October arrived, spreading a damp chill over the grounds and into the castle. Madam Pomfrey, the nurse, was kept busy by a sudden spate of colds among the staff and students. Her Pepperup potion worked instantly, though it left the drinker smoking at the ears for several hours afterward. Ginny Weasley, who had been looking pale, was bullied into taking some by Percy. The steam pouring from under her vivid hair gave the impression that her whole head was on fire. Dudley was given a reprieve from Colin Creevey following him around and pestering him since the small boy had to go to the hospital wing. The only thing that had stopped Dudley from lamping him was because he kept praising him which boosted his ego.
Raindrops the size of bullets thundered on the castle windows for days on end; the lake rose, the flower beds turned into muddy streams, and Hagrid's pumpkins swelled to the size of garden sheds. Oliver Wood's enthusiasm for regular training sessions, however, was not dampened, which was why Dudley and Dean were without Ron late one stormy Saturday afternoon a few days before Halloween. While Ron, George and Ron were at quidditch training, they had gone to visit the kitchens—Fred and George told them how to get there a few days ago.
Dudley had been amazed to see it was populated by dozens of house elfs, all eager to serve. Both he and Dean had left with huge piles of food and were taking them back to the dorm room for a snack.
They came across Nearly Headless Nick, the ghost of Gryffindor Tower, was staring morosely out of a window, muttering under his breath, "...don't fulfill their requirements... half an inch, if that..."
"Hello, Nick," said Dean.
"Hello, hello," said Nearly Headless Nick, starting and looking round. He wore a dashing, plumed hat on his long curly hair, and a tunic with a ruff, which concealed the fact that his neck was almost completely severed. He was pale as smoke, and Dudley could see right through him to the dark sky and torrential rain outside.
"What can I do for you, Dursley and Thomas?" said Nick, folding a transparent letter as he spoke and tucking it inside his doublet.
"What's wrong?" said Dean.
Dudley clicked his tongue. He was hungry and wanted to start eating, not stand around talking to ghosts.
"Ah," Nearly Headless Nick waved an elegant hand, "a matter of no importance... It's not as though I really wanted to join... Thought I'd apply, but apparently I don't fulfill requirements'-" In spite of his airy tone, there was a look of great bitterness on his face.
"But you would think, wouldn't you," he erupted suddenly, pulling the letter back out of his pocket, "that getting hit forty-five times in the neck with a blunt axe would qualify you to join the Headless Hunt?"
"Oh - yes," said Dudley and Dean, who were obviously supposed to agree.
"I mean, nobody wishes more than I do that it had all been quick and clean, and my head had come off properly, I mean, it would have saved me a great deal of pain and ridicule. However -" Nearly Headless Nick shook his letter open.
Dudley sighed. He lived with Vernon. He recognized a long rant when it was coming. "Come on, Dean, we need to study," he said, firmly, dragging Dean away and leaving a very indignant Nearly-Headless Nick behind. He took a bite out of his bun as he walked. "As if we care about ghostly goings on," he muttered to Dean.
There was a high-pitched mewling from somewhere near Dudley's ankles. He looked down and found himself gazing into a pair of lamp-like yellow eyes. It was Mrs. Norris, the skeletal gray cat who was used by the caretaker, Argus Filch, as a sort of deputy in his endless battle against students.
"Get out of it." Dudley kicked out at Mrs. Norris and she hissed but didn't retreat.
"Go away!" Dudley threw the rest of his bun at the cat, hitting it on the head.
Drawn to the spot by the mysterious power that seemed to connect him with his foul cat, Argus Filch burst suddenly through a tapestry to Dudley's right, wheezing and looking wildly about for the rule-breaker. There was a thick tartan scarf bound around his head, and his nose was unusually purple.
"What do you think you're doing?" he snarled, jowls quivering. "Throwing things at my cat! I've had it up to here with you lot. UP TO HERE!"
"You, clear orf," he said, jabbing a finger at me.
"And you, you come with me. Oh I long for the days when I can have you swinging from your toes you dirty little rodent," Filch muttered. He scooped up Mrs. Norris, who was covered in crumbs, and led the way downstairs.
Dudley had never been inside Filch's office before; it was a place most students avoided. The room was dingy and windowless, lit by a single oil lamp dangling from the low ceiling. A faint smell of fried fish lingered about the place. Wooden filing cabinets stood around the walls; from their labels, Dudley could see that they contained details of every pupil Filch had ever punished. Fred and George Weasley had an entire drawer to themselves. A highly polished collection of chains and manacles hung on the wall behind Filch's desk. It was common knowledge that he was always begging Dumbledore to let him suspend students by their ankles from the ceiling.
"Name … Dudley Dursley. Crime … assaulting my cat."
"It was only a cake!"
"Only a cake! You could have had her eye out! You covered my poor sweetie in crumbs."
Dudley fumed silently as Filch wrote out his detention form.
"Back to your common room," the caretaker growled. "And if you catch me throwing things at my cat again, you'll be sorry."
Dudley was in a bad mood as he returned to the corridor. He half considered heading off to find Malfoy or Nott. He hadn't had the chance to bully Nott yet this year.
He wasn't looking where he was going and collided with a smaller boy. "Ow."
"Sorry," the boy said, smiling.
His heart sank. It was Colin Creevey. While Dudley sometimes got an ego boost from the boy's praise and sucking up, he also found his presence extremely annoying.
"What's wrong? You look annoyed," Colin said.
"Beat it Colin," Dudley said, walking off. He wasn't in the mood to have someone chattering at him.
Much to his annoyance, Colin fell in beside him, his little legs pounding to keep up.
"I was meaning to ask, can you show me some of the secret passages?" he asked. "I heard Seamus saying that you knew some."
"No. Get lost."
"What's wrong?"
Dudley ground his teeth, usually when he told Colin to scram, he did so. When then today was he being clingier than usual?
Suddenly feeling angry at Filch for giving him a detention and at Colin for always hanging around, Dudley pivoted on his heel and slammed his fist as hard as he could into Dudley's stomach.
The small boy cried out as he doubled over in pain. He fell to his knees.
"Leave me alone or you'll get worse," Dudley snarled. He considered hitting Colin again but stopped himself. He didn't want to go overboard. One solid punch was enough.
Leaving Colin crying on the floor, Dudley stalked off back to Gyffindor Tower. At the entrance, he stood aside as Ginny and, to his surprise, Luna exited.
"Hi Dudley," Ginny greeted him, sounding a bit hoarse.
"I didn't know other houses were allowed in here," Dudley said in surprise.
Luna grinned. "Oh yes, we can't know the password, of course, but we can visit. I'm glad too, otherwise I wouldn't have any friends. Come on Gin!"
Dudley watched the two leave. He was a little surprised at their friendship. Luna was odd whereas Ginny seemed quite normal. She reminded him a bit of a female Fred and George—making jokes with the other girls in her year, playing pranks (Dudley had caught her filling one of the twins' hats which they had left in the common room up with soil) and getting up to mischief. She was definitely following in the twins' footsteps when it came to exploring the castle—already she had gotten a detention from Filch after he caught her trying to open a secret passage which led into his office.
So to see her hanging around with Loony Lovegood struck Dudley as surprising. He thought she would have cooler friends.
