Chapter Four- The Nearness of You
Haley woke up the next morning, disappointed to find that she was the only person in the bed. It didn't take her long to smell the reason why she had woken up: bacon and coffee. She smiled as she climbed out of bed, Nathan was cooking breakfast. She threw on her white silk robe and started to head downstairs, but paused as something caught her eye. She walked over to Nathan's desk where the object was resting and she couldn't help but smile as she read the words "Sometimes they come back" on the bottom of the drawing. The picture was of two hands with wedding rings on, joined together, and she clearly recognized it as one of Peyton's drawings. As she picked it up to get a closer look, she became choked up when she saw what had been lying underneath it. The Cracker Jack box bracelet, the one she had regretfully left behind. A single tear fell down her cheek as she picked the bracelet up and placed it back on her wrist, where it belonged. Wiping the tear from her cheek, she took a deep breath and tried to compose herself. It had suddenly hit her that one choice in her life had almost cost her everything she truly loved. Never again would she make such a stupid, impulsive decision. She was married and she had to think of Nathan too, not just herself- or she would lose him all over again.
There was a bounce in her step as she headed downstairs. She was looking forward to seeing Nathan this morning after their kiss last night; it had stayed in her mind and replayed in her dreams. She paused before she entered the kitchen, just watched him from behind as he cooked away at the stove. As quietly as she could, she walked up behind him and put her arms around his waist, resting her chin on his shoulder. "Good morning, Mr. Scott."
Nathan turned his head slightly so that he could kiss her on the cheek. "Good morning to you too, Mrs. Scott. Sorry to not be there this morning, but I was starving and I figured you would be too."
"Yes, I am, and this smells absolutely wonderful." She kissed his neck before moving so that she could lean against the counter next to him. "Any news on your dad?"
"Yeah, we're probably going to have to head over there as soon as we get ready."
"No problem, is he doing better?"
"Well, he's awake and in a lot of pain, but my mom said he was talking this morning."
"What did he say?"
"Well he told the cops that it wasn't suicide, but that he didn't want them investigating anymore. He told them to call off questioning and to leave the case alone."
Haley was confused. "Why would he do that?"
"I have no clue. Obviously he knows who did it, but I would think that if he knew who it was then he would want them brought to justice. But it's Dan, so who really knows what's going through his head."
"Yeah, good point."
"Maybe his life flashed before his eyes like they say, and he saw all of the horrible things he did to people throughout his life. That probably would have made it easy to understand why someone would want to kill him. I mean I wouldn't have done it alone, but I'm not saying that I wouldn't have been first in line if someone threw together a kill Dan Scott party. I wouldn't have thought twice about joining."
"Yeah, you and probably the rest of this town."
"That's exactly what I'm saying; there are so many people who could have done it. And I'm sure that there are more in other towns- he's lived his life pissing other people off to get what he wants. Dan Scott is the only person that Dan Scott cares about. I promised myself a long time ago that I would never grow up to be like him."
"And you've done such a good job at doing that, you're nothing like him."
"No, I'm more like him than I'd like to admit. I mean look at the way I acted when you left: I got drunk most of the time and just moped around feeling sorry for myself. I shouldn't have been so selfish; I should have let you follow your dream without having to feel guilt and not have felt so threatened."
"Nathan, that doesn't make you the same as Dan. That makes you the exact opposite. If you were like Dan you would have done something to keep me here- not let me find out the hard way that this was where I belonged all along. Don't compare yourself to him, you'll never even touch how horrible he is."
Nathan took a step to the side so that he was standing in front of her and placed his hands on the counter on each side of her. "That means a lot to hear you say."
Haley brought her hands up to Nathan's cheeks and smiled. "I mean it and I'll tell you a million more times if that's what it takes."
As Haley had brought her hands up, her sleeves had fallen down and Nathan smiled at what he saw. "I see you found the bracelet."
"Yeah, I thought it should be returned to its rightful place."
Nathan leaned in so that his forehead was resting against Haley's. "I love you, Haley."
She couldn't help but smile and brush her lips against his gently. "I love you too, Nathan. Now finish making our breakfast, mister, cause I'm starving!" She laughed and playfully smacked his butt as he returned to his cooking duties.
"You better watch yourself," he said, returning her playful banter, "because payback's a bitch."
"You promise?" she asked with a coy smile before making herself useful and setting plates and silverware on the island. "So, it's going to be kind of weird to see Dan today, don't you think? I'm not going to know what to say."
"Well, you're going to have to make sure I keep my temper down. All I really want to do is yell at him for bringing annulment papers to you and forging my signature. But I know it's not the time for it, and it would really upset my mom."
"What do you think she's going to do? Do you think she'll stay with him?"
"I don't know, Hales. I hope that she's learned her lesson and sees that he'll always be the same person. But she's come back to him in the past and I don't know if she'll be strong enough to stay away from him. I mean look at how she is right now- she hasn't left the hospital since he was brought in. She's barely left his room. I just hope she's not feeling guilty because she was planning on leaving him before the fire."
"Well, I'm sure she's does, but hopefully it's just for the time being. But you never know, there's a part of her that loves him and always will."
"Yeah, those first loves- you never seem to be able to get rid of them."
"Hey!" Haley laughed, but turned serious as a sense of sadness suddenly overcame her.
Nathan could tell that something was wrong. "Haley, what is it?"
She opened her mouth to answer, but as she did the sound of the doorbell echoed throughout the house. "I'll go get it," she quickly answered.
She had no clue who it could be, but assumed it would be Lucas since he was the only one who knew she was in town and that her and Nathan were staying with Deb. So she was surprised when she opened the door and Peyton was standing on the front porch. "Peyton!" she exclaimed, pulling her friend into her arms.
She had missed Peyton so much in New York because she was really her only female friend. They had always talked about their love lives and their problems with each other, so it was so good to see her face after so long. But as Haley pulled back and looked closer she realized that it was about the least happy face she had ever seen. "Peyton, what's wrong?"
"Oh, Haley, I'm so glad that you're back. I've really needed someone to talk to. I went to see Lucas this morning and he told me that you had come home- I came straight here!"
"Well, why don't you come in and tell me what's going on. Nathan's actually making some breakfast, so why don't you join us? Or do you want to talk in private?"
"I don't want to interrupt anything, it's really just nice to see you and know that you're home. I'll let you and Nathan eat, just call me as soon as you get a chance." She turned to leave, but Haley grabbed her arm.
"Peyton Sawyer, don't be silly, come inside right now. I've missed you and I really want to help, no offense but you look like crap. So as long as you don't care that Nathan hears your story too, come to the kitchen and eat breakfast with us!"
Peyton could see that Haley wasn't taking no for an answer so she followed her into the kitchen. She really didn't care if Nathan was there because she knew he would hear the story eventually and they had also started getting closer lately. They had been able to bond over the fact that they had both loved and lost. Even though from the sight of things Nathan was back to being in love- he and Haley looked very comfortable cooking breakfast in their pajamas. It was as if everything with them was back to normal. But she was happy for them; well she at least wanted to be. There were too many problems in her life to feel any kind of happiness.
Nathan turned around as they walked into the kitchen and Peyton was met with a smile. Yeah, they had definitely made up. "Hey, Peyton, are you going to have breakfast with us?"
"Yeah, if it's okay with you."
"Of course, I'll just make more. Take a seat at the island."
Peyton laughed to herself as she took a seat. A year ago the sight of Nathan in just his boxers would have turned her on, but now it was as if he was her long lost brother. What a difference a year could make.
Haley took a seat across from her. "So, what is going on? Is it Jake?"
"Well, he's half of the problem. I guess I'll start with that."
"Was he finally released?" Nathan asked as he started scrambling eggs.
"Yeah, but something happened before he was released. Nicci found Jenny and came back just to show Jake that she has her. Then she just took off with Jenny, and Jake couldn't do anything about it. So he came to me and said that he had to go find her, alone. He left and he's not coming back until he finds her. How am I supposed to wait- it could be months or years before he comes back. I don't even know if he'll ever come back."
"Peyton, you have to think positively. He loves you, he'll come back. He'd want you to at least see that he found Jenny and that she was okay. He knows how much you love her." Haley wanted Peyton to look on the brightside. If Nathan could forgive her and they could work everything out, then there was hope for everyone.
Nathan brought the plates to the island and took a seat next to Haley. "Haley's right, Peyt. You just have to believe that he'll come home, no matter how hard it seems right now. Sometimes they come back, right?" He looked to Haley and smiled as she leaned towards him to steal a kiss. He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and turned back to Peyton. "The glass is always half full, Peyton."
"Haley, it is unbelievable what you do to this kid. You better stick around so he stays this way, it's much more appealing."
"Oh, don't worry, Peyton. He's not getting rid of me for a long time. So what else is up? You said Jake was only half of the problem."
"I met my mother last night."
"What?" Nathan asked. "That's not possible."
"Yeah, well apparently I've been living a nice gigantic lie my whole life. I called my dad yesterday and he confirmed everything this Elizabeth lady told me. She's my real mom."
"What did she tell you?" Haley asked, just as confused as Nathan was.
"Well, apparently my mom was a drug addict and only cleaned up while she was pregnant with me. She left my dad and me as soon as I was born, I wasn't even out of the hospital yet. My dad became really close with her sister and they eventually fell in love. They raised me and since they believed my real mom would never come back, my aunt raised me as her own daughter. I just can't believe that they would lie to me my whole life. I probably wouldn't have been mad if I had known from the beginning, but it really hurts finding out this way. And now this Elizabeth lady wants to be a part of my life, how screwed up is that?"
"Wow, Peyt, I don't even know what to say," Nathan finally spoke. "What are you going to do?"
"I don't know. I mean, I guess she has the right to get to know me, but how do I let someone in that abandoned me? I can understand not being ready to raise a child at a young age, but she never even tried to be a part of my life. Suddenly she shows up and expects me to be okay with it. It's all just so much to think about, and with everything going on with Jake I'm already on overload. This summer is just starting out really bad. And I'm sorry to be such a downer. I'm really trying to be happy for you guys, I just wish Jake was here to help me through all this."
"Peyton, you don't have to apologize for anything. You have so much to think about and I'm so glad that you came to find me. I missed you so much in New York!"
"I missed you too, Haley, I'm glad I have someone here to talk to."
"Hey!" Nathan butted in.
"Nathan, you're not the same. There are some things you just can't understand, and some things that I really just don't want to talk to you about." Peyton walked over to the sink and placed her empty plate in. "Okay, kids, I think I'm going to get going. It was really nice talking to both of you, and Haley I'm glad you're going to be here this summer. Nathan, you suck and at the same time I'm jealous you get to leave Tree Hill for three months."
Nathan looked over at Haley and then back at Peyton. "Yeah, I'm suddenly not as excited about leaving as I was before." He reached over and placed his hand on Haley's knee. "But, I still have a few more days before I leave and I plan on making up for lost time."
"Okay, well I'm going to go and let you start doing that, because I really don't want to be here to witness it."
Haley laughed and stood up so that she could give Peyton a hug. "Peyton, call me whenever you need something or just want to talk. Just listen to your heart. If there's one thing I've learned it's that no matter how hard you try to ignore it- your heart's always telling you the right thing to do. Just don't make my mistake and ignore it for too long, it almost cost me everything."
Peyton nodded her head. "Thanks, Haley. And Nathan, if I don't see you before you leave, have fun at High Flyers and try not to work too hard. See you in three months."
"Wow, Peyton, it really feels like you're going to miss me. I can just feel the love."
Peyton laughed and gave him a hug. "Okay, guys, see you later."
Nathan waited for Peyton to leave the kitchen and then pulled Haley next to him. "I love you, you know that?"
"Yes I do, but I'll never get tired of hearing it."
"I love you…"
The rest of the week seemed to go by so fast, even though Nathan did his best to slow it down. Everyday they went to see Dan, who was still refusing to press charges on his attacker. Or even admit to who it was. Haley and Nathan had spent every minute of everyday together, but even though she slept in his bed every night they still hadn't made love. Neither of them minded, because they were more focused on rebuilding their relationship and just being together was more than enough.
It all changed the night before Nathan was leaving for High Flyers. Nathan was packing his suitcase and Haley was regretfully helping him, trying her best not to break down in front of him. He knew that she was having trouble being supportive of him leaving, just as much trouble as he was having accepting the fact that he was leaving. But he felt it was something he had to do. Haley had left to follow her dream and to see if it was what she wanted, and now he understood that he had to do the same.
He placed the last pair of basketball shorts in his bag and zipped it closed, placing it next to the door. Sitting down on the bed next to Haley, he took her hand in his and laced their fingers together. "Are you taking me to the airport tomorrow?" he asked.
"Nope, I'm calling you a cab."
"Are you serious?"
"No!" she laughed. "I'm walking you all the way to the gate, I don't care what they say."
"Good, that's what I like to hear."
A comfortable silence fell over them and Haley placed her head on Nathan's shoulder, willing herself not to cry. She now understood how Nathan must have felt when she left, and she had been able to prepare herself for the past week. She lifted her head up and took his face in her hands, softly placing her lips upon his.
Nathan deepened the kiss, gently pulling her closer by placing his hand on the back of her head. It was also him who pulled her back with him so that they were lying on the bed. His hands fell to her sides, finding the soft skin of her stomach and connecting. His heart melted as she laughed softly and helped him to take off her shirt. He gently rolled on top of her so that they could remove his shirt. As soon as it was shed, he leaned down so that he could kiss her bellybutton and she giggled as he trailed kisses along her ticklish stomach. She wasn't going to let him stay in control the whole time so she rolled towards him, straddling his lap and placing kisses on his neck. Sitting up to remove her bra, she paused as her eyes connected with the scar on his stomach- the scar that she knew was from his accident.
"Nathan…" she whispered as her fingers softly traced the outline.
"Its okay, Hales, it doesn't hurt."
"I know, it's just…"
"Hales," he whispered, bringing his hands up to her cheeks, "don't think about that now. It doesn't matter anymore. What matters is this right here," he said, taking her hand in his to place it over his heart and placing his other hand over hers.
Haley smiled and placed her hands on Nathan's shoulders, pulling him up to her so that their lips could meet. It was easy for her to get lost in the feeling and forget any unhappiness she had just felt. There was nothing else in her life that could compare to the feeling of being in Nathan's arms. No one else could make her feel so loved and protected.
It's not the pale moon that excites me
That thrills and delights me, oh no
It's just the nearness of you
Nathan could feel her heart beating against his chest and it was enough to make him cry. He had dreamt of this moment every night for the past few months. Nothing felt more right than having her in his arms and being overcome with passion. The only way he was going to make it through the next three months was by remembering this moment vividly and knowing that it would be waiting for him when he returned.
It isn't your sweet conversation
That brings this sensation, oh no
It's just the nearness of you
Finally all their clothes had been shed and they were finally one, completely unaware of anything else but each other. They held onto each other tightly, not wanting to let go. Not wanting to let the moment end, but even as it did they held onto the warmth that spread through their bodies.
When you're in my arms and I feel you so close to me
All my wildest dreams come true
The rest of the night was spent making love and sleeping, making up for lost time just as Nathan had planned. They didn't let go of each other; each quietly dreading the next morning when they would have to say goodbye. Finally at four in the morning, just a few hours before the alarm was set to wake them up, they fell into a deep sleep. Haley's head rested tenderly on Nathan's chest, his arm protectively draped around her back and holding her against him.
I need no soft lights to enchant me
If you'll only grant me the right
To hold you ever so tight
And to feel in the night the nearness of you
Their breathing became synchronized and they each let their dreams replay the pleasure filled moments they had just experienced.
So, as you've just read, I'm slowly bringing together all of the characters and finishing their stories from the season finale- I do have a plan in my head (us writers always have plans! And it's a damn good plan if I do say so myself!) and all of the main characters will be brought together soon. I'm also a Brucas and Jeyton supporter- so that will probably be how it all plays out!
Also, if you've noticed, I love bringing back the items that truly define Nathan and Haley's relationship. I mean the bracelet needs to make a comeback! Haha...
The song in this fic was "The Nearness of You" by Norah Jones
Kylie
