Lee's side of the story
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Chapter 9
After Amanda's walk with Dean, she returned back to her bedroom and shut the door. She plopped on the bed to think in the quietness of the room. Staring up at the ceiling, she felt miserable. She wanted to feel happy, but it felt as if her personal life was in such disarray.
Could she ever learn to love Dean? She pondered. Sure he was kind and caring, but there always seemed to be a gap of awkwardness between them; like she was being held back from being herself.
And then there was Lee.
She could pretend all she wanted that she didn't have feelings for him, but her heart kept telling her otherwise. However, he has made it clear on many occasions that he was not emotionally available. Yet there were other times when he showed how much he cared, and the mixed messages were driving her crazy.
She looked at the clock on her nightstand. It would be quite a few hours before she would meet up with Lee at their little rendezvous spot. And she could hardly wait.
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It was the early morning hour as Lee sat on the lone bench underneath the big tree. Waiting. He glanced down at his watch. 3am on the dot.
So much has changed happened in the last 48 hours, including a murder. He wondered if Amanda would even show up.
Then his head shot up when he heard some soft footsteps.
His anticipation was at an all-time high when he saw through the darkness a feminine silhouette approaching him. She moved out of the shadows and Lee actually felt his skin tingle upon recognition when she stood in front of him.
"Amanda."
She slightly smiled, "Lee, hello, Lee."
Amanda was dressed casually in a bathrobe, and yet there was something still so fresh and sensually attractive about her, Lee internalized and then inwardly grimaced, when she wasn't being nosy and interfering, that is.
"Have a seat, Amanda," he invited her, relieved that she showed up.
They sat in silence for a time, viewing the blanket of stars that seemed to stretch to infinity. Both found the shared moment comforting.
At last, Lee broke the silence, "So...how was your walk with Dean earlier?"
"It was...fine," Amanda awkwardly stated, "We had a good talk."
"What about?" Lee inquired, and then waved that question aside, "No, forget I asked that. Sorry. It's really none of my business."
"Actually some of what we talked about did involve you," she surprisingly responded back.
"Oh?" Lee wondered, as he turned her way to watch her profile.
Amanda's pulse quickened when she felt his eyes on her. She continued to stare forward, afraid her eyes would give away what she was secretly thinking.
She worked up her nerves by clearing her throat, "Yeah, so we were talking about you leading the investigation, and I suggested to Dean that perhaps I could help you."
Amanda then bravely turned to face him in time to see his jaw tighten.
"No," he simply stated, and then quickly followed up with, "but thank you, Amanda."
So it was going to be like that, Amanda determined, Another time that she would have to argue with Lee about being involved.
"Why not? Why can't I help you?" Amanda questioned, "after all, I've been with you on a few missions, and they have been really successful and-"
Lee held up his hand to stop her from continuing, "Spare me the sales talk, Amanda. No doubt you'd be useful, but we're not supposed to even know each other, remember? So what possible reason would I have to bring you in on a murder investigation?"
"Welllll," Amanda was thinking, "you did it because..." she gave it more thought, "because..."
"Yes? Go on..."
"Because, oh I don't know!" Amanda stated, "What if I help you secretly? You know,...help you without anyone else knowing I was doing it?"
"So you want to help me secretly without family members knowing?" Lee playfully stated, "I'm sensing this is a pattern with you, Amanda."
She frustratingly crossed her arms, "Well, I never was so secretive before... until I met you!"
He laughed, "Yeah, it's always my fault somehow. Anyway, we could argue back and forth about this, but here's the best argument for you not helping with the investigation."
Amanda knew she wouldn't like it, "What?"
"I don't think McGuire would like you working alongside me. I have a sneaking suspicion he doesn't like me very much."
It was true, but there was still a disappointing lump in her throat as she held her head up. She hated that he was right, and she out of arguments for her side.
Lee watched her reaction; she may have given up, but she did it with dignity. He admired her for being a trooper; she didn't whine and she didn't try to over-talk him when she knew she had lost the argument.
"So no more talk of helping?" he had to make sure.
She gave a defeated sigh, "I suppose not; I could see why we wouldn't be able to explain away my helping you."
He was relieved, yet couldn't understand why he felt so bad.
"Thank you, for understanding, Amanda'."
"Well, maybe it's for the best, anyway. I figure you have enough on your mind without me trying to interfere," she glumly stated.
Leave it to Amanda to think about other people. At that moment, Lee wanted to hug her.
Instead, he looked up to the sky, as if he would find the answer up there.
Although Lee was enjoying the quietude of the stars, he was actually thinking of Amanda. She really deserved so much better than boring Dean or a commitment-phobe like himself.
So for once, Lee was going to be honest with her.
Because he did care for her, more than he would want to admit.
"Lee? What are you thinking about?" she broke into his thoughts
"I'm thinking..." he stated, still pensively looking up, "that there are times when I think of you like one of those tiny stars in my life, but then I realize, like tonight... that you are my entire sky."
Amanda's eyes widened.
His unexpected, honest remark took her breath away. And then he was staring intensely at her. Their eyes locked as tension suddenly vibrated between them and Amanda felt her heart racing.
Then he abruptly stood and she feared their time had come to an end.
"You're...leaving?" Amanda asked, feeling as if a stone had sunk in her stomach.
He reached out his hand to her as his eyes drew her in.
"No. I'd like you to dance with me," he invited her.
Amanda struggled to catch her breath.
"What?"
"Dance with me. Under the stars."
"Here? Now?" she questioned.
"It'll help relieve the tension between us," he stated, referring to his turning down her help, "I promise."
His hand remained outwardly stretched towards her; waiting for her to take it.
For a second he feared she would refuse, but then her hand shakily reached out to grasp his and he gently helped her stand.
Then she quietly stepped into his opened arms.
And they were suddenly slowly swaying back and forth under the twinkling stars. After a short time, their body distance instinctively lessened until suddenly their cheeks touched.
Lee closed his eyes to enjoy her nearness. The scent and feel of her were so familiar yet so intimately different. He recalled the first time they had slowed dance. At the Agency Halloween Party. He had remembered how he found the combination of her squeaky clean image, intelligence, and strong bravado so very intriguing, even back then.
Meanwhile, their physical closeness made Amanda leaned into him in a daze of pleasure. She, too, was recalling the time they had first danced. The feel of being in his arms made her quiver with happiness. No longer was Lee leading her in a dance in the dark while wearing his silk bath-robe; instead, he had turned back into the debonair mysterious man in the black tux who had secrets to reveal and adventures to experience.
The rhythm of their bodies tightened with delicious sensations. The cool night air felt good as it enveloped their warm bodies.
Then all too soon they had stopped swaying and it was over.
They stared at one another for a time. A heat of passion rose in their eyes before time, darkness and the cool air dissipated it.
And they at last reluctantly let go of one another in the hush of the night.
"Thank you, Amanda," Lee gallantly stated.
She smiled, "Thank YOU, Lee. You did make me feel better."
He was looking down at her, admiring the way her eyes sparkled in the softness of the moonlight.
"I'm just sorry there wasn't any real music as we danced," he ruefully stated.
But I did hear music, she secretly whispered to herself.
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The next morning, Amanda woke to the sound of the shower. She figured Dean was taking a shower in the bathroom they both shared at the mansion. A few minutes later, Dean knocked and then opened the door to her bedroom.
"Good morning, Amanda. Are you up?"
Amanda sat up and nodded at him. It was so strange seeing him so early in the morning. Especially since her mind was on someone else.
"I am. But barely."
"I don't know about you, but I can smell the bacon and eggs already downstairs, so I'll be going down ahead of you," Dean noted, "and by the way, I'm done, so the bathroom is yours."
"Thank you, Dean," she politely stated, thinking it was so strange to share a bathroom with a man again.
At least Dean was neat.
After he left, she immediately popped out of bed. Showering and changing quickly, she entered the hallway.
At the same time, Lee was going down the hall. He had gone back to wearing suits again since he was officially heading up an investigation. And he looked really sharp in a deep gray suit with a red tie.
His face instantly lit up when he saw her and then he quickly hid it. Meanwhile, she was trying not to be mesmerized by his slightly-wet, freshly-showered hair.
"Morning, Amanda," he stated, as they walked down the hallway together, "I take it you slept well?"
"Yes," she answered back, "It was most...memorable."
Lee gave her a knowing smile, "For me, as well! I don't know when I slept so well!"
He was so close now that she got a whiff of clean soap. But on him, it smelled so masculine.
Suddenly from behind them, a feminine voice called out Amanda's name.
"Amanda!"
They turned around and were instantly greeted by Daniel's wife, Liz.
"Amanda, I'm so glad I caught you! Can we talk?" she eagerly asked.
"Oh..." Amanda was still in a daze with Lee and was caught unaware, "...of course, Liz. Go ahead."
Liz gave a nervous glance at Lee, "I mean, alone, just the two of us?"
Lee held up his hands in defense, "Fine by me. I'll see you ladies downstairs."
Amanda had to force herself not to have her eyes follow Lee.
Instead, she focused her attention on Liz instead, "What is it that you wanted to talk about?"
Liz looked hesitant, "It's something that I really don't want to discuss out in the hallway."
"Oh, I see," Amanda stated as her stomach started grumbling, "what about we discuss whatever you wanted to say after breakfast? We can come up to my bedroom for some privacy."
Liz agreed, "Sure, let's do that!"
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After breakfast, Amanda and Liz went back to Amanda's bedroom and sat on the bed facing one another.
"So you've earlier stated that you wanted to talk to me about something," Amanda curiously announced, although her head was still in the clouds over the dance with Lee. It made it hard for her to concentrate.
Liz's expression turned very serious.
"Yes, I wanted to talk with you, Amanda, because...you seem so normal."
Amanda showed surprise, "Oh! Um...thank you?"
"No, I mean it. Everyone in this family is so unrelatable. Except for my dear husband Daniel, of course. You aren't fake like the others. You're sincere and warm. I think if you and I met somewhere else, at a different posh setting, we could have been actual friends. But instead, we're stuck here."
"Well, thank you for your trust, Liz," Amanda diplomatically stated.
"I hope you won't judge me," Liz told her and then added, "It's taken me time to work up the nerve, so you should feel privileged that I'm telling you!"
"Uh, okay. I'll try and keep that in mind. So what is it you wanted to talked about?" Amanda asked again, getting slightly impatient now.
"It's concerning the murder of Eunice the maid."
Amanda's interest peaked as she leaned in, "Oh? What about the murder?"
Liz's expression changed to one of trepidation, "Amanda, I want to confess!"
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