When Sky woke up again, she felt marginally better - at least physically. Her throat wasn't quite as sore as before, and her headache was gone.

She still wished she was dead, but apparently, that wish wasn't going to be granted, so for now, she had no choice but to accept the sour reality of being alive.

The soft light that entered through the curtains told Sky it was either morning or evening - the clock on the wall pointed at ten past eight, but she had no idea if it was am or pm. It didn't matter, not really. Everything still felt foggy and wrong anyways, as if this was nothing but a dream, and reality was somewhere else, somewhere where she had never opened that drawer, had never found the Medal of Honor.

Sky noticed that Dad was in her room again, and so was Carmen - Miguel's mom. It took Sky a moment to figure out what Carmen was doing here - her mind was still slow - but seeing her did make Sky feel better. Carmen had that effect on people.

The adults were talking silently by the window and they hadn't yet noticed Sky was awake. Carmen was beautiful as always, even in her nurse's scrubs, her curly hair pulled back in a ponytail. She was smiling at Dad, her hand slightly laid on Dad's arm. Dad, instead, looked like shit. He hadn't shaved, probably he hadn't showered either and Sky could have sworn he was wearing the same clothes he'd chosen for his date—

His date.

That thought made Sky actively want to die again. Lisa would never want to date Dad now that Sky had lived. Who would want a man with a crazy, suicidal daughter whose crazy suicide attempts would ruin all the dates?

Sky forced that thought away. She was too tired to think about killing herself again. It would have to wait.

She glanced around and noticed there was a huge amount of flowers, cards, and even balloons in the room, which immediately made Sky feel like shit because it no doubt meant that everyone knew what had happened.

That was the shitty thing about a failed suicide attempt. You had to face the effect it had on people. Thank God Paulo wasn't here this time - Sky couldn't have taken that. And the people who had brought all these gifts - she would think about them later. She would think about many things later, not today. For now, it took all she had to just stay awake.

"Hi," She said softly, drawing both Dad and Carmen's attention to her.

"Sky, how are you feeling?" asked Carmen, giving her a warm and kind smile as she walked to her bed. "Any pain or discomfort?"

She shook her head. "Not really. I just feel… tired."

"You'll be feeling tired for some time," Carmen replied, and turned to check the monitor. "Your body has been through quite a shock."

Quite a shock indeed. Sky didn't know how close she'd been to dying, but it must've been a pretty close call.

Not enough, though.

I fucking failed.

That thought had a bitter taste, and Sky tried to repel it by thinking about something else. She glanced at the balloons and the flowers.

"So everyone knows?"

"Your friends have been worried about you," Carmen replied.

Dad walked closer too and took a seat on a chair by Sky's bed. "I said Carmen could tell Miguel, and I guess he informed your friends. There is a horde of people waiting to see you."

"I don't wanna see anybody."

"You don't have to," Carmen said comfortingly. "It's okay. But is it alright if I tell Miguel you are awake? He has been worried sick."

She shrugged. "I guess."

Miguel would tell Hawk, Sky knew, but that couldn't be helped. Besides, Dad probably had told Hawk already. Memories of her short conversation with Dad flashed through Sky's mind, making her sad and angry again. Dad seemed to think that Hawk was some kind of a hero for saving her life when the truth was there had been nothing to be saved.

Her life was over. It had been over since the moment she had picked the Medal of Honor from the carpet and realized that Hawk's love for her had been nothing but a lie.

Her heart was destroyed. She might be alive, but her heart would never beat again. There was nothing but an aching black hole in her chest where her heart should have been.

Whatever Dad thought had been saved, was nothing more than an empty shell of a girl, filled with shadows and darkness. The climb back to the world of living would be long, hard, and painful, and Sky knew she didn't have the strength for that. Not again.

It wasn't like she could regrow a heart. She wasn't a fucking axolotl.

"I'll get you something to eat and drink now," Carmen said, placing a soothing hand on her shoulder and bringing Sky back to the moment. "You need to get your strength back."

The thought of food made Sky's stomach turn. She felt like she'd be sick.

"No, I can't—"

"None of that," noted dad rather pointedly. "You lived. And you're going to eat like a good girl, even if I have to force feed you myself."

Sky rolled her eyes at dad, but didn't argue. She knew there was no point.

"Fine," she muttered. "But the food better be good."

Of course, the food wasn't good. It was hospital food, its sole purpose to nourish the body - who cared if it looked like shit and tasted like feet?

Sky ate nevertheless. Once she had taken the first spoonful of the soup, her stomach grumbled and she realized she was hungry. No, she wasn't just hungry - she was fucking starving. Who would have thought that almost dying would have that effect on her? She finished the weird, watery chicken soup so fast that it made her a bit nauseous and high-headed again.

"That's my girl," said Dad, when she had finished and placed her spoon back on the tray. "Maybe tomorrow I'll reward you by smuggling some takeaway in here. Any wishes?"

"Sushi?" Sky suggested. "I would give an arm for salmon nigiri."

A shadow passed Dad's face.

"I'm not eating sushi for some time." He said. "But whatever makes you get back on your feet."

Sky pushed the empty tray away and lay back down on her bed. Eating had made her tired, the room was spinning and it was a bliss to lay her head on the pillow.

"So who brought all this stuff?" she asked after a minute, signaling towards the flowers and the balloons.

"Your friends," Dad said and stood up to take a closer look. His face was serious as he observed all the cards and flowers, and as he pushed his hands into his pockets, he gave a long sigh.

"You know, Sky—" he said. "It is easy to find things worth dying for. I know. When your mother died, I wanted to die too, for a long time. It's so much harder to find things worth living for. I was lucky to have you, my little girl. If I didn't… Who knew what would have happened."

He picked a card that had a picture of a cute cat and a colorful text saying 'Get Well Soon!'

"The reason I'm telling you this is that it might not feel like that now, but you do have things worth living for." Dad went on. "Your friends, for starters. Just take a look."

He passed the card to Sky, and she recognized Moon's soft, beautiful handwriting immediately.

"So sorry to hear you're in the hospital!

I hope you'll feel better soon and we can hang out again. Let's do whatever you want. Love you, girl xoxoxo"

Sky's eyes teared up. She had to close the card and place it back on the table, but Dad had already picked another one and gave it to her.

It was from Sam.

"I'll never forgive myself for letting you leave. I knew you weren't okay, and I should have been there for you. I'm so sorry. I hope I'll get to see you soon, because you mean the world to me and I want to be your friend, always."

Tears were now running down her face, and Sky tossed the card away almost angrily.

"If you think this is helping, you are delusional," she said, wiping her face on a napkin.

"I'm just trying to remind you that there are people who care about you. Your life matters - not just to me, but to so many people."

Sky didn't reply. Of course, she knew some people thought her life mattered. The problem was that it didn't matter to her. Not anymore. Not now that she had lost not only Kat but Hawk too.

But it was no use to try and explain that to Dad, who went through all the cards like a man on a mission, showing whom they were from, admiring the gifts and the flowers and the balloons. There was a beautiful bouquet of flowers from Aisha and her parents, a huge basket filled with all kinds of delicacies from Sam and the LaRussos, balloons, and a card from the Cobras (even Sensei Lawrence had put his name on the card).

And then there was the huge bouquet of blood-red roses. Sky didn't have to ask to know who had brought them. There was no card attached to the flowers, but when dad had gone through all of the other cards and gifts, he turned towards the roses.

"And these—"

"Don't," Sky said with a strangled voice. "I don't want them. Please take them away."

Dad let out a sigh and frowned. He did nothing to remove the roses.

"I think we need to have a talk about Eli," he said and sat down on his chair again.

Sky would have rather faced the Spanish Inquisition.

"No."

"Sky, he's been here every day. He just wants to know that you're okay."

"I'm not okay."

"Well, just tell him that then." Dad shrugged. "All I'm saying is that you should talk to him."

"I never want to talk to him again."

A short silence followed her words. Dad frowned and leaned back in the chair, crossing his long legs at the ankles.

"Did you break up?"

"I thought me trying to kill myself made a clear point that we're not together anymore."

Dad let out a long, strained sigh. "Obviously I don't know everything that happened—"

"You don't. So stay out of it."

"—but I do know that boy loves you."

Those words were a dagger through her sternum. Love? Hawk didn't know the meaning of that word. He had taken it and twisted it and turned it into something wrong and ugly, leaving nothing behind but smoldering ruins.

"He doesn't love me," Sky breathed. "He lied to me. For weeks."

"I know, he told me." Dad replied without a blink. "He told about breaking into Miyagi-Do, about stealing that Medal… Which were stupid and wrong things to do, but Sky—"

"He told you?" Sky could barely believe her ears.

"He did, and he seems to be very sorry."

"He's not sorry. Not for stealing, not for lying. He's only sorry that he got caught," Sky seethed. "Had I not found the medal, he never would have told me."

"Maybe not, but we can't know that. What happened, happened. And I'm not saying you need to just forgive and forget, but you do need to talk to him."

"What - are you on his side now?"

"Sky - I will always be on your side," Dad said, and took her hand, his delicate, long fingers gripping hers with force. "Always. And if you don't want to be with Eli anymore, it is fine and I support you. But you have to tell him, with words this time. Not only for his sake but for yours too."

Sky looked at the roses on the nightstand. She didn't want to think about Hawk, but he was all she could think about. His arms around her body when he held her close, the rhythm of his heartbeat when she laid her head on his chest. She remembered the last time when she'd been in his bed - after the lovemaking, his naked body against her own, his fingers gently brushing through her hair.

She loved him so much it hurt. Loved him still, after all the lies, after everything that had happened.

She wanted nothing more than to be able to turn back time, she wanted to unopen the drawer, unfind the Medal, she wanted to undo everything she had done.

The roses were beautiful and blood red, their thorns sharp and vicious. Everything about them reminded Sky of Hawk.

"Sky—"

A voice by the door called her name. Sky turned to look, her heart plummeting down to her stomach like an asteroid hitting the Earth.

It was Hawk.


Aaaaah what now? How do you think that talk is going to go?