Lockhart's idea of a morale-booster became clear at breakfast time on February fourteenth. Dudley hadn't had much sleep because he had stayed up late finishing off a potions essay the night before, and he hurried down to the Great Hall, slightly late. He thought, for a moment, that he'd walked through the wrong doors.
The walls were all covered with large, lurid pink flowers. Worse still, heart-shaped confetti was falling from the pale blue ceiling. Dudley went over to the Gryffindor table, where Ron was sitting looking sickened and Dean was looking puzzled. Parvati and Lavender were both giggling and, to Dudley's surprise, so was Hermione.
"What's going on?" Dudley asked them, sitting down and wiping confetti off his bacon.
Ron pointed to the teachers' table, apparently too disgusted to speak. Lockhart, wearing lurid pink robes to match the decorations, was waving for silence. The teachers on either side of him were looking stony-faced. From where he sat, Dudley could see a muscle going in Professor McGonagall's cheek. Snape looked as though someone had just fed him a large beaker of Skele-Gro.
"Happy Valentine's Day!" Lockhart shouted. "And may I thank the forty-six people who have so far sent me cards! Yes, I have taken the liberty of arranging this little surprise for you all - and it doesn't end here!"
Lockhart clapped his hands and through the doors to the entrance hall marched a dozen surly-looking dwarfs. Not just any dwarfs, however. Lockhart had them all wearing golden wings and carrying harps.
"My friendly, card-carrying cupids!" beamed Lockhart. "They will be roving around the school today delivering your valentines! And the fun doesn't stop here! I'm sure my colleagues will want to enter into the spirit of the occasion! Why not ask Professor Snape to show you how to whip up a Love Potion! And while you're at it, Professor Flitwick knows more about Entrancing Enchantments than any wizard I've ever met, the sly old dog!"
Professor Flitwick buried his face in his hands. Snape was looking as though the first person to ask him for a Love Potion would be force-fed poison.
"I'll give you my best chocolate frog cards if you ask Snape how to make one," Dudley whispered.
"No way," Ron said.
"I have Agrippa ..."
Ron looked tempted.
"And I'll throw in my Ptolemy," Dean said. "I know that's the rarest in the set."
"Deal," Ron said, with a small nod.
Dudley and Dean laughed. Dudley was suddenly looking forward to potions.
All day long the dwarves kept barging into classrooms to deliver valentines, much to the annoyance of the teachers. After lunch, they had potions and filed into Snape's classroom.
"Remember our bet," Dudley whispered as they took their seats.
"Silence," Snape said, swooping into the room. He needn't have bothered. The class was silent, as they always were.
"Today, we are going to brew the fire-protection potion which we covered last week. Finnigan—how do you prepare the bursting mushrooms?"
"You erm …"
"You don't know," Snape interrupted. "Five points from Gryffindor."
Hermione had her hand in the air, but Snape ignored her.
"Brown—which animal's blood do we use?"
"Salamandar, professor,"
"Correct."
'Dursley—what color is the final potion."
"Erm, green?"
"Green?" snarled Snape. "If the potion is green, then you have brewed a poison. Foolish boy. Five points from Gryffindor for idiocy. The correct answer is red."
He waved his wand and instructions appeared on the board. "The instructions are here. The ingredients we covered last week …" he trailed off and fixed his gaze on Ron.
"What is it, Weasley?" he snapped.
"Sir, I was …"
Dudley gave Ron a nudge in the ribs.
"I was wondering if you could teach us a love potion."
The class gasped. Across the room, Malfoy's, who had returned to classes last week, mouth had dropped open.
"What did you say?" Snape asked, icily.
"Love potions, professor. Professor Lockhart said …"
"Gilderoy Lockhart is an abject fool," Snape interjected, striding towards Ron's desk. "This is my classroom, Wealsey. You would do well to remember that. It is I who decides what to teach. Not Lockhart and certainly not you. Understand? Contradict me in my classroom again. Dare to dictate my lesson plans again, and you will walk out of that door and not return. Understand?"
Ron gulped and nodded.
"Say 'yes, professor' or no, professor," Snape said.
"Yes, professor," Ron said.
"Potions is an art form Weasley. An art form which you lack the necessary skills, intellect or patience to adequately perform. I will take 10 points from Gryffindor for your cheek. You can serve one night's detention with me and you and your Gryffindor friends can write a 15 inch essay on the importance of not interrupting the class with their own idiotic needs. They can thank you after the lesson."
Ron was in a bad mood, but he cheered up when Dudley and Dean, laughing despite the extra work they had been given, handed over the chocolate frog cards.
"Suppose it was worth it to complete the set," Ron muttered.
Hermione looked reproachful. "Did you have to do something so stupid? You know what Snape's like. Now we have extra work when we could be doing something useful. Parvati and Lavender both glared at Ron too when they passed.
"Ignore them" Dean said. "It was worth it just to see Snape's face."
The three laughed again.
Later that evening the three of them plus Hermione gathered and looked over the diary once more at Ron's suggestion. Hermione was a bit frosty because of the extra work they had been given but had agreed to join them.
The common room was quite busy, but as the common room was large, they could always find a place where they wouldn't be disturbed. Fred and George were sat in a corner, plotting some prank or another with Lee Jordan. Luna and Ginny were sat by the fire playing gobstones. Seamus was sat by himself studying and Oliver Wood and some of his friends were working together on their homework. Even Colin Creevey was there, to Dudley's surprise, doing his homework—he didn't often stay in the common room, scared of Dudley, no doubt.
"What is it Ron?" Hermione asked. "Do you have an idea how to read the diary?"
Ron shook his head. "No, and I don't think we should," he said. "I think we should destroy it."
"Why? This could help stop Slytherin's monster," said Hermione.
"My dad told me about cursed books," Ron said. "This belonged to You-Know-Who. There's bound to be some dark magic in it."
"He has a point," Dean said. "It looks harmless—but this is You-Know-Who we're talking about."
Hermione looked unsure. "I get what you're saying but it's the only way I can think of to unlocking the mystery. I mean, I've done some research in old school records and family trees, but I haven't found any link to Salazer Slytherin. There are no Slytherins in Lucius' family line, and he married Narcissa Malfoy, who was born Narcissa Black. But maybe the diary can tell us who the heir is exactly."
"Ok, but what if this is the key to opening the Chamber," Ron said. "One—do we really want to mess with it? What if we accidentally unlock it? And two—destroying it will stop the chamber being opened anyway."
Dudley nodded. That made sense.
"But that way we won't find out who opened the chamber," Hermione said.
"I think stopping it from being opened is more important," Ron said.
Dudley nodded in agreement. So did Dean.
"Ok," Hermione nodded. "Let's destroy it."
"Say no more!" Dudley announced. He grabbed the diary and strode over to the fire. Ginny and Luna were watching him—Luna's mouth agape in surprise and Ginny looking shocked. Colin too was watching, looking frightened as Dudley passed close to his desk.
Dudley tossed the diary into the roaring fire and headed back to the others. "Done and dusted," he announced. "Now, who's up for a game of exploding snap!"
