A/N: A little gift for the amazing MagicGirlinAMuggleWorld!
Replevy
I'll be safe.
Those were the last words he'd said to her as he left for his assignment.
Except he hadn't been safe.
He'd been a brave, self-sacrificing, loyal git.
James had been captured creating a diversion for Marlene to get Sirius out after he'd been an equally brave, self-sacrificing, loyal git, ending up needing extensive healing. And Lily had spent the last month trying to find him, trying to get him out, trying to salvage the last good thing this world had given her.
But James was nowhere to be found.
"You're sure?" Sirius gripped the table in front of him.
"Of course I'm sure," Lily snapped. "I took the cloak and searched the whole bloody place!"
"That was the last one, Evans."
"Don't you think I haven't realized that?!"
"Lily." Remus' voice was calm, too calm, the calm he used when he didn't want someone to fly off the edge.
"Let her, Rems." Sirius shook his head. "It's been ages and we've run out of possibilities. If anyone deserves a breakdown, it's Lily."
"I'm not breaking down!" She pounded the table in front of her.
"I'm sorry, Lils." Marlene wrapped her hands around Lily's. "We'll figure something out."
Lily sighed, "I don't blame you."
"She blames me," Sirius quipped with a grin, and Lily couldn't help but chuckle.
"I blame Voldemort and his cronies, not a single one of you."
"We still need to determine what's next though." Remus looked over their lists and maps.
The table went silent as the friends sat and looked at each other.
"What if," Peter began, "What if James escaped? What if he's hiding somewhere near any of these places trying to get someplace for help?"
Remus sat back in his chair and looked thoughtful. "That's not a bad idea, Wormy. Especially if James didn't escape with his wand."
"We should have been looking for Prongs." Sirius shook his head. "If Pete's right, Prongs is hiding somewhere in these forests waiting for us to find him."
Lily stood. "Then let's go."
"Lily, wait." Marlene grabbed her forearm. "Let's make a plan before we go running."
"Marly's right, we need to decide who's going where and when and with whom." Sirius reached over and pulled on Lily's hand. "Sit down, Lily."
She huffed as she sat down. "I hate you for being right."
Sirius squeezed her hand once and turned to Remus. "You and Lily with Wormy, Marlene with Padfoot?"
"Smart," Peter grinned. "Then we can cover two places at once and have back up when we find him."
"Great." Lily tapped the map closest to her. "And since I know you won't agree to searching right this second, when should we set out?"
"Tomorrow when the sun sets?" Marlene looked around the table.
"Perfect," Lily answered before anyone could offer more reasons to keep her sitting. "We'll start where James was the night of the attack and then work out from there."
"Until we find James." Sirius held her gaze. "We'll find him, Lily, I promise."
Lily walked with Remus on their fourth night out searching, hoping that Wormy would find something tonight. So far both animagus had come up empty-handed every place they had searched. It was getting harder and harder not to fear that the worst had happened. Not to think about how she'd manage if James wasn't coming home.
"Don't lose hope, Lily." Remus took her hand and squeezed it.
"I'm trying."
"James is a fighter," Remus murmured. "He's always been a fighter, but especially when it comes to you."
"I'm not the one missing, Remus." Her voice was barely above a whisper.
Remus chuckled, "No, but he knows you're alone, and he'll fight to get back to you. He'll fight for you."
Lily swallowed the lump that climbed high in her throat. "Thanks.'
"No one is giving up, Lily, especially not you."
Wormy came scurrying back and climbed up on Remus' shoulder. The sign that he'd come up with nothing. Again.
"Let's go back and see how Sirius and Marlene fared." Remus scratched the rat's ears, then set him back down and let Pete transform.
She tried to keep positive that they'd have some sort of news, something to go on, but the sinking feeling in her heart made it hard to hope for anything.
The lights were on when they landed at their flat and Lily's little kindling of hope died as she stared at the yellow light emanating from the windows.
Peter patted her arm. "Let's just go see what they found."
"We're not giving up, Lily." Remus wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "Especially not you."
Lily didn't trust herself to answer, but she let her two friends lead her inside, to what was most likely another night without any idea of where James was. She didn't want to lose hope. She wanted to fight for James. Fight to find him. Fight for a future with him.
But right now she was fighting to just stay upright. To put one foot in front of the other. To keep swallowing the fear that was bubbling inside her that James might never come home.
She was starting to think she was going mad as they walked up the stairs. Lily could have sworn she heard James cursing. What a cruel thing for her brain to do. If it was going to make her hear things that weren't there then why couldn't they be nice things rather than the sound of the man she loved cursing like he was in pain?
Remus said something but Lily couldn't bring herself to focus on it. As awful as the sound was, she kept hoping her brain would conjure something more, give her something to hold on to, even if it wasn't the nicest thing James had ever said.
She pushed open the front door, wondering if everyone would just let her alone in her room for a few hours so she could slowly slip into madness, but she stopped dead in her tracks when the door opened.
James stood at the kitchen table, gripping its edge, as Sirius and Marlene ran their wands along his bare back.
Lily couldn't breathe. If her brain was inventing things she might die on the spot. Then hazel eyes behind broken frames turned and locked with hers. She felt him greedily take her in, from her face all the way down to her boots and then back up, pausing on her lips for a long, hungry second.
"Lily."
Her name on his lips broke whatever trance she'd been under and Lily ran across the room, jumping into his arms as he caught her around the middle. Her legs wrapped above his hips as she kissed him in desperation, her hands pulling on his overgrown locks while her cheeks scraped against the short scruffy whiskers on his face.
Sirius laughed behind them. "Aren't you glad we healed you first, Prongs? Rather than taking you, broken and bloodied, straight to Lily." Sirius' words broke through Lily's desperate kiss like a bucket of ice water.
"Oh, Merlin, you were hurt and I just-" She loosened her vice-like grip around his waist, preparing to drop to the ground, but James gripped her bum, holding her firmly in place.
"No, it's fine, I'm fine."
"What happened, Prongs?" Peter collapsed into a chair, looking fifty years old.
James held Lily tightly against his bare chest before moving slowly to the sofa and lowering them down. Lily shifted to sit next to him, but James only let her spin around to face the room, keeping her firmly planted in his lap.
"My diversion worked brilliantly, but one of the idiots managed to grab hold of me and side-long apparate me to that manor house. As soon as we landed I was surrounded. I made a show of going willingly after giving up my wand. But before we got very far I set off one of our smoke bombs and changed into Prongs and ran. The only issue there being they'd started firing spells blindly and I was hit hard. I didn't know where I was and was now a wounded buck or a wounded, wandless, wizard. Neither of which suited me, but a deer was less likely to attract a Death Eater so I kept with it, hoping I'd find my way to someplace." He tipped his head to Sirius. "It's the first time smelling you has been a welcome relief."
"Remember that the next time you want to tell me Padfoot needs a bath," Sirius smirked.
James pulled on Lily's stomach as he leant back into the sofa, and she gingerly tried to follow him, not letting her full weight rest against him. His answer to her actions was an unhappy grunt and another tug.
"Where were you hurt?" Lily sat up, ignoring the way James' grunt shifted to a growl.
"It was nothing."
"His shoulders," Marlene answered and flipped James off when he glared at her. "She has a right to know. Just because you want to look like an invincible hero doesn't mean I need to support it."
"How bad?" Lily redirected her friend's attention back to her.
"Took ten passes to close the biggest slice and dozens of smaller ones needed closing. He was white as a sheet when we found him and got him back to human form. I gave him a blood replenishing potion and several pain-relieving potions. Sirius gave him a Pepper Up potion to keep him awake for when you got back."
"Thanks, awfully," James grumbled.
"Let's get you to bed." Lily stood quickly before James could try and pull her back. "Now that you're here and safe, we can talk about what happened when you're better."
James started to speak but Peter interrupted him. "Lily's right. Plus we're all knackered from trying to find you for the last month. I vote for a celebration dinner in sixteen odd hours."
"We're in." Sirius pulled Marlene to him by her waist. "Good to have you back, James."
Marlene blew James a kiss and let Sirius lead her off to their room.
Remus and Peter left too, leaving James sitting on the couch and Lily standing in front of him.
"Lils, I'm so sorry."
"Sorry for saving Sirius' life," Lily shook her head.
"No, but I told you-"
"We should get to bed." Lily cut him off, knowing the discussion James was trying to have would break her.
"Don't hate me." James flinched as he tried to stand.
Lily rushed to his side. "Where does it hurt?"
"Honestly? Everywhere. Where the slicing curses hit my back is the worst. But please don't hate me."
"James, stop being ridiculous. The fates obviously have a sense of humor because I'm in love with you. I don't hate you." She propped him up, trying to lead him towards their bedroom in an effort to keep a hold over herself.
Her heart was beating a million miles an hour at the feel of his warm body under her hands, the sound of his breathing in her ear, the shifting of him against her as they slowly walked forward, his scent that was just so James filling her nostrils.
James.
Alive.
Here.
They shut the door to their bedroom and Lily fought the rising lump in her throat and swiped at the moisture gathering in her eyes.
"Lily."
She looked up and her eyes settled on his broken frames. Why had no one fixed them yet? Why hadn't she fixed them yet? Her wand was in her holster. A simple Reparo and they'd be as good as new.
"Lily."
She should check his shoulders, make sure that Marlene and Sirius' spells were holding.
A warm and gentle hand tucked under her chin, guiding her eyes till they finally landed on a familiar hazel.
"Lily."
The lump pushed through as all the moisture in her eyes broke the dam she'd been fighting to hold in place.
Lily jumped at James, desperate to hold on, to prove to her brain that he really was here. He hefted her up, her legs back around his waist as her arms hugged his neck and shoulders, pulling their bodies flush against each other.
"I thought I'd lost you." Her voice shook with her body and James gripped her tighter to him.
"Don't hate me for not coming home that day."
"I don't hate you." Lily tangled her fingers in his hair. "I was just so scared."
James nuzzled her ear, pressing feather light kisses against her cheek. "I thought of you, every second I thought of you, that I had to get back to you. You saved me, Lils."
Lily leant into his kisses, adjusting so he could move his lips against her neck as well. "Are you sure you're feeling up to this?"
"Absolutely." James chuckled against her before dropping backward onto their bed.
"We're going to go slow, I don't want to aggravate your injuries because we went at it." Lily glared down at him but James just pressed up and kissed her.
"Ah, what a way to go that would be." James chuckled, and the cords around Lily's heart finally loosened their death grip, her lungs finally filled with air, and for the first time in over a month, laughter bubbled to the surface from deep within her chest.
"I love you." She pressed a kiss to a silvery line across his torso.
James smiled up at her with pure joy shining in his eyes. "I love you too."
