A/N: Little experiment fic. Wanted to see how anyone would react to this before deciding if I should continue this. Chapter is a bit clunky too so I can rewrite the way this ends if I do decide to continue this because I wasn't satisfied either. Leave a review if you have an opinion!
She was my best friend.
That was what I told the little refugee kid sitting legs crossed a few meters behind me. I didn't give her a name. I just let her eyes wander all over the artwork.
The last few puffs from the spray can died down as I threw it down onto the floor. I can clean it up later once I'm done. Grabbing the thick paintbrush, I dipped it in the striking blue bucket of paint and began stroking it messily onto the wall.
"Was she special to you?"
I paused for a moment before sighing and continuing to work on her ever-electrifying hair.
"Oh, she was special alright."
I felt a small twitch tug on the corner of my lips as memories of days where we would go and travel around the undercity on one of our highly fragile, highly mobile makeshift vehicle contraptions, just making life a living hell out for everybody - but mostly the enforcers.
Sometimes we'd get caught but as kids whose only criminal act was pickpocketing and vandalism in the undercity, we almost always got away unscathed. It also helped that Vander was her guardian. And even with a few cuts and bruises, at the end of the day I always look back at the time we spent with a hop on my step and a toothy grin on my face.
The way her brittle little legs ran always made me panic as I would end up just carrying her on my back when we're being chased although it didn't really make much of a difference with my not-so-large stature. The way her pale skin reflected the moonlight coming from up above topside as her arms tried their hardest to cling onto me. The way her dark blue eyes closed in mirth and the small rumbling of her chest behind me as she giggled uncontrollably. And the way her powder blue hair enticed me as it danced against the wind as we moved from one dark alley to another.
"Did you like her?"
I paused again, this time turning my gaze over to the curious kid. I stared at her for a good few seconds before giving in to the small smile.
"Maybe a little bit, yeah."
I heard the little girl laugh as I turned my back to her and went back to the mural. It was almost done and I almost surprised myself with how it turned out. Maybe hanging out with her 24/7 if she wasn't on a job with Vi and the others really painted her face in my mind.
Heh. Even when she was with them, I'd manage to snake my way around and keep myself involved. While it was cool to watch Vi punch the living shit out of the air, the experience was nothing compared to watching the blue-haired girl watch her. The emotions in her eyes swirled, her pride, her fascination, and everything about her was nothing short of breathtaking. I'd stick around until we're the only ones left and I would watch as she tried to emulate her sister's jabs and kicks clumsily but with childlike innocence and passion.
I grabbed a thinner paintbrush and dipped it in the dirty silver paint bucket. My eyes lingered on the blue pigments in front of me before slowly sliding the brush as I recreated her tiny hair clips from memory.
"Is she dead?"
My grip on the brush hardened as I contemplated her question. Was she dead? As a kid, I always pictured us dying together not necessarily as your typical cheesy romantic lovers that those Piltie novels seemed to milk the population out of, but at the very least as special people to each other. You can be someone's best friend but be no one special to them and that's what I had hoped to avoid. But even that is a luxury that a little runt like me living in the undercity wouldn't be able to realistically afford.
There were nights when she would get bummed out by her failed innovations or when she would throw a tantrum if she gets blamed for a failed job where I accompanied her on top of dirty rooftops just staring at the bleak undercity view of the starlit sky. She would always refuse to talk about the past, ever so focused on the future. She talked about all the things she wanted to do, to create, and all the people she wanted to help. How she hopes to give the people of the undercity their birthright of a good life, and how she would only accept death once she was able to prove that she wasn't weak and that people could depend on her.
Through all that, all I would be able to do was stare. The bright, determined, and optimistic sparkle in her eyes always captured my gaze better than any star in the sky at any given night.
Every time she made me swear. Every time she made me swear that I'll always have her back. Every time she made me swear that when she turns around and searched for me, I would always be there waving my hands at her. Every time she made me swear that Pow-pow and Little Man would die together.
Every time I swore, and now that the time has come, I failed her.
"Yeah."
"Oh."
I stopped and stepped back to admire my work. There she is in all her childish glory. Pale skin, dark blue eyes, and eye bags underneath that a child like her under normal circumstances should not sport, and that ever-so-familiar powder blue hair.
I glanced at the pink spray can below me before shaking the thought off. Her playtime look shall be our and only our memory.
A small hum echoed through the Firelight sanctuary. I looked back at the little kid who had her fingers cupping her chin in thought.
"What? Don't you like it?"
I gave her a sheepish grin as I sat beside her small, lean figure.
"No, I think she looks adorable. It just feels like I've seen her before."
I raised my eyebrows but stayed quiet as I stared at the newly painted mural and I felt a small smile climb its way up my face. There she stared back at me, smiling in a place where she belongs. Surrounded by the people she spent her short life with, and of those that she lost.
Flashes of the life she lived that I was fortunate enough to see crossed my mind. Those days when we wreaked havoc; Days when we were chased by it; Days when we defused it; And days when we couldn't find a way to handle the turmoil and havoc wreaking inside of us.
And yet, she always found a way to look ahead no matter how many times she failed. No matter how many bombs failed her, she always picked up the scraps and tried again. No matter how many failed jobs she was berated for by Mylo, she remained defiant and hopeful that someday she would be able to help them. And no matter how weak she was, she always kept trying.
She was able to do so because there were always people who believed in her. Claggor was there to keep her focused forward. Mylo, even though he always seemed disapproving of her, guided her. Vander was there to tolerate and forgive her. Vi was there to love her, cherish her, and protect her.
Everyone had her back when she was driven into a corner and I would like to think I was a similar figure for her too.
We were just kids. Far from innocent, far from oblivious, and far from happy as we should've been. We were thrown into a world of crime, danger, and death that a child could only hope to even bear. And yet we did, and we made the most of it. What little we had we shared, nourished, and guarded. I... we painted these memories, these smiling faces as a tribute to those whom we shared our happiness with, whose relationships we nourished, and whose lives we guarded.
My eyes wandered back to the blue-haired girl whose buckteeth showed. I hope I could've guarded that smile on her face much longer.
"Mr. Boy Savior?"
"Hmm?"
The air was silent for a while.
"You're crying."
I blinked in surprise and winced as my eyelids splashed against water.
"Oh am I?"
I offered her a dry chuckle as I vigorously rubbed my eyes red. I hadn't even noticed the stream of tears flowing down my cheeks, my lips, and down to my chin.
Salty.
"Are you okay?"
"Don't worry kid. I just haven't got much sleep lately, okay?"
She gave me a hesitant look before nodding and staring ahead at the mural.
"Okay."
I ruffled her rough, straight hair as I followed her gaze.
"She looks like the crazy blue-haired sister from The Last Drop."
I gave her a surprised glance and unknowingly took in a lump that began forming in my throat.
"Does she?"
She only nodded.
I paused, contemplated for a while, heaved a deep breath, and smiled.
"No."
She looked at me, puzzled.
"They're not similar in the slightest."
She frowned at me and looked back at the mural before glaring at me again.
"Oh, they absolutely do!"
I chuckled at her then ruffled her hair again.
"Nah. This here," I said as I pointed to the freshly-painted image. "...is my adorable best friend who died a few years ago."
She rolled her eyes at me as I began waving my arm frantically.
"And that pretty blue-haired sister you're talking about is our enem-."
My eyes shot up and I mentally slapped myself as I almost disclosed our enemies to someone. Sure it was some random refugee kid in the firelight sanctuary but still, he couldn't afford to endanger anyone's lives.
"Did you-"
Oh no.
"...say that she is-...
Oh no!
"...pretty?"
Oh... what?
I heard her giggle as my face dropped, dumbfounded, agitated, and relieved. Aside from that I also felt a bit warm. Frustratingly warm.
"You think she's pretty?"
I sighed.
"Maybe a little bit, yeah.
I let her continue giggling like the little girly kid she was. I wanted to get mad at the fact that Jinx... that blue-haired menace even existed. She was the living reminder of how I failed little Powder. After Vi died, I was supposed to be her last line of defense. All she had left was me but I wasn't even there for her. I didn't even know she was still there.
I felt frustration rise up my chest. The venom seeping underneath my teeth dribbled, tempted I was to hit a wall, hit myself, for being so weak, unreliable, and a bad friend.
What if she mindlessly walked everywhere then not knowing where to go, not knowing who to look for, not even knowing if she still had someone left waiting for her. What if she remembered the things she made me promise and wandered around the undercity lost, hungry and thirsty, in hopes of finding the boy who swore to die with her while I was sitting somewhere sulking, and mourning their deaths. What if she went to Benzo's shop and found nothing but an empty shop, and an empty bed. What if she sat countless days and nights crying for those that she lost, crying for the one name she wasn't even sure was still there for her.
I wouldn't have been able to do a lot for her. But I could've comforted her. Hugged her and wiped her tears away for her. We would've suffered together and that would've been okay because that was what we promised each other.
If only we were together... Then whatever happened to us would've been okay.
But no. I'm a failure. She needed me and I was nowhere near to be found. I swore... and I broke the one promise we repeated over and over again.
Every day I'm plagued with these thoughts and every day I see her... I see Jinx everywhere on these murky undercity grounds.
I wanted to get mad... but I couldn't. Because deep down I knew...
"I gotta go now Mr. Boy Savior!"
I gave her a small glance. "Call me Ekko."
She nodded in reply before hopping off to somewhere.
My gaze traveled back to the painted face of the smiling blue-haired girl. I felt my lips tug up to a bittersweet smile as my resolve faltered.
"Hey, Pow-pow... Will I ever see your smile again?"
