Dudley, Ron, Dean and Hermione were just about to leave when the door burst open so violently that it bounced back off the wall.

Lucius Malfoy stood there, fury on his face, and cowering behind his legs, covered in bandages was Dobby.

"Good evening, Lucius," said Dumbledore pleasantly.

Snape looked impassive. McGonagall looked angry and Lockhart looked uncertain.

Mr. Malfoy almost knocked Dudley over as he swept into the room. Dobby went scurrying in after him, crouching at the hem of his cloak, a look of abject terror on his face.

The elf was carrying a stained rag with which he was attempting to finish cleaning Mr. Malfoys shoes. Apparently Mr. Malfoy had set out in a great hurry, for not only were his shoes half-polished, but his usually sleek hair was disheveled. Ignoring the elf bobbing apologetically around his ankles, he fixed his cold eyes upon Dumbledore.

"So!" he said "You've come back. The governors suspended you, but you still saw fit to return to Hogwarts."

"Well, you see, Lucius," said Dumbledore, smiling serenely, "I heard from acting headmistress Minerva McGonagall that a number of students and our Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher had headed into the Chamber of Secrets. Needless to say, I hastened here and, needless to say, the rest of the school governors wanted me back. They seemed to think I was the best man for the job after all. Very strange tales they told me, too... Several of them seemed to think that you had threatened to curse their families if they didn't agree to suspend me in the first place."

Mr. Malfoy went even paler than usual, but his eyes were still slits of fury.

"So - have you stopped the attacks yet?" he sneered. "Have you caught the culprit?"

"We have," said Dumbledore, with a smile.

"Well?" said Mr. Malfoy sharply. "Who is it?"

"The same person as last time, Lucius," said Dumbledore. "But this time, Lord Voldemort was acting through somebody else. By means of this diary."

He held up the charred remains of the diary.

The elf was doing something very odd. His great eyes fixed meaningfully on Dudley, he kept pointing at the diary, then at Mr. Malfoy, and then hitting himself hard on the head with his fist.

"I see..." said Mr. Malfoy slowly to Dumbledore.

"A clever plan," said Dumbledore in a level voice, still staring Mr. Malfoy straight in the eye. "This is speculation but, forgive me, being far cleverer than most, you'll find my speculation is likely to be correct. But I believe that whoever posessed the diary slipped it into Mr. Dursley books, hoping he would take the blame. Imagine, a muggleborn wizard attacking and killing students at Higwarts. The impact would be devastating. Who knows what the consequences might have been. Muggleborns recieve enough prejudice and hatred as it is."

"Quite," said Mr. Malfoy, coldly.

And still, behind his back, Dobby was pointing, first to the diary, then to Lucius Malfoy, then punching himself in the head.

Dudley frowned, not getting why Dobby was acting so strangely.

Hermione, however, gave a small, "Oh"

"Don't you want to know how Dudley got the diary, Mr. Malfoy?" she said, suddenly.

All eyes turned on her.

"You gave it to him, didn't you," she said.

Dudley's mouth dropped open. Ron too looked stunned. Dean however looked like he had come to this conclusion himself.

"You?" Dudley snarled.

"Prove it," Mr. Malfoy hissed.

"Oh, no one will be able to do that," said Dumbledore, smiling at Hermione. "Not now that Riddle has vanished from the book. On the other hand, I would advise you, Lucius, not to go giving out any more of Lord Voldemort's old school things. If any more of them find their way into innocent hands, I think Arthur Weasley, for one, will make sure they are traced back to you. He is very angry that his daughter was attacked..."

Lucius Malfoy stood for a moment, and Dudley distinctly saw his right hand twitch as though he was longing to reach for his wand. Instead, he turned to his house-elf. "We're going, Dobby!"

He wrenched open the door and as the elf came hurrying up to him, he kicked him right through it. They could hear Dobby squealing with pain all the way along the corridor.

Hermione suddenly spoke. "Professor Dumbledore," she said hurriedly. "Can I give that diary back to Mr. Malfoy, please?"

"Certainly, Hermione," said Dumbledore calmly. "But hurry. The feast, remember...

"Come on, quick!" Hermione said. Baffled, Dudley followed Hermione who grabbed the diary and dashed out of the office. He could hear Dobby's squeals of pain receding around the corner.

"Quick, give me a sock!" Hermione said.

"A sock?" Dudley said, not sure what Hermione was planning. Dean however seemed to have cottoned on. He had pulled off one of his own and passed it to Hermione.

"Come on!" The four caught up with them at the top of the stairs.

"Mr. Malfoy," Hermione gasped, skidding to a halt, "I've got something for you-"

She forced the smelly sock into Lucius Malfoy's hand.

"What the -?"

Mr. Malfoy ripped the sock off the diary, threw it aside, then looked furiously from the charred book to Hermione. "One day, your kind will learn their place." he said coldly. "Come on, Dobby."

He turned to go.

"Come, Dobby. I said, come."

But Dobby didn't move. He was holding up Dean's disgusting, slimy sock, and looking at it as though it were a priceless treasure.

"Master has given a sock," said the elf in wonderment. "Master gave it to Dobby."

"What's that?" spat Mr. Malfoy. "What did you say?"

"Got a sock," said Dobby in disbelief. "Master threw it, and Dobby caught it, and Dobby - Dobby is free."

Lucius Malfoy stood frozen, staring at the elf Then he lunged at Hermione.

Instantly Ron leapt in front of her to shield her. As one, Dudley and Dean fired off a pair of hexes

"Locomotor mortis!"

"Malleus ictu!"

Dudley's spell snapped Mr. Malfoy's legs together.

Dean's bludgeoning hex hit him like a punch, knocking him sprawling to the floor where he bounced down a small flight of stairs.

On the ground, Mr. Malfoy fumbled for his wand.

"Expelliarmus!" Ron shouted.

The wand went spiralling out of Mr. Malfoy's grasp and Dobby hurried to pick it up.

"You dare!" Mr. Malfoy snarled.

"You will go now!" Dobby said, raising a long finger.

"Give the wand to me Dobby," Dudley said.

Dobby hastened to obey.

"Think I should snap it?" Dudley said, smirking.

"If you dare, boy ..."

"Or what?" Dudley snapped. "Going to try and do me in again? You just tried and failed."

"Dudley, you'll get into serious trouble. As much as he deserves it ..." Hermione said.

"Hermione's right, snapping someone's wand is ..."

But quite what it was, Dudley never found out. Filled with anger, he pushed hard on each end of the wand and it snapped in two with a loud crack and a shower of sparks.

"You!" Malfoy was livid. "I'll see you jailed for this boy!"

"No, you won't," a voice said.

They all jumped. It was Lockhart, coming towards them.

"I came to have a word, Dudley, before you went to the feast." He looked shaken by what he had just witnessed, but his voice was calm.

"Lockhart ..." Lucius growled. "What are ..."

"Dudley, what you have done is very serious. It means a sentence in Azkaban," Lockhart said, urgently.

"I tried to warn you, Dud," Ron said, softly.

"But ..."

"Don't worry, don't worry—I can fix it," Lockhart glanced around to make sure nobody else was nearby.

"All of you, swear to keep this between yourselves,"

"I swear," Dudley said, wondering what Lockhart was going to do.

"We swear," said the others—even Hermione and Dobby.

"Obliviate," Lockhart said. Malfoys face turned blank for a few seconds and he blinked, confused.

Lockhart darted forward. "Mr. Malfoy, are you alright?"

"What ..." Mr Malfoy began.

"You slipped, sir, took quite a nasty fall. And ... goodness!" Lockhart pointed at the two halves of the wand.

"Slipped?" Mr. Malfoy said.

"Yes, right down these stairs. Goodness, it's a wonder you didn't hurt yourself."

"I can't ..."

"Hospital wing," Lockhart said. "You should see Madam Pomfrey immediately."

"I'm fine," Lucius growled, getting uneasily to his feet, The leg-binding charm seemed to have almost worn off, but he was still very shaky.

"Get out of my way!" and wobbling slightly, his hair ruffled, he staggered down the corridor.

"Professor, you shouldn't that's ..."

"It was the only way to keep Dudley here, out of Azkaban," Lockhart said. "Surely you didn't want that?"

"No," said Hermione. "But ..."

"Come on, Hermione," Ron said.

"Ok, fine,"

"Thanks, Professor," Dudley said, gratefully.

"A pleasure, now, Dudley, a quick word in your ear, perhaps you can help me out."

He led Dudley by the arm into a nearby classroom and shut the door. Dudley caught a glimpse of Dobby bowing to Hermione and thanking her.

"I am of course going to write a book about this," he announced. "It's a guaranteed best seller-Battling with Basilisks, or perhaps Boarding with Basilisks. Anyway, I want you to give a statement to the Daily Prophet, collaborating the events."

"Of course," Dudley said, immediately.

Lockhart beamed. "Of course, I will spruce the story up—make it palatable for readers. I'll be sure to mention yours and your friends work during the proceedings. But there will be a few changes here and there—make it more exciting, trim down the dull bits, etcetera, etcetera."

"I'll arrange an interviewer to visit you at your home." he winked. "Another step on your own road to fame, eh Dudley?"

Dudley nodded. "Sounds good," he grinned.

As Professor Lockhart turned to leave, Dudley stopped him. "Professor, what was that spell you used?"

"Obliviate, a memory charm. Very powerful in the right hands. Very useful—of course it takes a lot of skill and a lot of finesse to cast properly, to properly focus it to erase the memories you want. Or to erase all and leave your victim a mindless wretch,"

"That's what you did with the snake?"

"Correct—the most powerful I could. It didn't know where it was or what it was."

"And with Mr. Malfoy ..."

"I erased only the more recent memories, about you snapping his wand."

"Can you teach me?"

Lockhart hesitated. "It is a difficult spell to master."

"But useful,"

Lockhart nodded. "Extremely useful," he looked thoughtful. "Ok, Dudley, I believe next year you are going to have Hogsmeade Weekends—I will try to make time. Teach you all I know. Be warned—it's a very tricky charm to get right and very dangerous to get wrong. Only the most skilled wizards can master it."