All that matters right now is she's here. With me.. Gods dammit. Maybe I do have a heart..
"It's all right.." I tell her, surprised myself at how much lighter my voice is. I find my other hand pulling hergorgeouspale blue-silver hair away from her face to tuck behind her ear, then pulling her closer until the only thing between us is the bars of her accursèd cell.. I hesitate a moment. "So you will stay?"
-
What! Oh.. Why must he ask me that? I don't want to stay here.. Or-.. I don't want to unless Seto will come.. But he won't.. I know he won't.. No matter how much I hope, or how much I dream. No matter how long I wait.
So much, I wish I weren't human. Were I an animal, I'd leave without time for another breath. It's the smartest thing to do. I've heard more than a few rumors about the Thief King's great ka. Between the Dragon and Diabound, we could rule Egypt. We could avenge his people.. And we could make sure no one was ever an outcast again..
But I'm not. I'm human. And even knowing all this, I refuse to listen. I'm afraid.. Fear hinders me.. From making this a better country.. And even from following my own heart..
I want to say that I want to come. Not contribute to his cause, but.. Just run away with him.. I want to.. But.. I hesitantly lay my hands across his chest, now so close; I lean in so slightly. I want him to hold me.. "Bakura.."
-
Oh no.. Please don't cry again.. I want so much to just take her away. To hold her and kiss away her tears until she never cries again.. Why don't I? I'm sure she'd use the Dragon's might in good time.. Couldn't I take her? Show her that love IS still strong in th-.. world?
Love...
I just thought love.. But I couldn't love her.. I barely know her... And what does it matter? Osiris and Isis were in love from birth! Not that I care about the gods, of course. If I did, they would just strike me dead right now.. But honestly.. Could I really have fallen in love with her?
"Ssh.." I look into her eyes. Her eyes... I'm drawn in.. The endless blue.. The endless deep.. They're calling me... Calling my lips to hers.. Dammit, my soul to hers.. Why won't I act on it? Rather, I stand there, ignoring her moving closer. With little expression, I ask again, "Will you go or stay?"
-
Air catches in my throat. "I..." Finally, I sigh. If I can't say what I want to, I just won't answer. I focus on his eyes. They still seem piercing. But.. Somehow, in a good way.. His linen-white hair catches every ray of scarce light in the room, just making his skin seem that much darker. He somehow seems… attractive right now.. Isis-Hathor.. Why am I thinking all this?
Seeing the way he is looking at me right now.. I want to kiss him.. It makes me wonder.. Could he be feeling the same thing? But no.. That's impossible.. No one has ever loved me.. Not truly. And Bakura of all.. He could never love..
...Could he? I suppose it would be wrong of me to judge him based only on what little I've seen and heard.. No more fair than the way they judge me.
I don't even know what my heart is thinking anymore.. I honestly am beginning to believe I'm falling in love with this Rogue. So why can I not get Seto out of my head long enough to go with it. Maybe this is destiny's way.. Maybe she's trying to show me.. I'm not meant to be with him..
So why do I want him so badly?
Why do I want her so badly?
He deserves better than a freak..
She deserves better than a Thief..
And I owe Seto my life..
The Priest.. The Pharaoh's cousin.. Royalty better suits her.
I want him.. But I can't leave..
I should take her with me.. But I won't..
I'd only slow him down, or I'd have to hurt people..
She deserves to choose her own fate.. I have to let her decide..
I won't have him take me in for pity..
Because even though she'll never return it..
Even if I never say this..
I lovehim/her...
-
She looks to the ground again. "I'll stay.."
I choke just a little. Of course.. "Very well.." I hesitate. She's still so close; finally giving in, I hold her. Here she is my arms.. And as complicated as everything is, it will likely be the only time she ever is.. I have to do this now or never..
I tilt her head back to look at those sapphires, and kiss her. I can sense her hesitation.. But then she returns it, lets me in. Our kiss is long and deep. Ecstacy...
At last pulling away, I try to catch my breath as I say, "I'll be waiting if you change your mind.." This is meant to sound normal, but falls a bit short. I mentally kick myself. Fucking feelings.. Sighing, I add half-hoping she won't hear, "Always.." She nods, breathless herself. A pause follows. For the moment, we just look at each other. Then we kiss again...
-------
Why had she come? This was stupid! The only answer she could think of- she could sense the two men she loved were fighting. Now, to see this. The priest who had been so vile before, transformed into something even worse. Seto, on the verge of the dark side. Bakura, half-possessed by Zork. It was too much to bear!
She was glad when the dagger came..
"Seto.." Her great dragon gave her just the strength to choke this.. "I'll always protect you with the light of my soul.." She smiled internally, for as she had always reminded herself, only her soul was a Dragon... Bakura stood across the wrecked tomb, looking unperturbed on the outside, perhaps even like he was enjoying it. But Kisara knew him better.. Inside, he was distraught. Unattatched. It showed, though barely, through his piercing eyes. In fading from one life to the next, she sent her love a private thought.
'Guess I should have joined you after all, huh?' A light laugh. 'I guess we can't turn back, but I'll be waiting for you in the afterlife..' Bakura smiled inside. He couldn't wait.
It never occured to either of them that a fellow dead man may be able to hear her. Mahad..
The Dark Mage looked to the great stone circle upon which Bakura stood. 'You claimed my Ring?' he thought. 'You can have it..' And he began a chant.
-------
Five thousand years later, a boy of about 16 lived ever-coping with a rather disgruntled spirit. Young Ryou never could figure out why his yami was always so bent on controling the Millenium Items, nor why he was so obsessed even to this day with exacting his revenge upon the pharaoh. Sometimes, he seemed even self-destructive. But then, humanity rarely allows self destruction, no matter how logical it seems, and Ryou's instinct would not let him simply kill both their body.
All of Ryou's friends- Yugi, Joey, Tristan, Téa- puzzled over it as well. The spirit Yugi knew didn't act this way. So why should Ryou's spirit be so incredibly different?
Not one of them ever suspected the cause to be a woman. But the Thief always knew, in the back of his mind, that his love was still waiting for him on the other side. Whether he could go there, or bring her back here, he WOULD see her again. Someday..
And he always had to wonder.. Would things have been different if he'd only spoken then? But there are no second chances.. Even in the Memory World. And he would always have to merely wonder, and be content with that. All because neither of them had been willing to say how they felt... It was one of the only times ever recorded in which love may have truly been lost...
Mamihlapinatapai. Never be afraid.. Never be caught in this.. Take an opportunity when you have it, because there are no true second chances. And you never know when an opportunity may be your last..
Oh! And don't forget to review! ^^ Outcastshipping rocks.
Notes on the Re-Write: I did try to make Bakura a little less OOC here, but not be too heartless; it's still a romance, after all. So I thought I'd go a route with him steal being a bit crude, but a lot of it being a mask, showing he's more underneath than he reveals. '^^; Tell me if it worked at all...
