Author's Note - I just wanted to thank everyone ahead of time for the great reviews last UD. I know it's been a little longer than usual, but good old life and classes got in the way! Just wanted to thank all of you, and my girls over at FF for being so supportive! This Chapter is a little emotional, but easily my favorite one. I hope you enjoy and have lots to say!

Chapter 14 – Answer

Nathan felt absolutely helpless. No, he didn't just feel it – he was. In the past five hours since they arrived home from the hospital, Haley had just stayed in bed without saying a word to him at all. He didn't blame her thought because he didn't really know what to say either. The doctor had told him that the next 72 hours would be difficult and Nathan didn't doubt his words for a minute.

As he stood now in the doorway of their bedroom looking at the temporarily peaceful, sleeping form of her body he couldn't help but wonder if the next few days could get any worse than this. He hated seeing Haley suffering and it hurt because he was suffering just as much.

Nathan glanced at a shopping bag at the foot of their bed. He had completely forgotten about making the quick stop on the way home from work yesterday. Kneeling down in front of the bag, he removed its contents – a child's sized basketball. It had been such a good day at work and as Nathan had been practicing with the kids he couldn't help but get excited over the fact that one day he would be able to share it with his own child. So he had stopped to pick up the basketball, not able to suppress his excitement any longer.

The sheets rustled and Nathan glanced up at the bed, only to be met with Haley's big brown eyes. "Hey you," he said, trying his best to place a smile on his face.

"Hey," she replied. "What do you have there?" she asked, motioning to what he was holding in his hands.

Nathan shoved the basketball back into the bag, not knowing exactly how Haley would react to seeing it. "Oh, nothing. Just something I picked up after work."

"Nathan, please don't baby me. That's the last thing I need right now." She immediately regretted the words when she saw the hurt look on his face. She hadn't meant for it to sound that way, had she? "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that." She felt like crying all over again, but she didn't think it was possible to have anything left. She had cried more in the past few hours than she had in her whole entire life.

Nathan sat down next to her on the bed, pulling her into his arms. "You don't have to be sorry, Hales. You're right, I shouldn't be sheltering you. Trust me, it wasn't my intention at all."

Haley cradled into his neck tighter as his hand found its way to the back of her neck, bringing her even closer towards him. "I know it wasn't, I do. I just hate this, hate feeling like this."

"I know, baby," Nathan kissed the top of her head and could feel the faint warmth of her lips on his neck. "Let me show you what's in the bag."

"It's okay, you don't have to." Haley leaned back, brushing her hand gently over his cheek.

"No, I want to." Nathan scooted further back on the bed and pulled Haley into his lap, where she immediately snuggled into his chest. Her arms reached around his chest, her hands clinging to the fabric of his shirt. As he reached for the floor where he had discarded the bag, he could feel Haley's lips brush gently across his cheek. He couldn't help but turn towards her and kiss her forehead ever so softly. Pulling the basketball out of the bag, he carefully brought it into Haley's lap and set it down on her legs. He heard the breath catch in her throat when she realized what it was.

"Oh Nathan…" she choked out, her fingers reaching forward to lightly touch the leathery surface of the ball.

"I know, Hales, that's why I didn't want to show you at first."

"No, Nathan, it's just so sweet that you did this. It's just a little hard to take right now, that's all. It's so unfair, I can't understand what we did to deserve this." She shook her head, her hand coming up to rest on her lips.

Nathan reached his hand up the back of her neck, gently massaging it. "I know, baby, I know." He moved the basketball to the side, pulling her towards his chest and cradling her in his arms. "But we didn't do anything to deserve this, it just happened and there was nothing we could have done to stop it. The doctor told us that and we have to believe that."

"I know, Nathan, it's just that I really wanted this baby. I know that we're in high school and it would have been crazy and a lot to deal with, but I wanted this for us."

Nathan took Haley's face in his hands, forcing her to bring her eyes to his own. "And we will have that one day, Haley. One day we're going to be able to give this basketball to our little boy or girl and that child is going to be the luckiest in the world to have you as a mom. And maybe to have me as a dad, I haven't decided yet."

Haley shook her head. "I have, I mean just the fact that you bought this proves how good of a dad you're going to be. I just wish you could be realizing that sooner rather than later." Haley rested her head against Nathan's shoulder, craving the warmth that somehow only his body provided her.

"We'll have it soon enough, Hales, and I can't wait for that day." He kissed her forehead before continuing, "Now how are you feeling? I mean physically, of course. I mean is there anything I can do?"

"I feel okay, I guess. Just really tired, I feel like I could sleep for years." Haley reached for his shirt, playing with the material between her fingers. "You called my parents, right?"

"Yeah, they couldn't find a soon enough flight so they are just going to drive. They should probably be here by tomorrow night. They both said to tell you how much they love you and to be strong for them."

Haley couldn't help but laugh. "I don't think I know the meaning of that word right now."

Nathan reached down to where her hand was still playing with his shirt, causing her to play with his fingers instead. "Don't say that. You know I'm here for you, right? I would do anything for you, whatever you need."

"That's just it. I don't know what it is that I need right now."

"Does that include me?" Nathan asked hesitantly.

Haley hadn't meant for it to sound that way and she quickly threw her arms around his neck, kissing his cheek and then his neck. "You already know the answer to that." She couldn't help the tears from escaping, running down her cheeks and dampening his shoulder. "You're the one thing I need the most, the only thing getting me through this. I couldn't do it without you."

Nathan pulled back from her and wiped away her tears. "You never have to worry about that, never. Do you hear me?" She nodded as Nathan wiped a few more tears that had escaped. "God, don't cry, Hales. I can't stand it."

"I'm just so tired," Haley whispered, resting her forehead against his.

Nathan nodded and carefully picked her up so that he could place her under the covers. He pulled them up to her chin and kissed her forehead. "I'm going to make a quick phone call and then I'll be right back to hold you in my arms, okay?"

He waited for Haley to nod her response before heading to the kitchen, knowing there was only one person who could get through to Haley right now.


Nathan was just finally starting to relax, Haley curled up protectively in his arms, when he heard the doorbell ring. He climbed slowly off the bed and as Haley reached out to him he whispered, "I'll be right back."

He walked quickly to the door and was so relieved to see the woman standing behind it.

"Oh Nathan," was all she could get out.

"Karen," Nathan replied, as she pulled him into her arms. "Thank you so much for coming." Nathan knew that Haley had needed to talk to someone else besides him, and with her parents being so far away he knew that person was Karen. She had always been so close with Haley and had always been like a second mother to her, and in the past few months she had become just like that to him as well.

"Of course, Nathan. How's she handling it, how are you handling it?"

"She's not doing so well. I mean, not that I expected her to just get over it, but she's really tired and has been in bed since we got home. And me, well I'm just trying to be there for her." He brought his hand up to gently rub his temple, suddenly aware of the headache that had been hiding there.

"Well, it's understandable that she's so tired, she's been through so much today physically and mentally. And you, you have to be feeling some things also. Have you eaten anything in awhile, either or you?"

Nathan shook his head, not even able to remember the last time they ate.

Karen reached out and gently rubbed his shoulder. "How about you go make something light to eat, maybe soup if you have any? And I'll go talk to Haley for awhile, how does that sound?"

"That sounds good, thanks Karen, I really didn't know who else to call."

"Well, I'm glad that you called me. It means a lot to me."

Nathan nodded. "Me too." Nathan led Karen back towards their bedroom, gently waking Haley by softly stroking her cheek.

Haley instantly gravitated to Karen's arms and Nathan silently left the room, knowing that she was in good hands.

"How ya doing, kiddo?" Karen asked as she pulled back from Haley, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Not so good, I just don't know how to deal with all of this."

"Well, I don't really think there is a wrong or a right way, Haley. It's just one of those situations where you have to act how you feel; cry if you feel sad, scream at the top or your lungs if your angry, and laugh if there's anything at all that makes you happy within the next few days. It's the only way you'll get through this, by being true to yourself and those around you. And you have such a wonderful support group, I heard your parents are going to be coming tomorrow. And you have me and all of your friends, we're always here for you. Then of course you have that amazing husband out there, who would do just about anything to see one smile on your face right now."

"I know, he's been so good. I mean, he knew to call you and that's so wonderful because I really needed a motherly figure right now. Thank you so much, Karen. I hope Andy didn't mind you coming over here in the middle of the night."

Karen shook her head. "Not at all, he knew it was for a very good reason. You know I'm always here for you, no matter what time of day or night. And you have to promise me something."

"What?" Haley asked.

"That you'll help me be there for Nathan. Men don't show their feelings as much as we women do, but that doesn't mean they aren't feeling them in the first place."


Nathan sat at the kitchen table, the phone in his hand, dreading the call he was about to make. He dialed the numbers quickly and pressed send before his mind could convince him otherwise. It rang three times before she picked up, the fact that she had been asleep evident in her voice.

"Hello?" she asked.

Nathan took a deep breath. "Hey Mom, it's me."

"Nathan? What's the matter?" the concern was obvious in her voice. Deb was suddenly on alert, afraid of what news Nathan was calling so late to tell her.

"She lost it, Mom." Was all he could say.

"Lost what, Nate?" her mind wasn't fully able to comprehend what he was trying to say.

"The baby, Mom. Haley lost the baby." He felt the tears beginning to roll down his cheeks, the warmth surprising him, but he did nothing to stop the already steady flow of them.

There was a pause on the other end as she allowed the news to sink in. "Oh God, Nathan, I'm so sorry. I don't know what to say. Let me get dressed and come over there."

Nathan shook his head even though he knew she couldn't see him. "No, Mom, it's okay. I just wanted to call, to tell you."

"Are you sure, Nate? It wouldn't take me very long." She had already gotten out of bed, trying to find her shoes somewhere in her room.

"No, Mom, it's fine. I just needed to tell you. Maybe you can stop by tomorrow. I'll call you in the morning, okay?"

Deb sat down on the edge of the bed. "Okay, Nathan." She knew that if he wanted her there he would ask her to come and she didn't want to push the issue. "Call me if you need anything at all. I love you and give Haley my best."

"I will and I love you too. Bye." Nathan disconnected and placed the phone down in front of him.

As hard as he tried, the tears continued to flow down his cheeks and every so often a sob would escape from his chest. He couldn't even remember the last time he had cried, but he had never lost something this important. Never truly experienced pain such as this.

The only thing left for him to do was bury his face in his hands and cry for the baby that he never even had the chance to hold.


I will be the answer at the end of the line
I will be there for you while you take the time
In the burning of uncertainty, I will be your solid ground
I will hold the balance if you can't look down

If it takes my whole life
I won't break, I won't bend
It'll all be worth it
Worth it in the end
'Cause I can only tell you what I know
That I need you in my life
When the stars have all gone out
You'll still be burning so bright

Cast me gently into morning
For the night has been unkind
Take me to a place so holy
That I can wash this from my mind
The memory of choosing not to fight

If it takes my whole life
I won't break, I won't bend
It'll all be worth it
Worth it in the end
'Cause I can only tell you what I know
That I need you in my life
When the stars have all burned out
You'll still be burning so bright

Cast me gently into morning
For the night has been unkind

- "Answer" by Sarah McLachlan


Thanks again for reading, I know it was pretty emotional but that's how I wanted it to come across. Can't wait to see what you all have to say!