Disclaimer: Guess what? I don't own Harry Potter, or anything else, really.
A/N: I am SO sorry that this took so long. I had to write out just about the entire Potter family tree, which required going through the books to find any names that I could and then filling in the blanks, and it took forever. Not to mention that I had almost the whole thing typed up, but then I looked over it, decided it sucked, scrapped the whole thing, and rewrote it. So, I'm really sorry, but I think you people would rather have a decently written chapter (albeit a bit late) than a crap one.
Sirius suddenly jumped up. "Where is Dumbledore?" he asked furiously.
Remus sighed. He thought about holding his friend back, but Dumbledore had it coming to him this time. Although, the way Sirius was looking right now, he'd end up in a duel with the old man, and that could not end well. "Hold on, Sirius," cautioned Remus, "Please don't start a fight with Albus. You'll only get yourself killed."
Sirius scoffed, "Dumbledore wouldn't kill me. Anyway, we have to get back at him. He was going to stick Harry with those—those disgusting muggles."
"Sirius," Remus smirked, "are we Marauders or not?" Sirius grinned back at him. "We'll need a plan."
"A plan, Sirius?" replied Remus, "as in singular? Oh, no. We'll need several."
Unfortunately, their scheming was temporarily interrupted as a set of doors to the back of the room flew open with a bang and Albus Dumbledore re-entered the library. "Come over here, my boys," he called out across the room, "I've found something that you may find interesting."
"Notice how he doesn't actually tell us what it is," grumbled Sirius as he dragged his friend over towards the doors.
"And notice how you are going to see it anyway, and dragging me along for the ride, I might add," remarked Remus as they walked through the doors into a smaller room filled with more bookshelves. Having thought that the library alone would provide enough reading for a whole lifetime, Remus squealed with delight at the sight of even more books.
Sirius sighed, "Yes, Remus, there are more books here. Don't get too excited, though because I would bet a hundred galleons that these are the Potter family records, and let me tell you, it is really not that interesting to find out who some random guy who has been dead for centuries married at the age of twenty-three or how many kids he had."
"Oh," said Remus, visibly disappointed, "so what exactly is in all of these books?"
"Name, birth date, death date, parents, godparents, spouse, date of wedding, number of children, names of children, and just about anything else you can possibly think of about anyone even remotely related to the Potter family that ever existed," replied Sirius.
"Okay," replied Remus, "so, we can start by finding Harry's entry. Are these in any particular order?"
"Chronological by birth date," answered Sirius, "The most recent will be in the back of the room."
Remus raised an eyebrow in amusement, "Chronological, Sirius? That's, what, five syllables? Enlarging our vocabulary, I see."
Sirius stuck out his tongue and replied, "Yeah, well, anyone unfortunate enough to live with someone who actually reads the dictionary for fun is guaranteed to pick up a few things. Are we looking for the entry or not?" With that, he turned around and walked to the back of the room to find Harry's entry.
"Let's see," muttered Sirius, "July, July, July, here it is, the 28th, the 29th, the 30th, oh here, the 31st, I've found it Remus." He called that last bit over to Remus, who was still standing halfway across the room where Sirius had left him.
"Oh, excellent," Remus replied, running over to where Sirius was holding the old, dusty book. "What's it say?" He tried to read over Sirius's shoulder, but found that he was too short, and read under his elbow instead.
Name: Harry James Potter (h)
Birth date: 31July, 1979
Father: James Alexander Potter (p)
Mother: Lily Elizabeth Evans (married Potter) (mb)
Godfather: Sirius Orion Black (p)
"What do the letters mean?" asked Remus.
Sirius answered, "P is for pureblood, H is for half-blood, MB is for muggleborn, M would be for muggle, and S would be for squib."
"Oh, okay," said Remus, "so now we have to find James's entry."
"No," replied Sirius, pulling out his wand, "it's easier from here. Now, I just have to touch my wand to his name and his entry will show up." He tapped the book where it said 'James,' and when the entry appeared, he tapped James's father's name, Henry.
Then he stopped. "Well that's odd," said Remus, "James never told us he had a sister."
Sure enough, underneath the names of James's parents was listed:
Daughter: Alexandria Alexis Potter (disowned)
"Well, it's no bloody wonder that he didn't," replied Sirius, "she was disowned. They probably never talked about her."
But Remus had tapped Alexandria's name with his wand and was staring at her entry.
"Sirius," he groaned, "look."
"What?"
Remus showed Sirius the book.
Name: Alexandria Alexis Potter (disowned)
Birth date: 17 November 1937
Death date: Father: Henry Frederick Potter
Mother: Adrianna Bethany Longbottom (married Potter)
Son: Severus Salazar Snape
"The greasy git is her son."
Sirius gaped at the entry. "Remus," he whined, "we're going to have to live with Snivellus."
A/N: I made up most of the names, so if it says anyone's name in the books and I have them wrong, I'm sorry. Also, I decided that Harry is related to everyone that Sirius isn't (according to the Black Family tree in the fifth book) so I stuck in the Longbottoms and the Snapes.
