Harry Potter and the Mind Mage
By James Milamber
A/N: Does anyone have a chainsaw I can borrow? I need to destroy ff.net's mainframe for not letting me upload this chapter when I wanted to (which was right after the last chapter, by the way – it should have been a double update!). For some strange reason it will only let me access my account if I link from gpotter's story Colours of the Forest (I tried EVERY other story on my favorites list, and that was the only one that worked...go figure).
Disclaimer: I do NOT own "A Guide To Hexes, Curses, and Spells: The How To, Where To, When To, And Why In Merlin's Name To, By The Lord And Lady Hex". That particular piece of brilliance belongs to Saerry Snape, author of the "Not Myself" series Severitus Challenge fic, which currently spans all seven books, about 200 chapters and God knows how many words. If you haven't already, go read it! The Lord and Lady Hex are, of course, Slyth Harry and Niamh O'Feir respectively.
Dree: That was NOT a spelling mistake! Hermione was just…erm… flowing thickly (WTF?). Alright, so it was a mistake. Bah! And yes, I realise that I spelled Parselmouth wrong! I don't have the second book to look it up! Grumble grumble…
Anywho, enough insanity for one chapter (or maybe not…the twins are in this one…bah). Shut up, James, get on with it!
'That was awesome,' Ron said as they entered the Great Hall for lunch. 'I got to Stun Crabbe, right in front of a teacher! Pity he didn't put up a bit more of a fight, I suppose it must be difficult for a baboon to remember spells though.'
Harry laughed as they sat at the Gryffindor table. Ginny was already there; she smiled at Harry as he sat.
'How was it?' she asked casually.
The trio looked at each other, then smiled. 'Best Defense lesson ever,' Harry said firmly, then launched into the story of the duels. Ginny smirked when he told her of Draco's fate, and laughed aloud when Ron finished describing Hermione's torture session with Bulstrode.
'Serves her right,' she said, glancing sidelong at Ron who was watching Hermione with something very close to adoration in his expression. Ginny caught Harry's eyes, and winked at him. They all shared a laugh as Pansy entered the hall, a scowl on her face under heavy bandages. Apparently, Cassie's hex hadn't worn off yet.
'Good one,' Ginny giggled when Cassie explained what she had done to the Slytherin girl.
'S'cuse us a moment,' Alex said, motioning to his twin. Cassie grinned, and the two hurried off towards the Slytherin table.
'Alright Harry, spill,' Hermione ordered, her face alive with curiosity. 'How did you summon that Anaconda? That spell is only supposed to summon a common carpet snake.'
'Dunno, exactly,' Harry shrugged. 'I found out about it last year, when I was practicing for the DA one night. I wanted to see if I could do that spell, because I remembered Malfoy using it against me in second year at the Dueling club. When I cast the spell, the Anaconda kind of slithered out of the end of my wand, sat there on the floor and asked me if I wanted anything.' He shrugged again. 'Nice enough Anaconda, really, except that it insists on calling me "Master".'
'It was the same one?' Hermione asked, startled.
'Close as I could tell, yeah,' Harry said, a little surprised by her reaction. 'Why, is that important?'
'It shouldn't even be an Anaconda, much less the same one twice!' Hermione fretted.
'Erm…about a dozen times, actually,' Harry said sheepishly. 'It was a nice snake!' he defended himself when everyone turned to stare at him.
'Maybe it's because he's a Parselmouth,' Ginny suggested. 'Maybe the spell works differently for him than a normal person.'
'So I'm not normal now?' Harry asked with a half smile.
'Oh no, definitely not,' Ginny said playfully.
'Later, children,' Hermione said absently, obviously still struggling with the whole idea. Alex and Cassie, who had just returned, seemed to think this was tremendously funny and burst out laughing, earning a glare from the bushy haired girl.
'What did we do?' they asked in unison, wearing identical looks of exaggerated innocence. Hermione's lips twitched as a smile threatened to form.
'Stop that,' she scolded.
'We're sorry,' they said, lowering their heads contritely. Hermione sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose.
'What did I do to deserve this?' she muttered.
'Aww, cheer up Hermy,' Alex grinned at her.
'Yeah, don't mind us,' Cassie agreed.
'We're just here to brighten your day with smiles and laughter,' Alex continued.
'Absolutely harmless fun, that'll make all this more bearable,' Cassie finished.
'Thanks,' said Hermione sourly. 'And if you call me "Hermy" again, I'll hex you.'
The twins looked at each other, then at Hermione. 'Yes, Hermy,' they said in unison.
Hermione's head hit the table with a solid thunk as a shriek echoed through the hall from the Slytherin table and Pansy bolted from the hall, her hands grabbing at her bandages, which had been transfigured into snakes.
'I thought Slytherin's liked snakes,' Alex said in an injured tone, and everyone within earshot burst out laughing.
========
The rest of Harry's day was fairly easy. He had a double free period after lunch, which he assumed was when his "class" would take place. After that was double Transfiguration, which mostly consisted of taking notes. Only Ron was in this class with him; he was pleased to find that Transfiguration was a mixed class, consisting of all four houses, and Malfoy was not present.
As he and Ron were leaving, McGonagall stopped him. 'The Headmaster would like to see you after dinner, Potter,' she said simply.
When Harry finished dinner, he briefly told his friends about his meeting and stood to leave. Ginny followed him, catching him on the marble staircase.
'Need some company?' she offered, falling into stride beside him.
'Sure,' he shrugged casually, although his head and heart were screaming at him. The problem was, they were screaming very different things.
'Sorry about yesterday,' she said as they reached the top of the staircase and turned right. 'But you looked so cute I couldn't resist.'
Harry almost choked on the word "cute". He noticed that Ginny was blushing bright red, obviously embarrassed.
'That's alright,' he said finally. 'I've had worse.'
She giggled, then tentatively slipped her hand into his. Her hand was small and warm, and Harry gave it a small squeeze of reassurance.
They reached the gargoyle, and once again Harry realised he didn't have the password. 'Why didn't McGonagall…' he started, but as soon as he spoke the gargoyle sprang aside to reveal the moving staircase. Harry stared at it with one eyebrow raised.
'That was easy,' Ginny remarked as they were carried to the ornate door at the top of the staircase. Harry knocked, and Dumbledore's voice came from within. 'Come in Harry, Ginny.'
Harry pushed the door open to find Dumbledore sitting as usual behind his desk. Standing off to one side was Tonks, today with deep purple hair, and next to her was Remus Lupin.
'Professor!' Harry exclaimed, releasing Ginny's hand and hurrying over to the werewolf. Lupin smiled wanly.
'Hello Harry,' he said, his voice almost dead. Harry stopped in his tracks.
'Professor?' he asked tentatively.
'I'm not your Professor anymore, Harry,' Lupin said with a half smile. 'Please call me Remus.'
'Okay,' Harry said uncertainly.
'Besides, I think I should be the one calling you "Professor",' he added.
'Oh,' Harry shrugged. 'Not entirely my idea.'
'Hello Remus,' Ginny said, coming to stand beside Harry and slipping her hand into his again. Remus looked at them both, and a smile threatened to cross his worn face.
'Wotcher Harry, Ginny,' Tonks said with a smirk.
Dumbledore cleared his throat. 'Harry, a moment of your time?'
'Of course,' Harry said, although he was reluctant to leave Lupin.
'I'd better be going,' Lupin said, quickly making for the door. 'I'll be in touch,' he said to Dumbledore, then he was gone.
The Headmaster gazed after him for a moment. 'That's the closest to smiling I've seen him since Sirius died,' he said quietly.
His Godfather's name hit Harry like a punch in the gut. It had been some time since he had last thought of him, and he now felt a little guilty for forgetting him so easily. He cleared his throat painfully, swallowing hard and sat on one of the chairs in front of Dumbledore's desk.
'What did you want to see me about?' he asked dully. Ginny sat in the chair next to him and took his hands in her own, squeezing gently.
'I'm sorry, Harry,' Dumbledore said sympathetically. 'I know you are hurting from this, and I want to help any way I can.'
'If you want to help then talk about something else!' Ginny said testily, being the only one who could feel Harry's hands rhythmically clenching and unclenching.
'Very well,' Dumbledore said, lifting a heavy book from his desk. 'This is for you, Harry.'
The book was bound with black leather, with gold trim outlining the borders of the cover and spine. Emblazoned across the front of silver letters was the inscription, "A Guide To Hexes, Curses, and Spells: The How To, Where To, When To, And Why In Merlin's Name To, By The Lord And Lady Hex".
'What you hold there is one of only two copies of that book in existence,' Dumbledore said, watching Harry carefully. 'I don't think the Lord and Lady would be too pleased if anything happened to it.'
'You know them?' Harry asked, looking up from the book. Dumbledore was more than a little relieved to see the dead look had been replaced by one of curiosity.
The Headmaster chuckled. 'Indeed I do,' he said with a twinkle in his eye. 'Very well indeed.'
'I'll take care of it,' Harry promised, opening the book at a random page and reading the spell written there. It was a spell that mummified the victim in duct tape. Harry blinked and read the spell again, just to make sure he hadn't misread it.
'They do have some peculiar ideas,' Dumbledore said, watching Harry's reaction in amusement. 'The Lady in particular is known to be particularly vicious at times.'
'I can see that,' Harry said, flipping through the book to find more spells, some gruesome, some merely amusing.
'I thought the book might help when you begin your class next week,' Dumbledore continued.
'Next week?' Harry's head jerked up. 'So soon?'
'Whatever happened to talking things over? Or is your memory that short?' Ginny asked in a voice that made Harry wince.
'Miss Weasley, I am Headmaster here, and I am in charge of compiling a timetable that works for everyone, not just Harry Potter,' Dumbledore said seriously. 'There are many students eager to begin classes with Harry, and the sooner we start the more prepared the students will be.'
'It's okay Ginny,' Harry put a hand on her shoulder when she looked ready to retort. 'Where?' he asked the Headmaster.
'There are several spare classrooms in the Defense wing,' Dumbledore answered. 'They are all at your disposal. Perhaps you could use a different classroom for each aspect of your classes, one for spell work, one for fencing, and one for unarmed combat.'
Harry nodded. 'Sounds good,' he said, looking down at the book in his hands again.
'So you want me to teach you lot to fence, huh?' Tonks grinned cheekily. 'Don't know if it's possible, really. Bunch of clumsy oafs from the looks.'
'You're one to talk,' Harry smiled. 'I remember when you lot came to pick me up last year from the Dursleys, the first thing I heard was you breaking something.'
Tonks laughed. 'Shh! You're not supposed to mention that.'
'Sorry,' Harry smirked.
'He's right though,' Ginny added. 'Remember when you tried to help mum last Christmas?'
Tonks winced, raising her hands in surrender. 'Okay, I give up!' she laughed. 'I can't beat a Weasley female, your mother taught me that.'
'No one can,' Harry said, grinning at Ginny, who stuck her tongue out at him.
Dumbledore cleared his throat again, looking amused at their antics. 'Now that's all settled, if I could have my office back…?'
'Sorry sir,' Harry grinned. 'We're going.' He extended his hand to Ginny, and, smiling, she took it. They headed for the door, followed by Tonks.
'Keep them out of mischief,' he called to Tonks as she slipped out the door. The young Auror turned back briefly and winked.
Dumbledore shook his head and smiled.
A/N: I just got back from seeing Spiderman 2! Bloody brilliant movie, better than the first one! Can't wait for the third movie! Yay!
