Chapter Two

It was around three in the morning when one of the parties of SeeD scouts Squall sent out to locate Ferin returned empty handed to a tired, growling and confused Commander.

Once they had given him the customary SeeD salute, Squall's tired and angered eyes told them at once that they had best give him some good news – any type of news, even remotely good ones, or else they may get their asses handed back to them on a silver platter. Alas for them, there was no good news that could please Squall.

Squall in his angered, not nearly as kind state, ordered that same search party that had been out searching for three hours to search for another three. Squall was angered beyond what any of them could ever understand, and they got off lucky. Other search parties had seen worst sides of Squall that night – mostly his fist. After sending that search party off, Squall drowsily went to his chambers, where a sleeping Rinoa waited.

Squall, in all of his rage and drowsiness and sadness, among all of the emotions and memories that flooded his mind as he began to think more and more of his Matron and Headmaster, managed to notice one tiny detail of his love as she slumbered, a tiny one, but an important one nevertheless. A visual one: she had cried herself to sleep that night. Squall could easily see that her pillow was stained with tears. It would dry by morning, but for now he began to learn so much more of Rinoa that if he hadn't.

She cared. Despite the fact she barely know Matron, she cared.

Squall sighed deeply and muttered a swear to himself as he headed for the bed. He hated it whenever he allowed his emotions to get the better of him, especially when it concerned Rinoa, and even more so when he should be focused on the task at hand, whatever they could be.

Squall undressed and got into his sleeping attire, and lazily got into his bed along with Rinoa, trying his best not to wake her.

Squall couldn't get to sleep right then and there, not after tonight. Not after how he saw a SeeD kill Cid and Matron.

No, Ferin was a SeeD anymore, not in Squall's eyes or anyone else's at Balamb. Ferin was a murderer…a true betrayer in every sense of the word. It was funny, almost ironic, in Squall's eyes how a man who accused people of betrayal was a betrayer in his own right.

And Squall hated the man, almost as much as he hated…still hates Seifer. He didn't understand why he hated the two characters so much. It's been three years since Ultimecia, Squall should have been peace with Seifer, but Squall never thought much of it. At least not until Ferin returned to Balamb. And now, Squall seemed to hate Ferin more than Seifer.

But Squall didn't hate the man just because he murdered the closest thing to a mom and dad he and his friends had ever known…the only thing he and his friends had ever known. They were always in their lives; as far back as he could remember. Cid and Matron were always there. And now, they were gone.

But the reason Squall hated the man most of all was because Ferin used him. Squall believed him. Squall truly thought that Ferin was back by Matron's will. Ferin made Squall used his card key to bring the elevator to Headmaster Cid's office.

Squall actually began to feel a little bit of sympathy for Seifer, although he didn't even seem to know why since there was nothing in his thoughts that could have made Seifer redeemable to Squall. But that moment of sympathy for his rival was just that: a moment.

But, was Squall beginning to forgive Seifer? After all these years of rivalry, of betrayal and hate and mocking Squall's every action, was Squall actually beginning to forgive Seifer? After all, it took Squall only a second to be fascinated by Rinoa in that ballroom three years ago.

…No, that was different. Love and hate are two totally different things. After all that Seifer had done to Squall, and Rinoa, and Balamb, there was probably nothing he could that could make Squall forgive all of his trespasses.

Squall went to sleep dreaming an utmost dark and horrible dream, a dream that was not at all Squall the Lover. It was Squall the Warrior that demanded it…the Hater dreamed of killing Seifer and Ferin. And perhaps worst of all, Squall was glad when he had the dream.

The next day was no better than the night following Cid and Edea's murder. The news media, being the vultures that they are, used the tragedy as a way to get some more viewers (and the all powerful Gil) in their grasp. The Balamb Garden Administration directed them into the auditorium where they (and they being the Administration mind you, not the news media) unanimously decided that Squall, despite him losing two parent figures and barely got any sleep the night before, was the best person to inform the press of what had occurred.

"Shit!" Squall swore when a SeeD student informed him of the news at the eerily empty cafeteria, which odd enough also remained totally unchanged in the reconstruction period of Balamb Garden between the Crash of the Gardens during the Ultimecia Incident and now. "They should damn know that I'm not ready for this." The SeeD student, not wanting to see Squall's ugly side walked off.

"No one would be Squall" Rinoa began, trying to make him realize from the administration's point of view, "But you were kind of there." Squall only frowned as he stuffed another spoonful of oatmeal down his mouth. "Look Squall" continued sternly but with a hint of care in her voice "I…we know you lost a lot last night. And I'm not referring to just your dignity. It's really personal; Cid was the only dad that I've really known."

"What about Caraway? Or did you just forget all about him?" Squall muttered not thinking but when he muttered the words, he knew he hit a spot that he shouldn't of have touched. Hell, he already knew the answer so why did he ask?

Rinoa answered him anyway, even though she was pissed at Squall for the needless comment. "Caraway was not a father but not a dad. Cid…well, he gave me love. Caraway gave me knowledge. Not to say Caraway didn't love me Squall. We, well we just didn't get along like me and Cid did." Rinoa sighed; this topic may just be hurting her as much as it did Squall. "Makes me wonder why Cid didn't come down last night."

"What you mean?"

"I didn't think that Cid was one to stray away from wild celebrations like yesterday's graduation. He always loved festivities. That's probably why he threw so many of them for his students. I think that 'raising student morale' crap was just a big excuse to have the students in one place to have fun." Rinoa sighed again, and leaned back on the chair. She probably wasn't showing it, but this talk about Cid wasn't exactly soothing. But she knew that Squall needed support now.

"He was staying in his office a bit too much. When I was a student, he was never like that." Squall sighed as he ate some more oatmeal. "Now, whenever I tried to get him to take a break, he'd say something like 'I've got too much work Squall. Now, why don't you just get going to Rinoa? Or will I have to order you to get to her?' His words sounded like Cid, but his tone didn't. He sounded almost sad."

"Well, regardless of what his feelings, the advice sounded good to me Squall."

Squall just growled a whatever as he finished his oatmeal. For the next couple of hours, before the big press meeting, Squall and Rinoa just talked. The subject didn't matter to them, just as long as it wasn't Cid or Edea or death or anything else that made them uncomfortable, they were just content with being with each other. They really just needed to get their minds off the events that have been happening.

They finally got talking about how Irvine would always flirt with Rinoa just to get Squall to go on and on about 'SeeDs not allowed to show relationships with other SeeDs while in presence of commanding officer' which everyone knew was total crap. Then Rinoa would usually go of to Irvine, give him a kiss on the cheek, and say something along the lines of 'Well Squall, that's nice and all, but I'm not a SeeD'. Squall would just stare at her, and throw out a whatever as he walked off.

Then, Zell ran into the cafeteria towards his two friends. "Guys, we've got a problem! Some kid committed suicide."

"What the hell are you talking about Zell?" Squall blurted out, the bad news so off topic of what he and Rinoa were just talking about.

"It was some fifteen year old. He hung himself from some duct tape, although no one knows how the tape managed to hold his weight. From what his roommate told me, the kid was pretty hysterical when he heard the news about Cid and Matron. The thing is, he and Cid and Matron were never that close. Hell, I don't think Matron and Cid even knew the poor kid even existed."

"God, it makes no sense" Rinoa muttered under her breath. She always was one to get all quiet and sensitive when suicide became a sudden topic.

"Yeah" Zell agreed". "He came from some really prestigious family in Galbadia or something like that. Transferred here from a military school down there."

"Damn" Squall whispered to himself, but it was loud enough for Rinoa to hear him.

"Yeah, Squall. Damn." Rinoa frowned a little bit. She always was the one out of the group that was the most uneasy when it came to death. When they thought that Seifer was executed for kidnapping the Galbadian president (although dictator was a far more accurate term), Rinoa was quick to show her feelings about the blonde haired gunblade user, her and Seifer's short relationship from the year before one of the first topics of discussion. "It doesn't make sense Zell. Why would a kid who had so much going for him hang himself when Edea and Cid were killed by Ferin when the Cid and Edea didn't even know the poor kid? It can't just be coincidence: something else has to be up."

"Yeah, but what?" Zell asked out loud. Squall nodded in agreement. To him, something just didn't seem right. There was more to his than meets the eye. Then again, to Squall almost everything had more behind the scenes than the public knew about.

"Guys I'm heading for the showers" Squall announced after a few moments of pondering on the matter.

"I'll join you Squall" Rinoa announced just as Squall got up from his seat.

Squall turned around, a surprised expression on his face. 'Since when does Rinoa want to have sex in the shower?' "Rinoa this is so, err, sudden."

Rinoa gave an equally surprised look. "Shower? Squall, I mean to the dorm." That resulted in a laugh from Zell, which Squall deemed reason enough to for a hit on the head.

The press conference was three hours later, at almost precisely twelve 'o clock in the afternoon. One of the reporters was running late and Squall refused to start the conference until all of the reporters were present. He was in no mood to repeat anything, even in the form of an answer to a lagging reporter. It was obvious that he was agitated, and that was part of the report relayed back to the stations.

Squall told them in no pleasant terms everything that he knew of the matter … which was pretty much nothing. The reporters were, to be blunt, pissed. They had assumed that when they heard that the founders of SeeD were murdered, it was some government conspiracy, not a calculated assault by some madman. These days, conspiracies proved far more fascinating than murders.

However, Squall managed to let out the tiny detail that Ferin was an ex-SeeD. He didn't want the want the investigation of Ferin and his connections with Balamb to get too much publicity, but by the sounds of the murmuring reporters as they left the auditorium, the investigation wasn't going to get publicity from anyone.

It was roughly eight at night when a tired and frustrated Squall returned to his dorm after yet another meeting with the Garden Administration. It was the last in a marathon of other similar meetings, if one can consider an unorganized debate by a group of power-hungry instructors a meeting.

The moment the door slid behind him, Squall got on the floor, got his back against the wall, and took a breather. Squall would of rather faced Ultimecia a thousand times over than have to attend another meeting with the Administration again.

Politics. He hated it, if only because he didn't know how to play this type of game and those that did may be playing him…and Garden.

If something was to happen soon, Squall would want it to happen soon. If not, he'd have to learn quickly how to play the game. And if there was one game he did not want to play, it was politics.

Rinoa turned her head to Squall; her body nestled nicely enough on a couch that was placed in front of a T.V. "Bad day Squall?"

"No shit" Squall grumbled. He knew that Rinoa was trying to help him out, but right now he didn't need someone feeling sorry for him. What he needed then was some peace and quiet. Then again, a backrub wouldn't of have hurt either.

"Squall, don't you dare even think of talking to me like that. I don't want anyone talking to me like that." Rinoa sighed. "My gosh Squall, I know this is rough on you, but -" She was cut short by Squall.

"Rinoa, listen to me. I've had the closest thing to a mom and dad killed in front of me. I mean, oh just forget it!"

"No Squall, I'm not just going to forget it. I'm not here just for you and me to kiss and talk about things that don't really matter! I'm here for you when you need me. If you ever feel down, I'm going to be there for you." She looked at him, waiting for a response. Squall didn't say anything to her. He just closed his eyes and looked up.

After a few moments, Squall looked back at Rinoa. "Come here Rinoa" he said almost commanding, but with a dash of love. Rinoa complied, getting on top of his lap as he sat there. Squall softly placed his heavy head on her shoulder, and she in response put her soft light hand on his cheek. "I feel so angry now Rinoa."

"At Ferin?"

"Yeah. I mean, now I really understand how you felt when Ultimecia possessed you. That bastard used me Rinoa. I feel so much hate towards him now. I mean, I don't even think I hated as much as I hate Ferin now.

"And what do you want to do to him?" Squall closed his eyes, putting his head against the wall trying to think. He had to know what he was feeling, not what he wanted to feel. What was he really feeling? He had to know. Then, it hit him like a brick.

"I want to kill him."

"Why do you want to kill him Squall?"

"Vengeance" Squall muttered as he returned his head to Rinoa's shoulder.

"Squall, I don't care if you kill him or not. But I do care for the reason. Squall, kill him if you must. But don't become a murderer like he did. Show him the judgment that he was seeking."

"Does he deserve it?"

"No, but then again I probably don't deserve you."

"I thought it was the other way around?"

"Whatever" she said with a grin. That forced a chuckle from Squall. He seemed to be rubbing off her after all. It was good to have his woman by his side.

"What's on TV?"

"Since when do you watch TV?"

"Since I started to get really tired of my own drama." So Rinoa led him to him to the couch, and then they did some channel surfing. When they didn't find anything good on TV (Rinoa always did say there was nothing good on Tuesdays) the two decided to just talk, and it was the type they hadn't have for a long time.

At nine Zell began to franticly pound on the dorm door. "Squall, Squall!" The Commander rushed from the couch, caught off guard by the martial artists' tone.

"What is it man?" Squall asked as he opened the door. "Has there been another -"

"No suicides but its Dr. Kadowaki! She just told me after bringing in some medial shipment that she knows Ferin."

"She knows Ferin?" Squall asked in a shocked tone. "How good?"

"Enough to know his birthday was January eleventh and he came from Galbadia. The first one makes sense, but we usually don't tell anybody where we came from, especially if it's from a bad family like Ferin."

Squall quickly turned to Rinao, but she was already dressed. She wanted to get involved in this, and Squall knew that there was nothing he could of done to convince her otherwise.

In ten minutes they were already in front of the doctor's desk. It was a well known fact around Balamb Garden that the Doctor's stress level could be calculated by how much empty coffee cups were laid about her desk. There were about a dozen or so on her desk.

"She's my grandson Squall" was the first thing she said.

"But Doc, you've always told us that you had no kids."

"Zell, everyone at Balamb are my children. But Ferin was…closer. I was the closest thing he ever had to a grand mother, and him the closest to any true child." She paused, taking another sip of coffee. "He always was an err, um, troubled child. Yes, that's the best word for it I suppose."

"Doctor" Rinoa butted in, "If talking about Ferin is too much for you, you don't have to."

"Thank you sweetheart" the old doctor smiled. "But you have to know about my cub. He got it from his father, who I unfortunately DID know. His father was Vaan Alengar, and he was a gangster before a poor boxer. Vaan was always a fighter, always fighting for what he and no one else believed in. That included Darwinism." She sighed again. "That's how he justified raping Ferin's mother, who even Vaan apparently knew but would never tell anyone who it was. But Ferin's mother couldn't support him, and Vaan took him in, so that's at least one good thing among a list of atrocities. But if there's one good thing about Vaan's character, it was he had some family values. He instilled in his boy the will to survive, the will to fight for what he believes in. That includes justice. You see Vaan was part of a minority class in Galbadia, and they were always third class citizens in Galbadia."

"That would explain why he called himself the Judge" Squall reasoned.

"Yes, Ferin always told me that if no one else was going to be a rightful judge, then he was. That explained why he joined Seifer's Disciplinary Committee. When everyone else in the Committee was a bunch of power abusing bullies, he acted as justly as he could. But, he was never liked and appreciated by most of the students. And if he was, it was usually a short term relationship by some trouble makers to use him to avoid getting into trouble. And that never lasted long."

"Did you appreciate his work?" Rinoa asked curiously.

"I would tell him at times he was a tad harsh, but he knew, or at least I think he knew, that I was proud of what he did. Someone had to, and by God I was going to be the one if no one else. But, he was alone. Thus the consequences of being a good person in a crowd of bad, I suppose. Or, at least until he met her."

"Her?" Squall blurted out. "What do you mean her?"

"Alladra Hemingway. What a kind soul she was. They met on a training mission. I think it was, forgive me if I'm wrong, Timber or something of the sort. Yes, it was Timber, some big forest country. Anyways, it wasn't love at first sight like you'd read in books. They became acquaintances, and didn't get along very well at all at first. They had something of a little war between the two of them. One day, he sentenced her to a weeks long detention, and on the second day he came to sit next to her, after just getting in an argument with me about not telling him who his Ma was, when he knew that I didn't know either but he didn't want to accept that I suppose.

I don't know what they talked about, but what I do know is that by the next day they were holding hands in her detention session. I think she said it was the only good detention she really ever got. I thought it was so sweet. But despite that relationship Ferin didn't change as much as I would have had like Squall. He was still that freedom fighter that acted first and thought second of the consequences on himself. But, at least she convinced him to cut his hair. Her hair was, oh lets say here." She patted her shoulder. "All light blonde and nicely done. His went down to my arse, and all messy and horrid. What a mess, I tell you." She sighed again. "But this relationship, like all the others, didn't last."

"What happened?" asked Zell quickly. All the others were shocked that the relationship ended: it sounded so good, so sweet. So much like Squall's and Rinoa's.

"She left him for some other boy. I think his name was Mavrick or something, doesn't matter now the boy died in his initiation mission. When she left him, Ferin was devastated. He blamed himself, for not being strong enough for her. That's where his father's Darwinism ideals came into play.

He started to spiral downward after that. He left the Disciplinary Committee, buried the ring his mother had given his father to give to him when Vaan took him in. He stopped calling himself by his last name, and named himself the Wolf. When I asked him why, he said 'A wolf is cunning, wise, deceiving his enemies.' I think he wanted to deceive himself, so that he could in his own eyes be strong enough to take Alladra back." The doctor took another sip of her coffee. "During the Crash of the Gardens, when you finally faced Edea and freed her of Ultimecia's possessing of her, he told me he was leaving, that he was joining the pack. I think he wanted to find himself. He was seventeen then. He's as old as you Squall. That was the last I ever saw of my Ferin." Dr. Kadowaki looked down and started to do some more paperwork. "Squall, just know that my Ferin is no heartless killer. He's lost, and I think you can find him at the old Galbadian Missile Base."

"Why there?" the Commander questioned.

"He sees to you as heroes…no, legends, like those of ancient myth. If there was a place for him to rest, it would be where his legends did what would seem suicide in desperate times. He wants to be filled with your aura, I think."

"Thank you Doctor" Squall said, thanking the old advisor. Zell said he was sorry about all this, and followed his Commander as he left the Infirmary. But Rinoa remained behind. She still had something to ask of the Doctor.

"Doctor? Why did she leave him? It sounded so perfect…how could she just leave like that?"

"I think it was because of her father."

"Her father?"

"Yes darlin'. You see, Mr. Hemingway was a politician in Dellot, and he didn't think it looked good if his daughter was dating some soldier."

"Sounds a lot like my Dad, Doctor."

"Maybe you could talk to her sometime Rinoa. She must be in a fit. She truly did love him, Rinoa, and she and I both know this isn't the Wolf we loved. This is the Judge."

"Thank you Doctor, I'll see what I can do. Goodbye Doctor."

"Goodbye Rinoa."