Darry's POV
I felt horrible. Lack of sleep and food had done that to me. It was all because of that night. That one night that changed it all for me.
Flash back
It was Tuesday night. Soda had fallen asleep, and I didn't dare wake him. I slipped out of the house and drove to the hospital. I couldn't sleep anyway. I left a note on Soda's door so he'd know where I am.
I hated being away from Pony, but Soda had convinced me to go home for a while. And then I came back. It was driving me insane. He'd been asleep so much. It was worrying me.
I ran up the steps to Pony's room and walked inside. He was still on the bed, sound asleep. I walked up to the chair beside him and sat down.
I couldn't believe all that had happened to him. He'd been through to much in his life. I know he said that he was glad it had happened, but I sure as hell wasn't.
I don't really remember when it happened, but I was awakened in the middle of the night to the sound of someone tossing around.
When I opened my eyes, I saw Ponyboy thrashing about on his bed. I tried shaking him, to wake him up, but it wasn't working. Then he began talking, and that was when my nightmare began.
"No! Stop! You're hurting me! Leave me alone! Get away from me!" Pony said loudly. I shook him again, but he still wasn't waking up.
"It hurts! Darry! Soda! Help! Help me! It hurts ... it hurts so much. Stop it! Please! Make it stop! Just let me die! I want to die! Please! Make it stop! I'm tired of hurting! Please, it hurts too much! Kill me! Just let me die! I don't want this anymore!"
Tears were streaming down my face as he screamed those words. I was choking on the sobs, as I tried to wake Pony.
"Wake up! Wake up, baby. Please." I just wanted him to stop saying those things. They cut me more than any blade ever had.
I shook him harder, begging, pleading, for him to stop.
With a sudden yelp, he stopped. He burrowed into the covers, and began to shiver. I got in bed beside him and took him in my arms. I buried my face in his hair as I held him tightly. The tears wouldn't stop.
I hugged Pony and rocked him back and forth.
"I'm so sorry, baby. I'm so sorry." I choked out between my sobs.
End of Flashback
I wiped at my eyes, just at the remembrance of that night.
I had come to Pony's room door and so I knocked lightly.
I opened up the door and saw that Pony was awake. I smiled sadly, but he began to cry.
I rushed to his side. I knelt on the floor beside his bed and stroked his hair.
"What's the matter, baby?" I asked softly.
"You." He said through his tears.
"What about me?" I asked, confused.
Soda came over on the other side and rubbed Pony's back as he buried his face in the pillow.
"Sh. You're okay, honey." I soothed.
"I know I am! It's you that's not!" Pony yelled out.
"What?" I said, confused.
"You! You've been beating yourself up over what I said that night. I didn't mean it, Darry! Honest, I didn't. Please believe me. You look like you haven't slept in years and I know you haven't been eating. You look pale and thinner."
I smiled.
"Calm down, baby. I'll start sleeping and eating, okay?" I said.
"But you have to stop worrying about that night. Please, Darry. You've got to know that I didn't mean it."
"Sh. It's okay, baby. I understand. You were hurting and you were tired of it. It's okay. We all feel that way sometime."
"You do?"
"Yeah. Like after Mom and Dad died, I was ready to die. I didn't know what to do or how to live without them. Then I thought of you and Soda and I knew I had to keep going. I had to be there for you."
"Oh." Pony said, looking down like he was embarrassed.
"It's okay, baby. We all get that way sometimes. It's normal." Soda said to him.
"Will you start eating and sleeping now?" Pony asked.
"Yes. I will, baby." I said, and leaned down to hug him.
He clutched to me like I was his life-preserver, and I held him tight against me. Soda joined in the hug, and I reached an arm over to embrace him, too.
"I love you guys so much." I said.
"I love you too." I heard simultaneously from Soda and Ponyboy.
"No one could ask for better brothers." I said as I hugged them all the tighter.
"We could say the same about you." Soda said, leaning back and grinning at me.
